“If you really like him, you should go.”
Her declaration took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting her to give me that advice. She seemed so weary about it.
“What do you know about it?”
She shrugged. “Not much, other than if you don’t go, there will be another girl there to take your place.”
That had been the warning the guy who’d given me the invitation at the frat house had said.
“It’s not like I’m his girlfriend,” I protested, not sure why.
“Well, your chances will only get worse. He’s going to be with someone. Either you or another girl. And what if he and another girl hit it off outside of him screwing her?”
The crude way she spoke made me wince.
“Just because I go doesn’t mean things will change for us.”
“No,” she admitted. “But you being there can lock him down from being with someone else.” She paused. “Look, I’m going to be honest and say that if you go, be ready to screw him because that’s what this is about.”
I thought about our first time, which he completely didn’t remember, a side effect of the date rape drug that had been intended for me. Though I didn’t blame him, more like hero-worshipped him for taking it to protect me, the idea that we could be together and he would remember enticed me.
There were so many more questions I had for Celeste, like how did she know? But if I was going, I had to get ready. It would take a good portion of time to tame my hair. My wild curls had gone mad from the short rain we’d had earlier that morning.
“Go shower and I’ll get my flat iron ready,” she said.
I did just that. While she worked, I tried to broach the subject of how she knew what went on at that party. She remained tight-lipped. I didn’t press because she was doing me a favor with my hair. I didn’t want to piss her off and have it half-done.
She studied her handiwork when she was done.
“He’s going to die when he sees you.”
I bit my bottom lip as a small smile grew on my face.
“You really think so?”
I hated the insecurity, but it was a very real thing.
“Willow, you’re gorgeous, even without makeup. Something I would kill for.”
She was being far too kind, but when I turned, the girl in the mirror was someone I’d only wished I could be. I wasn’t a model, but I did feel pretty.
I turned and hugged my sister. I had a love-hate relationship with her. In this moment, I loved her very much.
“Thank you,” I said.
Celeste offered me a dress that was more her style. It would cling to every curve and imperfection, which wasn’t the reason why I turned her down. Tonight was about Ashton seeing me for me. Yes, it was some sort of sex party, according to Celeste, but we didn’t know for sure. He’d said he liked me. So tonight, I would be me.
When I walked out of my room five minutes later, Celeste nodded in approval.
“It’s good,” she said.
The sundress Mom had bought me last summer played to my body type. It was loose, but not overly so. It hinted to my shape, but wasn’t like cling wrap.
“Do you want a ride?”
I almost said I would drive when I remembered alcohol would likely be involved. Though I was sure I wouldn’t drink anything after last time, never say never. Ashton would be there, and I trusted he would take care of me. He’d proven that over and over again. I took Celeste up on her offer to drive.
She looked like a proud parent when she dropped me off, and I thought of Mom. I doubted she’d be proud knowing what I was about to do.
The frat house didn’t look as imposing as it had other nights. Without the muffled music and steady stream of people entering or exiting, it looked like any other mini mansion on that particular street.
Per the invitation, I was required to enter a side entrance. A tall woman with a thick accent was waiting by the door.
“Invitation?” she asked.
I handed it over, trying to place her origins. She didn’t sound Southern let alone American.
“Put this on.” She handed me a blindfold and didn’t give the invitation back.
Maybe this was how they kept things so secret. I hadn’t thought to take a picture of it. Then again, did I really need a souvenir of tonight’s events?
I settled the silky mask over my sleek hair and let the darkness take me. This was beyond anything I’d done before. The trust I was giving on the pretense that Ashton would be here only confirmed how far my crush had gone. What if he wasn’t here? What if the guy had lied?
My heart kicked up as I was led down with a firm hand on my shoulder. That was strange. Basements weren’t a common thing in Oklahoma. Something about the soil or water table prevented such a thing from being added to almost all houses or businesses. Clearly, money ruled all because I was most definitely headed down. The air got cooler with each step.
The space was large as we took several turns. I wasn’t sure I could find my way back in an emergency.
Though I couldn’t see, I knew instantly when I was herded into a room with others. My blindfold was removed, and the same tall, imposing woman with a short crop of bleach blonde spiky hair stepped in my line of vision, blocking my view of the room full of other women. They weren’t college students.
“Take off your clothes and put on this.”
Russian. Yes, she sounded Russian.
I took the hooded gown thing she handed me, unsure what I’d do next. The women around me were in various stages of undress, uncaring if anyone saw them. As much as I wanted to be brave, insecurity and fear of the unknown took hold.
“You don’t undress, you go,” the woman directed, pointing toward the hallway.
“Just do it,” a whispered voice said behind me.
I tried to turn, but the herculean woman glared at me. I bobbed my head, figuring I could still back out.
When I turned to face the other woman who’d spoken, she was naked. I quickly shifted my gaze away.
“It’s okay. I’m used to it.” Her accent was fainter than the woman in charge. “It’s not so bad. Most of the guys are very good-looking.”
