Stay, his father signed. He was crammed into the other half of the cabin. The ceiling crushed him down so that he was almost doubled up. This is not the time for ceremony, Carnelian. I am just a father come to see his son.' Suth looked round the cabin, then reached behind his head to release his mask. His face was haggard, his eyes bruise-rimmed red. 'You look ill, my son.'
Carnelian stared. His father looked terrible. He covered his dismay with a wan smile. 'It is mosdy the waves. Does the wave-sickness also ail my Lord?' For a moment he forgot the resentment he had been feeling towards his father.
'No... well, yes, as you say, the waves.' Braced against the ceiling and a bulkhead, his father seemed a part of the swaying cabin. 'It occurred to me I might bring you some relief.' He handed Carnelian a small silver box. Its lid was wrought with a crying eye: the moon's cypher. Opening it, Carnelian saw it was filled with a red-brown powder whose acridity stung his nose.
'It is made from the juice of young poppies. Get Tain to hide its bitterness in honey. Give him some. Its dreams will deaden you both to the storms.'
Carnelian searched his father's weary face.
Take care you do not consume too much. Poppy has a power over men's minds.' His father looked as if he were seeing something far away. 'And dreams can be as enslaving as the legions.'
'You should not have incommoded yourself, my Lord. A servant could have brought me this.'
His father almost smiled. 'You see behind the mask, my son. You force me to own that I come to make a peace between us. This is no time for us to be at war. There are dangers coming that we should better meet with our shields locked together.'
Carnelian felt his heart melting. He wanted to open himself up. He wanted to lean on his father's strength, to trust him. But he wore the discomfort of Jaspar's words like wet clothes. 'May I ask my Lord a question?'
His father's brows lifted.
Carnelian clamped his teeth together. The taste of vomit was still in his mouth but his question lay more bitter on his tongue. He spat it out. 'Was our exile freely chosen?'
His father's face darkened. 'Who told you this?'
'It is true then!'
Father and son glared at each other. Then Suth's eyes fell as if his head had grown suddenly heavy. Cold fear flushed up Carnelian's chest. The Master, hanging his head in shame? He had never expected to see that. He closed up, withdrawing back into the bunk in a hunch. His father looked up with dull eyes. 'Long ago, I swore before the Wise a blood oath that brought us here. All you need to know is that I have been released from it.'
The sadness in his father's face punished Carnelian. The massive shoulders seemed to be curving under the whole weight of the decks above. Carnelian felt how unworthy had been his doubts.
His father made an elegant gesture to take in the cabin. 'Shall I send one of my servants to clean this?'
'No, Father, Tain will manage well enough.'
'I can see how well he is managing, but it is up to you.' He turned to leave. There is one task that Tain should be capable of. You are no longer a boy. Have him shave your head. Wait until it is calm. It is not becoming to a Lord to have his head a mass of scars.'
Tain was mopping up the last of the vomit. His face scrunched up as he wiped it off his hands. He looked up at Carnelian hunched on his bunk. 'You know, Crail's worse off than either of us.' He busied himself rubbing the cloth between his fingers.
Carnelian dropped his hands from his eyes and glanced down. He felt a pang of guilt. He had altogether forgotten the old man. 'Surely he's being looked after?'
Tain looked uncertain. 'You know the tyadra. How likely do you think it is that they'd make good nursemaids?'
'Well then, he must come here where we can look after him.'
Tain's eyes were all whites. 'In here?'
'Why not?'
'Well, it might have escaped my Master's attention but there's very little space.'
'If you don't think that you can squeeze in here with us then you could always take Crail's place in the other cabin.'
Tain frowned.
'Go on, Tain, I'm sure you don't like the idea of him suffering uncared for any better than I do.'
'I suppose,' said Tain. He went out and returned soon after with a sly grin. 'He's refused.'
'I bet you didn't try very hard.'
'I did! You know what he's like.'
'Well, go back and don't bother saying anything more to him. Tell the others in his cabin that I want him carried in here and that it's a command not a request.'
