by Tia Siren
“I’m a little annoyed with the guys over at the label,” said Leah. “They keep saying how bad they want us to sign. And yet, even though I told them what we were doing here in Georgia, they still called me twice. Badgering like that might be a bad omen, you know.”
I nodded as a car commercial came on, playing a corny jingle that I’d heard in hundreds of other car commercials across the country.
“Talk to me, girl,” Leah said to me. “Let me know what you’re thinking.”
“I know I’m supposed to meet Darren at Floyd’s super soon,” I responded. “I’m the one that said we should go out to eat. I’m the one that suggested it. But, I don’t think I want to go.”
“Your dad just died,” she stated. “I think he’ll understand that you’re not feeling up to it.”
“That’s not it,” I said. “I can’t make myself go through with it after our—after the past we have. The more I think about it, the less sense it makes to tread near him.”
“What do you mean?” she wondered.
I scoffed. “I mean we were best friends for years—he was the closest friend I ever had—then, we fucked it all up when we tried being together.”
“Elaborate on that,” she said. “What happened? What went wrong?”
“Nothing went ‘wrong,’” I said. “It’s just he knew I was going to move on to somewhere new, and he still wanted to give us a shot. Then, when things were going really well, and I got my chance, I jumped and wanted him to jump with me. But he didn’t. I don’t know how he feels or even if he still feels anything. And, I don’t know what’s best. I reckon it’s better that I just stay put.”
“So, why didn’t he want to go with you?” she asked.
“I still ask myself that sometimes,” I replied. “Darren is a gifted musician and an amazing songwriter. When I got my foot in the door in Tennessee and got those awesome opportunities, the door wasn’t just being held open for me. He had the same chances to go somewhere better like I did. But, he rejected everything that was being offered to him to stay here in Rome. He chose to stay here over Memphis. I mean, can you believe that shit?”
“Well, the city life isn’t for everyone, hun,” said Leah.
“I know,” I groaned. “But, if you’d been in my shoes?”
She laughed. “I would have been on the first plane out of Atlanta. But that’s just me. Why didn’t he want to leave Rome?”
“I have no damn idea,” I said. “I didn’t know then, and I still have no idea.”
“Do his parents live here?”
“No.”
The TV was playing a commercial for car insurance.
“Darren never took much seriously,” I continued. “He’s not lazy or anything. he’s chill. That’s the only way I can describe it. You know?”
“He can’t be chill in Tennessee?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I hated how it didn’t work out with us. I liked him a lot. He and my dad got along great.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, sometimes Darren would come over even if I wasn’t here,” I said. “He and my dad would go hunting together. They never shot anything. I suspect they just liked doing something ‘manly’ together. Darren wasn’t close to his dad, and I think my dad always wanted to have a son to go along with me.”
“Aw, he looked at Darren like a son?” asked Leah.
“I mean, he wasn’t trying to be a dad to him,” I said. “He just liked doing things with him that a father and son would do. It was sweet.”
“Good thing Darren was at the funeral,” Leah remarked.
“Definitely,” I said. “I remember there was one time I got a little jealous of all the time Darren was getting with my dad alone, so I begged them to let me come along with them once. They were going fishing right near the Alabama state line, and I’d never gone. I wasn’t too crazy about fishing, but I wanted to do something I knew my dad liked to do.
“So, we got up at four in the morning, after I’d only gotten like five hours of sleep. I’d spent the whole day and night before writing music. We got up, my dad drove us to the lake near the state line, and we sat in our boat for two hours catching nothing. By the time the sun was all the way up, and more boats were on the water, I actually fell asleep. I felt so bad. I felt like I’d hurt my dad’s feelings.”
“I bet he was just happy that you wanted to come along,” said Leah.
“Yeah, probably,” I smiled. “Darren was kind of bummed at first. I think he liked having things that only the boys did together. But, I didn’t like feeling left out. My dad and I did things together. But he always seemed so happy whenever he’d get back from hunting or riding around on four-wheelers, or anything he did with Darren. I wish I’d tried to be a part of those things more often. Now, it’s too late.”
Leah patted my hand, giving a sympathetic frown.
“I had a lot of good times with my dad,” I continued. “I especially liked whenever he’d play music with me. If he picked up the acoustic, I took the electric. He never sang in a serious voice. He was always way over-the-top. But, I loved that. He was so much fun.”
Leah hugged me, and I buried my face in her shoulder.
“Don’t have any regrets, hun,” said Leah. “Your dad wouldn’t have wanted that. He was so proud of you. You just have to keep moving forward.”
“Oh, I’m not going to stop. Don’t worry,” I assured her.
We sat and continued to reminisce as the clock continued to tick. 6:00 had come and gone, and although we both had been eying the time, neither of us brought up dinner with Darren.
Then, at around 6:30, Leah stood up and headed for the door.
“I’m heading back to the hotel for the night,” she said. “What are you thinking?”
“I think I’ll stay here at the house tonight,” I replied.
“Do you want me to order our tickets back to Memphis yet?” she asked.
