by Anders Grey
“What?”
Rowan bristled like a dog at the end of his chain. I almost wanted to pet his head and say easy, boy. Still, I appreciated his defensiveness for my sake.
“I don’t think he noticed I was here on this trip until now. He was pretty surprised to see me.” I smirked. “And to find out I was dating you.”
Rowan’s eyes flashed. I could’ve sworn I saw a bright green hint of jealousy among the sea of blue. But this wasn’t the kind of jealousy he exhibited last night towards a slew of nameless hookups. This was raw, emotional. Like he wanted to curl around me in a protective stance and make sure Mark didn’t get within ten feet of me ever again.
Something stirred in my chest. A selfish part of me liked seeing him jealous earlier, sure, but this was different. Deeper. At once I realized that I wanted Rowan to protect me from Mark. Obviously, I could easily take care of myself, but knowing Rowan cared enough about me to get so worked up was strangely attractive.
“And how’d he take that news?” Rowan asked. His tone was a little snappy, but all the venom was aimed towards Mark.
“Not so well,” I replied. “Maybe he didn’t expect me to move on so quickly, even though he clearly had no trouble rushing into an engagement.”
Rowan grunted. “Good. Let him see how happy you are with me. Let him squirm.”
Good god, where did this gruff, protective man come from and how do I make sure he sticks around?
Ignoring my sudden spike of attraction to Rowan, I said, “I think we’re doing a decent job of that.”
I reached for his hand and he immediately laced his fingers in mine. The gesture was completely natural. In fact, it was so natural that I almost forgot that this was all an act to convince Rowan’s family, who were milling all around us. I felt a brief flash of disappointment before I let it flow away. Even if it wasn’t real, I contented myself with being in the present, enjoying this moment while it lasted.
Because it wasn’t going to be like this forever. After this trip, Rowan would tell his family we split up, and the two of us would become friends without benefits.
The idea was deeply irritating.
I tightened my grip on Rowan and felt his thumb brush over the back of my hand. A soft shudder rippled down my spine.
Why does this feel so good?
As the crowd funneled towards the exit, I saw Tiffany standing to the side and craning her neck with a frown. Mark wasn’t there.
I found myself getting annoyed on her behalf. Where the fuck was Mark? His behavior on this trip alone was a red flag, but I knew Tiffany must have been stuck in the soft, shmoopey feelings of puppy love land in which Mark could do no wrong—even when he was doing very wrong.
“Guess who’s lost again,” I said under my breath to Rowan. “Maybe we should look for him.”
Rowan sighed like a parent who’d just been told his delinquent son got detention for the third time that week. “I would if the employees weren’t giving us death glares. I think they’re about to ban the Grady family from the aquarium if we’re not out in the next five minutes.”
Frustrated, I glanced over my shoulder.
My breath caught in my throat. Mark was back behind the shallow pool exhibit, his face shadowed and his lips moving as if speaking to someone. I narrowed my eyes. Was it just my imagination or was there someone behind the column-shaped tank in front of him?
I tuned out the noise and bustle and focused on the shadow behind the tank. Mark was definitely talking to someone, but with the moving fish and tank decorations in the way, I couldn’t make out the other person’s features at all.
“Something’s not right,” I murmured in Rowan’s ear. “Mark’s back there with someone.”
Rowan’s head twisted just in time to see Mark duck out and shuffle towards the rest of the family. We both quickly averted our eyes so he wouldn’t see us snooping.
“I couldn’t see who it was,” Rowan complained.
“Me neither. But at least we know we weren’t totally off the mark. He’s up to no good.”
Rowan sighed deeply. “I’ll talk to Tiffany tonight. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with the guilty conscience if I didn’t.”
I nodded. “Good idea.”
Mark slithered over to Tiffany’s side and snaked his arm around her waist like nothing had happened. Poor Tiffany lit up and kissed his cheek, happier to see him return than sad he’d left in the first place.
