"How silly is that?" Zoe asked and shook her head. "How can you write if you can’t think! If I have a headache I can’t even get up to eat."
Eva chuckled. "Some people can."
"Weird," Zoe mumbled and threw a tiny pebble down the rocky outcrop.
"What were you drawing?"
Zoe reached out and brought the sketchbook to her. She flicked to the page she was working and handed the sketchbook to Eva.
Eva looked down at the pencil drawing of herself. She was standing near the window in profile back at the house. She realized that it was just a few hours ago and Zoe had memorized what she was wearing and how she wore her hair. She even added the hairclip and its intricate style.
"Wow," Eva exclaimed. "You have a very good memory. This is very good."
"Thank you. My mother used to say that I have a photographic memory and that it was a gift, especially for an artist."
"She was right. You both have a very beautiful gift..erm I mean she had," Eva quickly corrected herself. She wanted to slap herself for being so insensitive. "What was your mama like?"
Zoe smiled and closed her eyes. "My mama was the most giving, loving woman. She loved to paint and she loved beautiful things. My papa loved her so much." Zoe unclipped the chain of a small locket she wore and took it off. She opened it to reveal a small photograph inside of it. She handed it to Eva.
Eva took it and gazed at an old photograph of a much younger Zoe with her mother. The resemblance was unmistakable, and if Eva hadn’t known it was Zoe’s mother, she would have thought it was Zoe. "She’s beautiful."
"She was." Zoe smiled. "She never left Larissa, but she loved to read and my papa used to bring her books from Thessaloniki about art and prints she liked." Zoe’s voice broke with emotion.
"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—"
"No, it’s alright," Zoe replied, and took a deep breath before slowly exhaling. "I miss her every day. I think about her, my papa and my brothers all the time. One day it won’t hurt so much that they’re gone, but I don’t think that will happen until I join them."
"Do you think they’re in Heaven?"
Zoe smiled and looked up at the bright blue sky. "Yes, I think so. My mama is probably asking God to paint the next rainbow." She chuckled. "I remember when a rainbow would appear and my mama would look up at it and tell me that God assigned an angel to paint it."
"That’s beautiful." Eva smiled.
"Every time I looked up and there was a rainbow, I would compare it to other rainbows and try and see if the angel did a good job." Zoe laughed.
"What about your father?"
"My papa," Zoe said with a fond smile. "He was the finest man I have ever known. He died helping two Australian soldiers trying to pass the gorge during a fierce battle with the Germans." She looked out at the now somewhat peaceful vista. "In the early hours of 16 April 1941 Papa took a wagon and two Australian soldiers, one was wounded, and tried to get them across to the other side. They never made it."
"I’m sorry."
"Not your fault." Zoe glanced at Eva for a moment. "My papa died a hero trying to save our Allies. Father Haralambos tells me he will be rewarded in heaven for his bravery. When the war is over, I want to travel to Australia."
"It’s on the other side of the planet."
"I know; far from this place."
The two fell silent as they both threw pebbles and pieces of wood down the gorge. After a long moment Eva turned to Zoe. "Did you really think I laughed when your mama was dying?"
"Yes. I thought it was the ugliest thing someone could do with so much death all around them."
Eva stayed silent for a moment and twisted the ring on her finger. "I didn’t."
Zoe looked away into the far horizon and sighed. "I know." She turned to Eva and smiled. "I know it wasn’t you."
"I thought you didn’t believe me when I told you."
"I didn’t," Zoe replied and played with a twig that was sticking out of the rock nearby. "I found out who did laugh."
"Who was it?"
"Nurse Gestapo," Zoe responded as she focused on Eva’s face. "Is there a reason you nicknamed her Nurse Gestapo?"
"There is a reason."
"It’s good that she’s no longer with us, isn’t it?"
Eva pursued her lips. "It was a very tragic accident."
"Very tragic." A smile creased Zoe’s face. "A terrible shame they couldn’t control the car and down it went into the gorge. It was also a shame that Dr. Baer was with her. She appeared to be a good friend of yours."
