‘You told me you never lied to me?’
‘I never have.’
‘Well, then why did you ask me to be yours? You begged me when you were lying on the ground after we landed. When I thought you were going to die,’ Eva said and Julian could see she was holding back tears.
‘Maybe it was the pain talking,’ he suggested.
‘No. It was you. You meant it. I could see it in you. You wanted us to be together. I’m not going to believe you’ve changed your mind suddenly. I don’t want to argue but something has happened. Julian, just tell me. Whatever it is, we can work it out.’
‘We can’t.’ Julian leaned back against the bed. His body was growing too heavy to hold up.
‘We can. I promise.’
‘You should never make promises you can’t keep, Eva.’
‘But I love you. Isn’t that enough?’
‘It’s more than enough. And it’s more than I deserve. I love you, too. So, so much. But this is a done deal, Eva. We can’t be together. I’m so sorry. I hope you believe that.’
Large, fat salty tears ran down Eva’s face. ‘I’m so confused. It’s like what you say and what you do are always contradicting themselves. When you touch me, I can feel how much you love me. But then you say such cold stuff and you push me to the side, like a business deal that’s gone wrong. Why are you doing this to me?
‘I’m not doing this, baby. It’s out of my control.’
Julian wanted her close to him, but she kept her distance. He hated how much this was hurting her.
‘Nothing is ever out of your control, Julian. You don’t let it.’
Julian reached for her. Grabbing both her hands in his, he pulled her chest as close to him as was physically possible. She was shaking like a feather drifting in the breeze. He buried his face in her neck, nuzzling close. ‘Fuck, baby. I wish that was true. But everyone loses at some point. It’s my turn.’
‘Do you really want me to leave?’ Eva sobbed.
‘No. I want to keep you. I want to bury myself in you and pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. But I’m no good for you. I’ll only drag you down now. And you’ve already been through hell. You deserve the best. And that’s not something I can give you.’
‘I think I have a right to decide what’s good for me and what’s not. You’re good for me, Julian. You’re so good for me.’
‘You don’t get a say in this, Eva.’
‘Why the hell not?’
‘Because it’s not something I can fix this time,’ Julian shouted, infused with frustration.
‘Is that what this is all about? You losing control?’ Eva shouted back, clearly just as charged.
‘Yes.’
‘Then let me take control. I can lead with all the relationship stuff that you’re scared of.’
‘I’m not scared of being in a relationship with you, Eva.’ Julian’s whole body softened, as he resigned himself to what lay ahead.
‘Well, you’re doing a good impersonation of a chicken.’
‘That’s because I am scared. I’m scared of not being with you.’
‘Then let me in, goddammit.’
Julian’s lips were on hers before she finished the words in her mouth. Her taste, her smell, the warmth of her wet lips, her everything; he wanted every piece of her, and he couldn’t get enough. She was more intoxicating than any drug they’d pumped into his veins over the last few days. She was the only drug he needed. She was his cure.
Julian scooped his hand around her waist; his other hand slowly crept up her spine until his fingers found their way to the back of her neck, caressing it softly. His thumb stroked an invisible line from just below her ear, down her slender neck all the way to the tip of her shoulder and back up. She tilted her neck in response, exhaling softly. It was a beautiful sound and it told him that she was just as addicted to him as he was to her.
Julian’s tongue explored her mouth, kissing her passionately for the first time since New York. Her coffee and cinnamon flavoured lips were delicious and the warm softness of her tongue around his had him aching to come already. His cock throbbed hard and he needed to feel her wet pussy around him. A deep groan sounded in the back of his throat as she tilted her hips towards him, stroking her pubic bone against his granite erection.
