by Ella Miles
I can’t help him now. It’s too late. But it won’t stop the memories from coming back. I need it to replay more in my head, but right now, I need Knight more.
“I forgive you for not telling me,” I whisper.
Knight inhales like he’s taking in every word of my forgiveness. Then he kisses the palm of my hand.
“I thought I needed you to tell me why I shouldn’t have married Abri, but I’d rather you not have any more pain. I love you, Mila. I would have loved you that night if my heart wasn’t already taken. But when I found you again on the mountain, I fell harder than I’ve ever fallen. I used you and don’t deserve your forgiveness. After Abri, I didn’t think I could love again. That I could trust someone again. But you changed that. And regardless of what you want next, know I will love you forever pretty girl.”
Knight destroyed my heart, and I don’t know if I have enough left to love him with. Just like his story that night, he shattered my heart into tiny pieces, and it will take both of us to find all of the shards.
But I want to try again with Knight. Because he is the best and one of the worst things that ever happened to me. He’s had my heart since that night in the hospital. I tried to save him then, but he wouldn’t let me. He couldn’t see the danger coming. But maybe I can save him now.
22
Knight
I told Mila I love her.
I never thought I would be able to say those words again. After what happened, I didn’t think she would ever forgive me. Staying with Cole was never about getting Mila back. Sure, I thought maybe I’d get her to talk to me, eventually. But the words started spilling out of me. Words I’ve been holding back from everyone, even Cole. And Mila listened.
I thought she would run away or storm out. I thought it would take months of begging and pleading to get her to even sit at the same table as me. But that’s what makes Mila so special. She’s able to look past people’s flaws to find the beauty within. It’s a blessing and a curse. Because it makes her vulnerable. Bad people can take advantage of her forgiveness. She will let people in who don’t deserve to be let in.
If I wish for one thing in the world, it would be to protect her. That’s all I want.
But I’m getting more than the ability to protect her. I’m getting a second chance.
She forgives me. She remembers. I don’t want her to dive too far into that dark place. If she does, I’m not sure she’ll find her way back out. And I’m selfish; I want her all to myself.
I’m still holding her hand, but I don’t dare do more. I won’t push my luck. I want her completely. I want to feel a connection again I haven’t felt since we were in Aspen, but I don’t deserve it. Tonight, I’ll take her forgiveness and pray we can be more at some point.
Mila’s breathing is fast like she’s just ran a marathon and is about to pass out.
“Mila? Are you okay? Do you need water or something?”
She shakes her head, but she doesn’t look at me or say anything. She hasn’t spoken since I told her I love her.
“You don’t need to say I love you back. You don’t need to say anything back; I just needed you to know.”
Her long eyelashes flicker up as her gaze focuses on me. She pulls her hand away, and I reluctantly let my hands fall to my lap. She’s pulling away from me, and I have to let her go.
But then her small body turns to face me. Her hands tremble in her lap.
“Mila, please tell me what’s wrong. If you are remembering something bad, please let me in. Let me help you.”
She takes a deep breath in and out, and I sit on my hands to keep from touching her. Don’t push her away. She will come to you when she’s ready. For now, simply sit until she asks for help.
If she passes out from not breathing enough, I’m never going to stop touching her to make her better.
Her hand reaches out toward my hair. She gently takes a few strands between her fingers, pulling gently, as if she’s remembering my much longer hair before. Her fingers slip down to the side of my face. I want to close my eyes at how intense it feels for her to be touching me again, but I don’t. I don’t want to miss a thing with Mila. Because I’ll never know when it will be the last time she touches me like this.
Her eyes pierce through my pupils into my soul as she strokes my cheek. What she sees, I don’t know. But I implore my heart to show her the love I feel for her is true.
I always thought Abri was the one for me. Perfect in every way, but my heart lied to me. Mila is who I love. I thought I would do anything for Abri. I would have died protecting Abri. But I’ll do more for Mila. I will let her go to keep her safe. And the difference between Abri and Mila is Abri would ask me to take a bullet for her; Mila never would.
Her gaze and hands drop over my black T-shirt. To my biceps, then forearms covered in tattoos.
She smiles when she finds a dragon on my forearm.
“This used to be a rubber ducky?” she asks.
I laugh. “What has Cole been telling you?”
“Everything.”
I don’t doubt it. He’s been trying to get Mila and me together since the first moment I told him about her. If I had told him about Mila all those years ago, he would have persuaded me to date her then.
She traces her fingers over the outline of the dragon. “They did a good job covering it up. I can’t see the rubber ducky anymore.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I got the dragon to remind me of you. Of the story I told you that night. I realized after I left you are no princess. You are more of a dragon.”
She nods.
“I don’t need a knight to save me.”
“I know, but maybe I need a dragon to protect me,” I whisper.
Her hands hold onto either side of my face. She holds my head steady as she lowers herself until our lips are inches apart. “I’m sorry for forgetting you. If I had remembered, I would have saved you earlier.”
“Save me now.”
She closes the gap and our lips touch so gently I have to keep my eyes open to ensure we are, in fact, kissing. And then we are really kissing. Her lips crash down roughly, kissing me in one long kiss trapping me beneath her.
