“Don’t judge me, Camilla.”
“No… I’m not judging you, darling. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on here. If he is cheating then I’ll kill him but you have to be sure. If you accuse him of this it could destroy your marriage and your life… your children’s lives.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Dawn’s voice cracked. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound defensive. I just hate this. I mean… I love him so much but I can’t deny that things have changed.”
“What evidence do you have that he’s been cheating?” Allie asked.
“He’s been getting calls and text messages at funny times. And I know it could be colleagues and clients but I just have a gut feeling that it isn’t. At least not all of them.”
Camilla crossed her legs and drummed her fingers on her kneecap. “But that’s still not sufficient evidence to convict the man of adultery.”
“I went into his email account this morning.”
Camilla sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. “Oh dear.”
Dawn held up her hands. “I shouldn’t have and I feel dreadful for it. Snooping is the worst but I had to know.”
“What did you find?” Allie’s tone was soft and inviting confidence.
“An email titled FYEO.”
“FYEO?” Allie shook her head.
“For your eyes only.” Camilla explained. “Did you read it?”
“Yes, Camilla. Of course I did.”
“And?”
“It seems that my husband has been arranging a weekend away at a luxury spa with some woman called Brianna Mandrell.” Even saying the name out loud made her feel queasy.
“Oh.”
“Oh? Camilla, I thought you’d be furious.”
Her sister sighed. “Look, Dawn, maybe it’s not what it seems like. Maybe it’s—”
“It does sound a bit suspicious, Camilla.” Allie chewed her lip. “I’d certainly advise speaking to him about this as soon as possible, Dawn. Just to clear it up.”
“But if I do that, he’ll know I’ve been snooping. He’ll never trust me again. I mean… I’ve turned into a completely paranoid, emotional, swollen, pregnant snooper.” She huffed and covered her face with her hands.
“Insecurity can drive us to do things we wouldn’t normally consider doing.” Allie rubbed Dawn’s back. “But this really would be best out in the open.”
“I know.” Dawn muttered into her palms.
“Or perhaps not.”
Dawn lowered her hands and met Camilla’s eyes.
“You think I shouldn’t say anything?”
“I just think you should give Rick a chance here. You know… he could have a perfectly good reason for this email and for all the other things that are worrying you. Why don’t I have a word with him?”
“That’s probably not a good idea. But thank you anyway.”
“I could do it from a sisterly perspective. If you do it, you’ll get emotional, but if I do it, I can keep calm and find out the truth.”
“I don’t know, Camilla.”
“Give me one chance. I’ll be careful how I say it. I’ll just… elicit the facts.”
Dawn looked from Allie to her sister then at her hands where they sat in her lap. Her nails hadn’t received any attention in ages and the cuticles were ragged from where she’d chewed them. And as for her hands; they were red and chapped from where she’d washed them repeatedly then failed to moisturise them. She just didn’t have time for such self-care anymore. Had Rick gone off her because she didn’t make enough effort?
“I think I should try first, Camilla. I don’t want to make things worse.”
“Up to you, sweetheart. But I’m willing to talk to him if you want me to.”
“Thanks. Right… I’m going to get my nails done.”
“What? Now?”
“Yes. I haven’t had them done in a lifetime. I’m going to see if Jenny can fit me in at the salon.”
“I’ll come with you.” Camilla started to rise.
“No, please don’t. I need some time to think.” Dawn stood up. “Thanks, Allie. Speak to you later, Camilla.”
She opened the door to the café then turned to wave at her friend and her sister, but Camilla had already taken Dawn’s seat on the sofa and was deep in conversation with Allie. She glanced up and flushed when she spotted Dawn watching her.
Was something going on with Camilla too, or was she expressing her concerns at Dawn’s behaviour?
Dawn shook her head then left the café, wondering how she was going to get through the next few months, but hoping that a manicure might be a good place to start.
Chapter 6
Sitting in the stylish salon, Dawn tried to focus on what Jenny was saying, but her mind was jumping around from one scenario to another.
“What was that?” Dawn asked. “Sorry, Jenny, it’s pregnancy brain.”
“Oh, so you are pregnant?”
“Yes. I take it you had your suspicions then?”
Jenny shrugged. “Could’ve been that you’d put a few pounds on, so I’d never have said anything.”
“A few pounds?” Dawn lowered her eyes to her belly. “We were going to tell people soon, make it all official, but we wanted to tell the children first.”
“Well congratulations! That’s fabulous news.”
Jenny watched Dawn’s face.
“Isn’t it?”
“It is. Fabulous.” Dawn sighed. “It was just a bit of a shock.”
“Not all babies are planned but they bring the love with them. Isn’t that how the saying goes. At least, it’s something like that. Anyway, good for you. I’ve always thought of you and Rick as the perfect couple. You seem so happy and so perfectly matched.”
Dawn bit the inside of her cheek. Was that how others saw her and Rick? As perfect? If only they knew the truth. She swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the painful lump that had lodged in her throat.
“Thank you. That’s a very kind thing to say.”
Jenny smiled then looked down at Dawn’s nails again. “There you go. That looks much better doesn’t it?”
