He lifted his head and his red eyes met mine.
“And then I felt it. Here,” he sniffled, and held his hand over his heart, “and I had to come over, kid. I had to be here. I hope you don’t mind,” Trey said.
“No, I don’t mind you being here. I’m glad to see you. I’m so happy to see you’re alright, too.” My voice cracked as I forced the words past the lump in my throat.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I told Dolph.” He stood and walked to me, shaking his head, then wrapped his arms around me holding me tight. “I’m so sorry about your father, kid. How’s your mother?”
I inhaled a deep breath and fought the tears. My mother was devastated. I had no idea how she’d get herself back together. I had no idea how I’d get myself together.
“Mom’s not doing too well.”
I sat down at the table with Dolph and Trey. We sat in silence for several minutes.
“Are you guys’ hungry?” I asked. I didn’t have any desire to eat, but I knew my father was always one to offer people a meal.
They shook their heads. We sat in silence until I turned on the television.
It hadn’t taken long for the confirmation of the devastating news to be broadcast. I’d felt it when I woke. The story that was reported on TV was that he was euthanized, because the men who’d kidnapped him and the others suspected he was the one who attacked three of their humans and tore them to shreds years earlier. But I knew the truth. My father’s Wolf had been shot after being caged at the preserve. They murdered my father. My father’s Wolf would have never done such a thing.
I moved back and forth across the kitchen floor, stomping so hard I thought I’d put my foot through the hardwood floor. My nostrils flared and I cracked my knuckles. My chest heaved and my breaths were forced out of my lungs as growls. I slammed the cabinet drawers and doors. The anger was taking over my ability to think straight. I wanted to avenge my father’s unwarranted death and it was driving me crazy. I wanted those men to pay for what they’d done. Tears spilled down my face.
“Holt, calm down. Getting yourself all worked up like this isn’t doing anyone any good.” Trey said, tears in his eyes. That was the first time I’d ever noticed him let his guard down. “You can’t do anything that’s going to put you in harm’s way. Think of your mother.”
“I fucking am! I’m going to kill those bastards for her, and for my father!”
Chapter 3
Holt
“Before you do anything stupid, kid, this needs to go before the Wolf Council. One wrong move and you can lose the Alpha seat,” Trey said.
“You already told me I’d make a terrible Alpha, so what’s the use fighting for something I’m going to suck at? And stop calling me kid! My name is Holt and I’m a fucking man now.”
“Okay. Holt. You aren’t thinking straight right now. And just an FYI, your age may make you a man, but your mentality right now is that of a child. A spoiled, distraught, heart-broken child. Look, I get that you’re pissed and you want revenge. Hell, I want to help you destroy those fuckers who took your father from us, but we have to go about it the right way. Not the hard-headed, ‘I lost my fucking mind,’ way. Get it?” Trey sat shaking his head at me, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Yeah, yeah. I guess I get it.”
“Good. Now sit down and let’s talk this through. I guarantee the Council will see things our way, they just hate when Alpha’s and shifters circumvent the Wolf Law.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m so damned mad! How could they do that to him? And us? What kind of men would just kill him? My father wouldn’t have hurt anyone unless he was provoked and defending the Pack. What did murdering him solve?” I had so many questions that I knew I’d never get answers for.
“There are just some evil and fucked up people in the world. Only they know why they chose to destroy your father and our family.”
“I just don’t get it. Why would they come into the park and do this? We’ve been there for decades and this has never happened before.”
“Someone probably called and reported us. Our Pack numbers have grown over the years. Not everyone is as careful where they let their pups play anymore. If we have Wolves venturing off in the wrong places, we run the risk of scaring the humans. All it takes is for one of them to see a wolf, freak out, and pick up the phone.”
“Before we talk anymore, I need to check on my mom and take her some food. She needs to eat something to keep her strength,” I said.
“Yeah, make sure to take care of her. I’m not going anywhere,” Trey replied.
I warmed a plate of leftovers and poured a glass of milk, then made my way down the hall. I tapped on the door twice, but when there was no answer I opened the door and walked in. My mom looked like she hadn’t moved an inch from when I’d left her.
“Mom,” I called. She didn’t reply. “Mom.” My second attempt to get her to stir sounded more desperate.
Just when I was ready to begin freaking out, she slowly turned her head toward me. Her eyes were puffy and red.
“No food,” she muttered. Her voice didn’t sound like hers.
“You need to eat something. At least drink some milk.”
“Just leave it on the desk.” She sat up and looked at me.
“Mom.” Her eyes followed me with each step I took closer to her.
“You look like your father. You always have. I think that’s why you had such a close bond with him.” Her eyes welled with tears.
“It’s going to be okay.” I sat on the edge of the bed, next to her.
“So you say. I’m not sure I believe that.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what my life means anymore. He was my world.” She wiped the tears from her eyes.
“I know,” I said. She reached her hand out to mine and held tight, then brought it to her lips.
“You’re all I have left, Barry. I can’t lose you.”
