I waltzed out into the living room wearing my robe tied loosely around my body. Caleb was standing in the middle of the room looking at his phone.
“Hey, baby,” he said.
“Hey,” I said. I sauntered over to him, letting the robe fall open and reveal some of my breasts. I slipped my arms around my waist, and stretched up to kiss him.
Caleb gave me a quick peck on the lips. “I hate to say this, but I have to run back to the office. We finally got the gag order lifted on some of the documents. I don’t have much time if we want to be ready for court in a couple of days.”
“Oh, you just got here,” I said. I felt like I barely saw him anymore. He was always running here and there.
Caleb turned towards me and slung his arms low around my waist. “I hate to leave you. But I’m doing this for us.”
“I know,” I said, nodding.
“I ordered you a pizza. It should be here soon.” Caleb gave me another kiss before he rushed out the door.
Pizza again? I wondered. This would be the second time in a week I’d eaten pizza. Caleb only allowed takeout once every other week. It seemed odd, but I brushed it off. The poor thing was working so hard, and he didn’t have to follow his own rules if he didn’t want to.
That night, after putting Joshua to bed, I collapsed on the couch, exhausted. I turned on a movie I’d been wanting to see, and promptly fell asleep. Two hours later, I woke up to Joshua crying, and an infomercial blaring on TV.
After Joshua nursed, he wasn’t ready to back to sleep. He squirmed in my lap, trying to sit up, and charming me with his chubby cheeked smiles. I rocked him and sang to him, and finally he calmed down. When his little eyelids were growing heavy, I heard the front door open and Caleb walk in. I wanted to say something to him, but I didn’t want to wake Joshua up. By the time Joshua fell asleep and I went into our bedroom, Caleb was in bed, fast asleep.
I quietly crawled into bed next to my husband and kissed his peaceful face. Caleb barely stirred.
*
Over the next month, Caleb was busy with work, I was busy with the baby, and it felt like we kept missing each other. Though I knew our life was blessed, I sometimes missed how it used to be, when Caleb and I could concentrate on each other, when our bond was so strong that nothing could come between us.
Nothing could come between us now, I reminded myself. We were just at a unique time in our lives. Once Caleb made partner, and I got used to this whole ‘taking care of another human being thing,’ we would settle into a more normal routine.
The good news was, Joshua started taking longer, more consistent naps. I could count on him to sleep for two hours in the morning, and another two hours in the afternoon, and was thus able to plan my day. He had also stopped nursing in the middle of the night, allowing me to get some much needed rest. I was able make time for myself, and get some housework done. This did wonders for my mood.
I could also focus on my diet, and squeeze some exercise in. The weight was coming off, slowly but surely. My clothes fit better, but my body was still different. I wondered if some changes were irreversible.
One rare, magical, Saturday night, Caleb didn’t have to work, and his mother, Therese, was available to watch Joshua. We planned a date, and, for the first time in a long time, I left the house. I shed my usual uniform of sweat pants and maternity shirts, and dressed in a slinky black dress with stretchy fabric. It was one of the few dresses I owned that still fit me. I put on my highest heels and examined myself in the mirror.
I had to admit, I did look good.
We went to one of our favorite French restaurants, where we used to go all the time when we didn’t have kids. The maitre d’ greeted us with a kiss on each cheek, and inquired where we’d been for so long. We showed him pictures of Joshua, and he clapped his hands, exclaiming something in French.
“I’ll get the best table for the new parents,” he said. “And two glasses of champagne. On us.”
“I’ve missed this place,” I said as we settled into a small table in a private corner. I studied the menu, and breathed a sigh of relief. “And I’ve certainly missed their sweetbreads. What are you going to get?”
I looked up at Caleb and saw he was staring at me. His eyes softened, and he took my hand. “I’ve missed you, Kristen.”
Tears welled in my eyes. It was good hear that he missed me, and that the distance between us was only physical, not spiritual.