Whatever Mark was doing to her, it wasn’t right. I wasn’t going to stand by and let him hurt Tiffany the way he’d hurt me.
Rowan’s gentle stroke on the back of my hand pulled me from my stormy thoughts.
“You’re tense,” he said softly.
“Sorry.” I sighed. “I’ll try to calm down.”
He nodded. “Don’t worry, Alec. You’re not alone. I’m right here with you.”
My chest ached, remembering how I’d said the same thing to him the other day. Apparently, I had no idea how badly I needed to hear it until it spilled from Rowan’s lips.
I realized with a mix of both excitement and dread that I was falling for Rowan Grady—hard.
15
Rowan
I stood in front of Tiffany’s hotel room feeling like a bird was trapped in my throat. Even though the entire hotel was fancy, the expensive love-suite floor was especially so, and it only added to the discomforting sense that I was out of place.
I felt like a guy in 80’s movie standing outside a house with a boombox raised over my head, except instead of trying to get my girl back I was trying to warn my cousin that her fiancé was my fake boyfriend’s cheating ex.
Talk about a mouthful.
But though it was undoubtedly going to hurt, Tiffany needed to know the truth. I owed it to her. With a shaky breath, I lifted my hand and knocked.
I heard a muffled laugh and deep voice from the other side of the room followed by the shuffle of footsteps. When Tiffany answered the door with her blonde hair an unkempt mess and her lipstick a little smudged, I realized in horror I’d interrupted something.
“Uh,” I said in a panic. “I can come back later.”
Tiffany rolled her eyes. She smoothed back her hair. “Oh, it’s fine.”
I really did not want to have this conversation while Tiffany and Mark were in the middle of something. “No, seriously.”
She groaned. “One second, babe,” she called into the room before stepping into the hall and shutting the door behind her. “What is it, Rowan?”
I grimaced. Now that she’d exited the room, this conversation was definitely happening, no matter how badly I wanted the floor to open up like a chasm and swallow me.
“Um. I need to talk to you,” I said.
“Got it. What’s up?”
“I really didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Nah, it’s not a big deal. We were just fooling around, nothing too intense.”
Mental images that would require brain bleach to get rid of flashed through my mind. “TMI.”
Tiffany laughed. “Sorry. What’s the big commotion that you needed to come to my room for instead of texting me like a normal person?”
I forced myself to meet Tiffany’s eyes. “I, um, need to talk to you about Mark.”
“Okay. What about him?”
She didn’t seem worried at all. If I were in her situation, I would’ve been freaking out from anxiety right now. Didn’t she have any idea where I was going with this?
“I don’t want you to flip out or anything,” I began, keeping my voice low, “but there’s something you should know about him.”
Tiffany crossed her arms. “And what is that, exactly?”
I could feel her getting fed up with my cageyness but what the hell was I supposed to do? Blurt out hey, your fiancé might be cheating on you? Maybe if I wasn’t such a coward, I could do that. But I wasn’t brave enough to spit it out. Instead I had to dance around the truth like a flea on a tightrope.
Oh my god, Rowan. Say the words.
Say it.
“I’ve… heard stuff about him. Bad stuff,” I said finally.
It was the opposite of smooth. Tiffany raised a brow and scrutinized me for a long moment.
“Rowan, are you high or something?” she asked.
“No! This is serious.” I bit my lip, lowered my voice. “Haven’t you been curious why Mark keeps disappearing left and right? He’s supposed to be spending time with you, but he’s gone half the time.”
Tiffany bristled. Wariness edged into her gaze as she stared me down. “Yeah, he has. So what?”
She was getting defensive. Not a good sign. I made my voice as quiet as it would go without being silent.
“Haven’t you thought that maybe he’s cheating on you?” I suggested.
“What?” Tiffany roared. “No! What’s wrong with you?”
She gave my arm a rough shove. It didn’t hurt, but I was taken aback that my suggestion had upset her so much that she lashed out in my direction.
