Undercover Agent

by Slade, Heather

  “Emme,” he said again, walking up to where I stood.

  I sat down on the stair, and when he sat beside me, I rested my head on his shoulder. “I feel like you’re hiding things from me.”

  When my dad took a deep breath and let it out slowly, he confirmed my suspicions.

  “There are things you don’t know about my time at the state department. Partially because you had no reason to, until now, and partially because most of it I wasn’t able to tell you.”

  I sat up straight and folded my arms. “I have a feeling I don’t want to know.”

  “I think you can piece it together.”

  “Who did you really work for?”

  My father sighed. “I was with State, but I also consulted with the NSA.”

  “On?”

  “Cryptography.”

  “His code name is Matrix,” said Lynx, who I hadn’t seen standing on the steps below us.

  When his eyes and my father’s met, I felt sick to my stomach. It was bad enough that I was learning something I’d never known about my dad in front of a man who was essentially a stranger to me—a stranger who had fucked me senseless just last night—but that Lynx knew more about him than I did, infuriated me all over again.

  I stood, walked down the stairs, and got right in his face. “How long have you known?”

  His eyes scrunched. Was he realizing how betrayed I felt? “Since yesterday,” he answered.

  “Why?”

  He cocked his head.

  “This is need-to-know. Why did you need to know?”

  “Let’s sit,” said my father, who now stood on the stair right above us.

  “How much of this did you know?” I asked my mother as I pulled out the chair next to her.

  “Leave your mother out of this,” my father warned.

  “Why? She’s seated at the table, is she not?”

  “Emerson.”

  I remembered when Lynx had said my name the same way my father just did. It freaked me out then and now.

  “I can speak for myself, Rick,” said my mother, resting her hand on my arm. “I knew who your father worked for and what he did. I knew none of the specifics. Even if I had, I doubt I would’ve understood any of it. It’s you and your father who have the genius-level IQs.”

  “May I?” Lynx asked my dad.

  “Go ahead.”

  He faced me, but I didn’t do the same.

  “Your father and I traveled to Washington today and had a meeting with the U.S. Ambassador to China.”

  “Buster?” my mother asked my father, who smiled and nodded.

  “The ambassador was able to confirm that Saint and Dr. Benjamin, along with two CIA operatives, were arrested in Hong Kong. We believe negotiations will soon begin, but what Beijing is likely to ask for, may be out of the realm of possibility.”

  “A swap,” I murmured. If there was anyone at this table who had a clear picture of China’s tactics, it was me. I lived and breathed it on a daily basis. I was one of the people—one of a handful—who disseminated highly classified information provided by organizations like State and the NSA, and mapped out strategy. With China, my primary objective was to head off their ability to seize the title of one true superpower from the United States. They were close, and it was my job to figure out how to stop it from happening.

  If it came to what Lynx was suggesting, there was no way we could negotiate with their demands. None. Doing so would go against everything the United States stood for. If the U.K. was asking us to, I’d be the first to recommend saying no. Yes, it meant losing four good men to a Chinese prison, or worse, but what would happen if we caved was exponentially more horrific.

  “I hope you’re right about your team being able to get Saint and Dr. Benjamin, along with the other two, out of China,” I mumbled.

  Lynx nodded. “I am.”

  19

  Lynx

  It was fascinating to watch Emerson process information. I’d seen the look on her face before when she questioned Irish and me about MI6’s and the CIA’s involvement at IPP. It was almost as though an alternate personality took over when she went into analytical mode. She was lightning quick and needed little explanation, spitting out questions faster than AI could generate algorithms.

  Pride shone brightly on her father’s face, and rightly so. His daughter was fucking brilliant.

  My reaction? My cock was rock hard. Never before had I wanted her as much as I did at this moment. Part of me wanted to toss her over my shoulder and carry her off to my lair, the other wanted to bow down at her feet and beg her attention.

  It had taken me far longer to come to the same conclusions she had, and I’d had it essentially spelled out for me. The only hope that Saint and Benjamin would make it out of China alive, was black ops.

  “What about Jinyan?” I asked Emerson’s father. “Are you in contact with him?”

  Emerson’s eyes opened wide, and Rick nodded.

  “And?” I asked.

  “You and I need to stay out of it.”

  I understood. Rick would put the man capable of giving the Invincible team the information they needed for a successful extraction, in direct contact with them. Jinyan was a code name for a Chinese intelligence officer who had direct ties to the highest level of U.S. government. In other words, he was an invaluable double-agent whose identity needed to be protected at any and all costs. The less Emerson’s father and I knew about what he told the Invincible team, the better it would be for everyone seated at this table.

  Emerson stood. “I need to take a walk.”

  She didn’t invite me along, but I was on her heels anyway.

  By the time she stopped walking and looked over at me, we were beyond the place on the beach where I’d caught up with her earlier.

  “What in the hell was Benjamin thinking? Has he no idea what he’s done?” she asked.

  Benjamin’s agenda was to protect the United Kingdom. Emerson understood that stopping China from gaining further advances in the areas that would define a country as a superpower, was a global concern.

