by Edun, Terah
“There is always a choice,” she said, her voice dark and unforgiving.
Sebastian reached up with a finger to wipe away the falling teardrop. Ciardis lashed out with a quiet and fierce hate in her voice, “Do not touch me.”
Startled Sebastian turned his emerald green eyes to Ciardis’s golden ones and he watched the tear track down her face. She felt his emotions rise in response. He was so close that there bond was activating even without physical touch. What he felt she felt and she knew exactly what emotions were flowing through his mind now: surprise, dismay, hurt. Ciardis’s locked away his emotions in a detached, clinical manner. He didn’t deserve to have an influence on her feelings.
Chapter 5
Ciardis’s lips thinned as she said, “You wanted me bound? I’m bound. Let’s proceed.”
“Take care, little mage,” said Lord Chamberlain in a cold and imperial voice. “We wouldn’t want to go too fast. You might inadvertently set off the magic of the truth serum.”
Ciardis hesitated and then said, “What do you mean?”
“The truth serum is keyed to the vitals in your body. The beat of your heart, the speed of your pulse, the sweat that sprouts from your skin, and the tic of your muscles as you answer each question. If it detects a lie, even one as small as an omission, the lines of fire will heat up until they burn,” Lord Chamberlain said. “The larger the lie, the hotter the flame.”
Ciardis felt a shudder move through her body.
“Will it kill me?”
“No,” said Lady Arabella in a considering tone. “But it will cause you a great deal of pain.”
Ciardis closed her eyes momentarily as she felt a wave of panic nearly overtake her.
Vana spoke, “Just be truthful, Ciardis Weathervane, that’s all we ask.” The dark melodies in her voice said she was upset about something. Ciardis just hoped it wasn’t with her. When she opened her eyes again she saw that Sebastian had moved to stand behind and to the left of Vana and Arabella. He still stood in front of her, just at a distance. The fire, the misery, the longing, and the burning in his dark green orbs wouldn’t let her eyes go. Not until she forced him to.
Ciardis fought the emotions reverberating from his presence as best as she could. She didn’t have time for his misery and his pain; he wasn’t the one about to be tortured. And quite frankly she was sick of Sebastian hiding behind protocol, behind rules, and letting her always be the one to stick her neck out in controversies. She always defended him. For once why couldn’t he be the one to defend her?
She conveniently put aside the thoughts that he had come for her and that he had tried to fight the Shadowwalker on the field of battle, giving her time to recuperate, and he had stood by her before the Imperial Courts in his own way. She was just too tired to think of all that, too scared to be rational, and too pissed to be understanding.
Ciardis broke their gaze.
She inhaled a long breath, steadied her heart, and forced herself to be relaxed.
“I’m ready.”
Arabella placed a hand on Ciardis’s shoulder where the flesh of her throat met the loose collar of her dress. “Then let us begin.”
“Is it really necessary for you to touch me?”
Irritation flashed on Arabella’s face. “The serum is for your lies. The touch is for your evasiveness; it’s my gift to ferret out the more elusive of your truths.”
“Perfect.” Ciardis managed to say it with the same rancor she might use to curse a stray dog that had peed on her favorite linens.
The frown lines didn’t ease from Arabella’s face but she didn’t respond, either, which was good enough for the Lord Chamberlain. He began.
In a cold, reflective tone he listed her crimes and asked her to deny or commit to them. He sounded like the disembodied voice of a spirit seeking her soul. She couldn’t help the small shivers than ran down her body. The lines of fire kept her from moving, and the shivers became one of the few ways for her to react, to show emotion, to show fear and to show hate. Question after question came. Answer after answer escaped Ciardis’s lips.
When he finally moved on from questioning her reasons for leaving court and journeying to the Ameles Forest to her relationship with Prince Heir Sebastian, she couldn’t help it; she laughed. It was a cold and distant sound. Lord Chamberlain paused as Ciardis fought for control.
“Forgive me.”
