by Tia Siren
“What can I get y’all tonight, darling?” the server asked Darren.
“I think I’ll start with a margarita,” he told her. “I don’t know if I’m eating anything yet tonight.”
I was staring at him, focusing intently on his every move. Every twitch, every blink, each time his gorgeous mouth opened. I hated how hot he was.
“Ma’am?” the server asked me.
I snapped out of it. “I’ll have a vodka raspberry. Nothing to eat.”
“Sounds good,” the server said before she walked off.
“You don’t have to drink tonight,” said Darren.
“Hey, if you’re drinking, I’m going to keep up,” I said.
I looked around, wondering about everyone there. I thought about their stories, filling in my ideas.
In almost no time, our drinks were brought to us. We picked them up at the same time.
“Cheers,” we said, clinking our glasses together.
We downed our drinks like we’d been thirsting in the desert. We looked into each other’s eyes for several seconds. We didn’t speak, but we read each other’s thoughts.
“This sucks.” I sighed.
“What?”
“I’m going back to Tennessee here soon. And, you’re going to stay here. And, I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”
“Let’s not think about things that haven’t happened yet,” said Darren. “Let’s stay here, now. For the time being.”
We kept looking around, lingering on various things for small increments of time, always peeking at each other from the corners of our eyes.
Our server returned, asked us if we wanted another drink, and we concurred.
As she walked to the bar, I returned my full attention to Darren. “Hey.”
He stared at me, grinning. “Hey, missy.”
“I don’t understand why you took me here,” I said. “I like this place, but why did you want to come here tonight?”
“You’ve been really busy looking out into the crowd,” said Darren. “You haven’t looked at some things very close to you right now.”
I didn’t comprehend what he meant at first, but then it hit me. I turned to look at the wall our booth was seated against. My heart skipped a beat.
On the wall of this booth, there was nothing but articles and pictures of me. Every inch of the wall held an accomplishment of Bailey Wright to show to the town. It was unbelievable, overwhelming, and somehow, I knew the context before Darren could explain.
“I spent a lot of nights here with your dad,” he explained. “Sometimes we’d drink and shoot the shit, other times, we’d come to watch a game, sit back and chill. We never said too much, explicitly about what was going on inside. But, it was obvious. We missed you terribly. We shared that, so we bonded.
“Your father was your biggest fan in the whole wide world. There will be many young girls that connect with what you’re saying, but no one will support you quite like your dad did. It breaks my heart, but this is a reminder now. Look at all that you’ve achieved since you left here. You made the right call. No one blames you for leaving. You have a mighty fan-base here in Rome, and I’ll say it’s because of your dad. You filled up the wall. He was trying to get Chris to give him another wall to further spread your influence. But now, everyone that comes here and sits in this booth is met with tales and news about Bailey Wright and how she’s putting Rome on the map.”
I was crying like an unbelievable baby, but I didn’t care. Our server came by with our drinks, ensuring that she caught my gaze for a few moments.
“What?” I asked her.
“I just realized you’re the girl in all those pictures on the wall,” said our server. “I always wondered if you were ever going to show up one day. That’s awesome!”
“Thank you,” I mumbled weakly. I hadn’t been able to stop crying. I could barely look at my wall.
“Your dad loved you dearly, and he knew you loved him,” said Darren. “Don’t ever doubt it. And, just because, well, even though he’s no longer with us, he ain’t really gone. He’ll always be with us in some way.”
“I know,” I said with intense joy. I loved hearing him say that because I wanted to believe that so badly.
“So, you get why we’re here?” he asked.
I nodded, wiping away my tears. “I’m sorry.”
“You know you don’t ever apologize for your feelings in front of me,” he stated firmly. “And, I’m not angry at you. I’m not resentful or anything that you’re going to have to leave again. I’m not looking forward to you going is all. I miss you already, and you haven’t left yet.”
“I feel the same way.”
“I’m really proud of you,” he said.
We continued to drink alcohol, but we didn’t overdo it. We watched some football and played some darts, and we had a nice night.
The problem then became that I wasn’t lingering on my dad, but on Darren. I wanted him to take me back to his house and fuck me the way we did the night before. I loved feeling our intense ember bursting into a bonfire the longer we engaged in our taboo desires.
I was worried though because, at certain points, it didn’t feel like we were fucking. It felt like the many years we shared, along with our deepest feelings, came emanating out of him as he gave himself to me. I hesitated to think of it as “making love,” but I couldn’t think of a better term for it.
We looked toward the door. I thought about him taking me into the backseat of his car and riding me like he did when he first penetrated me again after so many years.
We paid our tab and slowly made our way back to his car. We both weren’t walking straight.
“Think we might need to get a cab,” I said.
“We’re not far from home,” said Darren. “I can drive, don’t worry.”
I stopped him before he could open his car door. I pulled him in for a hug, holding him close to me, tight against my body.
“Thank you for bringing me here tonight,” I whispered. “I needed that.”
