L.T. Marshall.
Other books in this series
The Carrero effect
The Carrero Influence
The Carrero Solution
The Carrero Heart - Beginning
Bonus book – Jakes POV
Other books
Just Rose
L.T. Marshall can be found on all
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Acknowledgements
I would like to thank the readers, fans and my super fans. You all know who you are and have kept me going while writing this newest addition to the Carrero series. I live for the fun we have in the Facebook fan group. You are all my little weirdos and I adore every one of you. I want to take some time to specifically mention a couple of people though.
Jackie and Grace
– my support system and my sounding boards. You two are part of my trio and we will make the red carpet together one day.
Gem
– the traitorous slut who reads other writers work when I am not looking, hahah. Only kidding. To your patient ear and undying pushing at me to get it done.
Victoria
– My editor extraordinaire who rushed through this book in days to make sure we were pre-order ready.
Taherul
– My cover maker extraordinaire. You are too bashful to get a proper mention, but I said I would put you in here anyway.
My Beta readers
- you lot are too many to name, plus we do not want the other girls getting jealous hahah. So to you all. You made this book better!
Chapter 1
‘Here,’ I pass Jenny the sketches we have been working on across the table; the pretty brunette leans in to pour over them with interested brown eyes. Tall and slender and a little shy in her mannerisms, Jenny is my classmate and fast becoming one of my closest friends, next to Cristian; both of whom I met on day one of orientation and something just clicked with the three of us, straight off. I can feel something real with these two and despite myself, they have both wormed their way under my self defence system over the last few weeks, until I simply need them around me to function.
Christian is standing five feet away and draping some wild bohemian fabric on a tailor’s dummy to no avail. All tall and immaculately groomed in his ’preppy boy’ outfit today; blonde floppy hair and grey eyed, his grin aimed at his two best girls. We are tucked in a corner of the busy sewing room while the hustle and bustle of the other students around us floats this way, and the commanding voice of today’s lecturer. Everyone has been split into groups of three this week, to work on designs, our first assessment on simple tailoring skills is fast approaching.
‘I think if we go with this one, it’s pretty much a circle skirt and easy bodice, simple enough for us to draft ourselves and we could make it a bit edgier if we are clever with it.’ Jenny slides back one of the drawings, tapping a pink floral idea I have been mulling over, based loosely on a trending dress I have seen everywhere for a new season release.
We have been in class for a few weeks now, it’s been almost three months since I walked out of Arrick’s apartment and booked myself into a hotel. Two weeks later Jake found me a cute two bed apartment within walking distance, and school started days later, everything swift in his capable hands, pretty much like I assumed it would be. I have concentrated on my studies, getting my apartment how I like it, and going home every four weeks to see my family. It’s been hard, far worse than even I could envision a life without him would be, but I’m doing it; day by day I am still breathing, still fighting and not falling to a watery end like I thought I would.
I can live an Arry free life.
For the most part, I can push down the empty ache that I know is him, focus on work and blank the need to bring his name up in my cell every day. I deleted all our pictures on my phone, so I don’t have the memories of his smile, those hazel eyes or that gorgeous face. He made me hate him for a moment… Then I shut down the parts of my soul that he’s entwined with and blocked him out.
Arrick has been a missing chasm in my life, but it seems both of us concluded that we shouldn’t contact one another- a wall of silence at last; even Jake avoids mentioning him when I see him at our fortnightly lunch date. He knows how I feel, how much I don’t want to know how he is getting on and how angry I still am that he could just throw me away like I never meant a thing to him. I feel like I never really knew him, if this is how he can treat me, after everything I was supposed to mean to him. He told me I was part of him, and yet he let me go as if I had meant nothing.
It hurts, a lot more than I thought it would; Considering he told me that life sucked without me and yet here we are, three months of no Arry….. No calls, no texts, and no chance encounters, despite living close to one another. I guess I haven’t tried to reach out to him either, but then why would I? He made it clear that night that she was his future, there was no way around the fact that I couldn’t be, and I am learning how to live with a broken heart that will eventually go away.
He seems to plan his own trips home when he knows I won’t be in the Hamptons, I guess he relies on Jake for that; seeing as I fly home with him once a month. To date I haven’t run into him in passing in the city either. Not that it’s a surprise, I have kept my head down and left the party animal in me behind, and apart from the occasional party, Arrick never used to really travel in same circles as me. His fight career and Carrero Corp work means he is never going to be randomly traipsing the city or any women’s fashion stores. I am just focusing on the future I want for myself and finally feel in more control of some aspects of my life.
I’m doing it… Growing up all by myself.
I go home at the end of the day and spend time, either with my new-found two best friends, watching movies, or working in my custom made sewing room; where I am finding so much joy nowadays. Eating, breathing and living the life of a fashion student and compiling an impressive array of mock up designs hanging on clothes rails, despite the early days of my student life. I am excelling and seem to have a natural talent for this. The opportunities to attend cat walk shows, new releases and have sneak peeks of next seasons designs is completely overtaking my life. Enough to cope with the constant black hole of ache that happens when Arrick is a missing part. I won’t let this affect me.
