by Janette Oke
“There’ll be plenty of time” was all she said.
Clark nodded and held the door for her.
All the way home, Marty’s head spun. Her family knew she had been to the doctor today and were worried there might be something seriously wrong. They would need to know. She couldn’t possibly continue to let them worry when nothing at all was “wrong” with her. It just wouldn’t be fair. They would need to know the truth. Marty thought of asking to go to her room to lie down and letting Clark share the preposterous news. That really wasn’t fair, she knew, and was the cowardly way out. Oh, how she dreaded it! How did one say it? What did you tell fully grown children? It used to be so easy. One gathered the little ones around and informed them joyfully, “We’re gonna git ya a new baby. Only God knows whether it will be a new brother or a sister.” And there was great rejoicing, and they would take sides as to who wanted it to be what. It was sort of like casting votes. On the day of the actual arrival, there were always winners and losers—but that was soon forgotten in the excitement of the new baby. After the initial announcement and a viewing of the new little one, everyone realized God had sent just what each one had really wanted.
Only this time, thought Marty, we don’t all want this baby. Maybe nobody really does. Oh, I know Clark will accept the new arrival all right, but is this what he really wants? Will the family really want a new baby? I know I don’t. Not really.
Marty was ashamed at the direction of her thoughts. But it was true. She hadn’t planned on this baby. As much as she had enjoyed raising their family, she didn’t want to start all over again with night feedings and diapers and round-the-clock care of a little one. It would not be happening had the choice been hers.
She pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on the lazily drifting clouds overhead. It looked as though they might get a bit more rain. Well, she supposed they could use it. It seemed they never really got too much.
They passed the Grahams’ again, and Marty was glad Ma was no longer in her yard. Somehow she felt that even in driving by and waving, her secret would be revealed. Oh, what will Ma think? And then Marty remembered that Ma had been her age when her last child was born.
But that was different, she argued with herself. There wasn’t a big gap between children, and she didn’t have a whole passel of grandchildren by then, either.
Marty’s inner self quickly countered, No, and you don’t have a grandchild yet from any of the family you have actually given birth to. Nandry and Clae are both Tina’s girls, and Missie is Ellen’s girl. True enough now, though, you seem to be running a race with your firstborn son.
In spite of herself, Marty smiled at the humor of it. It was rather funny. Why, she and Clare’s Kate could well be confined at the same time. Imagine a child sharing a birthday with an aunt or uncle! She was sure there would be plenty of teasing ahead for both the little ones.
All too soon Clark was pulling the team up before the house and hopping down to help Marty. She dreaded it. Would they all storm her with questions the minute she entered the kitchen? She turned to go up the walk alone, but Clark was at her side.
Ellie met them at the door. Her eyes held her questions. She looked right past Marty and sought the eyes of her father.
Clark responded. “Ma’s fine,” he said with satisfaction, and the look of fear left Ellie’s face, though Marty could sense that questions still remained.
Marty was surprised that Clark let it go at that, and she went on up to her room and changed into her housedress. Supper was almost ready.
It wasn’t until the next morning at family worship that Clark brought up the subject. He had read a portion on the rich promises of God and the thankful response that His children should feel toward His loving-kindness. Each member of the family was invited to share something for which they were especially thankful. Clark stated that he was thankful for each family member that God, in His wisdom and love, had sent into the home, and then he led the family in prayer. After the prayer, he motioned for the little group to remain seated.
“When ya were all little an’ we had a special announcement to make, we used to gather ya round us like this and share it together. Now, Luke here has never gotten in on any of those special announcements. Well, we are ’bout to correct thet. Lukey,” he said, using the pet name of years gone by, “yer ma an’ me got somethin’ to tell ya. All of ya.” Clark stopped to look around the circle. “We’re missin’ some of the family to be sure, but fer those of us here together, we want ya to know thet yer ma an’ me are gonna git ya a new baby. Boy or girl, we not be knowin’, but …”
Three pairs of eyes turned in unison to look questioningly at Marty. She felt herself squirm under the intensity of it. Arnie was the first to catch his breath. He gave a whoop and leaped from his chair. Luke was next. “Finally!” was what he shouted. “Finally I git my turn.”