Eva bowed her head and stared down at the blanket-covered ground. "No, she wasn’t."
"She seemed to act like it."
"She was my uncle Dieter’s mistress and assistant medical director in Aiden," Eva replied as she lifted her head and met Zoe’s intense gaze.
"Uncle Dieter is going to be very unhappy."
A slight smile creased Eva’s face at Zoe’s words. "We’re in a war and she came into a war zone."
"Where is Aiden?"
"It’s a small town in Austria."
"Is that where they cured you of the disease you had?" Zoe asked as she leaned forward and brought a pillow towards her. She hugged the pillow and turned her attention to Eva.
"Yes."
"Can I ask you a question?"
Don’t ask me, Zoe. Please, don’t ask me. Zoe was watching Eva intently. Eva often wondered if Zoe could see into her soul by the way she was looking at her.
"What happened in France?"
Phew! Eva was relieved Zoe didn’t ask the most obvious question. "What about it?"
"You were working with the Resistance. Why didn’t they warn you about the bomb?’
"I planted the bomb," Eva answered quietly. Zoe put her hand over her mouth in shock. "The Resistance couldn’t get the bomb into the house so I volunteered."
"You were going to bomb yourself?"
"Their plan was to kill my father and my uncle, who had come to France to further his medical…work."
"What went wrong? Your father and uncle are still alive."
"Sadly, yes," Eva muttered under her breath. "The bomb went off as planned but my father had moved rooms to be with Nurse Gestapo and my uncle stayed with his mistress."
"Shit."
"And I wished for a quick death," Eva almost whispered the admission that had been a silent prayer for many years. "God did not agree with me."
"That’s why you couldn’t walk for a long time?"
"Yes, the ceiling collapsed on top of me." Eva nodded. "I don’t know how I survived but I must have a guardian angel."
"You need to get God to sack your guardian angel—he is doing a terrible job," Zoe suggested, making Eva smile. "No, really he should."
"Everything happens for a reason."
"You really believe that? I don’t know. That bombing left you in a worse condition."
"What do you mean?
"I’ve seen our dearly departed Nurse Gestapo and Nurse Blondie give you medication now for six months."
Eva wondered how much she was willing to tell Zoe. She knew if she said too much it might be used against her later, but then Zoe knew about her activities in the Resistance. After the past year, Zoe already had ammunition to hurt her if she wanted to. Can I trust her more? Eva sat silent for a long moment looking out over the horizon. "Yes and no."
"Is this one of those ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ times?" Zoe asked and picked up another pebble and threw it over.
Eva picked up her own pebble and fingered the smooth surface for a moment. "I take it for the pain and other things," she said and threw the pebble down the slope.
"I hate taking pills." Zoe watched Eva as she threw another pebble. "You’re not in pain all the time, are you?"
"I get terrible migraines and when that happens my back goes out as well," Eva admitted. "Some days I can’t think straight, and I’m sorry but I take it out on you. Other days I’m fine. I’m under doctor’s orders to take them all
the time."
"I find that strange. If you’re not in pain, why take pills for pain when you don’t need them?" Zoe shook her head. "What was your mama like?" She asked, taking Eva completely by surprise at the way she had changed the subject.
"My mutti—"
"Mutti?"
Eva smiled. Mixing her German with the Greek was confusing for Zoe. Over the past year, she would throw in German words when she couldn’t remember the Greek. "I’m so used to calling her that. Mutti means mommy in German," she explained.
"What was her name? You haven’t spoken of her since the first day I arrived in your house and you pulled out her picture."
"Daphne." Eva smiled. "She loved art, just like your mama. She took me to the Louvre in Paris to see all the beautiful work."
"You went to the Louvre?" Zoe’s eyes grew wide. "Was she an artist?"
"No, sadly my mama did not have your gift, but she tried. Yes, she took me to the Louvre. You can spend days in there." Eva loved the famous French gallery and had spent three long hot summer weeks in 1935 in Paris with her mother and grandmother. "She also loved gardening and we would spend hours out in the garden taking care of the flowers. During the summer we would go to flower shows and tour palaces with beautiful gardens."
