by Tia Siren
“Why is this such an issue for you?” I asked. “You were somewhat fine with what I was doing for a while until the past two weeks. What’s changed?”
“Nothing has changed,” she said defensively. “Why would you even ask me that question? I’m glad you’re back home with me is all.”
I shook my head at her in disbelief. “I don’t believe you. Something isn’t right. So why don’t you just be honest with me about what is going on here?”
For a long time, she kept her gaze focused on the table to hide her emotions. I waited patiently for her to say something, to hint at the real reason why she had been so insistent about me coming home.
“I’ve been thinking long and hard about this entire situation of yours,” she said. “I just think that maybe Sid is in need of some counseling is all. Running away really was a foolish decision, Joanna. It only added fuel to that fire.”
“I thought I was protecting myself.”
“Wrong,” she said, shaking her head. “Bastian thought he was protecting you. Was going away even your idea?”
I clicked my mouth shut to keep that response to myself. A majority of my life had been spent trying to appease everyone in my life—including Sid. Even Bastian. I had let both men take complete reign of my life without question.
“You’re right that I should’ve been in control,” I said. “It was just a bad situation, Mom. Sid hurt me. He has been hurting me for a long time. Don’t you see that?”
“I have never seen it,” she said. “I just never saw what you were describing to me. He’s a cop too, Joanna. Did it ever occur to you that maybe his job is a bit stressful?”
I set my coffee down on the table with a noise of disgust. “You’re defending him. You’re actually defending him.”
“I’m not defending him,” she said in exasperation, holding up her hands. “All I’m saying is that these sorts of things never happened back in my day. Sure, your father had some rough days while working at the bank. We got into our fair share of arguments—”
“He never hit you, though,” I interrupted. “Not once, Mom. I have never seen Dad speak to you the way Sid speaks to me.”
Her eyes narrowed at me. “Is it any different from how Bastian speaks to you?”
“Of course it is! He doesn’t make me feel like a shitty person. That’s a good thing in my eyes. And he never strangled me or threatened to kill me.”
A knock on the front door stopped the conversation quickly in its tracks. I sat back in the dining room chair in disbelief while my mother rose from her chair, not willing to let whoever was at the door wait.
“All I’m saying is that people are angry for a reason,” she said. “Sometimes that anger is taken out in the wrong way. I won’t condone abuse, but maybe there’s more to it that you aren’t thinking about.”
The headache pounding in my temples only worsened. Coming back home had been a mistake. A major one. It was vividly clear whose side my mother had picked, and it certainly wasn’t mine. I rose from the table to grab the handset. Bastian’s cell phone number was on my fingertips when the kitchen door opened behind me.
“Hello, Joanna.”
The phone slipped from my fingers. Cold fear crawled up my spine as I slowly twisted around to find Sid standing in kitchen with my mother right behind him. His dark eyes flicked up and down me in a scrutinizing manner that instantly made me flinch back from him. He hated it whenever I didn’t shower first thing in the morning. He liked how my mother was always dressed and ready to go in the mornings.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” I stammered, wishing I hadn’t dropped the phone. “I told you to stay away from me.”
“Your mother invited me here,” Sid said. He turned to look back at her with a smile. “She was very kind enough to hear my side of the story.”
I looked over Sid’s shoulder to catch my mother’s eyes. The smile on her face faltered ever so slightly when I let the hurt I was feeling flash on my face.
“I just thought it would be appropriate to hear him out,” she said. “Hear his side of things, Joanna. It’s not a bad thing to talk to each other.”
Sid took a step forward into the kitchen. I got up and took a step back to keep the distance between us as he scooped up the phone from the floor. He handed it over to my mother before I could ask for it back—a subtle isolation trick of his. Take away any chance of me ever trying to contact help.
“Just hear me out,” Sid said and nodded to the table. A warning flickered in his eyes when I didn’t move. “Please? I’d hate to argue with your mother standing right here. It might hurt her to hear it.”
The threat didn’t pass me by. With my fingers trembling, I slowly sank down in a chair across from him while my mother closed the kitchen door to give us privacy. Which was exactly what Sid wanted judging from the pleased look he sent her direction.
“You see, Joanna? Your mother gets it. She gets how to be a good wife and when to listen to someone.”
“You manipulated her into coming here,” I said through clenched teeth. “She’s oblivious to the fact that you can charm almost anyone. What do you want?”
He reached a hand across the table, but I pulled myself back from his touch. He ignored the movement, though, by snatching out to grab ahold of my hand. Pain shot up my arm as he yanked me into the table to bring our heads close together.
“I’ve had enough of chasing you around for the past few weeks,” he said into my face, the smell of cologne and coffee thick. “I know that you’ve been shacking up with that boss of yours in Park City. It’s not that difficult to figure out where you’ve been.”
I squirmed beneath Sid’s iron grasp. “I don’t want to be around you, Sid. You aren’t the man I once loved years ago. You’ve changed.”
“Your mother is right. A job can change you. The things I see in a day…” He trailed off with a glazed look in his eyes. “It’s horrendous. I carry those demons inside me every damn day I clock out of my shift.”