My heart sank. This was not how this conversation was supposed to go at all. I thought she would realize how strange Mark’s behavior was. I thought she would remember the times she was all alone, with only Alec and me to keep her company. Instead, she instantly jumped to Mark’s defense. She was pushing back instead of letting me in.
“Tiff, wait—”
“No, I’m not listening to this,” Tiffany snapped. “You think you can just make accusations like that? Where’s your proof?”
My mouth hung open in defeat. I had the proof—Alec’s word—but I couldn’t give it to her. I promised him I wouldn’t mention his connection to Mark.
“That’s what I thought,” Tiffany said coldly. “Are you like, so bored that you need to make up lies, Rowan?”
I winced at her cruel tone. This wasn’t her. It was her emotions talking. I knew that, but it still stung to hear my closest relative try to cut me on purpose.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I said.
Her eyes were daggers. “Right now, you’re the one hurting me.”
“Tiff—”
She cut me off. “I don’t want to hear it. Just… Go back to your boyfriend. I can’t look at you right now.”
She slammed the door in my face.
I stood there for a moment, too shaken to move. I’d never fought with Tiffany before, not even as kids. I felt like ice water had been dunked on my head.
Then my anxiety kicked in. I was afraid she—or worse, Mark—was glaring at me through the peephole, ready to come out and yell at me again. I ran off like a beaten dog, huddling in the elevator with my tail between my legs.
When I got back to the room, Alec beamed, happy to see me at first. But then he saw the look on my face and frowned.
“Rowan, what happened?” he asked.
I slumped on the bed, suddenly exhausted. My palms were cold and clammy from anxiety, and my body trembled. Alec immediately leapt next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I leaned against him.
“Bad,” I mumbled.
“What’s bad?”
“Tiffany.”
Alec began stroking my back in calming, rhythmic motions. “Can you tell me what happened?”
I inhaled a shuddering breath, mentally cursing myself for being so stupidly sensitive. “Tiffany got mad.”
Alec’s face fell. “Oh, no.”
“As soon as I mentioned Mark might be cheating, she flipped out at me,” I murmured, feeling a bit petulant, like a child who just got a harsh scolding. “She basically told me to get lost.”
“Denial is a good self-preservation tactic,” Alec said mildly.
I brought my knees up to my chest. “I know. But she’s never yelled at me like that before.” When shameful tears burned in my eyes, I roughly smeared them away. I didn’t want to cry over this. “Ugh. I’m an adult man, for fuck’s sake. I shouldn’t be crying because my cousin raised her voice at me.”
If it was anyone but Alec, I wouldn’t have even brought attention to the tears—but I trusted him.
His hand rubbed gently across my back, warm and large and comforting. “It’s natural to be upset when you have a fight with a close family member.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything. I was too embarrassed at how sensitive I was being.
“She just needs time to cool off,” Alec reassured me. “This won’t last forever.”
I sighed, letting the breath out purposely harshly so the tremble wouldn’t appear in my voice. “I know you’re right. It just sucks.”
“It does suck,” Alec agreed.
We spent a few moments in silence as Alec kept rubbing my back and shoulders. His touch loosened me up, relaxed me to the point where I didn’t feel the white-hot prickle of shame anymore. Slowly, I unwound until the taut tightness in my chest disappeared, and all that was left was the soft warmth of Alec’s body against mine.
A second later, I realized our positions.
I was leaning into Alec’s chest, my head on his collarbone and the rest of my body practically in his lap. His arms draped across my back and had never once stopped rubbing their comforting circles.
I damn near stopped breathing. This was close. This was intimate.
And I really, really liked it.
I didn’t dare breathe more than necessary. I stilled my body, not wanting to twitch a muscle for fear that it would shatter this idyllic scene.
No moving. Only staying like this for eternity.
