“Lexie,” he began, looking uncomfortable. “There’s something I should tell you.”
She waited for him to continue, but before he could speak, Dan the pilot strolled out of the cockpit and opened the door of the plane.
“The weather is a balmy sixty-five degrees here in Washington tonight. It’ll probably feel like the Arctic after San Rafael, but there it is. I radioed ahead and there’ll be a car waiting for you, but I’m sure you know the routine. Thanks for flying CharterAir.” With a wave of his hand he jumped onto the asphalt and disappeared into the night.
Lexie turned to Caine. “What did he mean, the weather here in Washington? We’re supposed to be in Montana.”
Caine stooped to grab his pack, then stood and slung it on his back. He didn’t look at her. “We can go to Montana in a few days and stay there for as long as you like. But we had to come here to Washington first.”
“You promised me, Caine,” she whispered. She stared at him as her heart broke into little pieces. “You promised me we wouldn’t come to Washington. Why did you lie to me?”
“I’m sorry, Lexie. You don’t know how sorry I am. The last thing I ever wanted to do was lie to you. But we had to come here. It’s the only place where I could make reasonably certain that you and the kid would be safe until this situation with El Cuchillo is resolved. And now it’s the only place where I would have the facilities to deal with that picture.”
“It was just a job to you all along, wasn’t it?” She felt her eyes filling with tears and blinked them furiously away. She refused to allow herself to cry in front of him. “You were simply following orders again. My father told you to find me and bring me back, and that’s what you did. My wishes didn’t make a damn bit of difference.”
“That’s not the way it is, and I think you know it. I’m trying to do what’s best for you and the kid.”
“And don’t call her that again.” Lexie heard her voice rising, but she didn’t care. Something broke inside her as pain tore at her from every direction. “She has a name, and it’s Ana. Call her by her name, dammit!”
His gaze flickered to her shawl, then snapped back to her face. “You have every right to be upset with me.” His face was pale, but he looked her in the eye. “I admit it. I lied to you when I told you I wouldn’t bring you back to Washington, but don’t you see that I had to? Especially now. El Cuchillo’s soldiers know where this plane was headed. What if they try to come after you? I can protect you far better here than I could on my ranch in Montana. It should only take a few days to resolve this, then we can go there. You don’t even have to see your father if you don’t want to.”
“So there really is a ranch in Montana? I thought maybe that was a lie, too.” She stared at Caine for a moment, until she felt her lip quivering. Then she spun around and stared out the window of the cockpit at the twinkling lights of the airport.
“Yes, there’s really a ranch in Montana.” There was no expression in his voice. “I’ve already handed in my resignation. When this job is finished I’m moving there for good.”
This job. Her heart shriveled into a small, aching mass. “What about everything else that happened on this trip? Was that a lie, too?” she asked softly.
She felt him start toward her, then stop. “I think you know the answer to that,” he said gently. “I knew when I decided we had to come to Washington that you might not forgive me for tricking you and bringing you back here, but I had to do it anyway. It was a choice between having you alive and having you mad at me. Which would you have chosen?”
Before she could reply, another man came out of the cockpit. “This is the end of the line, folks,” he said in a cheerful voice, as if he hadn’t heard any of their argument. “Hop out. I have to pull up to customs now.”
Lexie’s face burned as she turned away from him and stumbled toward the door of the plane. It was bad enough to have to face Caine’s betrayal. To have a witness on top of it was almost too humiliating to think about.
Caine somehow managed to get to the door of the plane before she did. She ignored his outstretched hand, but he picked her up and swung her down onto the asphalt anyway. When she moved away he let his hand drop, but he stayed close to her side.
“There’s the car,” he said in a neutral voice.
She had no other choice but to get in the car, and she knew it. Without a word she stalked to the nondescript dark sedan and yanked open the back door. Caine slid in beside her, then leaned forward to say a few quiet words to the driver.