“Let’s hold off for a little bit,” I told her. “I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything if I went back tomorrow anyway. Plus, I don’t mind having this little break from city life. I think I might want to stay a little while longer.”
Leah raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
“What’s the look for?” I asked.
“I thought you didn’t want to be here any longer than you needed to be,” she answered. “You sure you don’t want to move back here?”
I laughed. “Leah, I’m just staying for an extra day or two. No worries.”
“See if you can bunk with Darren for a few days,” she suggested with a playful wink. “Want me to head back to Memphis?”
“Selfishly, I kind of want you to stay.”
“Then, I’ll stay. Keep me posted on things, superstar. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” I said.
Leah went back to the hotel, leaving me in the house I grew up in alone with my thoughts.
The only interruptions that I got from my various trains of thought were a variety of phone calls that I was receiving. Many were from family friends or people that knew me and wanted to send their condolences.
However, three of the calls came from Darren. He never left a voicemail, but I knew why he was calling. The dinner that I had arranged wasn’t going to come to fruition, and he was likely wondering where I was.
I was in bed in the bedroom that I’d grown up in, watching funny videos on my phone as I began to drift off to sleep. I didn’t answer his calls. But, in his defense, I wasn’t answering most of the calls that were coming in. He began to text me, asking me where I was. I didn’t respond to those, either.
I wasn’t ignoring him out of bitterness. I wasn’t trying to make a point or make him feel bad. I had fully intended on going out and seeing him that night. But, it’s not every day that you spend grieving the loss of one of your parents. I hoped that Darren would understand.
Chapter 9
Darren
Garrett and I both returned to work the day after Wayne’s funeral. I’d
been in a melancholy mood after things hadn’t gone according to plan with Bailey. Fortunately, my boss, co-workers, and clients didn’t question my mood or try to be intrusive.
I knew the time was coming when I’d start to spill my guts, and my cue was when Garrett and I were in the company truck, riding toward an A/C install job, and Bailey’s new song came back on the radio again.
Garrett laughed. “Still really fucking weird.”
“Hearing her on the radio?” I asked.
“Telling you, Bailey Wright’s gonna put Rome, Georgia on the map just by being from here,” he said. “If you would have told me anyone from here was going to make it onto the Billboard Top 100, I’d have said you were batshit crazy. Yet, there she is.”
No matter how many times I’d heard her voice over my car stereo, it never ceased to amaze me. I was completely in sync with Garrett on his assessment. She and I had talked about having music careers and making a living doing what we loved for so many years. I never thought either of us would actually make it. Even though one of us had, it still hadn’t fully processed with me.
“How was dinner with you two last night?” Garrett asked me.
“There wasn’t dinner last night after all,” I replied.
“Why, what happened?”
I laughed. “Eh. Sort of got stood up.”
“Ah, shit,” he said. “Damn. I guess she can do that now that she’s big time.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I said. “I didn’t think she was going to want to hang out like that right after her dad’s funeral, you know?”
“Well sure, but she invited you, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe she stood you up on purpose,” he said.
I shook my head. “She wouldn’t do that.”
“Ah, I don’t know dude,” he said. “I was talking to her friend Leah at the funeral.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s probably nothing,” he backtracked. “Just that she said Bailey was really disappointed that you didn’t chase a music career with her. She really wanted you to go to Tennessee with her. She was upset that you didn’t go with her for a long time, supposedly. Like, years.”
My heart dropped. “Years?”
“Years. As in many,” he confirmed. “Evidently, you stayed on her mind.”
Now, the idea of her blowing me off didn’t even remotely bother me. I’d convinced myself that after she left Rome, everything and everyone within the city limits no longer crossed her mind. Except her dad, of course. The idea that she kept me anywhere within the recesses of her mind bothered me.
“Tell you what,” said Garrett, smacking my shoulder. “We should go out tonight, have some drinks and take your mind off her.”
“It’s Wednesday,” I told him. “You want to go out drinking tonight?”
“Hump day, bro,” he nodded. “We can go chill at Bart’s Bar. They do that music thing every other Wednesday.”
“Oh, yeah,” I remembered. “Fine, I’m down. Let’s do that tonight.”
That “music thing” that Garrett was referring to was something Bart’s did twice a month where it was an open-mic night for music. Bart’s was a local bar where they let people from the crowd go up and play music or just sing, if they felt more inclined to do karaoke. It was usually embarrassing, loud, obnoxious, and a lot of fun.
Garrett and I got to Bart’s just a little before nine, hoping to arrive to a decent crowd but still find a suitable seat. We bought some strong drinks, a pitcher of beer and got comfortable as we watched some guys from a garage band butcher a Nirvana song.
“Lot of folks here tonight!” Garrett yelled over the crowd.
I nodded, scanning around to see if I knew anyone. Most of the guys alone or in groups were older, and the cute girls all had a guy with them.
“Some hot chicks here, too!” he continued. “Which ones should we buy drinks for? I’m eyeing that blonde near the left of the stage. See her?”
“Her boyfriend went out for a smoke,” I informed him.
He groaned. “Really? Shit, I wanted a piece of that.”