Marty couldn’t believe her ears. She turned from her grown sons to Ellie, but she was crying. Oh no, did it really bother Ellie that much?
Marty moved toward her in concern, but Ellie met her halfway. “Oh, Mama,” she wept, “I was so scared. So scared.” And then she began to laugh through her sobs. “An’ it’s just a baby! ’Magine thet. A baby.” Then she turned to her brothers. “I hope it’s a girl,” she stated emphatically.
“A boy!” they shouted in unison.
“A girl,” insisted Ellie. “We already got more boys than girls.”
“Thet don’t matter,” said Luke. “I still don’t have a baby brother.”
Clark held up his hand as a signal for silence. “Hold it,” he said into the commotion. “Hold it. What it will be is already determined, an’ no ’mount of yellin’ on yer part is gonna change it none. I suggest we just wait an’ see.”
Marty looked around at her incredible family. They didn’t seem to mind. They didn’t seem to mind one bit. Of course, Arnie had always loved babies, and Ellie had always shown a tendency toward mothering. Luke maintained that he didn’t get the fair end of things in not being a big brother to someone.
Marty shook her head. She might as well have purchased the materials for the making of the little garments. With a family like she had, there would be no peace until everything was prepared for the little one who was to bless their home.
SEVEN
Planning
Marty and Ellie had been invited over to Kate’s for morning coffee. Marty was glad Kate was now feeling well enough to again think of serving them at a midmorning break. As yet, Marty still had no desire to eat until later in the day. She didn’t say that to Kate, though. But when Kate began pouring the coffee and cutting the coffee cake, Marty asked for only a part of a cup and then generously poured cream in the cup to soften the bitter taste. Even then she was only able to sip at it. She passed up the dessert, as well. She was glad the girls did not press her.
Kate enthused about her coming baby. She seemed to expect Marty to be every bit as excited about her pregnancy as she was herself. Marty tried to show some enthusiasm. She hoped it came through as sincere. She was able to share in the joy that Kate’s face held as she showed them garment after garment she had stitched.
“Clare insists it will be a boy,” she laughed. “But I told him it could just as well be a girl.”
“Men!” said Ellie. “They scare ya half to death with their knowledge of things to come! I’m glad when it finally does arrive, they are just as pleased with one as the other.”
Marty wondered momentarily where Ellie got all her understanding of the subject. Well, she certainly had lived in a community—and a family—where there were lots of babies.
Kate showed them the nursery room, wallpapered in light green. The fluffy curtains at the windows were white, as was the painted trim. The yet-unfinished crib was quickly taking shape at the hands of Clare, who spent every available minute working on it. Kate herself was now sewing a crib quilt. To match the wallpaper, it was in a pale green calico print.
“Clare tried to talk me into
blue,” she laughed, “but I said I was gonna play it safe.”
A small chest stood against the wall. As Kate opened the drawers, Marty saw many more already-completed baby items.
My, thought Marty, it is still many months away. Whatever is she gonna do with all the extra time?
Kate seemed to read her thoughts.
“I know we’re gittin’ ready awfully early, but iffen I get the necessary things outta the way, I can spend the rest of the waitin’ time sewin’ some ’specially fancy things. I wanna knit up some sweaters, too, an’ I’m awfully slow at thet.”
“Mama,” said Ellie as they walked the short distance back to the big house, “are ya feelin’ up to a trip to town?”
“I guess so. Why?”
“I’m a thinkin’ it’s ’bout time we got busy on this baby of ours. We don’t want her comin’ ’fore we’re all ready.”
“Baby of ours?” Marty repeated the words under her breath. Yes, she supposed that was the way Ellie thought of it. It would belong to all of the family.
“There’s still plenty of time—” began Marty, but Ellie cut her short.