“You’re welcome.”
He tried getting back in his car again, but I kept a tight grip on his hand. I didn’t want him driving.
“I swear I can drive,” he said.
“Maybe you can, but I don’t want you leaving right this second,” I said. “Give it a minute. You got a water in your car?”
Thankfully, he did have a bottle of water in his car. We both drank from it, downing the bottle in under a minute.
“I think I’ll get a cab or an Uber,” I told him. “I’ll stay at my dad’s place.”
“Hey, remember that annual cookout the city would throw by the park?” he asked.
“Yeah, sure,” I recalled. “I don’t think that’s for another couple of months, isn’t it?”
“They do them monthly now,” he said. “They still do them at the same spot, but they do them on Sundays, afternoon and night. I’d love to take you to it if you’re up for it. If you’re still going to be here.”
“I’d love to,” I said. “Let’s do that tomorrow.”
“Sounds like a plan, milady,” he winked. He went for his car door again, flinging it open before I had a chance to stop him.
“You’re really going to drive like this?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t drive if I couldn’t,” he said in a reassuring attempt.
I ran over to my side, flinging the passenger door open and collapsing down.
“I’m not letting you drive without a co-pilot,” I said. “Even if I’m drunk, better that than nothing!”
I was a useless navigator, but true to his word, Darren got us both to our respective homes safely. I was texting Leah, learning that she was at the airport to fly back to Memphis. I gave her a call once I was home alone.
“Are you on your plane yet?”
“Nah, it was running late,” Leah said. “I’m still in line.”
“Fucking bummer!” I shouted.
She laughed. “Someone’s been drinking.”
“A little bit,” I said. “You should have stayed. We all could’ve gone to Chris’ together. I sit with Darren, you sit with Garrett.”
Leah snorted. “Okay, sure.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said. “I thought you had a good time with him.”
“I did!” she said. “It was fine. He’s such a nice guy, and he’s sweet and funny.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“If I’m totally honest,” she began, “he switched off after he blew his load. It took him like no time to cum. Then after he had his turn, I never got mine.”
I groaned. “Oh. Fucking bummer.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.” She laughed. “Garrett is a good guy, but I’m not sure he’s quite my type.”
“Oh, well,” I said.
“So, when are you getting on a plane, superstar?” Leah asked. “We have to get back to work.”
“I’m writing new music,” I told her. “So, I’m working.”
“We need to make a decision about this record label,” she stressed. “They’re patient, but they’re starting to ask questions pretty frequently.”
“I’m coming back soon, don’t you worry,” I told her. “You have a safe flight back. I’ll let you know what’s going on.”
We hung up, and I fell down onto my old bed, sinking into the mattress and passing out almost instantly.
Chapter 15
Darren
I stayed in the house that day on the following Sunday, only opening the door to let Bo out to pee. I thought about the local cookout and what was my best option.
I wanted to be with Bailey as much as possible before she left, but I also knew that the more time I spent with her, the harder it was going to be to say farewell.
It had taken me years to let go of my strong feelings for her, and only a few days to rope them right back. It was tempting to stay in the house with Bo, not looking at my phone, and not making our situation worse. However, to deny seeing her when I knew she was only a ten-minute drive away felt like madness. Nothing felt entirely wrong or right.
I began to truly worry once I started having thoughts about asking her to stay in Rome with me. I’d asked her so many times before she moved, so I didn’t want to sound like a broken record. But, I hated the thought of her leaving.
I quickly understood that my wanting her to stay there was obviously driven by emotions and not common sense. Even with that knowledge, it didn’t change my unreasonable desire.
These intense feelings stayed with me throughout the day and through the night, even as I was getting into my Focus to leave the house and pick up Bailey.
I picked her up for the cookout, seeing her come out in a lovely sundress that showed off her sexy figure wonderfully. We stayed quiet during the entire car ride, letting the music from the radio fill the silence.
I periodically checked my phone to text Garrett. He was meeting us at the park near the musical stage they had set up. He had arrived there before us, wanting to get in on the delicious food as quickly as possible.
We parked a few roads away from the grounds since there were hundreds of cars lined up all around the place. We walked toward the stage, letting the increasingly louder music guide us. The mood was set already, and we both felt our energy building.
We found Garrett by the stage. He had a burger plate and a plate with grilled chicken and vegetables. Bailey and I eyed the food, then ended up trying it all and jamming to the music on the stage.
Garrett leaned in to Bailey. “So, where’s Leah?”
“I’m sorry?” said Bailey.
“I thought Leah was coming out tonight!” he said.
“Oh. Right.”
Her eyes returned to the stage, while Garrett’s only conveyed confusion.
He scooted closer to me, just out of earshot from Bailey. “What’s that about?”
“Huh?” I asked.
“Why did she blow me off about Leah?” he asked. “Did I come on too strong?”
“I think Leah’s back in Tennessee,” I remarked. “Ask Bailey.”