Dawn admired the shimmering lilac polish that Jenny had applied to her nails. Her cuticles were now neat and her hands looked much better because Jenny had soaked them, exfoliated them, then smoothed in a rich rose scented lotion that made Dawn think of Turkish delight.
“Tell you what, shall I do you a pedicure too? On the house?”
“That would be lovely. But I’m happy to pay.”
“Won’t hear of it. My way of saying congratulations.” Jenny shook her head and her long blue hair fell over her shoulders. Dawn found it hard to keep up with the stylist’s changing hair colour, just last week it had been dyed different shades of grey and now it was a rich azure blue that reminded Dawn think of foreign summer skies.
“Well, thank you. But I do need to pop to the toilet first.”
“Of course.”
Dawn got up and made her way to the back of the salon then went through the black door and into the toilets.
Ten minutes later, she emerged.
“If you want to take a seat here, Dawn, I’ll soak your feet in…” Jenny stopped mid sentence. “Dawn?”
She hurried over and took hold of Dawn’s arms. “What is it? You’ve gone white as a sheet.”
Dawn opened her mouth to explain but the dull ache in her abdomen caused her to hunch over with fear.
“It’s all right, lovely, just sit down. Everything will be okay.”
But as Jenny lowered her into a chair, everything went black.
***
The sound of whispering dragged Dawn from the warm, dark place where she’d been floating. The whispers sounded familiar and she knew, deep inside, that she had to surface.
But it was so nice in the darkness where she was weightless and didn’t have to worry about anything.
Except for Laura and James!
She needed to pick her children up from school.
&nbs
p; She opened her eyes and sat up quickly.
“Dawn?”
Rick leaned over her, his face pale and his eyes pools of concern.
“Dawn, lie back down.”
“What? Where are Laura and James? I need to get them from school.”
“No you don’t. Your mother’s going to pick them up today and give them dinner. Dawn you’re in hospital. I came as quickly as I could. Camilla rang me. She said… she said that you’d collapsed at Jenny’s salon and that Jenny called an ambulance then called her.”
As Dawn settled back on the pillow in its white starched hospital-issue pillowcase, it all came flooding back. She’d had her nails done then gone to the toilet. She’d discovered blood in her underwear. She’d gone back out to tell Jenny then felt all woozy and… that was all she remembered. Except for being in an ambulance with a very kind female paramedic then being wheeled into the hospital and into a room where she’d been told to rest while they organised tests and a scan.
“But I only fainted. I didn’t need to come here.”
“They were concerned because you blacked out and because of the bleeding. Jenny was in a right old state apparently.”
“Poor Jenny.”
“Poor you!” He took her hand as he perched on the side of the bed. “I don’t know how I’d manage if anything ever happened to you, Dawn.”
“The baby?” She touched her stomach.
He shook his head.
“No!”
“They don’t know what’s wrong yet. That’s why they want to scan you. They said… they said…” He sighed then rubbed his eyes. “They said bleeding before twenty-four weeks is viewed as a threatened miscarriage but it could all be fine. The baby might be okay. Apparently, there are lots of reasons for bleeding in pregnancy.”
“But I fainted.”
He nodded. “That could well be the shock of seeing the blood, and according to the paramedic, your blood pressure is quite low again.”
Dawn’s heart melted as she took in how distressed he was. His tie was askew, his shirt crumpled and the fine lines around his eyes seemed deeper, as if the morning’s events had aged him rapidly.
Whatever might be different between them, he did care, and that made her want to hug him.
“Come here.” She opened her arms.
Rick leaned forwards and gently embraced her. To be held by him, to breathe in the familiar spicy scent of his aftershave and to bury her face in his neck all made her want everything to be okay again. She couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t get to hug him, where she didn’t see him every day and know that he was hers.
But she might have to face up to all that if their relationship changed, if his feelings for her had altered as much as she feared.
He released her and she leaned back on the pillows, and he softly stroked her cheek.
“It’s all going to be okay, Dawnie. I just know it.”
“I hope so, Rick.”
But she wasn’t just thinking about the baby inside her, she was thinking about her whole life too.
***
Even though the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit at the local hospital was extremely busy, they’d managed to fit Dawn in for a scan. Initially, she’d been told she might have to wait until the next day, but there had been a cancellation of a scheduled appointment, so they’d given Dawn the space.
And the baby had been fine. Heart beating strong and limbs moving around, safe in her womb. The relief had been overwhelming and Dawn had been struck by something; even though this baby’s conception had not been planned, she did want it. With all of her heart. There was no doubt in her mind.
The medical team had run further tests but admitted that they weren’t sure what had caused the bleeding. They’d also reassured her that although it might have seemed as though she’d lost a lot of blood, it was in fact not much at all. Sometimes, bleeding in pregnancy could be down to something as straightforward as changes to the cervix caused by pregnancy hormones, and the dull ache she’d experienced could have been down to those changes. They advised her to take it easy for the next few weeks, although how she was going to manage to do that with two children and a house to run, Dawn had no idea.