‘Lemme see,’ Christian moves over the table to nosey at our group project; We have been given the challenge of coming up with a summer item of clothing to fit current trend, loose, floaty, feminine, and floral. With me being the one who loves to sketch designs all day long, I am the appointed designer on this one.
Christian leans in close, smelling a little too good, as he always does, and surrounds us in a fog of scent. I squint at his comical expression as he regards the papers.
‘Lift the hem up by a few inches and we have a winner.’ He smirks cheekily, despite his aversion to sex with the fairer species he has a thing for female legs on show. I am borderline sure it’s a fetish and does not fit at all with his love for men’s abs and what’s between their thighs.
‘We’re going with classy and fifties inspired.’ Jenny nudges him in the ribs as he leans over her, making it awkward for her to sit straight. Jenny is the quiet one of our trio, shy and softly spoken, while Christian is the flamboyant drama
queen. Christian eye rolls and huffs.
‘What ev’s. Far too conservative if you ask me!’ He goes back to trying to wrap his fabric around the dummy and we leave him to sulk, giggling at his grumpy stamping and glares cast our way. He likes to think he knows best, but really, his strengths are edgy and bold design, nitty gritty and daring. Jenny is more classy and stylish, while I seem to have a bit of a mix and a keen eye for trends.
‘You guys still coming for lunch today, my treat?’ I look up at Jenny across the table, reminding them of the celebratory plan; I finally finished my apartment and feel like it is worth celebrating over. My first steps of real adulthood. No more boxes or half furnished rooms and mess, no more bare walls and feeling like it is a temporary home. It’s finished, decorated and adorned with all my little touches. And it only took me two and a half months of abusing my two besties to help me get it that way.
My parents visited a week ago and really made me feel like I have finally found my place in life. I feel like we have come so far in such a brief time, I’ve regained their trust, their love and things are just looking up. Leila of course hates that I have moved here permanently, but she is warming to it and my frequent trips home means she can forgive me for it. She refuses to come to the city to see me though, apparently leaving this life behind to marry Daniel means she has an aversion to ever leaving home.
‘Oh, shit Soph’s, is that today? I can’t, it’s Marks birthday and I promised him I would meet him at lunch.’ Jenny’s big eyes and wobbling lip dismiss any urge to be mad at her; her boyfriend works crazy shifts and she barely sees him as it is. I know they have been having a rough time together lately; well, truth be told she never actually seems happy when it comes to him. I can’t be mad for her wanting to see him on his birthday, over my nothing lunch.
‘It’s okay, as long as Chris doesn’t bail too.’ I look up at him with a raised eyebrow as he wiggles his very muscular pert butt our way, laughing at his weirdness.
‘I wouldn’t bail on my queen.’ Christian blows me a kiss and I can’t help but think, not for the first time, how unfair it is that a guy as perfectly formed and handsome as him, is gay. When he isn’t being overly camp and emphasising it, then he pulls off straight guy all day long and he is always immaculately dressed. I sigh at the unfairness of life, having found a guy I get on with, almost as much as ‘he I will no longer name’, I feel it’s only typical he is out of bounds.
‘Well I fancy somewhere more upmarket; on me.’ I look his way with a raised brow and see him shrug in return. I am so not in the mood for fast food or our usual deli today. I want to throw on the dress I brought with me, flick out my hair, now that I am back to rocking blonde and just have a sophisticated lunch with my new favourite beau.
Second favourite beau, even if the first one no longer deserves the title.
‘I think I know the perfect place, only opened a month ago and no reservation required.’ Christian smiles at me with that dazzling, all too white, cosmetically enhanced grin, looking a little Calvin Clein model with the way he’s leaning in.
‘Sure. I trust you. As long as it’s not sushi! I do not like raw fish.’ I frown, and mock throw up with fingers down my throat in his general direction. Jenny giggles at me with an adoring look that makes her seem cutely juvenile.
‘Ewww no…. I prefer meat to fish! I can swallow that all day long, bitches.’ Christian says with a dirty wink and both Jenny and I eyeroll and grimace at his filthy joke; sometimes Christian is shameless and just likes to shock.
My kind of friend.
* * *
I’m trawling my phone messages after we finish eating, my sister reminding me of her anniversary party this coming month. Leila has been married only three years, but this is an annual event that no one misses if they want to remain physically unharmed. Sort of the highlight to everyone’s year, and a chance to glam up and get the party groove on. I reply, informing her I will be coming with two guests, Jenny and Christian, they have promised to be my strength at a party I know HE will be at. Even the Carrero’s never miss Leila’s parties, what with the two families being almost family in themselves and the last thing I need is to rock up alone and come face to face with the dream couple acting like they never knew me at all.
Yeah that won’t be awkward at all. Or painful in the slightest!