“I’ve missed you too,” I said, grasping his hand. “It’s just a crazy time right now. Things will get back to normal soon.”
“All I do is work,” Caleb said, staring down at the table. “I feel like I’m neglecting you.”
“You’re doing what you have to do to provide,” I said, looking him in the eyes. “No one can fault you for that.”
Caleb nodded. “But I can do better. I can make more time for you.”
I shook my head. “You’re doing the best you can.”
Caleb leaned towards me and whispered in my ear. “We have tonight.”
I shuddered with excitement, and a spark lit inside of me. I looked forward to where this evening would lead, and wondered if Therese could keep Joshua overnight. The waiter brought our complimentary champagne. When we clinked our glasses together, Caleb’s phone dinged.
“Sorry, I have to see what this is,” he said. He swiped open the screen and his face fell.
“What is it?” I asked with a sense of dread.
“Baby, I’m sorry I have to do this.”
“You have to go.”
Caleb shook his head, his face full of regret.
“It’s okay,” I said. “Go do what you have to do. Caleb, I’m rooting for you. I’m here to support you. Don’t feel bad about going after your ambitions.”
Caleb smiled broadly then planted his lips on mine. “I love you so much.” He handed me the car keys. “I’ll take a cab. You can take the car home.” With another kiss, he was gone.
“Ready to order, Madame?” the waiter asked.
I shook my head, thinking of going straight home, when I saw another waiter bring out an order of seared sweetbreads.
“Yes, actually,” I said. “I’ll have the sweetbreads to start, filet mignon, medium rare, and crème brûlée for dessert.”
“And for the monsieur?” the waiter asked.
“Nothing for him. I’ll be dining alone.”
I sipped the champagne while I waited for my order. Though I missed Caleb, this was still a welcome break, where I could sit and enjoy myself without Joshua squirming in my lap and grabbing for everything on the table.
I heard a cell phone ring. The ringtone was different than the one I had, so I knew it wasn’t my phone. When it rang again, I realized it was coming from under Caleb’s napkin. He’d left his cell phone. Without thinking, I picked it up and glanced at the screen. The name Megan showed up. No last name, just Megan. I couldn’t help picturing a young, blonde girl.
It was none of my business, but I had to wonder, who was Megan and why was she calling my husband so late in the evening?
Probably someone he works with, I thought, rationally. If he’s working now, then so were his co-workers, so it made sense that he’d get a call at this time.
I sipped more champagne while my thoughts took a dark turn.
Unless none of them are working tonight, I thought, suspicion creeping into my mind. And all those times he had to run out at night, maybe she was the one he was going to see.
“Oh good, you’re still here.”
Caleb’s voice shook me from my trance. I was so surprised I almost spit out the champagne.
“Hi, honey. I decided to go ahead and order dinner.”
“Good for you. You deserve it,” Caleb said. “Have you seen my phone?”
“Yes, here it is.” I picked it up and handed it to him. “It was ringing earlier.”
I watched Caleb very carefully as he glanced at the screen to see who was calling him. He pursed his lips slightly, then qui
ckly slipped the phone into his pocket.
“Bye, again,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “Enjoy yourself.”
I kept my eyes on Caleb as he navigated his way through the tables. He stopped a waiter and whispered something in his ear. A few minutes later, the same waiter came to my table with another glass of champagne.
“Compliments of your husband, Madame,” he said, placing the delicate glass in front of me.
I thanked him, then watched Caleb exit the restaurant and go off into the night.
*
“You’re crazy,” I said into the mirror as I brushed my teeth. “You’re home all the time and you’re going crazy.”
I’d woken up that morning with sudden clarity. How could I ever even think Caleb would be unfaithful? He was my head of household, my connection to God. He would never do something so vulgar.
“What did you say?” Caleb asked, poking his head in the bathroom door.
“Nothing,” I said, quickly. “I just have a song stuck in my head.”
Caleb smiled. “Okay, then. I’ve got to run. There’s a big meeting first thing this morning.”