“I feel the same about you. I can’t lose you. We have each other, and somehow we’ll get through this.” I pulled my mom close and wrapped my arms around her. She melted into me and sobbed.
“Who’s here besides Dolph?” she asked, her voice muffled as she spoke into my chest.
“Trey’s here. He managed to escape and he came as soon as he felt what happened.”
“That was nice of him to come here. I’m glad he’s safe and well.”
“We’re going to get the men who did this to Dad.” My voice was strong and powerful.
She pressed back away from me and stared into my eyes. “No! Absolutely not, Barry.”
“You can’t talk me out of this.”
“Barry, listen to me. You’re the rightful leader of the Pack. You have to lead with a level head. You can’t allow your emotions to rule you.”
“What Pack? Who’s the Pack, Mom? There are four of us. That’s not a pack,” I scoffed.
“You can get everyone back. You need to free the others, and once the Council appoints you, you’ll realize the powers of Alpha. Then you can find the others who aren’t here. Barry, I’m begging you. Please let this revenge idea go.”
“I can’t. I want them all to die,” I ground out between my clenched jaws.
“I do, too, but this isn’t the way. What am I supposed to do if something happens to you?” She sat up straight and reached her hand to my cheek, then stroked my face. “My beautiful son. As your mother, I’m telling you no. No, you cannot get revenge on them.”
“Sorry, Mom. This has to be done. What they did can’t go unpunished. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t make them pay with their lives. They. Will. Die!”
My mother tried to calm me and talk me out of my mission despite her own grief, but to no avail. Her sadness had been temporarily replaced by fear. She was afraid she’d lose me. She thought I might meet the same fate as her soul mate. But I wasn’t the one who was going to lose my life; they were. When I’d heard enough of her objecting, I told her it was not her decision to make and left the room. I
felt like a complete dick for talking to her that way, but it was time for me to take a stand. To be a man.
When I returned to the kitchen, I found food for Dolph, Trey, and me. I was starving, and I knew formulating a good plan would require proper nourishment.
After eating all the leftovers I rummaged in the refrigerator, looking for more food. Everything else would need to be cooked, and I didn’t have time for that. Instead, Trey suggested we go out for a hunt. He said a good hunt would give us an outlet to run off some of the emotions, and we could take out our aggression on our prey.
We returned about an hour later, and I should have been full after eating an entire deer by myself, but my stomach felt empty, like my heart. The temporary distraction was much-needed, but my father was still gone. No amount of running, chasing, or killing dinner was going to bring him back. But there was something else unsettling. Something just felt like it was missing.
After showering and getting dressed I walked into the kitchen. My mother was sitting at the table with her robe wrapped tightly around her.
“Are you feeling any better?” I asked.
“No. But you could make me feel a little better if you tell me you’ll drop this idea of retaliation.”
“I can’t tell you that. If I did, I’d be lying.”
“I never realized I raised you to be so vindictive.”
“Vindictive? Seriously? They killed my father!” I screamed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you, but this war was started by them. My plan is to finish it.”
“Sweetheart, you don’t know what you’re doing. Leave it be.”
I was stunned. She had no faith in me. My stomach rumbled, breaking the silence that hung in the air.
Without any hesitation, she stood from her seat and pulled a package of meat out of the refrigerator and prepared to cook it. I watched her. I admired my mother, and normally I did as she asked. But this was one thing I couldn’t do. I couldn’t just let this go.
The meat smelled delicious and my mouth watered in anticipation. It was my favorite; venison chops. She made a slew of vegetables, but all I wanted was to sink my fangs into that meat. When everything was done, she plated some food for me and set it on the table.
“You’re not eating?” I asked.
“I’m not hungry,” she ground out her reply.
I pushed my plate to the middle of the table. “If you’re not eating, neither am I.” My stomach rumbled again.
“Your stomach says otherwise.”
“Then you need to eat something, anything. You can’t starve yourself.”
“You’re quite demanding. What’s gotten into you?”
“I don’t want to lose you, Mom. And starving is a terrible way to go. So please, for me, eat something.”
I watched her begrudgingly retrieve a plate and cut a small piece of meat for herself, then she took a few vegetables before setting her plate on the table. She pushed my plate back in front of me, then sat back down.
“Happy?”
“For now.”
We sat and ate in silence, with the exception of my stomach continuing to growl in hunger.
“You can’t get full?” Mom asked.
“I think my appetite is out of control because my emotions are all jacked up.” I said. It seemed like the more I ate, the hungrier I got. What the hell is wrong with me, I thought.
“Maybe it’s the Hunger,” Mom said. Her eyes shifted from her plate to meet mine. She had a smirk on her face.
“That’s crazy. The Hunger isn’t real. I think it’s a fairy tale you just made up,” I scoffed.
“It’s no fairy tale, Barry. It’s real. It’s very real.”
I was done listening to that nonsense story. But something was driving me to a feeding frenzy. The need to feed my non-stop voracious appetite was becoming unbearable. At this rate, I’d be out hunting throughout the night in an attempt to satisfy my rapacious cravings.