  She sat down on the sand and dug her fingers into its warmth.

  “Tommy and I didn’t meet by chance, did we?”

  “No.”

  “Did you have anything to do with it? My meeting him?”

  “I did.”

  She shook her head. “I’m an idiot.”

  “You’re not.”

  “When it comes to men, I am. You set me up. Why, Lynx?”

  “I told you before, I had no idea that you, the Emerson of our encounter three years ago, were Dr. Charles.”

  “Like I said, idiot when it comes to men.”

  I reached over and took her hand. “Not with me.”

  She looked down at where my thumb caressed her palm. “With you especially.”

  “Why?”

  The longer she stared into my eyes, the more hers filled with tears. “Because with you, I’d want more.”

  The moment of truth had arrived. It was up to me to tell the beautiful woman next to me whether I could offer more. I couldn’t lie. The truth was, I didn’t know whether I could or not.

  As I watched Emerson walk away, I called the only person I could think of who might understand what I was going through.

  “Lennox, Bridget and I were just talking about you. How’s the patient?”

  “Listen, Simon,” I said, cutting to the chase. “I need a favor.”

  “Name it.”

  “Are you on duty this weekend?”

  “As a matter of fact, I’m off.”

  “Can you and Bridget, and the kids of course, manage a weekend down the Cape?”

  20

  Emerson

  “Hi, Daddy,” I said, sitting down in the Adirondack chair next to him.

  “Where’s Lynx?”

  I pointed down the beach. “Out there somewhere.”

  “He seems like a decent guy, Emme.”

  “Decent. Right. The kind of guy you’d bu
y a used car from.”

  My dad laughed and then looked at me in a way I couldn’t stand. “Don’t pity me, Dad.”

  “Pity you? It’s him I pity.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you, Emerson Jane, are formidable.”

  “I don’t want to face him in battle.”

  “They say love is a battlefield.”

  I sat up straighter. “They do?”

  “No, probably not, but I did have a huge crush on Pat Benatar when that song came out.”

  “You and mom are both weird.”

  “She used to look a lot like her.”

  “What in the name of God are you talking about?”

  My dad laughed. “You sound just like her.”

  “Who? Mom or Pat Benatar?”

  When he answered, “Both,” I got up and went inside only to find Lynx in the kitchen, talking to my mother.

  “Emme, there you are. I was just telling Lynx that there’s no reason for his cousin and family to stay in a hotel, we have plenty of room here.”

  Yes, we did have plenty of room, eight bedrooms in fact, in this monstrosity of a house. “There’s room,” I muttered, turning to go upstairs.

  Actually, there was no one I could think of that I wanted to talk to more than Bridget. I wouldn’t admit that to Lynx, though.

  I was in my room with the door closed when I realized I should’ve asked when they’d be arriving.

  —:—

  “This place is fabulous,” Bridget said the next day as we sat on the back porch, watching Lynx, Simon, Brendan, and the twins play on the sand closer to the water. My mom and dad were out there too, and I swear they were sending me telepathic messages about how much they wanted grandchildren. Maybe they could just adopt Simon and Bridget’s kids. It would come with a nice house.

  “Oh my God, is that a bed?” she asked, pointing to the screened-in porch where Lynx and I had begun and ended our night. It had only been two days, but it felt like a different lifetime.

  “Sure is.”

  “I’d love to be able to sleep outside in the summer,” she said wistfully. “Lynx said this house has been in your family for generations.”

  I told her the same thing I’d told him about how each generation added their own special something to the house.

  “What will you add?” she asked.

  “Me?”

  “It’ll be yours one day.”

  I hadn’t thought about that. My father had been an only child, and while I wasn’t, since my brother was gone, I guess technically, I was. I bent my neck and looked up at the house that always seemed too grand for our family.

  Along with its eight bedrooms, it had nine bathrooms and indoor and outdoor kitchens. Besides the daybed, Dad had added a saltwater pool and a large pool house. That had been at my mother’s request.

  The house sat on five sloping acres fronting Cape Cod Bay and had its own salt pond. Almost every room afforded a spectacular view, either of the water or the rolling marshes; even the master bathroom’s whirlpool tub—something else my dad had added—looked out on the bay.

  I sighed, wondering what would come of it once my parents passed away. There was no way I’d be able to handle the upkeep involved in an old house like this, and the likelihood of me marrying someone who could, given my track record, was a flat zero. It made me too sad to think about.

  “Are you okay?” Bridget asked, reaching over to take my hand in a gesture that spoke of a friendship older than a few days.

  “I’ve a lot on my mind.”

  She followed my gaze to where Lynx sat on the sand, looking our way.

  “He adores you.”

  “He doesn’t know me.”

  “That,” she said, pointing at him with no apology, “is not the look of a man who doesn’t know you.”

  Lynx smiled and then fell backward into the sand when one of the little girls climbed all over him.

  “And he’s a good sport,” she added.

  “His life is in England.”