Unbidden, an image came to my head of a young, toned woman named Megan, sitting on Caleb’s desk, her legs crossed. I rinsed the toothpaste from my mouth.
“Have a good day,” I mumbled.
Caleb left for work and I went about my morning routine, feeding Joshua, dressing him for the day, playing with his blocks, then putting him down for a morning nap.
“You’re crazy,” I repeated as I poured myself another cup of coffee. But no matter how many times I told myself this, I couldn’t quite make myself believe it.
I decided to prove it to myself once and for all. Megan was Caleb’s co-worker, nothing more. That meant, if I called the office and asked for her, they’d connect me to a woman named Megan. I sat down at the kitchen table and dialed Caleb’s office. The receptionist answered after a few rings.
“Megan, please,” I said.
The receptionist paused. “Do you have a last name?”
“No, I don’t,” I said. “I’m looking for a woman named Megan who works there. I think I found her cat.” I cringed at the stupid lie.
“Hold please.”
I tapped my foot, listening to static.
“Ma’am,” the receptionist said when she returned. “There’s no one here by that name.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled, then hung up the phone.
I gripped my cup of coffee, completely numb. There had to be a rational explanation. If Megan didn’t work with him, then there must be another, completely innocent, reason that she’d be calling him. I contemplated it for a long time, but no answer came to mind. Joshua cried out from his nursery. He was done with his nap and ready to be picked up. I stood up, suddenly feeling tired, and went to get my son.
Caleb didn’t get home until late that evening. I reheated some of the pasta I’d made for supper and served it to him. I nodded and smiled while he talked about the mountain of work he had to do, how much pressure he was under. Silently, I wondered how much of that was true.
After he ate, Caleb worked for a few hours in his home office, then went to bed. I stayed up, waiting for him to fall asleep. When I peaked into our bedroom and heard the soft rise and fall of his breath, I knew I had my chance. Quietly, I searched the dark room for his cell phone, and finally found it on top of the dresser. Clutching it in both hands, I tiptoed out of the room.
I stared at the phone, ready to put this matter to rest. I was still trying to convince myself that Caleb was noble, honorable, and loved only me. Taking a deep breath, I swiped open the phone, and dug into his text messages.
I found Megan’s name, and saw that he’d been texting her for the past few days. The first message was from him.
Found your profile and think we could be a good fit. When is a good time to meet?
I saw red when I read that text. What kind of profile did he mean?
Hey, I’d love to meet you, Megan responded. Anytime’s good for me! She ended the message with a goofy smiley face. She had to be very young, I reasoned.
The messages went on like this, trying to find a good time to meet. When I got to the end, it looked liked Megan and Caleb had finally decided on a time and place.
Neiman’s bakery, Friday, 3:00? Caleb wrote.
Yes, I’ll be there.
Great, Caleb wrote, followed by a goofy smiley face.
I placed the phone carefully back on the table. All attempts to prove myself wrong had so far blown up in my face. Now, I was more of a suspicious mess than ever. The only rational thing to do next was to go to Neiman’s tomorrow afternoon and see if my husband shows up with his mistress.
*
The next morning, I concocted a story about going to get a pedicure and asked Therese if she’d keep Joshua for the day. She agreed, readily, saying she was glad I was taking time for myself. I packed Joshua’s things, and he was ready to go when Therese came to pick him up. I waved from the front porch as they drove off, wishing I was going to relax with my feet in a hot bath, reading a magazine with the massage chair cranked up to the highest intensity. Instead, I was going about the ugly business of spying on my husband.
The whole thing felt wrong. While I got ready to leave the house, I kept trying to talk myself out of it.
You promised to trust and obey, I scolded myself. How can you question your spiritual leader?
But nothing worked. I’d already dug myself in a hole and I had to clamor myself out. I drove across town to Nieman’s Bakery, and parked on the other side of the street. It was almost three o’clock, when Megan and Caleb were set to meet. The bakery had an outdoor terrace in front of the entrance with tables and chairs for customers. I watched people drinking their coffee and eating various pastries, enjoying the warm weather.
