If, however, there is a clear escalation in aggression, the victim will need to attempt to distinguish between personalities. If the primary objective of the attacker appears to be to humiliate or demean the victim either verbally or physically, then the assailant is likely a displaced-anger personality. In that case, the victim should continue trying to verbally communicate to the attacker that she has not abused him and make a show of care and concern for the assailant—“It sounds to me like somebody really did something bad to you. But it can’t be me, because we’ve never met.” Challenging the fantasy is essential: “How do you know that I’m a bitch? You’ve never met me before. We’re strangers. I could be a really nice person.”
If, however, instead of a demeaning and humiliating approach, the rapist is making eroticized and bizarre demands, then he is likely a sadistic personality. This is the most dangerous personality, and no amount of verbal engagement will shake him from his goal. In this case, the victim should attempt anything possible to escape, including the use of lethal force if possible.
Obviously, the victim will not always have an opportunity to think about what is happening and respond with a schedule of strategies. However, there are sufficient case examples of victims and assailants engaging in drawn-out dialogues and escalating dynamics of violence to warrant some thought to the possibility that an informed victim might favorably increase her chances of survival with a well-thought-out response.
The following actions are suggested to enhance your survival:
Never get into the car!
Flee.
If unable to flee:
Use firm verbal confrontational resistance—firmly tell the attacker to leave you alone.
If that does not work:
Use moderate physical dissuasion—twist, kick, push, and punch to attempt to wear the attacker down.
If that fails:
Use verbal dissuasion—attempt to engage the attacker in conversation, talk him down from his rage, challenge his fantasy. Attempt to set a stage for an escape—invite him for a drink in a more populated area.
If that fails:
Use violent resistance—attack your assailant’s eyes, throat, genitals, and face. Strike him with any convenient object nearby, such as a rock or club. Punch him, kick him, stick your fingers in his eyes, bite his nose off. Fight for your life, because at this point you have nothing left to lose.
Currently many college campuses in North America host Rape Aggression Defense (R.A.D.) Systems training sessions. These two-day courses offer some elementary practical advice and training practice in techniques to defend yourself if confronted by a rapist. (See: http://www.rad-systems.com to locate a session near you.)
Finally, here are some words of advice from someone who ought to know: Danny Rolling, the Gainesville Ripper, who in 1990 descended on the Florida college town and, invading the homes of students, raped, killed, and horribly mutilated six victims. (The seventh Gainesville victim was a victim’s boyfriend who was stabbed to death as he fought Rolling.) These are a serial killer’s security tips:
Park your car in the light.
Buy yourself a .38-caliber revolver. Get a permit to carry it on your person, and put it in your handbag where it’s easy to get to.
Buy some Mace on a keychain and have it ready when you get out of your car.
If your bedroom window doesn’t have a screen, get one and nail it to the windowsill.
Place a bunch of empty bottles in the windows.
Get some curtains.
Buy a deadbolt and put it on your bedroom door so you can lock yourself in.
Sleep with your .38-caliber revolver under your pillow. It won’t go off by accident.*
If someone bothers you, don’t ever let an attacker get control. Fight for your life. Scream as loud as you can! Spray Mace in his face. Kick him in the balls. Scratch at his eyes.
Pull your .38-caliber and blow him away! Take it from one who knows: It pays to be paranoid.243
Acknowledgments
I owe a lifetime of thanks to my mom, Svetlana. Thanks to my dad, Boris, who was a big reader of almost every kind of book and shared them all with me, but smoked too much to make it through life long enough to read this one.
Thanks to filmmaker Guiseppe Asaro and Kathy Foy, in whose home in Los Angeles I began working on this book; and a big thanks to my in-laws, Lidy and Aronne Zinato and his sister Jone—the zia—in whose home in Carpenedo-Venice, Italy, I finished it. Their support of and belief in me through hard lean times I will always remember.
Thanks to Sergio Pastrello of Professional Video in Martellago-Venice, my crazy comrade in travels through the Italian television business, and to my friends in Toronto—Flavio Belli, Tom Dungey, Paul Eichgrun, Shannon Griffiths, Doug James, Peter Lynch, Dave Walker, and Tony Wannamaker—all of whom kept me sane, advised, amused, or employed in their various means and ways these last few years. My cousins Lucy, Boris, and John Zawadzki—and Leo—were always behind me.
A special thanks to Sarah Christie, who over a period of several years diligently restored and copied for me photographs from the archives of the Toronto Police Service, some of which appear in this book. Thanks to Eddie at Dencan Books in the Junction in Toronto, who kept me supplied with true-crime classics. I thank Jack Webster, former Toronto police homicide squad chief and recently retired force historian, for his relentless help and advice in guiding me through the historical records of the Toronto Police Service and for his own observations on the nature of the criminal mind and homicide. And thanks to some great schoolteachers: Dina Fayerman, Rochelle Carr, and the late Murray Hirsch, who taught me how to read and ask.
And a real big thanks to my agent, Deidre Knight, who made this happen, and my editor, Ginjer Buchanan at Penguin Group USA, who went for it.
Above all, Quantel and Alisa—Q & A—who have made life worth living and a whole lot of fun too. It’s been a trip!
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