“Sure, there’s lots of time, but we want lots of things fer her. I want her to be the best-dressed baby thet ever—”
“Now, hold on,” laughed Marty. “She’ll be properly cared fer, fer sure, but we ain’t gonna go overboard. ’Sides, how any baby could ever have more’n thet little one of Kate an’ Clare’s is beyond my knowin’.”
“Aren’t they excited? Never seen a couple so eager fer a baby! Kate was an only child, ya know. She wanted a baby of her own from her weddin’ day on. She’ll make a good mother, too—I know she will.”
Marty agreed. Kate seemed to be cut out for motherhood. She rejoiced with everyone who had the joy of a baby. Even the announcement of Marty’s coming child had made her almost silly with happiness. Marty was glad. She didn’t want the fact that she was also expecting a baby to rob Kate of any of her own anticipation. It hadn’t. Kate seemed to bloom enough for them both.
“Well,” insisted Ellie, “can we go shoppin’?”
Marty still hedged. She hated going into town and looking for material for baby things. Everyone would know and whisper and … No, she just didn’t want to do that until there was simply no way of hiding it anymore.
“I’ll buy it iffen ya want me to,” Ellie offered.
“You?” Marty said, shocked. “Now why would I be wantin’ folks to think thet you had need of such things?”
“Pshaw,” responded Ellie. “It might be fer Kate, fer all they need to know. Or we might be sewin’ fer Missie or Clae—they’ve each had a baby recently. An’ anyway, Nandry might even—”
“Ya know somethin’ ’bout Nandry thet I don’t know?” asked Marty, half hoping she did. She wished with all of her heart that Nandry’s somber withdrawal could be traced to something as simple as a baby on the way—although having a baby had never seemed to bother Nandry any before.
“Nope,” said Ellie, “but somethin’s strange, don’t ya think?”
“Yeah,” replied Marty with a deep sigh. “I’ve noticed it, too. I was hopin’, though, thet I was imaginin’ it.”
“Yer not imaginin’ it,” Ellie responded. “It’s there, all right. I haven’t yet been able to figure out why, though. Iffen it were a baby …” Ellie let her thoughts hang in the air between them.
They reached the house, and Ellie continued around to the backyard to see if the wash on the line was dry. Marty went into the kitchen for a dry bread crust, in the hope that it might settle her queasy stomach. It didn’t seem to help, so she went on up to her room to lie down for a spell. She would be so thankful when this dreadful morning sickness had run its course. Why was she having problems with this child, when none of her others had ever bothered her in this way? Well, Kate seemed to be fine now. If she could just hang on, perhaps the day would come when she, too, would feel well again.
Fall had brought with it both blessings and sorrows. Marty did finally feel better. It was so good to actually be hungry again. With the satisfied hunger came added strength. Marty could help more around the house without feeling completely exhausted. It was Ellie now insisting along with Clark that she slow down and not try to tackle everything in a day.
Fall was also the time for Luke to leave. Marty dreaded it. She tried to push the thought of the approaching day to the back of her mind, but it persisted to nag at her.
Again and again she reminded herself that Luke was no longer her baby. He was a young man and well able to care for himself. She had a hard time convincing herself, and as she sewed new shirts or knit new socks for him to take with him, tears often fell upon her work.
Luke was excited about his coming adventure, and it seemed to Marty that he spent far more time with Doc Watkins poring over medical books than he spent at home with his family. The doc was quite convinced that Luke would be the star pupil among the doctors in training and made no bones about telling his eastern colleagues so. Luke was to get special attention as the older doctor’s protégé. Marty was glad there would be those who would be watching out for him, but it was still difficult to let him go.
She reminded herself often that Luke would be home with them again at Christmastime. Not only would it be Christmas and the family would be together, but it had been chosen as the time for Arnie’s wedding, as well, so Luke could be the best man. Clark had agreed to pay for his train ticket home. Marty was glad. She would be able to judge for herself if Luke was standing the pressure of the medical training, and if he wasn’t, then there surely would be some way to keep him at home.