“I don’t think there are any single chicks here tonight,” I said.
As we nursed our beers and pounded our rums and vodka, we found ourselves singing along with the terribly humiliating performances that took place in front of us.
“You should go up there!” Garrett suggested to me.
“And play with what?” I asked. “I don’t have my guitar.”
“Borrow a guitar from one of these fuckers on the stage,” said Garrett. “None of them are using them right, anyway.”
I laughed him off while also considering it. The guys on stage did suck.
Shortly after the guys on stage finished, I became aware that two single women had finally walked through Bart’s doors. And, oddly enough, Garrett and I knew them well.
Bailey and Leah entered, looking too sexy for their own good and grabbing the attention of nearly every man in the place. Bailey had on a blouse that was revealing but tasteful, while Leah had a dress on that left little to the imagination.
The girls went straight to the bar with purpose. I elbowed Garrett and pointed them out to him.
He chuckled. “I’ll be goddamned. That’s a sign right there, brother.”
“A sign?”
“These are the girls we’re supposed to drink and hook up with tonight. Let’s go to the bar and get some shots.” He winked.
“Hold up, man,” I said keeping him down. “Settle the fuck down.”
“Why?” he asked in disbelief.
“Because!” I yelled. “She didn’t want to see me. She came here to get away from me. Probably to bang some guy she doesn’t even know and will never see again.”
“Dude, don’t talk like that,” he said shaking his head. “That ain’t you.”
Garrett stood up and stared over at the girls, hoping one of them would notice us.
Unprompted by Garrett’s annoying looks, Bailey managed to spot us through the sea of staring faces. She and I locked eyes, and for a moment, I thought she was going to grab her bag and run right out the door.
Instead, Leah looked over and saw us too. They got their drinks and headed over to us, occasionally being stopped by horny gawkers.
“Here they come,” I said anxiously.
“What the hell are you so nervous about?” Garrett asked. “We’ve known Bailey our whole life, and her friend walked in wet.”
“Clearly you haven’t paid attention to a word I’ve said.” I sighed.
I stood up, ready to greet the girls. I pulled up two chairs to join ours.
“Well, well,” said Bailey grinning. “Fancy running into y’all over here!”
“No kidding.” I laughed. “Small damn world.”
“It sure is,” she agreed. “Are those chairs for us?”
“Who else?” chimed Garrett.
We all gave each other quick hugs and settled into our chairs.
“So, what brought you ladies here tonight?” Garrett asked them.
“Bailey told me about this place,” Leah answered. “It sounded like a lot of fun! I wanted to come check it out.”
“How about that,” Garrett said. “And y’all got drinks? The gentlemen have to get the drinks!”
“You can buy the next round,” Leah said.
“So, what’ve we missed?” Bailey asked us.
“Well, you missed a woman that sings in her church choir totally mutilate a Donna Summer song,” I told her.
“Ah, I hate when that happens,” Bailey said.
“She looked like she wanted to go again,” I said. “You bring your guitar? You could go up and there and play whatever you want before you get too recognizable to go anywhere.”
“I’ve been singing and writing for like a month straight,” said Bailey. “Right now, I just want to relax, have some drinks, and turn off the world for a while.”
“How are you doing?” I asked her. “You know, wit
h everything?”
“Well, how is anyone after their dad dies?” she asked rhetorically. “I’ll be fine. I’m not great, obviously. But in time, you know? How’ve you been?”
“You mean since I saw you yesterday?” I laughed.
“Hey, a lot can happen in a day, you never know.”
“I’m okay. I’m not great, either. I miss your dad, too.”
“I do, too,” Garrett chimed in.
I was nervous that there would be uncomfortable tension or bad vibes after she chose not to meet up with me before, but thankfully it was all good. Neither of us mentioned anything about the other night or even any recent night.
What we did talk about were days and nights that I hadn’t thought about or discussed in many years. The more we all drank together, the more we’d all reminisce about the old days. Poor Leah was mostly an audience member since she only knew Bailey, but she was enjoying hearing tales of old. We talked about it all: high school antics, road trips that had gone horribly wrong, bonfires. Even simple, funny anecdotes that had no purpose or deep meaning were awesome to talk about. All of it made me realize how much I missed how things used to be.
Once Bailey and I had too many drinks, Garrett had taken over as the main conversationalist. It became difficult to contribute because he mainly directed the conversation at Leah. Garrett was good at telling stories, so Bailey and I didn’t mind slouching back.
“I still remember the first time Bailey ever tried alcohol,” said Garrett.
“Oh, God,” Bailey groaned. “I’m gonna get sick just thinking about it.”
We all laughed.
“What’s the story?” Leah asked with intrigue.
“It was during the first high school football game of the season,” said Garrett. “I was almost graduated by then.”
“Yeah, I was only a sophomore,” said Bailey.
“Darren and I were no strangers to liquor by then,” said Garrett. “He’d been trying to get this girl to drink for years. We didn’t think she was ever gonna drink.”
“And, look at me now!” shouted Bailey, nearly falling out of her seat.