She spoke like it was a job, and maybe it was. I opened my mouth, then clamped it shut. If I said anything, she would know I wasn’t with them. I wasn’t sure if she’d stop giving me advice.
“There are worse things than fucking some rich boy,” she added.
Her smile was faint and looked forced. I nodded. From the murmured conversations, everyone had an accent except me.
She put on the robe, leaving me to make up my mind. Should I stay, or should I go? These women were probably professionals. The likelihood of Ashton hooking up with one and making her his girlfriend was slim.
An honest-to-goodness growl formed in the back of my throat. Reasonable or not, the idea of anyone else touching him irritated me.
He wasn’t my boyfriend, but maybe Celeste was right. If I had a chance in hell at making him mine, it was now.
A fear spiked in my gut, but I slowly took off my dress, leaving my undergarments on. I put on the sheer robe over my head and took off my bra and panties as if no one could see. Then I curled my arms around my middle and shrank into the shadows.
“It won’t be long. And most don’t take much to get off,” my new friend said.
We laughed softly, me more out of nerves. There were still a lot of unanswered questions. I told myself to be brave and fearless. This was America. I could still say no and walk away.
The large Viking-like woman walked back in. “Time.”
I wasn’t the first to step forward, but when I moved, her arm lifted and a finger pointed at me. “You stay,” she ordered.
The one woman who’d given me advice gave me a sympathetic smile before filing out with the rest. Though it was my second dose of pity that day, I wasn’t mad at her.
I hung back in the small locker room-like area, really seeing it for the first time. A large noise I
recognized as a voice piped through a microphone filtered into the space where I stood. Though I could hear it, I couldn’t make out individual words.
Since I was alone, it would be so easy to get dressed and leave. But Ashton’s face popped in my head. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I had a feeling he would prefer me over a stranger. That wasn’t conceit, far from it. It had been the look in his eyes after kissing me like he’d surprised himself.
I had no idea how long I waited, but just as I started to talk myself out of staying, the large woman returned.
“You. Come,” she ordered.
You never know what you are capable of until you do something you never thought you could do. The first step was the hardest. After that, every step got easier.
The dimly lit corridor we traversed gave nothing away other than we weren’t walking straight. The curved walkway held nothing on the walls. Nothing but closed doors on the left. We stopped in front of one.
When it opened, one of the women from the locker room stepped into the hall. She nodded at the leader, who then pointed at the open doorway.
A man in a dark robe lay flat on the bed. Just as I noticed he was bound there, the woman shoved me into the room with no directions. She must have assumed I would know what to do.
When the door clicked shut, I jumped.
“Who’s there?”
His prone form hadn’t given away who he was, but his voice did.
I opened my mouth, but a voice from a speaker beat me to saying something.
“Tell her what you want.”
After a quick look above in search of the hidden camera, my gaze quickly came back to him to search for any cues as to his feelings about being here. I watched his body visibly relax. Troubling though was he didn’t speak right way.
“Are you there?” he asked after a few long seconds. “Say something.”
If I spoke, would he ask me to leave?
“I’m here,” I whispered.
His head shifted in my direction, but he was as blindfolded as I’d been. I inched forward, my fingertips itched to touch him.
“Is it your choice to be here?” he asked.
“Yes.” The word was nothing more than an exhale of breath.
His arm shifted, and I noticed he wasn’t completely bound. As his hand made its way to his blindfold, I moved to stop him. I practically had to straddle him to press his wrist back to the bed. I didn’t know what came over me. But I didn’t want him to see me yet.
I pressed my lips to his. Though my torso hovered over him, my center had landed right on his cock.
“Willow?”
Stunned for a second, I almost answered. Instead, I swept my tongue over his. He kissed me back, turning my insides on fire. He hardened beneath me, groaning in my mouth.
“Willow?” he asked a second time.
The last time he’d thoroughly taken care of me. It was my turn to repay the favor. I crawled down his torso, pulling up fistfuls of fabric as I moved. I desperately wanted to see him.
Then it was there in all its glory, long and thick. I marveled how it could have been inside me. Yet, my mouth watered. Something about this man made me want to try things I’d never done before.
I’d let go of his wrist in favor of wrapping my hand around him. Before I could, his hand snaked out and took mine. He threaded his fingers with mine as I stared at him. Though he’d said my name, did he really know who I was?
I brushed aside that insecurity, letting his actions give me more courage to settle myself between his legs. Then I used my other hand to hold his dick up. I wrapped my lips around the crown and attempted to suck more of him down. He shuddered, his hand tightening in mine. I took both as a good sign.
Things ended before they really got started. He tugged my hand so his cock popped free of my mouth. He pulled me forward until I landed in the same position I’d started out in. Then the blindfold was gone and we stared at each other for a long second before he cupped the back of my head, drawing me to him. We were kissing again, this time deeper and harder as his dick pressed between my thighs.
I panted when we broke apart.
“You want this?” he asked.
In answer, I sat up, resting more firmly on his hardness. Then I tugged the robe off me in one fluid motion.