  Bridget was quiet for so long I thought maybe she hadn’t heard me.

  “When Simon and I first started…seeing each other… he was a resident at the hospital where I worked.” She stopped talking and waved at her husband when he blew her a kiss.

  “The way we started out was…unconventional, but the important part of what I want to tell you is, when we first got involved, he’d only planned to be in the States a few more months. In fact, while we were seeing each other, he returned to England for a job interview. I was heartbroken, but had convinced myself it was for the best.”

  I knew where she was going with this, and my heart wanted me to stop her. It wasn’t the same. Lynx and I had sex. That was it. There was never a time we were “seeing each other.” We’d had a couple of nights of sex and nothing else.

  “I should backtrack. When I met Simon, Brendan and I were living on our own. My husband, Brendan’s father, was killed in a car accident when our son was six years old.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks. Anyway, I don’t know if you know this, but I’m older than Simon. Five years older.”

  “It doesn’t appear to matter.”

  “It did to me, especially in the beginning.” She cocked her head and smiled. “I’m taking too long to get to the point.”

  “You’re fine.”

  “Simon was renting a room from me, and…one thing led to another and…we started having sex. It was far more complicated than that, but that’s what it was. We wrote each other these letters…” She smiled and shook her head. “That isn’t important. What is important is that I convinced myself that Simon and I would never have a conventional relationship. He was a playboy-doctor, and I was a mom. And look at us now.”

  “Yes, look at you now. What happened?”

  “We fell in love, and then Simon realized he wanted to be with me more than he wanted to live the rest of his life in England.”

  “Lynx is with MI6,” I blurted and then realized I probably shouldn’t have.

  “It’s okay. I know.”

  “He has to return to England, and my life is here.”

  “Does it have to be?”

  Did it? God, why was I even thinking about it? “We don’t even know each other,” I reiterated, maybe more for myself than her.

  “But you both want to.”

  21

  Lynx

  “How’d you know Bridget was…the one?”

  “Besides wanting to spend every day buried—”

  I nodded my head toward Brendan.

  “Besides knowing I couldn’t live without her?”

  “How long did it take you to realize it?”

  “I went to England to settle a few things, and after I did, all I could think about was returning to the States as quickly as I could.”

  I looked up at the house where Simon’s wife sat talking to Emerson, and a life flashed before my eyes.

  This could be us. Emerson and me, spending summers here with our wee ones, as happy together as Simon and Bridget were.

  But how? I thought about my younger brother and how crazy I believed he was to give up his position with MI5 to go out on his own. Not to mention, Z Alexander had made it perfectly clear that he considered me next in line for the chief position. While Z wasn’t a young man, he wasn’t exactly old either. He could continue in his role for many years.

  “She says I don’t know her.”

  “Do you?”

  “I feel as though I’ve known her all my life.”

  “Then convince her of it.”

  I looked up at Bridget and then again at Simon. The love the two so obviously felt for one another made my chest hurt. Could I have that? Truly?

  “Did you have to convince Bridget?”

  “To the point I thought I’d go mad. But I realized I had to prove it to her, not convince her. She had to trust that I loved not just her, but Brendan too.”

  I saw the boy’s eyes meet Simon’s.
<
br />   “Yeah, I love you, okay?”

  Brendan smiled, shook his head, and refocused his attention on filling molded plastic shapes to build his sisters a sandcastle.

  “I don’t know,” I murmured.

  “Until you do, you bloody well won’t be able to get her to trust you. You shouldn’t even try.”

  That night, as we all sat around the dinner table, I watched Emerson laugh so hard she wrapped her arms around her stomach. I remembered her saying that it was one of her happiest memories of spending her childhood here. With everything that had happened over the course of the last three days, I hadn’t thought it would be possible for her to laugh like she was; I was so glad she was able to.

  “Oh, Rick, I love this song,” exclaimed her mother. “Come dance with me.”

  I found myself humming along to the song I knew well.

  Hark, now hear the sailors cry

  Smell the sea and feel the sky

  Let your soul and spirit fly

  Into the mystic.

  Moments later, Simon held his hand out to Bridget, and the two joined Emerson’s parents, each couple swaying to the music as they held each other close. I longed to feel Emerson in my arms. In fact, they ached with the want of it. When I looked over at her, I saw the same need written on her face.

  I stood and held out my hand, but she didn’t take it. Was I wrong? Had I misinterpreted what I thought I saw on her face? Evidently, I had. I dropped my hand and walked out onto the back porch and then down to the beach. I kept walking until I reached the deserted stretch where Emerson and I had had sex two nights ago, wondering what in the hell I was playing at.

  The woman was a challenge. That was the entirety of it. I woke that morning three years ago, and she was gone. If she hadn’t been, things would’ve turned out vastly different. I didn’t love Emerson like Simon loved Bridget. For me, it was about the conquest. It always had been. My job gave me the perfect excuse to walk away when I was ready to. As an MI6 agent, I traveled the world, never knowing how long I’d be in any one place.