She dropped to her knees between his legs and caught a fist full of the bottom of his hospital robe. She reached her hand up his chest, still clutching the robe, pushing it out of the way. She gasped as she revealed how much he wanted her. She slid her other hand between his legs, cupping his balls in her warm palm. Julian twisted his arms behind his back, grabbing onto the edge of the bed for support. Eva’s tongue traced circles around the tip of his cock and his knees were buckling from the pleasure. Her mouth opened a fraction more and she slurped his rigid length all the way to the back of her throat. Julian groaned deeply, the exquisite combination of softness and warmth made him want to release and spray his cum into her mouth. Keeping one hand behind him holding the bed, he reached for her hair with the other. He knotted his fingers through her silky, brown strands, his hand pumping back and forth as her mouth bobbed up and down on him, tipping him closer and closer to the edge. His breath quickened and the trembling in his knees grew stronger.
‘Stop,’ he said, panting.
Eva did as she was told. She stood up, drying her lips as she wiped a finger across them.
Damn, she was so sexy and she wasn’t even trying. It only made him want her more.
‘Lie down,’ he said tilting his head towards the bed.
Eva pulled a face and shook her head.
‘Okay.’ Julian unbuttoned her jeans. ‘We can do this standing up.’ He pulled her knickers and jeans down to her ankles before she had time to protest and he laughed as she gasped in shock. Her cheeks reddening as her eyes darted around the room.
He lowered himself onto his hunkers, yielding a little to the stinging in his side. Eva was at his level in an instant, her arms around him, ready to help him back up. Her shocked glow replaced with a worried, half-smile.
Julian slid two fingers under her chin and tilted her head back until her eyes met his. ‘You won’t hurt me, baby. I promise. Now, stand back up.’
Eva didn’t say a word. She kissed his forehead and then stood up in front of him, her pussy level with his mouth. He pushed his thumbs between her knees and slid his hands up her thigh until he could feel her warm and wet. He gently parted her and exhaled slowly as he stared at her beautiful clit, just waiting for him to touch it. His tongue circled her. Her delicate piercing was a cool contrast to the warmth of her skin. The feel of smooth, round metal mixed with the taste of her wet in his mouth and drove his cock crazy. He flicked her from back to front, just how he knew she liked it, and slipped two fingers inside her, curling them to the front until he found her spot. A little more pressure and she was there, bucking on his hand, her clit pulsing in his mouth and her wet streaming like silky rain against his lips.
He waited until she came down from her orgasm before he stood up and kissed her. She winced, tasting her wet from his mouth. She always made the same face when she tasted herself on him. It was cute, and he loved it. He needed to remember that look.
Julian spun her around and bent her over the bed. Pausing for a moment to enjoy her perky ass cocked in the air waiting for him. He watched her body pant and heave in the aftermath of the pleasure he’d given her. He ran his tongue down her spine and she shivered. This was the last time his lips would ever touch her skin; he needed to remember what perfect tasted like. This was their goodbye and he couldn’t think of a more perfect way to say it. He pushed inside her without a word and she whimpered as she pushed back against him, sucking him in deep. Julian fanned his fingers against her hips, gripping her tightly and pumping her up and down until he couldn’t hold it anymore. He called her name as a powerful release tremored through his whole body. ‘I love you, Eva. I need you to always know that. I love you so much.’
Chapter 12
One week later
Loud, hard knocks shook the door insistently.
‘Go away, Shelly,’ Eva said knowing who was on the other side of the hotel room door without needing to check. Anyone else would have given up twenty minutes ago.
The knocking stopped for a moment and Eva stayed very still and craned her neck. She didn’t even notice that she was holding her breath.
‘I’m not leaving. I can stay knocking all night if I have to…’ Shelly shouted back. ‘Let me in.’
Eva sighed.
‘Let me in, Eva. Please? I’m worried about you.’
Eva turned off the television. She’d been staring through it, not at it, anyway. She stood up and ran her hands through her hair, her fingers catching in clumps and knots halfway down. Dammit, Shelly.
Eva opened the door and an automatic hello gurgled around somewhere in the back of her throat. She left the door ajar and walked back to sit on the edge of the bed, closing her eyes as she heard the door close. Shelly was following, and Eva would be face to face with her best friend in a matter of seconds. Shelly was one of the last people Eva wanted to see. Well, she didn’t want to see anyone, but someone who cared about her made trying not to fall apart almost impossible.