Eva closed her eyes and the memory of summer filled days out in the garden with her mother came flooding back, memories that had been buried in the past few years. She opened her eyes and smiled at Zoe. "Sometimes we forget the good things. Being around you like this reminds me to do just that."
"So, you honestly had a maid?"
"Yes."
"I’ve never met anyone who was rich other than Danalos Faksomoulos. When we got news that the Italians were going to invade from Albania, he left Greece. I heard he went to America."
Eva couldn’t help but smile at Zoe’s easy going manner. Zoe had come a long way since that angry young woman who wanted to kill her. At the time, Eva hadn’t fooled herself into thinking Zoe wouldn’t kill her. But the more they got to know each other, the less likely it would be that Zoe would find her to be that "evil Nazi bitch" she used to call her. Kill them with kindness. Eva smiled at the memory of her best friend and his wise words from so many years ago.
"Why are you smiling? Not that I don’t like you to smile, but you looked like you were very far away."
Eva turned her attention to Zoe. "I was just remembering my childhood best friend, Wilhelm. He was someone I used to talk to, just like this."
"He was a boy?"
"Oh, yes." Eva chuckled at the look on Zoe’s face. "Lesbians can have friends that are boys, you know."
Zoe was momentarily stunned into silence at Eva’s dry sense of humor. "That was actually funny," she said after she recovered. "But you’re not a lesbian anymore. You’re cured, right?"
"Y..yes," Eva stammered and hesitantly looked up to find intense green eyes gazing back at her. The two women smiled at each other for a long moment before Eva broke eye contact and looked away.
Oh, how smart is that, Eva? You almost kissed her in front of the guards! Why don’t you go over to where the guards are and you can kiss her there! Eva mentally chastised herself. She spared a glance at Zoe, who had found a little lizard in the rock crag and was playing with it. Eva smiled when she saw Zoe put the lizard down on the rock and let it go.
Zoe looked up to find Eva staring at her and smiled. "Lizards need to be free as well."
"I’m sure they do."
"So, you’re this rich girl. What do rich girls do with their time?"
"I went to university..."
"Really? I knew a girl who went to Athens to study at the university. She was very smart and Michael was sweet on her. So even if you were rich, you still wanted to go to university?"
"Yes. I studied languages," Eva replied proudly.
"Hmm, so Lunatic Muller let you go?"
"Is that his new nickname?"
"Yes, until I can think of something else," Zoe replied with a smile on her face that put a twinkle in her eyes.
"He had no choice. My grandmother’s word was law, so I went."
"So, what did your grandfather do to become rich?"
"Has anyone ever told you that you ask too many questions?"
"Yes. You have, many times. So, if you just answer my questions, I won’t have to ask so many in the future."
"That doesn’t stop you—you’ll find new questions." Eva smiled. "My grandfather owned the largest steel making factory. AEMullerStahl, have you heard of it?"
"No. That doesn’t sound interesting." Zoe paused in thought. "You don’t talk about your family a lot."
"No," Eva replied as she picked up a pebble and held it in her hand. "Sometimes I don’t want to think about what my life was like before my mother died."
"If you don’t think about them, how do you honor their memory?"
Eva looked at Zoe for a moment. It was true; she didn’t talk about her family a great deal, even though the loss of their love was still quite raw. "My grandmother isn’t dead."
"But you talk about her like she’s dead."
Eva shook her head and sighed. "She isn’t dead. I am."
"You look very much alive to me."
Eva smiled at Zoe’s response. "I haven’t heard from my grandmother for years now. I’ve written to her, but she has never replied. I sent letters back with my father before he was stationed in France to give to her, but I didn’t hear back."
"Maybe she didn’t get the letters."
"She got them. I know she did."
"We’re in the middle of a war. How do you know the letters were even delivered to her?"
Eva was silent contemplating those words. "She at least received the letters I sent with my father."
"Muller? You gave them to that crazy man? Why?"
