by Sara Schoen
“I had a friend back home with your last name. Her name was Taylor Graystone. Hers was spelled with an A, as in aggressive, and she made sure everyone knew it.” She laughed lightly, like a tingling of a small bell, but eventually became cold and rigid again.
“I’m Greystone, but with an E, as in escape with me tonight?” I offered her the most charming smile I could muster, but she pulled back slightly again. Clearly taken aback. Damn, maybe Justin was right, I couldn’t get a girl unless they knew who I was. Maybe my family’s money made up for my lack of charm.
“Are you asking me out?” She tilted her head to the side like a puppy would. It’s as if she couldn’t fathom the idea of someone asking her out. Or maybe it was just me. “We just met...I’m not really comfortable with that, but I’m flattered by the offer.” She glanced at the activity tracker watch on her wrist. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the wildlife center. Maybe I’ll see you again. It is a small town after all.” She smiled shyly before taking off and leaving me standing alone like a dumbass. I could feel eyes on me from within the diner, but I didn’t look. I’d only embarrass myself more. As if that’s possible, I thought as I walked back to the ambulance in shame.
“I told you,” Justin chimed in as I rounded the vehicle, the smile clear in his tone.
I shoved him off the hood of the car and took his spot, watching as Mia pedaled out of town. I caught myself thinking about how she was probably just shy because she’s new to town. She did say we’d talk again, and I was going to make sure I took her up on the offer. This isn’t over. It’s far from over actually.
Chapter 4
The hot June sun beat down on me as I pedaled past the clear water of Crystal Lake, the bottom of the lake was obstructed by shadows, but in the low areas I could see small rocks and plants growing on the banks. Plants aren’t my thing, but I appreciate what they do so I can breathe. Which also made me appreciate the town’s environmental programs to keep the air clean and as ‘an aid to healing’ since the town had been founded for the hot springs to ‘cure any illness.’
I didn’t believe it, but I guess if the town did then that’s all that mattered. It didn’t ruin Escape for me. I had to learn a lot in my last few weeks because now the town is filled with tourists. The girl’s wellness camp already has campers arriving, the schools in the area are out for summer, and with more tourists coming in every day it kept me busy. David even put me with Emmy Rosewell on cave tours. I had already done a birding/hiking program for the girls at the wellness camp who had arrived early, and started research in the aquarium. My life is starting to pan out here and I love it. I even tolerate Gage.
He’s tried talking to me every time he’s seen me in town and a few times he’s come to the wildlife center to see me. I’m half flattered and half creeped out he’s coming to see me at work. The first time he had come in he spent half an hour talking to me without me replying with anything more than a head nod and few half-hearted smiles. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. He didn’t seem to mind, he told me about him and filled me in on the town. It took him a few visits, but eventually I started opening up to him about little things; my likes, dislikes, and a few personal experiences. I talked to him like an old friend, like the ones I had before Wes became controlling. Friends…how had Gage managed to get close enough to me to be my friend? If that’s what we even were. Everything I told Gage was ‘surface level’ as my psychiatrist would say.
“It’s okay to do those things, Mia. Victims, especially those of mental and emotional abuse, often suffer from PTSD symptoms. It's normal that you're hesitant and keep everything at a surface level when talking to people. Trust is hard. It takes a long time to open up to people after you've been hurt the way you have. It's okay to watch and listen while you try to figure out who's a threat and who isn’t. It's called survival and you're doing great with it. I wonder what it would be like if you opened up, just a bit? What's the worst that could happen?”
I shook Dr. Lee’s words from my mind. She was right. I didn’t want to talk, I wanted to stay quiet and distance myself if needed. It wasn’t to be mean, but I’m still not sure whether or not I can trust him. He hadn’t done anything to deserve that, but distance kept us both safe. I don’t want to get him caught in the middle in case Wes finds me again. What if Gage fell for me and I had to run? I couldn’t take him with me and it would hurt me more to leave him if we started anything. Though, every time Gage talked to me, it got just a little easier to talk to him.