He settled back against the seat next to her, and in a few minutes they were on the expressway and heading out of the city. Neither of them spoke for a long time.
As the lights flickered past the car, becoming fewer and fewer as they drove along, she looked down at Ana, lying on the seat beside her with a seat belt wrapped around her. All her dreams tasted like dust in her mouth. Propelled by her pain, she found herself saying, “I hope my father appreciates your loyalty.”
“What do you mean?”
“There can’t be too many men who would obey their boss so blindly. Especially in personal matters.” .
“This isn’t exactly just personal, Lexie. And even if it was, I still would have brought you here. This is where you’ll be the safest.”
She heard the pain in his voice, pain that he tried to hide, and for a moment she wavered. But she forced herself to think of what had happened eleven months before. “I suppose it wasn’t ‘personal’ when my father ordered you to leave the country and you didn’t even bother to say goodbye to me? It wasn’t ‘personal’ when I woke up in your apartment and found out you were gone?”
“I never intended to be gone for that long. I was supposed to be back in two days. I thought I could explain it to you then.” His voice was carefully expressionless, but she didn’t want to think about why.
“Too bad it turned out to be inconvenient for you to return then.”
“Yes.”
The silence in the car reverberated against her ears, heavy with tension. When she glanced over at Caine, he was staring out the window.
“Why, Caine?” she asked, unable to keep the remembered hurt and pain out of her voice. “Why didn’t you ever get in touch with me?”
“Would it have made any difference if I had?”
“You know it would have. I was in—” She caught herself and stopped. “I was infatuated with you, and you knew it. I thought my father had sent you away, and you didn’t care enough to get in touch with me.”
At that he turned to face her. In the intermittent light from the highway she could see the lines of pain on his face. “That wasn’t true, Lexie,” he said in a low voice. “I would have walked through hell to get back to you. But I couldn’t.”
“Why not?” she asked, her voice passionate. “If it wasn’t my father, what was stopping you?”
He turned away again, silent for so long she thought he wasn’t going to answer. Finally he said in a low voice, “The mission your father sent me on got screwed up. The group I was supposed to contact found out who I really was and they kept me locked up for seven months. I had been home only a couple of weeks when your father told me you were in San Rafael.”
“Oh, Caine!” Her anger disappeared, replaced by horror. She glanced over at his rigid profile, almost afraid to ask. “What about the rest of the time?” she whispered.
Again the silence in the car was heavy with tension. Finally he said, “I was in the hospital.”
“Caine!” she said, shocked, thinking of the scars she had felt on his back, remembering his fear of medical care. Her heart twisted, wondering what he had been through. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”
“What was the point? At first, after I found out about the baby, I didn’t care what you thought of me. Afterward, I didn’t think it mattered anymore. I assumed you had figured out that I would have been with you if I could have.”
She wanted to tell him that she had, that she’d assumed that all alon
g, but she knew she couldn’t do that. All along, she’d assumed the worst of him. And she was still doing it, she realized slowly. He had lied to her about coming back here, it was true, but maybe he was telling her the truth when he said he’d done it only so he could make sure she was protected.
She turned to him, knowing she didn’t mean the hurtful words she’d spoken and needing to tell him so. But the car slowed down and Caine leaned forward over the seat to speak to the driver. They rolled to a stop in front of a modest-looking house on a quiet street, and Caine got out of the car and waited for her to join him.
“You’ll be safe here for as long as it takes to clear this up,” he said softly.
He didn’t touch her as he waited for her to move. She wanted to say something, anything, but his face was as remote and closed off as she’d ever seen him. As she started toward the front door, he said, “There’ll be a guard with you all the time. It’s over now.”
His words had a ring of finality and she stopped and turned to him, a huge weight settling on her chest, crushing her. He wasn’t even looking at her. “What about you?” she asked, not even trying to hide the desperation in her voice. “You’ll be here, too, won’t you?”