“I know that. It’s not—”
His fingers dug into the tendons of my wrist painfully. “And it would be nice to hear some appreciation for it, Jo. Money means nothing at the end of the day.”
“I never said it was meaningful.” I gasped, trying to pry his fingers away. “Stop it, Sid. You’re hurting me.”
“Only because you’ve done it to me,” he replied smoothly. “You ripped my heart into pieces by doing what you’ve done.”
Tears coated my eyes. I couldn’t escape even if my life depended on it, or my mother’s. Sid never hesitated to shoot and then explain later. That was who he was.
“I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore,” I whispered. “It’s over. I’m done. Just please leave me alone.”
“It’s not over until I say it is,” Sid hissed venomously into my face. “You hear me, Joanna? It’s not over. Far from it. You think your boss’s troubles are just beginning?”
“What troubles are you talking about?”
Sid flashed a dangerous grin. “Ah, so you do have some feelings there. That’s all right, my dear. I am willing to give it some time for you to get over them.”
He released my wrist. I immediately wrapped my other hand around the bruised flesh, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“I’m only going to say this once,” he said, “so pay attention. If you come back to me, nothing will happen to your boss. All his troubles will be gone.”
“What troubles?” I asked, even though it was pointless. Sid had some sort of advantage, and he wasn’t going to reveal it. Not to me at least.
Sid leaned back in his chair to stretch out his back. I caught sight of the holster at his hip before he rose. I scooted back in my chair when he rounded the corner to press his lips against mine forcefully. My stomach churned with nausea at the taste of him.
He drew back before fisting his hand into my hair. He tugged hard, and I felt a few strands break free.
“You have until tonight,” he said quietly. “
And remember, Jo, I have this entire house bugged. I can hear your phone calls. I see who is here. If you say anything, even to your mother, I will kill the both of you and then that prick of a boss.”
Chapter 29
Bastian
There were only a few places that I knew Joanna would’ve gone to. I tapped a pen impatiently against the notepad I had been scribbling down notes on throughout my conference with a few other executives in my office. I needed to concentrate, to let the idea of Joanna go if I wanted to save my business. That much was clear judging from when the police investigators arrived earlier in the morning to question me about my conduct in my office.
Sid’s men doing his dirty work. That much I could sense from their pointed questions about my relationship with Joanna. He wanted information about our relationship, but in truth, I had no fucking clue what to even say. She’d run out on me, too. I now knew how that prick felt.
Concern tore through me, though. A part of me wondered if this was a ruse of some sort or a scare tactic to keep me away from Joanna. If Sid had gotten back to her, then there would never be any hope of having Joanna back in my life. His fangs would be buried even deeper into that woman’s already battered heart.
“Motherfucker,” I whispered, tapping my pen hard enough for it to bleed all over the notepad. I tossed the pen into the trash in aggravation.
I spotted Sabrina going over a file near Roger’s desk. Both of their heads were ducked together as they read over something. I doubted that Joanna would’ve gone to Sabrina’s apartment, but it was worth a shot. I knew Sabrina had her ways of getting Joanna to give up information, too—something I could use to my benefit.
I reached over to page Roger’s desk. “Roger, send Sabrina in here. I need to speak with her.”
They both jumped at the sound of my voice cutting through Roger’s phone. Sabrina slowly handed over the file to Roger before heading into my office. She ghosted through the doorway in obvious hesitation.
“Did you need to see me, Mr. Burke?”
“Close the damn doors,” I snapped, motioning for her to come inside. “I need to talk to you about something without the entire office listening in.”
She closed the doors without hesitation. Twisting her hands together nervously, she waited for me to gesture for her to sit down on the edge of her chair. I folded my hands together in front of me on the desk while I gazed across it at Sabrina, who shifted anxiously in her chair.
“I need you to be honest with me,” I said.
Sabrina’s eyes widened. “Of course.”
“Good. The both of us are well aware that Sid has been searching for Joanna the past few weeks. We know about the lawsuits and everything else.”
“Right,” Sabrina said, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, Mr. Burke.”
“Did Joanna tell you about anything about us?” I asked bluntly. “I have a reason for asking this question. The other day, she left Park City without telling me or any of my staff where she was going. I have a feeling that she is at her mother’s house, but I want to make sure she’s okay.”
“I’m not sure where she is,” Sabrina said. “If I had to guess, her mother’s would be the place she would go to. She didn’t say a word to anyone at your place about it?”
I shook my head at her. “Nothing. Not one single word.”
“That doesn’t seem like her. You know how communicative she is. She always picks up the phone if you call.”
“That’s my point. I have no way of reaching out to her.”
I caught Sabrina’s eyes to watch realization dawn across her face. She instantly reached for her skirt pocket to pull out her phone.
“I’m sorry,” she said, scrolling through her phone. “I know that you don’t like it when your employees have their personal phones on them, but I figure this a good time to keep it on me in case Joanna needs something.”
“I don’t care as long as you can make sure she is okay,” I grumbled and sat back in my chair to watch. I tried to mask the apprehension steadily building inside me while Sabrina called a few numbers before she finally reached Joanna.