Trying to be sneaky, I silently inhaled Alec’s scent. He smelled clean and masculine, like leather-spiced soap and sun-baked white sands on the beach. Fuck, it was addictive. I could lay here and take deep drags of his scent forever.
But nothing that good could last. My body turned traitor. The pleasant feeling in my chest seeped down and turned into a pit of arousal pooling hot below my belly.
Shit.
I didn’t want to get turned on. Not now. Not in Alec’s lap while he comforted me. He would think I was some kind of fucking pervert. Hell, maybe I was. But at the same time, I couldn’t deny how good that lustful heat felt.
I bit my tongue on purpose to try and kill the arousal building in my groin, but it didn’t help. My dick was determined to get hard and stay that way.
As subtly as possible, I shifted my body to keep my dick out of sight. If I wanted to stay like this, with Alec’s arms wrapped around me, he couldn’t see me like this. It felt shameful and wrong to hide it, but fuck, I wanted to be selfish for once.
“Rowan.”
Alec’s soft but steady voice made me flinch.
“Yeah?” I said, hating the precarious note in my voice.
He didn’t reply immediately. My heart leapt into my throat, making it harder to breathe. Did he know? Was he upset? I braced myself for Alec’s disgust. My muscles tightened, getting ready to spring away like a prey animal.
Alec shifted and I raised my head. His eyes were half-lidded and a bit glazed. I didn’t know why until I realized that the same arousal coursing in my blood was mirrored in his gaze.
I took the risk and looked down.
Alec was hard, too.
Oh.
My heart beat fast and syrupy thick, failing to steady itself. My whole chest vibrated with every powerful thump of my heart.
I didn’t know what to do. I stared back at him, waiting for one of us to say or do something. It seemed impossible. The moment stretched on, awkward and anticipatory and full of a million possibilities.
Alec broke the spell first. His hand raised to slowly cup my face, running his thumb along my cheek. My stomach felt like it was turning inside out. Every breath became a struggle as my heart beat frantically, as if trying to escape the confines of my ribcage.
I felt like I would explode if I didn’t do something. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I launched myself at Alec, crushing our lips together. It was raw and inelegant, but neither of us cared. His mouth melted against mine. Our teeth and tongues met. In a second, Alec was on his back and I crawl
ed on top of him, never breaking the kiss apart.
After a minute, the desperation to breathe pushed me away. I gasped as my lungs screamed for air. My whole body was burning hot, my cock aching and hard inside my underwear, every inch of my skin taut and electrified.
I’d never felt anything quite as intense as this before, and I was scared. I dug my elbows into the bed and waited for my head to stop spinning.
The reality of what I’d just done hit me like a four-by-four to the back of the skull. I’d kissed Alec.
Not only that, but Alec had kissed me back.
He stared at me now with an uncharacteristic blush on his face. He wasn’t running away or screaming at me, which was probably a good sign. But also maybe a bad one. Because this was a really, really horrible idea.
“We can’t,” I said weakly, my voice shaking.
“Why?”
“You’re Mark’s ex. Tiffany is marrying Mark.”
Alec growled. There was no other way to describe the sound that came out of his mouth as he crawled over to me. “I don’t care.”
I thrust my hands out to his chest. “I—I don’t want you to regret this later.”
Surprise flashed across his face. “Why would I?”
My mind and body were at war. Paranoia and hesitation battled with pure, raw horniness. My dick was so hard it was painful, and it wasn’t getting any easier to deal with since Alec was hovering over me with lust burning in his eyes.
“I don’t know,” I said finally.
Alec licked his lips. “Do you want this, Rowan? Because I do.”
The rough quality of his voice sent a shiver down my spine. It loosened my last grip on doubt, letting it float away like a loose balloon.
Fuck it.
“Yes.”
In the next second, Alec’s mouth smothered mine.
16
Alec
Rowan said this was a bad idea, but frankly, I didn’t give a shit. Mark and Tiffany and the wedding and everything else in the world were the last things on my mind. Right now, the only thing I cared about was Rowan.