I sighed. I’m not good enough. I’m not worth the effort he’s putting in. I had heard it plenty of times from Wes about how he could go get any other girl but stayed with me anyway. I scoffed at the thought. He didn’t care about me. He left with, ‘I never loved you’, but continued to make me feel worthless and abysmal twenty-four seven. He would text me to tell me he was dating other girls, call me for dating advice, or to reiterate how thrilled his mom was we were no longer dating. He did it to make me miserable.
It seemed like the pain would never end. I just wanted to cut my heart out if it would end this pain. I lived for his praise and his reassurance and without it, I crumbled. He made me rely on him and when he was done with me, he threw me aside like trash and laughed at my pain. I was fragile as glass for years. I broke apart over everything and duct taped myself back together to look like I was fine. I couldn’t hold a normal relationship, even with friends, for a while but eventually I healed. I could stand on my own again, and it had only gotten better after moving to Escape.
I still preferred to be alone, but that’s because I wasn’t sure who to trust anymore. Gage was practically begging for me to trust him, but I knew what would happen if I got involved with a new guy and Wes found out. Why couldn’t he just let me go? He broke up with me...why did he have to continue to ruin my life? My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a car horn behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the Escape ambulance. A smile and a grimace fought for dominance over my expression. Gage just couldn’t make this easy, could he?
“Hey Mia, how’s your day going?” He pulled up next to me and drove slowly to keep up with my pedaling. There didn’t seem to be any sign that this would be a quick conversation.
“It was going good, but then I had this jerk blare his horn in my ear,” I teased, picking up the usual banter from our conversations. Somehow, it made it easier to talk to him and he didn’t seem to mind. Even if I was mean to try to put distance between us he seemed to just get closer. My heart fluttered at the thought, but I forced the emotions down. This always happens with Gage. “How’s yours?”
“It’s going great! Thanks for asking. I’m just getting off a call. A hiker broke his leg when he fell off Dead Man’s ridge. I keep telling Harrison we need to block it off, but it hasn’t happened yet.”
“Oh no, is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s in the capable hands of the doctors at the hospital. We have some of the best around here and if it’s anything too serious, we have a helipad for transportation to University of Colorado Hospital.”
I was about to answer when my bike suddenly tipped forward, sending me over the handlebars and onto the road. I put my hands out in front of me as I crashed onto the pavement. I skidded slightly, scraping my knees, hands, and elbows. Pain radiated from the road burns. I didn’t want to move, even when I felt a hand on my shoulder helping me get into a seated position.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll get you cleaned up and back to normal in no time,” Gage said, shifting me into an easier position for him to work with. I saw he already had a first aid kit in hand and the ambulance had been shut off. He moves fast. No wonder he’s a good EMT.
He remained calm while I squirmed from him cleaning the fresh wounds. It reminded me of my dad taking care of my injuries over the years, even the time I had gotten hot tar coated onto the bottoms of my feet in the dead of summer. The asphalt was so hot from the summer sun, when I walked barefoot it stuck to my feet and burned the bottoms
badly. Dad said that’s where North Carolina Tar Heels got their names. I wasn’t sure that was true, but I’m glad he and Gage knew what to do, otherwise I’d just be in pain every time I got hurt.
“You know, I’ve been thinking.” That’s dangerous, I thought with a smirk. Last time he said that, he tried to impress me by helping me out only to stumble over his words and his own two feet. Making me laugh was the way to my heart and he was well on his way there. “I think the D in Daniels stands for damsel in distress. This is the third or fourth time I’ve had to come help you or seen others help you. I think you like the attention.”
I tensed, the warm comforting feeling I had with him suddenly dispersed as I became defensive and overtly annoyed by his comment. About to let my sharp tongue do the talking, I almost missed the playful tone in his words. He smiled at me brightly and chuckled to let me know it was a joke, cooling my anger. A smile slowly crept over my lips, the calm feeling returning. “It actually stands for danger prone. I don’t like attention, but it kind of falls on me when I fall over or drop things. Sometimes it puts me in the hospital.” I laughed remembering my sixth birthday when my father and I had rather poor timing. He opened the car door at the same moment I ran by and I slammed straight into the corner of the door. The hospital staff was in disbelief over my story, but they glued me up with liquid stitches and sent me home. According to Mom, I went to school the next day too and never cried. Strange, I would think I cried since I cried over everything as a child.