I give her everything with this kiss. I tell her how sorry I am as I slip my tongue into her mouth.
She forgives me with a sob and moan as I nip at her bottom lip.
Her hands tangle in my hair as I kiss away her tears and continue down to her neck.
We both apologize profusely.
For everything.
For forgetting.
For remembering.
For not telling the truth.
For hiding.
For hurting.
“Touch me, Knight. Hold me, kiss me, fuck me.”
I realize I’m still sitting on my hands, not sure if any of this is true.
But at her words, I grab her desperately, sliding my hand beneath her black jacket. A jacket that matches my dark shirt.
“We’ve always been connected, even when we were miles apart. Even when we didn’t remember. Or tried to hide from our past. Even if our connection isn’t healthy,” she whispers.
Her words are true. I doubt we wore the same outfit every day for the past five years. But I know there wasn’t a day that went by I didn’t think back to her. When I didn’t think of my pretty girl and what she was doing. It wasn’t love. At the time, I gave my whole heart to Abri. It was a connection to a woman I thought would never be mine.
“Fuck me,” she says again.
I take her mouth with mine and kiss her with everything I can give her.
She moans and grinds her body on top of mine. I know if I let her, she’d fuck me right here and come from the grinding she’s doing alone. One week is too long for us to go without being with each other when our connection is so passionate.
“I’m not going to fuck you on this tiny couch,” I growl into her lips.
I lift her up and carry her back into Cole’s apartment. Bed, I need to get to a
bed.
But Mila starts unbuttoning her jacket and I know I won’t make it to her bed. I need to see her breasts. Need to kiss and torture them. Now.
I set her down on the edge of the kitchen counter and quickly help her rid herself of the jacket and black tank top she was wearing beneath it. I see the black sparkly bra drawing me in with promises of what lies beneath its pretty lace and sparkles.
I’m not patient enough to find the clasp on her back, so I push the bra up until her breasts fall out for me.
She gasps as I lean down to taste her nipple, hard and begging for me.
Her body falls back against the counter as I lick the hard point. Her body shivers against the cold air and my heated touch. I move quickly to her other nipple, needing both at the same time and cursing that I only have one mouth. My hand does its best to give her other nipple attention while my tongue is focused on the other.
Her legs tighten around my waist and I know her wetness is pooling between her legs. Everything about her makes me want her more. Her whimpers, how she arches her back, how she begs me for more while wanting this to last forever.
Suddenly, she grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls herself back up. She grabs fistfuls of my shirt and yanks it off. Her eyes dilate as she drinks my body in. I see the drops of drool as she stares at my tattoos. Her lips start kissing me places, and I can’t focus on what I want to do to her body anymore.
She kisses each muscle, each spot of skin, each tattoo claiming it all as hers. She hesitates when she gets to my heart where the words Abri are written. I need to change that. It’s not fair to either woman, but then Mila drops her lips to kiss over the words and my heart.
“Mine,” she purrs.
I suck in a long, hard breath. “Yours forever.”
She smiles, and I lift her off the counter, regaining my focus on getting her to a bed as fast as possible.
She kisses me hard on my lips, and I close my eyes as I carry her, getting lost in the desperation and love pouring out of her. I stumble, and we fall onto the couch in the living room.
She giggles as I fall on top of her. She grabs my jeans as her eyes suddenly grow heavy.
“Off,” she moans into my lips as she pulls at my jeans.
I’m desperate for her. I would do anything for her. But getting out of my jeans while still holding her is an impossible task, and I can’t decide which is more important. Getting out of my jeans or kissing and holding Mila.
She laughs. And finally pushes me off her body. I reluctantly stand up, and she follows after. She starts kissing me roughly, sucking on my bottom lip while I work on my jeans.
It’s never taken me so long to undress, but I’ve also never enjoyed undressing more than I do with her lips pressed against mine.
When I’m finally naked, I grab her hips, and we stumble back toward the bedroom. I work on finding the zipper to her skirt, but I can’t find it. It doesn’t matter. I slip my hand up her skirt and pull her panties down as we stumble onto the bed.
My head moves between her legs, kissing every sweet part of her. Her sensitive bud, her lips, and then I dive inside her, filling her with my tongue.
“Knight,” she moans as he grabs my hair roughly, pulling me from her pussy.
I pout, but she tosses a condom at me.
I grin. How could I have forgotten to bring a condom when I came over to Cole’s apartment? Good thing Cole has his own stash here.
I rip the condom open, slip it on and pause, waiting to push inside her. What the hell is wrong with me? Just fuck her.
But I can’t. I need more than fucking. If this is all she wants, I’ll kill myself when I pull out and know it’s the last time. Man, I’ve turned into a pussy.
Her eyes brighten as she reads my mind. “I want more too.”
I kiss her tenderly and then pull away.
“But I swear, if you don’t fuck me now, Knight, I’m going to kick your ass.”
I grin and slide into her slick entrance. She moans and curses as I fill her. Her body readjusts to me after going without me for days.