‘You done kitten?’ Christian’s smiling my way, throwing down his napkin after settling the bill, despite all my prewarning that this was on me. He is a sneaky boy, always diving in with that damn chivalry that I used to love so much on someone else. It just irks me right now.
‘Hey, I said I was paying!’ I protest as I spy the receipt on the plate, but he only grins back devilishly. Christian’s family is much like mine in that I never want for anything; well off, and generous to a fault; both of us come from grandeur and have more than comfortable allowances to live on.
‘I pay for my girls.’ He smiles again but I only eyeroll, Christian likes to imply constantly that Jenny and I are his ‘women’ although we all know he has been secretly dating a senior fashion student a couple of years above us, who has not quite come out of the closet. James is his blue-eyed boy with a severe fear of being ‘outted’.
Christian holds his hand out to me as he slides from the table, impeccably dressed in jeans and a button down that only emphasize his toned body. He is not overly tall for a guy, around five feet ten, but he’s perfectly proportioned and muscular with it. I take it graciously and let him pull me out to his side, keeping our fingers entwined. Christian is a very affectionate soul, he loves nothing more than man handling Jenny and I constantly, and likes to walk everywhere arm in arm, or hand in hand. Usually with one of us on each side. He reminds me of Arrick in that way and I am forever trying to stop myself making that connection.
‘Is my princess ready to go?’ He glances down at my chair, checking I have everything as I nod with a huge smile. Christian always makes me feel like smiling, he is one of those friends who put sunshine in your day, by just by being there; always the gentleman, and a lot of lovely. When he is not being an overly dramatic nightmare of a queen, of course.
‘I am.’ I giggle at him, as he tugs me against him to settle my arm in his like an old biddy and links fingers loosely, ready to walk out of the restaurant. He moves the chair aside and guides me with him towards the door, away from our table and onto the wide walkaway that is clear up the centre.
‘Sophie?’ A male voice halts me from behind, my body bristling at the familiarity of the voice, the undeniable tone and hoarse sexiness, sends my stomach into an instant dive, nerves immediately tingling. I can barely conceal my reaction, tensing on Christian’s arm. I can’t help but turn towards the source, heart thudding heavily, even though every part of me tells me to just walk away. My heart feels like it has gone into shock as I turn slowly, tense and scared at what I know will hurt to see. Months of nothing at all and the one day he has been plaguing my head mercilessly, more than any other day, he appears.
Arrick Carrero is standing a few feet away, obviously just arriving with two men behind him; all casually dressed, and I recognise one of them as someone that regularly hangs out with. The familiar face casts a friendly smile my way, a nod of recognition that I return with a half-smile before bringing my focus back to Arry. I don’t know how to react so grip Christian fingers harder, as though to beg him to help; he squeezes them back silently. His little show of support.
‘Hi.’ I say weakly, unable to hold the gaze of those perfect hazel eyes, in that all too flawless and clean-shaven face. He looks like the guy I miss, in every single little way and it only hurts me irreversibly that he looks so normal and unaffected by finally seeing me again. There is definite weirdness, uncertainty in how I should act, and I feel like I don’t know him anymore. My heart is playing a rhumba and my legs have gone weak as blood courses to my heart in stupendous fashion. Physically I am dying, outwardly I am still and cool, like he always was.
Christian let’s
go of my arm, unhooks his fingers and slings a supportive arm around my shoulders. He knows who Arrick Carrero is; any hot-blooded admirer of gorgeous men in the whole of New York know who he is, and he knows the backstory between Arrick and I only too well. A night of wine and movies had ended up with my sobbing my heart out and confessing the whole sorry story to the two of them at stupid o’clock one Saturday night. They know every single detail and decided he should earn crown of ‘idiot of the century’ for letting me go.
Arrick narrows his eyes a fraction, a slight tension to his jaw as he tries not to run his eyes over the way Christian is draped around me, I see the subtle tells. Not sure how to take it at all. Not sure I should even care if he doesn’t like it, I owe him nothing anymore.
He hurt you remember? Discarded you like you meant nothing.
‘How have you been?’ He clears his throat as his two companions wander off further in the direction of their table, leaving him alone with us. It is wholly awkward, and I resist the urge to fidget, aware of the way my heart and soul start to quiver at his mere presence and alert me to the fact that three months have not changed a whole lot between us. I clearly still fall to pieces at the sight of him, my heart aching and the sudden sadness of realising I still love him hits me in the gut. No matter how many times I have told myself I will never need him again, never want to…Here we are.
He looks like him; flawlessly pulled together, emotionally cool and stunning as he always is. Hair spiked on top and looking lighter in colour, freshly cut, clean shaven, those hazel eyes are a lot greener today, but then I guess seeing me again would maybe stress him out; especially if he swore to Natasha he would never have anything to do with me again. He didn’t go back on his word, ever.
Well, unless it came to me. I guess promises made to me didn’t mean anything when it came to her.
The Carrero Heart - The Journey: Arrick and Sophie (The Carrero Series Book 5) Page 1