His eyes bounced between my gaze and my breasts. He reached out with utter reverence, palming one and stroking the pad of his thumb over one beaded nipple. His touch lit a flame the moisture between my legs tried to put out. I dropped my head back, enjoying all the sensations created.
Too soon, his hand glided down my side and took ahold of my hip where his fingers dug in. The firm way he held me might have been bruising, but all I felt was his intense need for me.
He ground his hips, rubbing his cock where I needed him most.
On instinct, I lifted. His desire matched mine as I raised his dick to stand so I could impale myself on him. He stretched me to the point of pain. That didn’t stop me from riding up and down his length slow and steady at first.
He helped by taking control and guiding me in a pace that suited us both. His thumb somehow made contact with my nub and I cried out, unable to stop myself. My breathing became ragged as I clenched around him, feeling that pressure building to a feverish pitch.
“Fuck,” he cried out as I came with the force of a rocket.
Then it was all him, thrusting up and losing pace as I continued to spasm around him. Then he lost it. His head craned back, the veins in his neck bulging as he found his release. I collapsed on top of him, unable to think.
His hand landed on my back seconds later as if he hadn’t been sure he wanted to touch me. That was my first clue that like Cinderella my magical night was coming to an end.
“Did I hurt you?”
Still trying to catch my breath, I shook my head in the crook of his neck. I felt him softening inside me, and weirdly I didn’t want him to pull out yet.
I rested my hand on his chest as if I could touch his heart like he had mine. But reality came crashing in like a tidal wave.
“Are you on the pill?” he asked.
It wasn’t exactly the conversation I’d wanted to have, but as I thought about it, a practical one. Had I really just had sex with a guy I barely knew without protection again?
“No.” I was back to speaking in hushed tones.
“I can give you the money for the morning after pill.”
I shifted to stare at him wide-eyed. It wasn’t as if I wanted a kid. But we’d just had sex. I didn’t expect him to profess his undying love. Yet, I yearned for something more than a clinical conversation about the ramifications of what we’d just done. I felt tears build in my eyes.
“It’s okay. I think I can manage,” I said before moving off him so fast you’d thought we were on fire.
I grabbed the garment I’d worn in the room, putting it on in such a hurry, my hair no doubt stood on end. Then I was out the door quicker than he could call my name. Embarrassment fueled every step until I found the locker room, which was open. Otherwise, I might have been running in circles for days.
I got my clothes on and ran into the woman in charge of this weird sex party.
“Done?”
I nodded. She reached over, took an envelope, and handed it to me. I almost gave it back, knowing full well I wouldn’t be attending another party. Instead, I let her blindfold me and lead me out.
Once I was outside, she unmasked me and then disappeared behind the closing door. Before leaving, I peeked inside the innocuous envelope and found cash, leaving me to feel cheaper than the McDonald’s dollar menu.
32
Ashton
* * *
What had I said?
She’d run like a scared rabbit, leaving me to scrub a hand down my face before trying to get up to go after her. I’d really screwed up. My legs and arm tugged against the bounds, reminding me that I was secured to the bed like a prisoner. Though I worked fast to free myself, when I entered the hall,
Willow was nowhere to be found.
For the first time, I felt one step closer to something I’d been searching for all my life. Me. She’d given me that gift even when Sawyer hadn’t been able to.
In absence of her returning my messages, I’d gone to our spot many times hoping to find her. She’d never come. I’d resorted to scoping out the building where I knew she had classes when I had a chance, and still no sighting.
Even at football games when the crowds packed the stadium, I imagined her there somewhere. Though what would I say? The last time I’d royally screwed up.
“Westborough.”
I snapped my head up and saw everyone in the huddle staring at me. I nodded. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’d heard the play. Sawyer clapped his hand, we got into position, and he counted off before the ball was hiked into his hand.
He shovel passed the ball to me. Having spent my entire life avoiding being touched, I was uniquely suited to dodge and slip through walls of muscle on the field. I found the small holes and pockets and ran like hell when I saw freedom ahead of me. You’d think my life depended on it when I hustled as the crowd cheered.
All of the noise around me quieted as I focused on the end zone ahead of me. I should have remained focused, but a vision of Willow above me filled that silent space. The bliss on her face as she’d come broke through the drugged haze of memory and dream that long ago night. I’d seen her face like that before. The other night hadn’t been the first time we’d been together.
My steps stuttered before they were out from underneath me. As I face-planted into the turf, I’d had the presence of mind to secure the ball beneath me. Bodies fell on top of me. The opposing team didn’t just try to get the ball from me, their blows were meant to harm. Punching to my side and face almost had me blacking out. By the time I was excavated from the bottom, my ears were ringing.
Sawyer shouted, but I couldn’t make out the words. He held out two fingers in front of my face. I held up my middle one. He grinned, but there was relief on his face. For the first time in all the time I’d known him, hope for something that could never be didn’t spark inside me. I gave him a small smile and followed him back to the huddle.
Craving Dragonflies Page 16