A little later Carnelian could hear grumbling and scuffing in the hall. He had risen, made himself presentable, and knocked together another makeshift bed on the floor. He stood shakily on the tilting floor and had to look away from the lantern's swing. Everything was lurching. Tain came in and held the door open. A guardsman backed into the cabin. Carnelian could see another over his shoulder. The first man had to trample one of the floor beds. When they were both in they turned. Crail hung between them like a rope bridge. Though sallow and feverish, he still managed a scowl. The guardsmen began to lower him towards the floor.
'Not there,' said Carnelian. 'Put him on the bunk.'
'But, Carnie, you can't sleep on the floor,' said Tain. The faces round him were aghast.
'Look at the bunk,' Carnelian said. 'Go on, look at it! Now look at me. I'm sure you can all see there's a difference in our lengths. I haven't slept comfortably since coming aboard this accursed scow. Now, if none of you object,' he gave them all a bow, 'I'd like to sleep stretched out on the floor.'
Some of them blushed. It made Carnelian queasy to look at their swaying. He turned away. When he looked back, Crail had already been put in the bunk. The old man's face puckered into a grimace that folded his chameleon tattoo into the wrinkles. 'I knew I shouldn't have come,' he grated. 'I told the Master I didn't want to be a burden.'
Tain's eyes rolled up to the ceiling. The other men slipped out. Carnelian and Tain arranged the beds that now took up almost all the floor. They settled down with groans of relief. The old man was still grumbling. Carnelian offered them each a morsel of poppied honey. Crail turned his face away. Carnelian forced it on him. Take it. If it's good enough for a Master it's good enough for you.' The old man gave in but put it into his mouth as if he were being poisoned.
Tell me, Crail, of the time you saw the dragon,' said Tain and winked at Carnelian.
The old man looked over, still scowling, suspecting mockery, but when he saw their expectant faces his own began uncreasing. He chewed absentmindedly on the honey. 'Yes, it was a wonder, and I saw it sure enough.' The grooves in his skin bunched as he spoke. 'By the God in his Mountain and his four horns, I saw it sure enough.'
Carnelian and Tain had heard it many times before. They settled back into the comfort of his drone. '. .. a tower on its back that touched the sky.' The old hands struggled to make a pyramid of fingers. 'Its hide was bronze. It was larger than a hill.' His arms trembled out a volume in the air. 'Its horns were four men long.' He spotted the corner of Carnelian's smile. 'I swear it, boy, by all the hidden names of the God in his Mountain: four men long and curving like the moon.' And four of his thick knob-knuckled fingers were hooked out around the head he'd made by pressing his calloused thumbs together.
The lantern cast out a deeper gold. Its gilding warmed the cabin like sunlight. The rhythm of the cabin's swaying felt like the wave surge in summer upon the beach at home. Everything was fine. They each felt it. Carnelian could see the truth of it in the blissful sleepy smiles that Tain let slip across the smooth distances that lay between them. The smile he sent back was like a dove loosed into a blue sky. He tried to speak but his words came as a surprise to him. They had acquired a breathing of their own. He lay back and listened to the drums. How deep they were and purple-voiced. That other strain, like flutes, like many flutes close-tuned and narrow-throated, singing. Voices crying like gulls. He sat up to listen. Not gulls but men, shouting. Panic in the wind. Thunder so bass
it made his head bell and thrum. He tried hard to listen again. That was it, voices shrieking over shrilling wind and thunder. Locating in himself he noticed the cabin violently contracting like a womb threatening his birth. A storm, he smiled, lying back again, a storm so musical and lithe.
For eternities he was a needle darning in and out of sleep. The difference between the two was merely an attitude of mind. Sometimes he tried to work out how long it was now since the old man had come. It was no good. There was nothing to go on. Everything was always the same: Tain lying like a sandbank on the floor, Crail up there on the bed, wearing his mask of wrinkles. The cabin slipped and turned and spun and looped and the rest of the world went along for the ride. It was a marvel that he felt so well. He had never felt so well before. He knew he glowed. Only a single piece of grit spoiled his oyster bliss. He made it smooth with pearly dreams and forgetting. He knew it was there. Let it work its own way out; he was not about to bother delving for it.