“Gage!” a voice called from up the street. Gage turned around and I peeked around him to see who it was. A petite blonde girl, who looked pissed to see him talking to me, had her hands on her hips in a ‘get over here’ manner. Is that his girlfriend? She looks pissed enough to be.
Gage sighed, but stood up and helped me to my feet. “I have to go before Kayla comes down here and drags me away.” He chuckled, tossing the supplies back in the first aid kit and putting it back in the ambulance. “Be safe until I can come back and help you again. I’d rather you not get hurt, but if you do, I’d like to be around.” He gave me a soft charming smile and for a moment took my fears away, but Kayla called to him again and brought them back.
“Gage! We are going to be late, get up here! I don’t like waiting.”
Gage groaned again, getting in the car, and said good-bye to me before driving off. Kayla glared at me until Gage slowed down so she could get into the ambulance with him. I felt a familiar burst of anger and resentment bubble up inside me. He has a girlfriend, but he asked me out on my first day here and has been flirting with me for weeks. Anger pulsed through my veins as I picked up my bike and forcefully slammed it into place. How could he do that to her? To me? Did he think I wouldn’t find out just because I’m not from here? What a prick, I thought, mounting my bike and taking off toward home. I don’t play mind games, and I won’t be played with anymore. I refuse to go back to someone like Wes, no matter how attractive the guy is...
Chapter 5
“I don’t know, Mom. I might come visit, but if I do I can’t stay long. You know you can’t visit or he’ll follow you like he did when I was in North Carolina.” I sighed, feeling my heart rip in two for telling her she couldn’t come here because of Wes. I wanted to see her and I wanted her to see Escape. Then maybe she’d understand why I didn’t want to run anymore. “You’d love it here, Mom. It’s beautiful. I’ve only been here six weeks and I love it.”
“I’m sure it’s stunning. Though you know if I came I’d be going to the hot springs. They sound heavenly,” her voice crackled slightly due to the low service around Escape. The mountains made it difficult to talk, but the town had Internet service and phone lines. They just weren’t always reliable. That didn’t bother me though; it made me feel safer. “Have you made many friends?”
“Yeah, actually I have. Kelsey, the girl who works with the girls from the wellness camp, and I hang out a lot. I do programs with her girls, cave tours with Emmy, and David has given me a few research projects to work on at the wildlife center. It’s going great. Better than I could have hoped actually. Though everyone already knows I’m danger prone. A guy in town had to bandage me up after I went over the handlebars of my bike. Thank God he’s an EMT or I would have come home with blood all over my knees and hands.” I glanced at the new bandages I had put on, as per Gage’s instructions when he noticed the other ones were seeping in blood. When I ignored him, he had Justin tell me again while I was at the Outsider’s Bar nursing a rum and coke. Justin tried to play it off like he was there to drink and said, “I’m full of alcohol and dark thoughts. It’s a side effect of the job sometimes.” He laughed as he said it with an immaculate British accent and ordered a drink. I laughed at the memory, gaining my mother’s attention.
“Oh, a guy from town, huh?” Her voice peaked with excitement. I could hear the smile on her lips. Leave it to my mother to think I was laughing about Gage and not his friend’s antics. She was so hopeful to someday have grandchildren. “Who’s the guy? You haven’t shown an interest much since Wes.”
More like I couldn’t show an interest, even if I was, there was no point. I was worthless. Wes had told me all the time, and even more after the break up. That’s why no one had come looking for me when I ran the first time. No one had texted or bothered to call. I suddenly felt a pang of overwhelming sadness sweep over me as I realized not even my swim teammates had come looking for me. Why had I quit swimming? I would have had a team by my side. Oh, wait, I quit because he told me to. He said he wanted to spend more time with me, but when soccer season came around he couldn’t do the same for me.