“This is a serious occasion, Lady Weathervane. A tie to the Imperial family and the Imperial Courts is no laughing matter,” he said.
“Oh, believe me, I know,” she replied. She was beginning to see what the duchess of Carne had meant in the gardens when she’d said the Courts were a beast that would consume her.
Vana shrugged and motioned for Lord Chamberlain to continue on.
He asked the question for a second time. “Is your relationship with Prince Heir Sebastian a true one?”
Ciardis decided that bluntness would be the easiest answer here. She wasn’t a fan of lines of pain wrapped around her bottom. “We haven’t slept together, if that’s what you’re asking.”
As soon as she uttered the words the fire of the truth serum burned bright against her skin and she yelped.
“It’s the truth! Sebastian! Tell them!” She’d left off the honorific in her fury, and damn them if they called her on it.
“No need,” Lady Arabella said. “It was the truth.”
“Then why did the pain flare?” Ciardis and Vana snapped in unison.
“Because it wasn’t the answer to the question,” Arabella said. “The truth serum doesn’t like roundabout truths.”
Ciardis was confused until Lady Arabella turned to Lord Chamberlain. “Please make your questions more direct and explicit, my lord. For all our sakes.” Ciardis thought she heard a hint of amusement in the woman’s voice. She could feel nothing but bitterness.
He coughed and said, “Let me restate the question, then, Lady Weathervane. Do you consider your relationship with the Prince Heir to be one of true friendship and loyalty?”
At one point in her life Ciardis wouldn’t have liked the answer she was about to give, but she had grown since then. She had changed from the naïve young girl new to court, and she wasn’t sure what she was now. But she answered, and she answered truthfully.
“I did.”
A pause. “And when did the feelings of true friendship and loyalty change?”
She flicked her eyes from Vana’s unreadable gaze over to where she knew Lord Chamberlain was standing. She didn’t want to answer.
“Today. My loyalty still lies to the Imperial crown. But my friendship is not Prince Sebastian’s to claim. Not anymore.”
She looked everywhere but into those green eyes. Her feelings might have changed, but the emotions—they were still the same. And she didn’t want him to see that.
“Very well,” said Lord Chamberlain. He sounded chastising. Ciardis didn’t give two rabbits’ worth of luck. Her feelings were her own.
“Did you know of the Shadowwalker before you ventured to the Ameles Forest?”
“No,” she said, voice steady. “I had heard of the murders in the Ameles Forest, that a large number of kith were being killed with ruthless efficiency by something in forest. But I didn’t know what. Maree Amber sent me with Alexandra, ahead of her own departure, to listen and learn as they found out what was killing the kith. It wasn’t until later that we found out that it wasn’t just kith but also human victims as well. And a while yet still before the murders were linked to the Shadowwalker.”
“Did you have any contact with the Shadowwalker or his servants before you came to the Ameles Forest?”
Ciardis thought hard and swallowed. “Yes, the other Weathervane was in Sandrin.”
This brought whispers of disbelief all around.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” That exclamation came from Lady Arabella.
Ciardis answered with the truth: “I didn’t know you.” She couldn’t help but feel but a modicum of satisfact
ion when she said that. She had found a way around the serum—a direct and explicit truth.
Vana held up a warning hand and Ciardis turned cautious eyes to the woman clothed in chainmail. “Where did you meet the second Weathervane, for how long, and what did you discuss? The whole answer, Ciardis.” Her tone left no doubts.
“I was in the Bookbinders’ district after attending the pre-trial hearing at the magistrate’s court in order to testify on the duchess of Carne’s actions the night before. He appeared in the shop and proceeded to do nothing but stare at me for what felt like minutes. We spoke for only seconds and he was exceedingly cryptic. He didn’t tell me who he was and I didn’t think to interrogate him before he disappeared.”
The truth serum didn’t react. She had left nothing unsaid.
“You didn’t know who he was?” The incredulous tone in Lady Arabella’s words left Ciardis bristling with anger.