Shelly pushed some messy blankets and an empty box of tissues to the side and made some space beside Eva to sit down. Eva waited for Shelly’s bubbly voice to fill the air, but they sat in silence. Shelly was obviously waiting for Eva to say something, but there really was nothing to say.
‘Have you eaten?’ Shelly said eventually.
Eva tossed her head towards the nearby dressing table. The answer was scattered on top in empty pizza boxes.
‘Oh God, Eva. This isn’t you.’ Shelly stood up. ‘Look at the state of this place. You can’t stay locked away in here. You’re not even answering the door to housekeeping – obviously.’
Eva glanced around. The hotel room had passed messy about three days ago and was heading towards completely disgusting. Sniffled-on tissues were balled up on the bed like snowballs. Coffee cup rings stained the bedside table looking like a dodgy homemade Ouija board. The windows badly needed opening to clear the smell of nights and nights of takeaway lingering in the air. Eva should probably have felt embarrassed, but she didn’t have any room left for another emotion on top of everything she was already feeling.
‘Have you heard anything?’ Shelly asked, edging a little closer to Eva until they were side-by-side.
Eva shook her head. ‘His phone goes straight to voicemail.’
‘Have you left a message?’
‘And say what?’
‘Eh, start with where are you?’
‘Julian made it very clear that we’re not together, Shelly. Technically, I have no right to ask.’
‘That’s shite. Technically, you’ve more right to ask than anyone. He’s the whole reason you’re even in the country. You have a right to be pissed off.’
‘I’m not pissed off. I’m just worried. I know something is going on. I’m scared of what it is.’
‘I love Julian. You know I do. But I think right now he’s being a coward,’ Shelly groaned.
‘Shelly, if you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working. Julian risked his life to save mine. And Nathan’s. Remember? I think a coward is the last thing he is.’ Even now, Eva couldn’t help but defend Julian. It was like a natural instinct. She was so mad at him, but that emotion was reserved just for her; she didn’t appreciate Shelly talking trash about him.
‘Sorry, Eva. Jesus, I always say the wrong thing. I just want you to know that I’m on your side.’
‘Shell, there are no sides. I know you’re still worried about the shit Nathan dug up from Julian’s past. But right now, I couldn’t care less about what happened years ago.’
‘Eva, I get that. I totally understand,’ Shelly placated.
Eva doubted Shelly meant to sound patronising, but it was tiresome nonetheless.
‘I tried visiting his house in Ballsbridge, but security stopped me at the gate like some criminal,’ Eva said, trying to hide her growing frustration.
‘Ah, come on. They must have recognised you,’ Shelly questioned, unimpressed.
‘They did. Yeah. That’s exactly why they stopped me. Mia must have told them that I’m some crazy stalker or something. I don’t even know if Julian is there or not.’
Shelly put her arms around Eva and hugged her tight. ‘Okay, two things. First, Mia is a super bitch so I’m not surprised that she’s pulling some shite like this. Second, someone has to know where he is. Have you tried Mrs. Cartwright again? Or Anthony.’
Eva broke away from Shelly, her voice as jumpy as her body. ‘I’ve tried calling lots of times. Anne is just as worried as I am. She hasn’t heard anything at all. She’s at the mansion in the country, but he hasn’t been there. I think she’s afraid to leave in case he turns up while she’s gone. And Anthony isn’t picking up his phone. And the hospital won’t divulge any information to anyone who isn’t family. But I think that’s just them covering their asses. He disappeared from the hospital as soon as I left, and the hospital is just as clueless about where he went as the rest of us.’
Shelly sighed. ‘So, do you think Mia knows?’
‘Maybe. But I’m the last person she’s going to talk to.’
‘Did you decide about phoning the police?’
‘Shelly, Julian isn’t a missing person. He’s a hiding person. There’s a big difference. I just don’t understand what he’s hiding from. Running away isn’t his style. He’s acting like someone who’s scared, and I know Julian Harte isn’t scared of anything.’
‘Do you think it’s something to do with Mia and his kid? Maybe now that you know about them, it’s too messy and he’s getting cold feet.’