Chapter 4
Holt
My mother was kind enough to continue bringing me food after I scarfed down one heaping plate of pancakes and venison sausage. She made herself a plate with a small amount of food; then sat at the table with me. She watched me shovel food into my mouth like I hadn’t eaten in a week. She proceeded to say she thought it was time for me to find my soul mate. She insisted this Hunger mumbo-jumbo was to blame for my insatiable appetite and angst.
I hate to admit it, but I tuned her out. Talking about a mate was the last thing I wanted to hear. The loss of my father was to blame for my anguish, period. And in typical fashion, the same as when I was younger, I turned to food for some form of comfort. My mother should have known that because that had been my coping mechanism in the past. My excessive eating and extra weight when I was younger was one of the reasons I was tormented so much by that wretched Veronica. It had become a vicious cycle. Eat, gain weight, fight weight off. Repeat.
As I got older, I’d worked out extremely hard during college for long hours to lose the weight and perfect my body once and for all. I wanted to look like someone who should be called Holt, not look like fat-boy Barry with a new name, like others had teased. Those days were behind me and, even though my appetite seemed quite abnormal right at that time, I was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure the weight gain didn’t happen ever again.
“Are you listening to me?” She asked.
My mom had pleaded over and over with me not to jeopardize my own safety by engaging in a war with the humans right away. She swore the men would be dealt with in due time. Patience wasn’t my strong suit. I wanted revenge and I wanted it right then, but I appeared to be honoring my mother’s wish because Trey was forcing me to be patient, too.
“I hear ya,” I said through my mouthful of food.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full. What kind of impression are you going to make on your mate? She’ll think her life partner is a caveman or something.”
I swallowed and laughed. “Can we not talk about this soul mate stuff?” My mom shook her head, then joined in with a light chuckle.
The mood seemed to have lifted for a brief moment, and there was no way I was going to let her in on the secret that Trey, Dolph, and I had an appointment with the Wolf Council to discuss what they deemed was appropriate later.
After Mom cleaned up the breakfast dishes, and hung up her apron she reached for her purse.
“I have to go out this morning. I have some errands to run. I shouldn’t be too long,” she said.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to go to the store. You’ve eaten nearly everything we had.”
“Promise me you won’t shift. It’s not safe.”
“Yes, dear. Always the worrier. The same person who wants to initiate a war with a Pack of four.” She chuckled. “Barry, do me a favor, please.”
“Sure, Mom.”
“Keep an eye on the house and our land. And spend your energy on finding the rest of the Pack and your soul mate. To be a strong Alpha, you’ll need to have her by your side.”
“Yeah, yeah. All this soul mate stuff is really too much right now.”
“Barry,” she said. “Sweetheart, I love you. Always remember that. Will you do that for me?”
“Of course, Mom. I love you, too.”
“I should be back soon.” With that, she gave me a tighter-than-normal hug, one last glance, then she turned on her heels and pulled the door closed behind her.
It was almost nine in the morning. I was expecting Trey and Dolph to come by so we could make our way to the Council to get everything situated. Then we could begin to strategize the best way to free the members of the Pack. We had to get this right. A lot was riding on us being successful. My father used to always tell me to give my best effort. This time I had to do better than that. There were quite a few others counting on me to step up.
“Hey,” Dolph said as he walked in the door without even knocking. “What’s for breakfast?”
“We don’t have any more
food. Mom just left to go shopping. We can go find something. I’m starving, too.”
“I just saw her. Is she okay?”
“I guess. Why do you ask that?”
“I don’t know. She seemed preoccupied. When I said hi to her, she didn’t hear me. I had to walk over directly in front of her, and she nearly ran into me before she realized I was there. Without saying a word, she pulled me into a tight hug. It just seemed strange to me.”
“Mom has a lot on her mind. We’re going to have my father cremated, and that’s upsetting her, too. I’ll talk to her when she gets back.”
“Have you had any luck being able to hear any of the others yet?” Dolph asked.
“Nothing. I thought I’d automatically become Alpha and have the same powers my father had.”
“You didn’t pay attention to anything your father told you, did you?” Trey questioned. His entrance was stealthy, and he startled me.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“The Council needs to acknowledge you as Alpha. And even then, it will take some time to hone the ability to hear the others. It’s not like they wave a magic wand over your head. Good grief,” Trey said as he shook his head.
“Yeah, well,” I started. I had nothing to say. My father probably did tell me that.
“Well, let’s get prepped for this meeting with the Council. We can’t go in there half-cocked.” Trey tilted his head, and let his eyes roll while he looked in my direction. I knew that was a cheap shot directed at me.
We sat and talked for nearly an hour. My stomach continued to rumble throughout our discussion. It felt like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. I thought my stomach acid was going to begin eating a hole in my gut from the inside out if I didn’t get some food.
“We need to get some food in your stomach, then we need to get going. We can’t be late. They will frown on you as Alpha if you’re so much as one second late,” Trey said.
“How do you know so much about this?” I asked.
Holt: A Wolf's Hunger Alpha Shifter Romance Page 2