“I was told from the moment that I arrived at Court that I was the only Weathervane. That my special status would vault me to the highest echelons of society, since the Companions’ Guild and Imperial Courts hadn’t seen a talent like mine since thirty years prior, when my mother arrived on the scene as the belle of the balls. I believed there was no other Weathervane. How was I to know?”
“All true,” said Lord Chamberlain in a dolorous tone. He stepped into her line of sight and smiled in a way that she could only describe as like that of a cat lapping cream. “Your brother never came to court, and of course never served in the Companions’ Guild. So how would you know that he was living and breathing on this very earth?”
Ciardis didn’t have an answer aside from the fact that the question felt rhetorical, but the truth serum didn’t know that. It began to heat up the lines on her body, insisting that she answer.
“I wouldn’t,” she hissed out through gritted teeth.
A small smile of victory eased onto the man’s face. “Do you know of the current whereabouts of the second Weathervane?”
“No,” Ciardis said with dull eyes.
“Do you know why he was at the Shadowwalker’s side?”
“No,” she said.
“Do you even know your brother’s name?”
“No,” she said for a third time.
Ciardis had never felt as much hate for a person as she felt right now for Lord Chamberlain. Not even for the Shadowwalker. Well, maybe for the Shadowwalker. But that was a lot of hate, and Lord Chamberlain was now right at the top of that list.
An uncomfortable air permeated the tent until Lady Vana stepped forward. “Enough. She knows nothing more about the second Weathervane. I believe our questions have been answered with satisfaction. Do you agree, Lady Arabella?”
Vana took her eyes off Ciardis for a moment to stare at Arabella as she impatiently waited for an answer to her question. Ciardis watched as Lady Arabella’s dilated pupils slowly shrunk back to a normal size and she visibly got a hold of herself. She licked her lips and answered, “Yes, I believe we’re done.”
If Ciardis didn’t know any better, she would have said that the Lady Arabella had enjoyed the questioning...far too much. “Release her,” was Lady Vana’s command. If she noticed anything wrong, she didn’t say.
Arabella reached into the pocket of the wide split-bottom dress she wore and produced a second vial. This one glowed with the cool shine of moonlight rippling on blue water. She took the same amount of liquid that she had taken from the vial of truth serum and smeared the tiny drop on top of the serum dotted on Ciardis’s wrist. For a moment the antidote interacted with the agent on Ciardis’s skin and she felt blessed coolness flow over her like the crisp touch of a chilly day before fall. She couldn’t help but give a smile of relief as first the fire and then the angry buzz of warning disappeared and her body finally relaxed from its rigid posture.
She had been forced to stand without movement for over an hour. She felt no embarrassment when her legs collapsed underneath her, but she did feel pain. The kind that came like an angry nest of bees up your muscles after sitting still for far too long and your legs locked up. Her blood was rushing through the stiff muscles and her circulation was increasing as a result. She couldn’t help the moan that came from her mouth and she sat slumped on the floor, waiting for her legs to wake up and for her body to carry her out of here.
Prince Sebastian came forward. She saw his stylized boots appear on the floor in front of her. She didn’t bother looking up beyond the leather and the trailing cloak. She didn’t want to see his face. He dropped a hand down to her eye level as he knelt to help her up. At the moment her arms were the only things holding her up, as her legs still lay collapsed beneath her. That didn’t stop her from hissing as he reached forward to grip her arms, “I said: Do not touch me. And I meant it.”
A cackle of genuine amusement came from Lady Arabella behind her.
Lady Vana hadn’t bothered to kneel by her side once the vial’s antidote had been administered. She looked down at Ciardis with contempt on her face, “You can’t stay on the floor.”
Ciardis laughed with bitterness. “I’ll do as I please. Unless I’m under arrest?”
“You’re free to go back to Sandrin, should you wish,” said Lady Arabella.
“What I wish is to be left alone.” There was silence all around her. When she said nothing more, they all left the tent one by one. Prince Sebastian lingered the longest, but when she refused to acknowledge his presence eventually he left, too.