He shot her a surprised look, as if he couldn’t believe that she would want him there, then shuttered his face again. “I’ll be back when I can.”
Without looking at her again he opened the front door and nodded to the man who stood blocking the way. “It’s okay, Tim. It’s us.”
The man he’d called Tim nodded and walked away, leaving them together. Caine turned to look at her, then his gaze shifted to where Ana slept in the shawl. “Take care of yourself.” He reached out a hesitant hand and skimmed one finger over the top of the baby’s head. “And take care of Ana.”
He left without looking back. She wanted to call to him, to tell him that she was sorry, but her throat was swollen and thick and the words wouldn’t come out. As she listened to the door gently closing, heavy tears welled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. She stood there for a long time, the steady stream of her tears soaking the shawl.
Chapter 16
Lexie opened her eyes with a start and looked around. The semidarkened room was completely unfamiliar and she rolled over, looking for Ana and Caine.
Ana slept in a bassinet right next to the bed, but there was no sign of Caine. As Lexie sat up, pushing her hair out of her face, she remembered.
Caine was gone. He’d left her here, in this house, while he tried to find out more about the men in her picture. He’d promised her that she would be safe, but she felt more alone this morning than she ever had in her life.
Ana fidgeted in the white bassinet, and Lexie reached for her child, holding her cradled against her. “I bet you miss him, too, don’t you?” she whispered in the baby’s ear, inhaling her warm, sweet scent. “Don’t worry, he’ll come back eventually.” He has to, she told herself. He wouldn’t just leave them here until this was all over, then send someone else to set them free.
Why not? a quiet voice asked. You made it pretty clear that not only didn’t you trust him, but you wanted no part of him at all. Lexie sat staring at the frame of golden sunlight that surrounded the closed blinds and remembered Caine’s face the night before as he’d told her to take care of herself. And Ana.
She closed her eyes to blot out the memory of the pain she’d seen in his face. Pain that he hadn’t even tried to hide. He’d called his daughter by her name, let his hand linger on her head, then turned and walked out the door without looking back.
And why would he have? the same insistent voice asked. It was the second time she’d turned away from him. Old habits were hard to break, she reminded herself bitterly. Caine, she was sure, was thinking the same thing.
The sound of Ana whimpering brought her back to reality. She held the baby clutched to her chest, and Ana was wriggling in discomfort. Forcing herself to relax, Lexie leaned back against the headboard of the bed and put Ana to her breast.
As she nursed, she looked around the unfamiliar room. It was no more personal than a motel room, although someone had attempted to make it welcoming. There were pictures hanging and the walls were covered with a delicate, floral wallpaper, but the room chilled her. It looked the way she felt—as if all the life had been drained out of it.
When Ana had finished, Lexie rolled out of bed to find that a stack of disposable diapers had been placed on top of the dresser, along with baby wipes and a couple of tubes of ointment. Laying Ana on the bed, she picked up a neat paper-and-plastic diaper.
So this was civilization, she thought as she examined the diaper. Closing her eyes, she longed for Santa Ysabel with every fiber of her being. She wanted her uncomplicated life back, where all she had to worry about was if she would get the vaccines she needed from the government of San Rafael, and whether or not she’d washed enough diapers for Ana.
Slowly she opened her eyes and smoothed out the paper diaper. If she were back in Santa Ysabel, she wouldn’t have found Caine again, she reminded herself. And even if she never saw him again, she wouldn’t trade their time together for anything in the world. Not even for her old life in the village. She treasured every moment of those few days they’d spent together, and she would guard their memory in her heart for the rest of her life.
“Come on, sweetheart, let’s get one of these contraptions on you,” she muttered to Ana. They couldn’t stay in this room forever.
Fifteen minutes later, dressed and hungry, she opened the door of her room. She found herself at the top of a staircase, and at the bottom, sitting in a chair in the living room, she saw a man put down a newspaper and smile up at her.
“Good morning, Ms. Hollister. Did you sleep well?”