His people. The thought popped into his dream and woke him up. There was a tempest and his people were up there, exposed between the decks. That single lucid thought was like a stone falling into a well. He was eyeless at the bottom of that well. The lantern must have run out of oil. He climbed up until he found that he was standing. He searched. He became nothing but the feelings in his fingers. Squid at the bottom of the sea. He chuckled at the idea of it. His fingers found his cloak. Finding the door was a larger quest.
The corridor was filled with the swinging suns of lanterns. Their blaze blinded him. The door at the stairway top was rattling. Something was on the other side trying to come in. Crashing thunder, felt as much as heard. He turned to face the first step. He put one foot in front of the other. His body was a puppet he hardly remembered how to control. He took it up the stairway. The door clattered and shook. He lifted his wooden hand and watched it turn the handle. Nothing happened. He leant against the door; it struggled to push him back but then gave way and he tumbled out.
He was kneeling in the throat of the roaring night. Its tongue sloped up wet under his hands. The pressure of its breath squeezed his eyes shut. It roared on and on and on. He felt a terror that, should it pause for breath, he would be swallowed up. The world shattered with a crash that left him deaf. Sudden white. Painful afterburn. He strained against the wind to open his eyes. When he did he squinted round him but could see nothing. He was reaching his fingers up to test that his eyes were really open when a livid crack appeared across the inky black. For a moment he saw the deck sloping up before him like a hill. The mast jutting out above his head was an axe waiting to fall. Beyond that the lurid gleaming foredeck funnelled up to the prow. Behind, the whole sky was strangely streaked and mottled and writhing like a wall of snakes. His eye could just see up to its flint-sharp top and realized that the ship was climbing an immensity of water. High above, where the wave edge touched the sky, Carnelian detected the faintest curling white. His heart stopped. The wave was breaking above them.
The light snuffed out. Ghostly scratches printed themselves wherever he looked. He tried to listen for the roar of the breaking wave as it raced down to get them. He waited for the unbearable touch of its cold thunder. Then the deck began toppling forwards. For a moment it hung, horizontal, floating suspended in the night. Then it started angling down. His nails dug their anchors into the deck but he slid forward all the same. On and on as the deck fell away ever more steeply. He hit something hard. One of the brass posts around the mast. He hugged it with trembling desperation. The world shook again. The post rattled in his embrace. It was a kind of ecstasy waiting for the lightning. When it came it revealed far below the abyss into which they sped. That well was the starkest terror. Down into the deep it screwed its wall of circling iron.
'Carnie.'
Impossible.
'Carnie.' The word was the merest rustling in his ear. He had only eyes and they saw only the well.
A vice gripped his jaw and swivelled his head round.
Something bleared in his sight. His eyes took time to adjust back to the dimensions of a human face. His father's face. 'Carnie,' it mouthed like a fish. 'Are you all right? What's wrong with you?'
The circle of his arms was torn open. His body was being dragged like a sack. He screwed his eyes closed. He could not bear to look down into the well again. His heels bobbed across the deck grating, catching like ratchets. They tugged free. The storm muffled. He realized he was inside.
'Are you all right?' a human voice asked.
He dared to look. His father's face wearing the chameleon. No. It was Keal, wild-eyed Keal.
'My p-people ...'
At first Keal stared at him as if he were mad, but then he grimaced. They're lashed down,' he shouted, 'and safer than you or me out there.' He looked back towards the shuddering door with terror pulling the skin taut over his skull.
The well,' cried Carnelian, seeing it in his mind where his eyelids could not hide the sight.
'Let's get you back to your cabin, Carnie.'
Keal took his weight and helped him stagger. Carnelian patted the bulkheads. 'It's better not to see what's outside.'
Keal opened the door into the cabin. The corridor lanterns swung their shadows inside to where a figure was lumbering around like something in a trap. It was Crail, staring blind, mumbling over and over, 'Must get out, must get out.' Tain had fitted his spine up a corner. There was a blanket clasped to his chest. He peeped over this with no understanding of what he saw.
Carnelian settled them down with talk. He had to sit against the bunk because Crail would not let go of his hand.
'What's it like out there?' asked Tain.