"He’s my father."
"Father H is your father, not that lunatic."
"I didn’t know that at the time. I know you don’t understand, but I loved that man. I think I still do. And despite everything that has happened, I do have happy memories from when he wasn’t acting as crazy."
Zoe paused. "That’s hard to believe. No father who loved his child would hurt his child — not like your father hurt you."
Eva was amazed at the sheer ignorance of that statement. It was so clear-cut for Zoe. So black and white — no grays or any other shade. A father loved his child and wouldn’t hurt them. It was how Zoe was brought up and so different from her own history. "In a perfect world, a father would never hurt his child. We don’t live in a perfect world."
"I don’t understand it. Maybe Germans are different."
Eva wanted to laugh at the absurd comment, but chose not to. Zoe was a teenager living through a war and yet blissfully unaware of the realities of life other than what she saw in the village, even with the occupation. Zoe was simply a young girl and, had it been peacetime, wouldn’t be any wiser. Eva envied such a blissful existence.
"Maybe they are," Eva replied and smiled. "I’m sure my father gave the letters to my grandmother, and I know why I haven’t heard from her. She’s ashamed of me and I don’t blame her. I have shamed the entire family." She looked away, not wanting Zoe to see the tears that streamed down her face. She wiped them with the back of her hand and took a deep breath, held it, and then exhaled slowly. Losing her beloved mother was gut wrenching, but losing the love of her grandmother hurt her deeply because she knew she would be disappointed in her.
"Well, that’s silly. You were a lesbian and you’re cured, not a murderer."
"You don’t know what that means."
"I know what it means. It means that you used to love women instead of men." Zoe shrugged. "Does it mean something else?"
"It means that you are sick and need to be cured."
Eva knew Zoe didn’t understand what a "cure" entailed. "The pills — I also take pills to stop me from having feelings for women," Eva admitted. If only that was the only way they have tried to "cure" me of these feelings.
>
"Oh." Zoe nodded. "I thought you said you were cured. You don’t look sick to me other than your back problem. You don’t act funny, so you can’t be sick in the head." Zoe paused, turning her head in thought. "I don’t know why you need to be cured when you’re already cured, unless you’re not. So, that’s why you take those pills, to cure you? Do they work?"
"Umm. They make me sick sometimes. Umm...I don’t know, I guess they work," Eva responded and then looked away.
"You don’t feel like thinking about women, so they must work." Zoe grinned and lightly tapped Eva on the knee, causing her to smile. "So, when you do think about women ‘that way,’ how does it feel?"
Eva cocked her head a little and gazed at Zoe with a smile. "Why?"
"I’m curious. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a lesbian before."
Eva smiled and then started to laugh. It had been a long time since she felt so light-hearted. "I think you might have met a few, but they don’t have signs on them saying ‘I’m a lesbian.’"
"So did you just wake up one morning and discover you were a lesbian?"
She’s awfully interested in this. Could she be...no... Zoe looked back at Eva with such innocence that Eva wondered if she was imagining something that wasn’t there. "No." Eva shook her head. Stop it, Eva. She’s just curious. "It’s a long story."
"You don’t want to tell me?"
"I don’t want to tell you. Maybe another day."
"All right. Have you got those pills with you?"
"Yes," Eva replied and took out a small bottle she kept with her.
Zoe took it off her and read the German label. "What would happen if I took them?"
Eva found Zoe’s question puzzling. "Why would you want to take them? They would make you sick because they are not for you."
"I was just curious. Do you know what would happen if you were to lose these?"
"I’d be given more."
"When?"
"I guess when Nurse Klein gets back from Thessaloniki in a few days," Eva replied, wondering why Zoe was asking.
"Good," Zoe said and promptly threw the bottle down the ravine, causing Eva to lean over a little to watch its descent.
"Oh!" Eva was surprised at Zoe’s actions. "I don’t think you should have done that."
"Who’s going to tell on me?" Zoe grinned.
In The Blood Of The Greeks (Intertwined Souls Series Book 1) Page 20