She nodded as she walked down the stairs. “Yes, thank you.” She paused, feeling her face redden. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name. I know...Caine...introduced us last night, but I’ve forgotten.” Her face got even redder when she stumbled over Caine’s name, but the man at the bottom of the stairs didn’t seem to notice.
“My name’s Tim,” he said easily. “And don’t worry about it. You were awfully tired last night.”
“You’re very diplomatic,” she replied, giving him a tiny smile as she stepped off the stairs. “Thanks, Tim, for being here like this.” She gestured to the room. “For guarding me, I mean.”
“Hey, it’s my job.” He grinned at her. “But it doesn’t always come with such cute packages.”
For a minute Lexie thought he was referring to her, and she squirmed with discomfort. Then she saw he was staring at Ana, and she felt herself relax as her heart expanded. “Thank you,” she said, her voice soft.
“How old is she?” Tim stood on tiptoe, trying to peer over the blanket that covered the baby.
“Two months.”
Tim flashed her a grin. “Is she smiling yet?”
Completely disarmed, Lexie moved into the living room and sat down on one of the chairs. “She sure is.” Looking over at the man opposite her, seeing the yearning on his face, she said impulsively, “Would you like to hold her?”
“I’d love to.” He held out his arms, and Lexie handed him the baby.
As she watched him for a while, she couldn’t help but think of Caine. Would he ever be half as eager to hold his daughter? Would he ever even see his daughter again? Blinking back tears, she forced herself to talk to Tim.
“You must have kids of your own.”
He looked up at her and nodded. “A daughter who’s two and a half, and a son who’s six months. It’s hard to be away from them when I’m on a job like this.”
“How long are you going to be here?” she asked, unable to keep the eagerness out of her voice. Maybe he would know if Caine was coming back.
Shrugging, he handed Ana back to her. “We never know. As long as it takes. It could be days or weeks.” He looked at Ana one last time, his longing for his own children naked in his eyes, then glanced up at Lexie. “There’s some cereal
and other breakfast stuff in the kitchen, and coffee’s already made. Help yourself. After you’re done, we can talk about the rules here.”
“Okay.” She was famished, she realized. When she’d dressed that morning, in clothes that had been washed and ironed, she’d found that everything hung too loosely on her frame. She’d lost weight during their trek through the jungle, and now she could hardly wait to eat.
A half hour later, Ana lay on a blanket on the floor and Tim was quietly telling her what she could and couldn’t do. When he was certain that she wouldn’t pull back the blinds, use the telephone or open either of the doors, he went back to his paper and she stared at Ana, happily gurgling on the floor.
The day stretched in front of her, empty and lonely. What was wrong with her? she wondered as she went into the kitchen to get another cup of coffee. She’d never had a day free of responsibilities, when she could do nothing but enjoy Ana and relax. And now that she did, all she could think about was Caine.
Where was he? And what was he doing? She stared sightlessly at the white kitchen cabinets as he filled her mind. Was he thinking about her at all? Or was he too busy trying to figure out why the rebel leader El Cuchillo was so anxious to capture her? Would she ever know?
She’d never even told Caine that she loved him. The kitchen cabinet blurred in front of her burning eyes. Now, maybe she would never get the chance.
She heard a noise behind her, and she spun around. Tim stood in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning against the wall. “Why don’t you watch some television?” he suggested gently. “Or there’s a bunch of books in the extra bedroom. We probably won’t hear anything today.”
“Do you think he’ll come back tomorrow?” She couldn’t disguise the eagerness in her voice.
Tim didn’t even pretend not to understand. “I don’t know, Ms. Hollister. I got the impression that he had a lot to do.”
The faint trace of pity she saw in his eyes made her turn around and fumble with her coffee cup. “It’s just hard to wait, not knowing anything,” she said in a low voice. She hoped that he wouldn’t notice how her voice trembled.
To Save His Child Page 25