“Damn, I’ve missed this,” I moan.
“Not as much as I have,” she purrs back.
I grab her hips and slam harder. Her body writhes beneath me, angling her body to let me reach deeper than I’ve ever been inside her.
She doesn’t tell me she loves me with words. She doesn’t tell me she wants to start our relationship again. But I can feel it with her body. She needs me as much as she needs air to breathe.
So I fuck her, harder, faster, longer. I watch as her face turns from pleasure to bliss. Her mouth goes from panting to screaming. Her body goes from sensitive to exploding.
We come together, now in sync. And I hope we never lose this connection again.
We aren’t a perfect couple. We are broken and tragic. Our lives have always intertwined, but we were never headed toward a happily ever after together. But now might be that time.
I pull out of her, lie down next to her in the bed, and pull Mila to me as her eyes begin to drift close. Neither of us has slept much since we’ve been apart. And as much as I want to fuck her again and again, I want to protect her while she sleeps more.
The door opens, and light floods in as Cole stumbles in, presumably to sleep on the cot he made for himself on the floor. He spots me, stops, and smirks.
“You know that’s my bed right?”
I nod.
“Ugh, fine, it’s your bed now. You owe me a new bed, Knight.”
I stroke Mila’s face. I’ll buy him whatever fucking bed he wants. I have Mila back.
Cole leans down and picks up his blanket and pillow off the floor. “I’ll go sleep on the couch. Glad I’m not on nightmare duty anymore. She sleeps better with you than me.”
I growl at Cole, and he laughs before leaving us alone. It’s been years since I didn’t know what my future held when I closed my eyes at night. But I welcome it. My greatest adventures always came when I didn’t know what was coming next.
23
Mila
I love Knight. I’ve always loved Knight. One of the reasons my mind forgot that horrible night was to forget about him choosing her over me. I tried to stop him. I tried to warn him. But he was loyal to a woman he loved, even if she didn’t love him back.
I glance at Knight who is holding me close to him in Cole’s bed. Knight thinks he saved me from Abri. He thinks losing Gideon was what caused her to deteriorate. To hate him. He’s wrong. We aren’t safe. I remember everything. I won’t let her ruin us. Even if we deserve it.
I ease myself off the bed, cautiously, so I don’t wake Knight. He doesn’t move. I don’t think he’s slept since Aspen.
I quickly put a pair of jeans and a T-shirt on and leave before I change my mind. It’s six in the morning. Knight is usually awake by now. The only thing keeping him asleep is his exhaustion.
I tiptoe toward the front door, smiling when I see our discarded clothes strung about the apartment.
“What are you doing?” Cole asks, sitting up on the couch.
I stop and smile, pretending nothing is wrong. “What are you doing sleeping on the couch? You have a spare bedroom.”
“The spare bedroom shares a wall with my bedroom. I didn’t want to listen to the two of you all night.”
“Sorry if we kept you awake. And for stealing your bed.”
“Don’t worry; it’s your bed now.”
“I’m just going to run and get breakfast for us. Do you want something?”
He stands and walks to me. “I want to know what you are doing sneaking out at six in the morning.”
“I’m getting breakfast. I can’t cook so this is the only way for me to do something nice for Knight.”
“You and I have become good friends, Mila. I know you pretty well. And you are a horrible liar. What’s going on? Are you and Knight broken up again?”
“No.”
Cole studies me a moment and then grabs my arm. “You are going to Abri.”
“If I don’t go, we will all die. Knight thinks he fixed the problem. He just doesn’t realize what she threatened me with before. She’s not done. She may have all of his money, but it’s not enough. If you don’t let me go, we die.”
My words may be a little harsh, but it’s the truth. Abri will do anything to survive, to get revenge.
Cole releases my arm and steps aside. I run to my car and begin driving as fast as I can toward Knight’s old apartment that Abri now owns. It’s a long shot that she is there, but it’s my only hope of finding her quickly. Even though Cole let me go, I have no doubt he will wake Knight, and they will be right behind me.
The elevator ride up to the apartment is quick. Faster than I remember. I try to think of the words I’m going to say to fix this, but I’m not sure I can. I just know I need to confront Abri.
I fidget with my phone as the elevator opens, and I walk to the front door. I still have a spare key Knight gave me, and I doubt she has changed the locks on the door quickly. I knock once, and when no one answers, I use the key to get inside.
“You know, I could shoot you for breaking and entering,” Abri says, standing in the entryway.
“So shoot me then, it’s what you want. To hurt Knight and punish me for the pain we’ve caused you.”
She narrows. “Since when do you know anything I want?”
“Since I remember that night.”
Abri studies me a moment and then turns toward the kitchen. I follow her and watch as she pours us each a glass of whiskey.
I take mine, thankful we might be able to have this conversation woman to woman. Or we will get drunk and turn this into a cat fight.
“Why are you here, Mila?”
I take a sip of the whiskey for encouragement. Abri is in a robe, and it’s clear she’s not wearing much underneath it.
“Because I want to apologize.”
She raises an eyebrow as she laughs. “You want to apologize?”