Carnelian had watched his brother shudder with every thunderclap. The image of the well kept turning in his mind. 'It's just a storm,' he said. 'Now get some sleep.' It is the poppy, he thought. Its dregs have left a stain of dread in our minds.
Tain began a muttering whose rhythm was enough to insinuate familiar words into Carnelian's mind: '.. . our Lord in the Mountain, who is two Gods but also One, whose angels are our Masters that must be obeyed, I plead my prayer .. .'
It was part of what his father called the 'slavish superstition'. Carnelian slid his hand out of Crail’s grip, doused the lantern and lay down. He felt that he made a poor angel. A juddering came up into him through his back. His feet were higher than his head. His mind walked him along the corridor, up the stairway, through the door, into the raging night, the deck frozen in lightning glare, the prow cleaving a way into .. .
With a jerk he snatched his thoughts back into the cabin. His body was shaking. His body was levelling. The floor was bringing his head up. He pressed back against it. He ground his teeth, then gave a gasp as the ship began to fall. Down, the angle so steep he had to brace his feet against the bulkhead. Down. Down into the well until he was almost standing on the bulkhead. He tried to smother his fear with memories. The Hold. He thought of the Hold. Of Ebeny. Her gift. The Little Mother was there against his chest. He clutched her for warmth but the stone stayed cold. We are the lucky ones, he told himself. At least we have food. He squeezed the Little Mother. In truth, he envied those left behind their solid ground far from the abyss. The abyss. He scrunched up his ears in his hands to shut out the baying of the wind. Then before he could use his fingers as a muzzle, the scream came up from his stomach and he vomited it out.
Endless night. Swimming in a coruscating sea of dreams. Sometimes, when he came up for breath, he surfaced in the cabin, each time with surprise. The silver box was the tearful eye of the moon. He would smother its light in his hand, dip his fingers in, let the others drink, then dive back. There was no him, there was no where, there was no passing time, his unblinking eyes saw only the endless undulating vision of now.
STORMS at SEA
Down the dark roads of the sea
We fled Before a driving squall
(extract from The Voyage of the Suncutter')
Sharp gull cries superimposing over each other like
their angles in the sky. Not gulls, men jabbering. A shout. Answers spaced by distance. Carnelian felt heavy, muffled by the dark. Stillness. No, his body was nudging up and down. It was as if he lay on someone's breathing chest. He did not open his eyes. He knew that he would see nothing. His limbs had been replaced by new ones cast in lead. His head was a stone. Something was different. It was the voices alone that defined space. He searched for the difference. The tempest. His hearing went out past the voices. The tempest was not there. Under him the ship seemed almost still. Unbelievably, she had survived his dreams.
When he decided to rise he found that every hinge in his body had seized up. He propped himself onto his legs and drew them together like a pair of compasses. He tottered
on his feet. No amount of fumbling would find the lantern. His fingers tried to locate the door, the cabin's shape forgotten. He opened it gingerly and let in the merest crack of dazzling light. It was like water to a thirsty man. He opened the door wider and sprayed the dazzle across half the cabin. The sheer beauty of it left him gasping for breath.
He found the lantern and lit it. It ignited into a sun. He smiled through his squint and looked around. Tain was there like a bone carving abandoned in a wrapping of blankets. He stooped and carefully woke him. He gave him time. He watched the life seep back into the little face. There was something unfamiliar about his brother, but what? He turned to Crail. His skin looked empty, as if the old man had squeezed out of it and left it behind.
A while later Tain was sitting up and Carnelian was staring at him. Carnelian's first attempts at speech sighed away to nothing. He swallowed several times and waited for his tongue to be wet enough to move. 'You're ... so thin,' he managed to rasp. Tain looked up at him. Carnelian saw that his brother had aged. His face had narrowed. His eyes seemed huge. They grew larger. He tried to speak but managed only a croak. His thin arm rose and pointed shakily at Carnelian. He nodded several times. Carnelian took his meaning and reached up. He stopped when he saw a stranger's bony hands. He put them to his face. It felt like someone else's.
The Chosen - Stone Dance of the Chameleon 01 Page 10