‘No, it has nothing to do with that. We talked about it all.’
‘You did?’
‘Yes, Shelly,’ Eva snapped, not meaning to. It was the situation and not Shelly that was frustrating her.
‘It’s something bad. I can feel it.’ Eva sighed. ‘Whatever it is; he thinks this is how to protect me.’
‘Eva, I don’t know…it seems like a strange way to protect someone.’
‘Everything Julian does seems like a strange way, but he always had good reason,’ Eva defended.
‘Maybe this time is different. He broke your heart. And maybe he’s just laying low for a while?’
‘And not contacting the office or his housekeeper. Not returning home? That’s not laying low, that’s disappearing. Maybe it has something to do with the Da Lucas. Maybe they’re after him and he wants distance between us so I’m safe.’
‘The Da Lucas are locked up. The story is dominating US news. They have the whole family because Mickey crumpled like a baby when they questioned him. You’ve seen the coverage. You know that. The Da Lucas are never going to hurt you again. Julian made sure of that,’ Shelly said.
‘Well, I don’t fucking know why he’s gone, do I? But he’s not gone running off like a fucking twelve-year-old who’s kissed a girl and now doesn’t know what to say to her,’ Eva snapped.
Shelly was driving Eva crazy. One minute she was defending Julian, the next she was calling him a runaway coward. Eva really wished that if Shelly didn’t know what to say that she would say nothing at all. It was hard enough to get her head straight; Shelly talking shit in her ear was making it even harder.
‘Eva. I’m sorry. I know this sucks for you. I just don’t know what to say.’
Eva’s body language was apologetic, but she didn’t actually say the word sorry out loud. ‘There’s nothing to say. Yeah, it sucks for me. But it sucks for him even more. Whatever it is, it’s so bad that he thinks the only way he can protect me is by leaving me.’
‘Maybe he’s doing it to force you to go back to New Jersey?’
‘That’s not going to happen. I’ve made that clear. I’m staying in Dublin. I never should have left in the first place.
’
Shelly’s whole face brightened, but Eva didn’t acknowledge it. Now was not the time for a happy dance.
‘Can I show you something?’ Shelly asked, rooting in her bag.
‘Yeah, okay,’ Eva said, hoping she didn’t sound as uninterested as she felt.
Shelly pulled out a folded newspaper article, and Eva reached for it reluctantly. She unfolded it and read the bold, black font across the top of the page. ‘The National Informer. Nathan’s paper,’ Eva snarled. ‘Is this his article?’
Shelly nodded.
Eva refolded the paper and passed it back to Shelly. ‘I don’t want to know.’
Shelly stood up and threw her hands in the air, refusing to take back the page. The paper tumbled to the ground between the two of them. ‘Trust me, Eva. You want to read this.’
Eva’s expression soured. ‘Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You two are back together, aren’t you?’
Shelly smiled brightly. ‘Yeah. Little bit. Now, will you please trust me? Just read it, Eva.’
‘Oh, Shelly. What are you doing?’
‘I know, I know. But I love him, Eva. I can’t walk away. Tell me you wouldn’t do the same if you were me?’
‘I wouldn’t do the same?’
‘Really? But here you are obsessing over the biggest player of all time.’
Bile burned in the back of Eva’s throat and she hated Shelly a little bit at that moment. Partially because Shelly had made a good point, but mainly, because that point was misguided and Eva was the only person who understood that.
Eva bent forward and picked up the paper. A mix of last night’s pizza and too much wine swirled around her stomach and her body objected to leaning forward. She stood up, hoping she wouldn’t be sick all over the hotel carpet.
‘Billionaire Businessman Julian Harte acquires numerous properties in West Cork and County Clare with the intention of expanding his technologies company to a staff of over seven thousand in Ireland, growing Ignite Technologies into the biggest company in the country,’ Eva read the first line out loud, becoming silent as she scanned the rest of the article. It was all facts and figures and a mention of some of the charities Julian donated to. There was nothing of substance in it and certainly nothing personal.
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