by Pamela Clare
“Where’s he located?”
Dunphy pulled something else up on screen, then his eyes shot to Alex. “DC.”
Alex straightened as they all absorbed that new threatening piece of information, then started issuing orders. Zahra and Evers took off down the hall to gather the people he’d sent them after. “Claire,” he added sharply.
She froze in the middle of whatever she’d been typing into her own laptop and blinked up at him. “Yes?”
“You’re working with Gage on this. Whatever personal problems you have with him, you put them aside,” he added when her mouth parted in shock. “Understood?”
Spots of pink colored her cheeks. “Yes, sir,” she muttered, casting Gage an accusatory look out of the corner of her eye.
Well, that was easy, he thought, dragging out a chair to sit beside her. The fresh, clean scent of citrus hit him as he lowered himself into it. Her spine was as rigid as a flagpole and she refused to look at him. He couldn’t let things stay awkward. “Hey,” he said softly so that no one else would overhear. “We made a good team once. Pretty sure we can pull it off again here.”
She turned her head to look at him, really look at him, and what he saw in her eyes caught him totally off guard. Regret. And maybe even a hint of longing before she masked it. She turned her face away with a resigned nod, leaving him reeling. In all his wildest imaginings he’d never thought she’d missed him. When she’d cut him out of her life without looking back, he’d always assumed she’d moved on and fallen out of love with him. Or that she hadn’t really loved him in the first place.
What he’d just seen in her face told him differently and a painful burst of hope filled his chest. He swallowed and shifted in his seat, battling the need to tow her out into the hall and drag the truth out of her, demand answers to the million questions racing through his brain. Why? Why had she done it if she still felt those things for him? But a full frontal assault like that would send her running back behind the barricade she’d erected between them, and then she’d fortify the fucker until he’d never be able to get through it again.
He could be patient. Maybe. If it didn’t kill him first.
“So where do you want to start?” she asked him, all business as she pulled up files on her screen.
Back at the exact moment when you changed your mind about us. “Let’s take another look at what’s going on in that forum. Might be able to get some leads there.” It was as good a place as any and right now he was content to savor being this close to her again, to be able to breathe in her achingly familiar scent and drink in the sight of her profile at close range. God he wanted to touch her though.
He watched her slim, elegant fingers hit the keys with a muted click, watched her square her shoulders as the website came on screen. “All right. Let’s do this.”
Claire might not like being paired with him, but she was a consummate professional and would act accordingly while they worked together. The trick was going to be keeping her close enough to guard her after hours until they could ensure the threat was neutralized. Without her picking up on it, even though she was one of the smartest people he’d ever met.
Yeah, he didn’t stand a chance in hell at pulling that off.
*
My God, had a work day ever gone so slowly before? She couldn’t remember one ever being longer.
Claire rode down the elevator with Gage and Hunter, feeling caged in between their muscular builds in the confined space. Bad enough that she’d been paired with Gage for at least part of this investigation, but she knew without a doubt that Alex had taken these two down to his office to talk about her and the possible threat against her. No one had said a word to her about the meeting since and it pissed her off. If she was in danger she had a right to know what was happening just as soon as new information came in. Except she knew Gage would never hide something that important from her, no matter what. Didn’t mean she wasn’t curious as hell about what had been said in Alex’s office though.
“I’m starved,” Hunter said as the elevator passed the third floor. “You guys want to grab a bite together?”
Gage stole a sideways glance at her, probably weighing her reaction. If it had been just him and her she would have declined, but they’d worked right through lunch without stopping and she needed to eat. Hunter would be the perfect buffer between her and Gage and it wasn’t like she could avoid being with him anyway. “Sure,” she answered. “Where did you have in mind?”
“What about that Mexican place you told me about that time?”
“God, yeah. I could do with some melted cheese right about now.” Gage stayed silent to the point that she began to feel uncomfortable. They reached the lobby and the elevator doors parted. She raised an eyebrow at him. “You coming with us?”
“Love to,” he answered with a smile that made her heart ache. He used to smile at her like that all the time, so easy and unrestrained. Maybe eating dinner together wasn’t such a good idea.
“You guys can follow me.” She walked with them through the exit and across the vast parking lot. Gage was parked close to her—not by accident, she knew—and climbed into his truck. When both of them were ready she pulled onto the street and drove to the Mexican place.
They sat in a booth at the window, the men across from her. She wasn’t sure if it was worse to have Gage beside her or across from her where she couldn’t avoid looking at him. The pale blue button down he wore emphasized the muscular lines of his shoulders but hid his tats. Shame, that. They were beautiful and each bit of ink told a story about what was most important to him. His daughter, his life as a Green Beret, and the men he’d lost while serving his country.