“No, that’s okay,” he said. “Sucks, though. I was hoping she and I could pick up where we left off, you know?”
“There’s some cute girls here tonight,” I told him. “Why don’t we try and fix you up with someone nice tonight?”
We didn’t work hard on matchmaking for Garrett, but we all had a great time together. We wandered through the grounds, sampling different foods, trying a variety of beers, singing various songs. It felt like old times, but even better than how my memory had retained it. I didn’t want our night to end.
As I was finishing my third hot dog and starting to feel stuffed, a young girl came walking up to us. She was shaking, red-faced and nervous as hell.
“Are you Bailey Wright?” the little girl asked.
Bailey beamed, bending over slightly to get on her level.
“Yes, I am!” Bailey replied. “And, who might you be?”
“Samantha,” the little girl answered.
“Samantha, I would be so down to get a selfie with you,” gushed Bailey. “What do you think? Picture?”
“Yeah!” Samantha almost cried.
Bailey happily talked with Samantha, while Samantha’s mother was busy getting her phone out to take pictures. I stood back, watching, enjoying how much Bailey was enjoying her taste of fame.
“So, what you gonna do, homie?” Garrett asked me playfully.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You know damn well what I mean.” He nudged me in the side. “Dude, you’ve got love in your eyes so bad for her! Come on, let’s stop fucking around.”
“I don’t have anything in my eyes for no one,” I snapped. “I’m just here having a good time with my two closest friends. Can’t we just have that for a while?”
Garrett nodded but didn’t heed my words. “When you moving to Tennessee?”
I sighed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t know what’s been going on with you two, but you gotta—”
“I don’t gotta do anything,” I said with pure agitation. “You’re right. You don’t know what’s been going on with her and me. So, mind your own business.”
“Gee whiz, bro, sorry.”
I instantly felt bad. I tried shoving him on the shoulder playfully.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I’m not ready for her to leave. And, I want her so goddamn bad. But, I—we’re—”
Bailey was taking many pictures with Samantha and one of Samantha’s older sisters. They all looked like they were in heaven. It was really cute.
I sighed again. “We have work tomorrow. Let’s talk about it then, all right?”
“Fine,” he consented. “But, I definitely know you two did it.”
I smirked, chuckling. He shoved me in the shoulder.
“Ah?” he continued. “You two totally hooked up, didn’t you?”
“I’m neither confirming nor denying. Let’s leave that for another day. How about that?” I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.
After their photo session was complete, the three of us scooted next to the stage, sitting down close together with me in the middle. We listened to the music, carrying on casual small talk during the slow parts of a song. We were digesting our food and pondering on what direction the night was going to go.
Bailey sat into me, holding her phone out, aiming the phone’s front camera on us. I saw our reflection on her phone, and I instantly felt weird.
“What’s this?” I said into her ear.
“We’re taking some selfies!” she replied. “I’m going to pop your selfie cherry here tonight, baby! I hope you’re ready for it.”
We took selfies together, each subsequent one improving subtly on their predecessors. It was hard for me to find a suitable pose and face for it. I didn’t ordinarily take pictures that had me in them.
After we were done, she was texting me all of the selfies she’d taken. I loved
them, but it had nothing to do with the guy in the frame. I would treasure these pictures because I could see more of her. Although I had to admit, it felt good to see me look happy again.
The stage had gone quiet, and the crowd began talking more among themselves. I put my arm around Bailey’s shoulder, attempting to be as nonchalant about it as possible.
“So, how much longer do I have you?” I whispered to her.
“I’m not sure,” she answered. “I can kind of go whenever I want. I’m writing, so I’m getting some work done, sort of.”
“Oh, nice!” I said. “How does it go?”
“‘How does it go?’”
“I mean, what does it sound like? What are the lyrics? Or the chords. Do you remember? If it’s new, I guess you wouldn’t. I’m shutting up now.”
I felt like a complete fool. I’d only had a few beers, so I wasn’t drunk. I hadn’t become like that around a woman in a long time. I felt like a kid.
She smiled empathetically. “I don’t have the music written yet, just the lyrics. I know how I want it to sound, but I’m not sure what I want to do instrumentally.”
“We used to do it acapella all the time back in the day,” I recalled. “If you’re down, you should sing it.”
“You’re asking for that after you wouldn’t play or sing with me when I wanted?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “Buddy, this music stuff has to work for both of us. We do things as a team, you should remember this.”
“I remember,” I said while I thought about how masochistic I felt.
The more it felt like my forgotten past was returning, the more conflicted I became. I thought about how I didn’t want it to end. I was so desperate for us to stay alive that I was contemplating going to Memphis for a visit.
Then, like a hot knife cutting through me and disconnecting my train of thought, Bailey’s voice rang into the air:
“Are you real? Are you really here beside me?
Do you feel? Do you feel that spark between us?
It’s not just in my head. It’s in the way you love me.
Our moment isn’t dead. It’s in the darkness waiting, waiting to return
You’re better than reality, better than my imagination…”