Ciardis felt the tears she’d been holding back rush up as soon as the tent flap closed behind his back. Ugly, gut-wrenching sobs escaped from her throat. She hadn’t cried this loudly since she was five and was tossed out of the school by the schoolmarm for not being able to pay the dues. It hadn’t been the thought of learning that had caused her tears back then so much as losing out on doing the same thing as every other child in the village. This felt the same. The sense of loss—the loss of identity, the loss of the tenuous links of friendships she’d thought she had. At the time it had felt like the end of the world, just as it did now. She had thought Sebastian and Vana were her friends and that they would fight for her, but instead they had lied to her face and turned their backs on her. The more she thought about it, the more the tears came. She didn’t even realize another person was in the tent until her body was scooped up and she was being cradled in a nest of fur. Maris had come in moments before. As she cradled Ciardis she tried speaking to the sobbing girl to calm her, but Ciardis was having none of it. Now that she had a comforting lap to cry on, she wasn’t ready to be reasonable. She sobbed tears and snot onto Maris’s black-spotted snow white fur and clutched her shoulders with a ferocity that belied her small size.
After twenty minutes had passed, Maris had had enough.
She told Ciardis, “I’ll comfort you, but I won’t coddle.”
Ciardis sniffled as tears continued to drip down her face.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because they tortured me...” Ciardis said through open-mouthed sobs.
“Are you sure? Tears of pain are different from tears of retribution.”
Ciardis’s sobs were stifled.
“You are a Weathervane child. You’re better than this. Better than them. Now get up. Clean up your face and I’ll make you a tincture for the lingering aches in your muscles.”
“Why are you doing this?” Ciardis face was still muffled in the fur of Maris’s shoulder.
“Because a lot more heartache and pain is coming your way, and you must be ready,” Maris responded with a growl, “You must be prepared.”
“Prepared for what?”
“The war that is coming,” Maris said with finality, forcibly gripping the small, human arms that were locked tight about her neck and pushing them down. She set Ciardis on her feet with barely any effort. Even if had Ciardis tried to keep clutching on to her, Maris could have restrained her with as small an effort as the one she put in now. Any chimera could.
“What happens now
?” Ciardis said softly.
“You need to decide whether or not you want to act like a child or a woman grown. There are many challenges in the North, challenges the empire won’t or can’t hear,” Maris replied as she straightened up.
“What makes it my duty to accept these challenges? I’m just a companion trainee.” Her shoulders were slumped, her mouth stuck out, and her eyes were still puffy from the tears. She looked like a five year old whose sweets had been taken away.
“Everyone has a responsibility to the Empire—big or small. You must do your part. As to what that part is, the knowledge will come in time.”
Ciardis was barely listening to her speak of destiny. She was still hoping for a warm cup of cider to be thrust into her hands and to be pushed back into a warm, soothing cocoon of blankets as she slept away her misery. She wasn’t ashamed. She was damn tired.
The chimera healer smiled as if she could read Ciardis’s thoughts and was amused by them. Ciardis barely kept herself from flinching at that smile. Maris may have been a healer and a comfort to her, but that didn’t change the fact that her muzzle hid the sharp and plentiful teeth of a predator. It was like staring into the maw of a woodland tiger and preparing to meet your death.
Maris reached up quickly and slapped a paw on the top of Ciardis’s curly head. The force, gentle as it was, made Ciardis’s knees buckle. The quick work of Maris’s other arm kept her from falling.
“It’s time, cub,” Maris said with a gentle growl, “for you to face your fears and to attend the meeting.”
“What meeting?”
Ciardis had a brief moment to wonder if the paw on her head was some kind of chimera goodbye before she felt a rush of power and energy like nothing she had ever felt before. It rushed down through her head and across her body like a warm and energizing glow. She felt her physical form strengthen and her mind clear like a lake that had been shrouded by a dark mist and could now see the sun.