“So, how’ve things been going?” Hunter asked her as he set his menu down.
“Good. Just busy with work, family stuff.” She could feel Gage’s gaze on her, knew he read far more into that than Hunter would. “What about you? I heard you convinced Khalia to move in with you.”
Hunter’s harsh features transformed into a broad smile that made his eyes twinkle. “I did. Couldn’t be happier about it.”
She smiled back. “That’s great to hear. How’s she doing? I mean, considering everything she’s been through.” Her father had been murdered by the same TTP cell that may or may not be targeting Claire now. They’d done their best to kill Khalia when she’d gone to Pakistan in her father’s stead to set up the Fair Start school in the Swat Valley. If not for Hunter and the rest of the Titanium team, they would have succeeded.
“It’s not easy for her, not gonna lie, but she’s managing better than either of us expected. Her therapist is blown away by her positive attitude, her willingness to overcome everything. Still has bad times, some nightmares, but she knows I’ve been there and that I get it. She even gets me talking about my own shit sometimes.”
Claire widened her eyes, because getting one of these Spec Ops-trained alpha males to open up like that was next to impossible. “I’m impressed. And does it help?”
Another smile, so full of love it set off a twinge in her chest. “It does. Never thought I’d tell her about a lot of the stuff, but sometimes I need to. She listens. Makes it easier that she’s seen too much shit herself, because I know she understands where I’m coming from most of the time.”
“I’m so happy for you.” She truly was. “Think I’ll ever get to meet her?”
“She might come up for a few days before she heads to DC for a conference next weekend. We’ve started up a foundation for a buddy of mine we lost the night of the riots in Pakistan.”
“Scottie Easton?”
Hunter smiled in appreciation that she knew the name. “That’s him. It’s going to provide privately funded counseling, therapy, job training and education for vets suffering from injury or other things like PTSD. Our services will be off the record so no one’s security clearances will be jeopardized. It was all Khalia’s idea. I’m helping with some of it, and I’m really looking forward to making a difference. God she’
s amazing.” He shook his head, grinned and picked up his Corona, took a long pull. “How’s your brother these days?”
She sighed. “Not good. We’ve tried everything. At one point we thought he might qualify for a therapy dog but they assessed him as not being capable of taking care of one.” Looking back, in some ways that now seemed like the tipping point for Danny. Being told he wasn’t even able to care for a dog had hit him hard, made him even more resentful. She and her father had briefly thought about adopting a dog and taking it over to see him a few times a week, but never followed up on it. Maybe they should talk about it again. Unconditional love in the form of a wagging tail and velvety brown eyes might help lift some of the depression at least. Or she could be grasping at straws again.
Hunter nodded, his eyes full of understanding. “Maybe we can find someone through our foundation who might be able to try something different. There are all kinds of new ground breaking treatments coming out.”
“I’d love that. Dad and I are at our wit’s end with him. If you come up with anything, let me know?”
“Absolutely. I’ll tell Khalia tonight when I call her later. You’ll probably have an e-mail full of resources from her when you turn on your computer tomorrow morning.”
“Ah, a woman of efficiency. I like her already.” She cast a glance at Gage, who’d been quietly sipping his own beer through the entire conversation, break the ice a bit more. She felt the need to draw him into it. “And you? How’s Janelle doing these days? I haven’t talked to her in a couple weeks.”
“She’s good. Her mom’s making her buckle down at school and she’s on the girls’ volleyball team there. She always asks me about you whenever I talk to her.”
Janelle was a sweetheart, and not quite fourteen going on twenty-five. Wasn’t easy growing up a military brat, let alone in a divorced family with strained relations between your parents, Claire knew this firsthand, yet Janelle seemed to be handling it well. She now lived in Nashville with her mother. “Do you get to see her very often these days?”
“Not as much as I’d like, but things are better between us now so we talk a lot more than we used to. She texts me all the time. Worried about her old man, I guess, no matter what I do to reassure her.”
Yeah, Claire knew exactly how that felt. All the stress and worry about her father and brother had been compounded by fear for Gage every time he’d taken a job overseas. That had proven to be the breaking point for her. After what had happened to both men in her family she’d sworn never to live that kind of life again. Not even for Gage. “I’ll call her this week. Bet she’ll get a kick out of us working together.”
The corner of Gage’s mouth quirked, drawing her gaze to those sexy lips. God, the things the man had done to her with that mouth. “Yeah, she will.”
The meals came and the conversation flowed easily around the table. The way Gage and Hunter ribbed each other made her laugh and miss being part of that inner circle and privy to the easy banter between military men. After they finished eating she excused herself from the table and went to the washroom, intercepting their server on the way so she could pay the bill. Gage and Hunter protested when they discovered what she’d done but she waved it off.