“That’s because he likes to ruin all my new relationships, Mom. Remember when he convinced Linkin I was cheating on him and showed him our conversations from four years ago? What about when he told Kayden I had an STI? Oh, and my personal favorite, when he actually threatened to kill Jackson because he refused to believe Wes’ lies. I really thought he was a keeper...” I fought back tears remember all the pain and suffering Wes had put me through before and after our relationship. He drove away boyfriends, friends, and now had successfully isolated me from my family.
No wonder no one else wanted to be with me; I’m broken. Why couldn’t that girl he dumped me for have stayed with him? I shook my head to get rid of that thought. No one should stay with Wes. I just wish she had stayed so he wouldn’t have come back for me. I had healed, I had moved on, but he wasn’t ready to lose control.
“I know it hasn’t been easy, honey. I had hoped Wes would stop, but that doesn’t seem likely.” She paused, and I waited for her to speak again. I think sometimes she struggled with this more than I did. Thankfully, Wes didn’t bother my parents. They had taken out a restraining order on him, as had I, but he only obeyed theirs. Mine was ignored because really, what could a piece of paper do? He always left before the cops showed up. “So, I don’t think you should wait around for him to leave you alone. You should go for it. Move on with your life and if he comes back, which will be difficult considering where you moved to, then you and this guy can handle it together. Just give the man some warning beforehand this time.”
“No way. He’s cocky. He asked me out the first time we met. That’s a little too forward in my opinion.” I waited for Mom to reply, but she took so long I thought we had lost connection again. I was about to ask if she was still there when I looked at my phone and saw the timer still going.
“You like him.”
I scoffed. “Doubtful. I barely know the guy.”
“Sometimes you don’t have to, sweetheart. All it takes is the right person and you just know.”
I sighed, unsure of how to answer. I know she just wanted me to be happy, but if I opened up and got crushed again I wasn’t sure I would recover. I don’t know if she ever knew just how bad my depression was or the things I had considered to make the pain go away, even just for a moment. I like to believe she did. She started to spend more time with me in the thick of it, which gave me hope,
but I’d never asked her directly. I didn’t want to hear if I was wrong or not. Sometimes it was better not knowing.
Glancing at the clock, I realized I was late for the wellness camp bird watching and hiking program. “Mom, I have to go. I have to lead a program in less than fifteen minutes and that’s quite a bike ride for me. I’ll call soon I promise. I love you!”
“I love you too. Stay safe, and give the guy a chance. You never know what will happen.”
I can take a guess... “I’ll see. Thanks Mom, I’ll call again soon. Bye.” I hung up after she said good-bye, then I grabbed my backpack, flung it over my shoulder and walked out the door. All the while I silently wished I could go home to be with my family. Wes ruined everything...
I locked the door, double-checking I did before leaving, got on my bike and rode to the wellness camp. The girls had just finished their group exercise for the day, I think today was Zumba. Then they would eat lunch and we’d go for our hike. Kelsey just liked to have me early so everything could run in ‘tip-top shape’ when it was time to go. Honestly, I wasn’t sure why half of these girls were here. They weren’t overweight, maybe out of shape, but so was I until I started riding a bike everywhere.
“Hey Mia! Are you ready for the hike?” Kelsey called from behind me.
I turned to see her brown hair pulled up into a high ponytail and her wearing her usual workout clothes. “I’m ready! There’s more birds out in the morning, but this should be fine and I plan on taking the girls to Morning Glory so they can look over Mountain Side Heights Overlook.”
“That sounds perfect. That’s one of my favorite trails for them to do so they can have a short, but not too long, break. They’ll love it. They said they enjoyed it last time so I thought doing it again would make them want to go hiking. They are getting a little lethargic in the late June sun. I can’t say I blame them, but I’ve packed them full of water and they have three meals a day so they should be good to go!”