From down the block, I saw a woman walk up to the entrance. She went inside, and then a few minutes later, sat on the terrace with a cup of coffee. She wasn’t blonde, but she was young. She had long, thick red hair, and from what I could see, large, perky breasts. I hoped against hope that that wasn’t Megan.
I saw him as soon as he exited his car. Caleb was dressed in the suit he’d left the house in this morning, when he was allegedly going to work. With his confident gait, he walked up to the terrace, took a look around, and spotted the redheaded woman. He caught her eye, and gave her a tepid wave. She nodded at something he said and he sat down across from her.
“Megan,” I mumbled.
It looked like my worst fears were being confirmed, but it still didn’t make any sense. I knew Caleb, at least, I thought I did, and never dreamed that he’d be unfaithful to me. Maybe it was me. I’d been too stressed out and tired for sex. I’d thought Caleb was being understanding when he didn’t push for it, but maybe he just wasn’t attracted to me anymore.
I stared at them through the windshield, shaking with anger and shame. What was I going to do? Divorce was against my beliefs, but I couldn’t stay married to a cheater.
“Take a deep breath,” I said, gripping the steering wheel. “You don’t know what they’re saying. This isn’t proof that he’s cheating.”
Now that I was calmer, I looked back to the terrace, but didn’t see Caleb or Megan at their table. I spotted them walking down the block to his car. With my mouth hanging open, I watched as Caleb opened the passenger door for her, then went around to the driver side.
I cranked the engine, put the car in drive, and kept my foot on the brake, waiting for Caleb to drive off. Keeping a reasonable distance, I followed him as he drove through the residential streets of the neighborhood. When he pulled up to the curb in front of a brick apartment building, I kept driving past. In my rearview mirror, I watched him walk Megan up the steps to her apartment, then follow her inside the door.
Instinctively, I slammed on brakes. I was in the middle of the road, but I didn’t care. Pressing my forehead against the steering wheel, I thought I was going to be sick.
I arrived at Therese’s house in a state of shock. She greeted me happily, and asked if I’d enjoyed myself. I mumbled something as I quickly gathered Joshua’s things, scooped up Joshua, and rushed out of the door before I started crying.
*
I knew I had to confront Caleb sometime, but I didn’t know when I’d be ready. With a baby to take care of, I didn’t think I could handle going through a major life change. Once I brought it up to Caleb, what was the next step? Separation? Divorce?
I walked around the house like a zombie, numb to all feelings or emotions. It was the only way I could cope with the distrust. When Caleb got a text or phone call from work, I always doubted what he said. When I saw Caleb’s features in Joshua’s face, I couldn’t help but sob. Our marriage had always been so strong. I thought it would last forever. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
In early summer, several of the cases Caleb had been working on closed, one after another. Gradually, he started spending more time at home, and ran to the office less frequently. After a large class action suit was settled, Caleb was offered a partnership at the law firm. I attended the office party in his honor, and smiled politely as the other lawyers offered their congratulations. I looked at all the rich, powerful men in the room and the wives on their arms. Did all of them cheat?
Caleb got up to make a speech. He thanked God, his fellow partners, and then he thanked me.
“She’s the one person who’s always been by my side, who cheered me along when things got tough, and who didn’t complain when I worked long hours and late nights. My wife, Kristen.”
The room turned to me and clapped. I blushed so hard, I felt the heat radiating off of my face.
That night, Caleb had a few more glasses of champagne than he usually did, and the law firm called a car to drive us home. We were waiting on the curb when a black, stretch limo pulled up in front of us. The driver got out and opened the door to the backseat.
“Are you sure this is for us?” I asked, sliding in over the black leather seat.
“It is.” Caleb climbed in next to me. “I’m partner now. It’s a whole new world.”
Alpha Husbands and Obedient Wives (Christian Domestic Discipline Romance): 3 Complete Series in 1 Page 18