“I’m worried about you,” Sabrina said into the phone, her eyes locked on my anxious ones. “No one knows where you went. Did you go back home to your mom?”
She paused to let Joanna answer before nodding in confirmation. I let out a ragged breath of relief before getting up to head to the personnel file room where they kept all the files on employees in case of emergencies. I found Joanna’s name, and to my relief, her mother’s current address was written down. I added the address to my Google Maps before leaving the room to encounter Sabrina again in the hallway.
“Listen, I have to give you the mandatory best friend speech,” she said. “I realize you are my boss by all standards, but Joanna is my close friend. I don’t want to see her get her heart trampled on all over again. If you hurt her, I might just have to break your neck.”
I met Sabrina’s eyes evenly. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m trying to make sure she doesn’t get hurt anymore.”
“Good,” she said. “She’s at home right now if you want to head in her direction to talk to her. I don’t think she knows you’re coming.”
It was tempting. Sorely tempting to rush out of my office again and try to understand what the hell she was thinking. I had provided everything to keep her protected, and I’d let down my guard to win her heart over. This was how I was paid back?
I shook my head as I went back to my office to get through the rest of the afternoon. I couldn’t arouse any more suspicion, so I forced myself to sit through the rest of the day’s meetings. I could feel the lingering glances on me. I could hear the whispers whenever I walked by a few offices. This bullshit lawsuit cooked up by Sid was starting to get underneath my skin. Everyone in the office knew about it, but no one could offer any possible leads on who this supposed victim was.
I had to plaster a fake smile on my face whenever someone swiveled around to look at me when I passed by them. I forced pleasantries with the workers’ union representatives, who had made their presence well-known around the office by now in case anyone needed to talk to them about something they found inappropriate.
None of it would go away until Joanna went back to Sid. I knew deep down in the pit of my soul that it would never stop until something happened to Sid.
The rest of the day breezed by in a series of meetings and a few calls. I handed off a few documents to Roger that needed to be faxed before five.
“Make sure these companies get these today,” I said. “And I’m heading out for the evening. I’ll be back in the office first thing in the morning.”
“Yes, sir. Is there anything else that you need done?”
“Nothing at the moment,” I said crisply. “Thank you, Roger. You can go home after faxing those off for me.”
I gathered my things from my office before heading down to the parking garage. After pulling up the directions to Joanna’s mother’s house, I drove around Salt Lake aimlessly for a good hour just to make sure no one was following me. I had a gut feeling that Sid knew. The guy was a crooked cop with resources. I had my resources also to find out where Joanna was.
The small middle-class suburb was fifteen minutes outside Salt Lake. I parked outside a two-story, modest house with gray paint and stone. All the lights were off besides the one upstairs. I watched as someone walked by the window before I hopped out from behind the steering wheel.
I wanted answers. I wanted to know why running away from me seemed like the better option after everything I had done to protect her. That was all I was trying to do.
Snow and ice crunched beneath my shoes as I walked along the small, curved pathway to the front porch. I knocked gently on the door, unsure of who was awake. The last thing I wanted to do was meet Joanna’s mother late at night, unprepared to give her an answer as to why I was standing outside her front doorstep like a fool.
&
nbsp; The hallway light clicked on a few seconds later. The sound of locks clicking filled the night before the door opened partially. Joanna peered out through the crack of the door before her eyes widened visibly in surprise. She opened the door all the way.
“Bastian? What are you doing here?”
“I came here because I couldn’t get ahold of you,” I said. Guilt filled her eyes. “I didn’t know if something had happened to you. And that phone was a gift to you by the way.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “My mom is upstairs asleep. I should’ve told you that it was better for me to leave.”
Bitterness sprouted inside me. I planted my hands firmly on the doorframe to look her directly in the eye.
“Why though?” I whispered back. “Why did you think it was better to leave? After everything—”
Joanna glanced up abruptly. She grabbed the sleeve of my coat to tug me into the small foyer.
“If we’re going to talk, come talk inside the guest room downstairs,” she said. “I don’t want to wake her up.”
I followed her through a dark hallway to a door near a kitchen. She led me down the cold concrete stairs to what appeared to be a redone basement that was a now a large guest room. I waited while she clicked on an electric heater to combat the chill in the room. It also gave me plenty of time to admire her in the white nightgown of hers that swished about her pale and smooth legs. I could also see her nipples, hardened and dark from the cold winter air.
Lust spiraled through me at the sight. I suppressed that to deal with another time. For now, I wanted answers. I wanted to know why she had made the decision to leave.
“I left because I thought you were leaving me,” Joanna said as she played with a ribbon on her nightgown. “You were distant, Bastian. I can’t keep dealing with those sorts of ups and downs anymore. Then I heard you had cut me from the payroll. I just thought you were going to leave me.”
“I never wanted to leave you,” I said, aghast by the thought. “You couldn’t have picked up the phone to ask what was going on?”
Joanna’s eyes narrowed in anger. “No,” she said flatly. “You know how hard it is to talk to you when you shut people out?”