“Here’s a cuppa, Dawnie,” Camilla entered the lounge where Dawn was resting on the sofa. Camilla and Rick had tried to persuade Dawn to stay in bed once they’d arrived home from the hospital, but Dawn had refused. She couldn’t bear the thought of being upstairs alone, left to stew with her worries. So Camilla had insisted on bringing the quilt and pillows downstairs, then arranging them on the sofa.
Camilla put the mug on the coffee table then started plumping up the pillows.
“Will you stop?” Dawn swatted her sister’s hand away.
“I’m just trying to make you comfy.”
“I know and I’m grateful but you don’t need to keep fussing and if you keep making me all this tea I won’t be able to rest anyway, as I’ll be back and fore to the loo.”
Camilla nodded then slumped onto the end of the sofa.
“Ouch!” Dawn lurched forwards.
“Dawnie! What is it? More cramps?” Camilla’s eyes were wide, her face contorted with worry.
“No, silly, you just sat on my foot.”
“Ooops!” Camilla moved to the arm of the sofa and perched there, her eyes restless, her fingers fluttering across her lap.
“Camilla, I’m fine.”
“But you’re not. Or you weren’t. What if you’d lost this baby? How awful would we all feel then? I’m going to have a word with Rick as soon as—”
“Please don’t. He doesn’t need to know what I did. Or that I know about the emails and whatever else. Today’s scare has helped me re-evaluate. I’m not saying that I condone his… deceit, but I’m hoping there’s a good reason for it.”
“And there is… I mean, I’m sure there is, but you really need to avoid stress. You can’t be worrying that your husband’s cheating or going off you or anything else for that matter. You need stability and taking care of.”
“I know. But I’ll speak to Rick in my own time.” Dawn tilted her head. “Where is he anyway?”
“Upstairs.”
“He’s been gone for ages.”
“I think he’s on the phone.” Camilla’s eyes widened at her own words. “It’s probably just work.”
Dawn slumped onto the pillows. “Probably.”
Rick had rushed back to be at Dawn’s side then insisted that he’d stay home for the rest of the week, so he probably did have things he needed to sort out. She hoped it wouldn’t get him into trouble; she knew his bosses didn’t like their employees missing time. But surely this was a good reason to take some compassionate leave or even to work from home?
***
The next morning, Dawn sat in bed fighting the urge to get up and go downstairs to see what was going on. So far, in the forty-five minutes since Rick had got the children up, she’d heard Rick swearing, Laura reprimanding her father and James crying. She could smell burnt toast and the tea Rick had brought her, which was rapidly cooling on her bedside table, tasted faintly of washing-up liquid. It seemed like everything that could go wrong had gone wrong.
But Rick had told her to stay in bed and that under no circumstances was she to get up until the children had left for school. When she’d gone to the toilet first thing, she’d seen traces of blood, so she knew she had to listen, but there was less than yesterday.
She was also trying not to worry, because stressing wasn’t going to help.
About the baby and about Rick. He’d been so loving and attentive since he’d brought her home, and she was even wondering if she’d imagined the email. Had she dreamt it, perhaps? Or read things into it that weren’t really there? Was she being oversensitive?
She decided to push it from her mind and to focus on resting and enjoying the week with Rick. It wasn’t often that they had time alone together, without the children around, and it would be nice to have that quality time. Perhaps
this time alone would strengthen their relationship and prepare them for their new addition.
Footsteps on the stairs alerted her to an approaching child.
“Muu-uum!” It was James.
“Morning, angel.”
He ran at the bed and flung himself onto her just as Rick stormed into the room.
“James! Don’t run at your mum like that. Remember what we spoke about?”
James gently moved off Dawn and nodded, his cheeks blushing scarlet.
“You said we have to be good and gentle with Mummy because she’s not very well.”
“That’s right.”
“Oh James, I’m not ill but I do need to rest because I’m growing a baby.”
She didn’t want her son worrying about her being ill. A girl in his class at school had lost her mother to breast cancer the previous year and she’d seen the terror in James’s eyes when he’d heard about it. He was a worrier and she couldn’t bear to think about him wondering when he’d lose her.
“But you’ll be okay now?” he asked, his eyes wide.
“Yes, James, I’ll be okay.”
She opened her arms and he crawled up the bed to sit next to her, then carefully snuggled into her.
“Is he all right there?” Rick asked.
“Yes, he’s fine. Everything okay downstairs?”
Rick winked at her. “Running like clockwork.” Then he mock wiped his brow. “I have to be honest, I don’t know how you make it look so easy.”
“Do you need me to come down?”
“Absolutely not! You have a cuddle with James. I’ll go and—”
“Daddy, are you going to get us a new toaster?”
“What?” Dawn raised her eyebrows.
“Nothing to worry about. I just burnt a piece of toast then it got jammed in the toaster so I shook it and now it won’t work.”
Dawn suppressed laughter. “We needed a new one anyway.”
“We certainly do… now. Right, see you in a bit. James, make sure you let Mummy rest.”
Autumn at The Cosy Cottage Cafe: A heart-warming feel-good read about life, love, marriage and friendship Page 5