She comforted herself with these thoughts as she worked the heel of the newly forming sock. She also faced again that it was only a matter of days until Luke and his belongings would board the stage to go meet the eastbound train.
One consolation for Marty was the fact that at the other end of the train trip, Joe and Clae and their family would be waiting. Although there was not room for Luke to be able to board with his eastern family, at least he would be able to visit them from time to time should he get lonely, Marty comforted herself. Luke had no such fears, and if Clark had, he did not voice them. He seemed to understand Marty’s feelings, though, and he was gentle and reassuring as he spoke often of the short time until Christmas would be upon them.
All of Arnie’s thoughts seemed to be taken with his Anne and the farm to which they would be moving following their wedding. The house that was located on the property needed repairing, and Arnie spent many hours with hammer in hand getting it ready. When other duties freed him, Clark, too, helped his son. On occasion, even Clare had some extra time that he used to help his brother with the task. The house soon began to shape up, and with it, Arnie’s impatience seemed to increase.
The hammers and saws had to be laid aside for the harvest. There was a good crop to be taken in, and Luke would be around for very little of the time. Clark did a fair share. He had rigged enough contraptions together to be able to operate almost any of the farm equipment with just his one leg. The boys marveled as they watched him. He could keep up with almost anyone they knew.
All too soon the day of Luke’s departure arrived. The whole family drove him into town to meet the stagecoach. Doc and his wife were there, too. Luke, near bursting with excitement, endured all kinds of good-natured teasing from his older brothers. The kind doctor had lots of last-minute advice. Marty wondered briefly if she even would get a turn at telling her son good-bye. Just before he was due to leave, he stepped over to her and hugged her close. Marty had to look up now, for her youngest was taller than she by a considerable amount.
“Ya take care, now,” Luke whispered for just the two of them. “I don’t want anythin’ to happen to thet baby brother.”
A sob caught in Marty’s throat. I’d gladly give up this baby if I could just keep you, she wanted to say. But she didn’t. Luke wouldn’t want to hear that kind of talk.
Instead she held him close and said moth
erly things about caring for his health and getting lots of rest. She also assured him that she would be counting the days until Christmas, and he promised in return that he would be doing the same. His luggage was tossed up onto the waiting stagecoach as the restless horses stamped and pulled on the bits. The driver called, and Marty knew she must let him go. She stepped back and attempted a smile, a rather lopsided one. Luke’s was broad in return. He let his hand touch her cheek, and then he wheeled and swung himself into the waiting stage. With a shout from the driver and a scattering of dust from the wheels, the coach jerked away. The horses were in a gallop before the driver had firmly settled himself. The lump stayed in Marty’s throat, but she refused to allow herself to cry. There would be plenty of time for that later.
Why was life so full of good-byes? She looked over at Arnie. He would be the next one. And he was even more excited about the prospect than Luke had been. Why were they always in such a hurry to leave home?
Before Marty’s thoughts could continue in this direction, Ellie was taking her arm and moving her down the street.
“Now you an’ me are gonna do some shoppin’,” she was saying, “an’ I’m not gonna be put off any longer.”
Marty nodded numbly. It was time. With Luke gone, she would need some kind of sewing to keep her hands busy. Besides, she was beginning to show—just a bit. She supposed that if people were going to talk, they would already be at it. She might as well settle their minds once and for all.
She allowed Ellie to lead her into the general store and over to the yard goods.
Little one, she apologized to the child she carried, if you’re really there—and I still have a hard time accepting the fact—you’ll have to forgive me some. I just can’t get excited about you—I didn’t plan for you, and— But Marty got no further, for a strange thing happened. With a suddenness that startled even her, the baby within answered with a fluttery movement. It was unmistakable, and with the movement came the clear knowledge that Marty did indeed carry within her another life. At that same instant, a love for the unborn child filled her being. Whoever this baby turned out to be, he or she was special, individual, and hers—hers and Clark’s. And even though she hadn’t planned it, the fact that this baby was growing, warm and safe, inside her body and would one day snuggle in her arms, impressed itself upon her.