“So,” she began, picking up her sweater from the padded seat of the booth. “You guys gonna tell me what went on in Alex’s office?”
They both blinked up at her, innocent as choir boys. She wasn’t buying it for a second. “Seriously? I can’t believe you guys won’t tell me!”
“Nothing we haven’t already covered with the rest of the team,” Gage answered evenly.
Arms folded across her chest, Claire turned her glare on Hunter. “You swear?”
He held up his hands, palms out. “I swear. If there was anything going down, I’d tell you no matter what the NSA said.”
Satisfied, she nodded. “Okay then, guess that’s all I’m gonna get out of you. See you guys in the morning?”
They both stood and Gage took a step toward her. “You headed home?”
She wished. “No, I have to pick up a bunch of groceries and drop them off for my dad and Danny first. Danny’s fridge was empty when I was there yesterday.”
He nodded, snagged his keys from his pocket. “I’ll follow you.”
“You don’t have t—”
“Don’t bother arguing.”
Okay, then.
She headed for the door, both men trailing behind her. She and Gage waved to Hunter as he climbed into his own truck and they continued to where they’d parked side by side. Tension gathered in Claire’s belly. She was acutely aware of all the things left unsaid between them, piling up into a wall neither one of them would be able to ignore for much longer.
In some ways she’d have preferred he confront her about the breakup straight out. No way could they work together on this taskforce and dance around that landmine for much longer. But he didn’t bring it up. In fact he didn’t say anything at all as he walked her to her vehicle and insisted on opening the door for her. His Southern manners were as much a part of him as the fighting skills the Army had drilled into him. It was one of the things she loved and missed about him most.
Standing beside the open driver’s door, she almost blurted Are we going to talk about it? Self-preservation made her hold back. She smiled her thanks, wished him a good night and allowed him to shut the door for her. When he’d turned his back she leaned her forehead onto the steering wheel and blew out a deep breath. God, this hurt. She was such an idiot to think she could ever fall out of love with that man. What the hell was she going to do now?
His truck’s engine roared to life beside her. Straightening, she drove to the nearest grocery store, filled a shopping cart and drove first to her dad’s place. He wasn’t home, likely halfway through his twelve hour shift at the shipyard. Just as she’d suspected his fridge was pretty much bare save for the requisite twenty-four pack of beer on the top shelf. Not for the first time she was thankful that he was as high-functioning an alcoholic as he was, showing up for work every shift and paying his bills on time.
At the door she paused to examine a framed photo of the three of them hanging on the wall. Her, her father and Danny on the day of her brother’s graduation from SF school. Danny looked so handsome in his uniform, so full of confidence and excitement about what the future would bring, her father’s smile so proud. Staring at the photo now, her eyes stung. She shut off the foyer light and locked the door behind her.
Gage followed her next to Danny’s. At his door she knocked a few times but there was no answer. Berating herself for the jolt of fear that seized her, she set the groceries down and dug her spare key out of her pocket. Her hand shook as she turned the brass knob. Inside she found Danny passed out on the couch, vials of pills lined up next to him on the coffee table. Pausing in the kitchen doorway, she stared at his chest. It was moving up and down. Claire closed her eyes and let out a breath of relief. For a moment she’d thought—
“Everything all right?”
She whirled around to find Gage standing in the apartment doorway. She’d been so focused on making sure Danny was okay she hadn’t realized she’d left it wide open. “He’s just sleeping,” she whispered, the flood of relief draining what little energy she had left. “I’ll unpack these and get going. He’s not going to wake up anytime soon.”
Probably better that he didn’t until she was gone, so they could avoid another awkward or hostile encounter. And God only knew what Danny would think about having Gage in his apartment, playing witness to his epic downward spiral. Back when she’d first introduced them Danny had clearly worshipped Gage, and would always respect his status as former SF Master Sergeant no matter what.
Shaking her head, she started putting everything away. Gage moved around the tiny kitchen without a word, helping to straighten up the mess Danny had left while Claire stocked the fridge and pantry with staples. Bread, butter, milk and eggs. Peanut butter, apples and bananas. His favorite brand of cookie. She kn
ew he’d send her a thank you text whenever he woke up and saw what she’d done.
She sucked in a breath as the tears clogged her throat.
“Hey.” Large, gentle hands closed over her shoulders.
Claire gave a sharp shake of her head and twisted away, barely hanging on to her control. She couldn’t handle his gentleness and concern right now. If he touched her again she would crumble and she couldn’t afford to.
Before leaving she stopped at the couch to cover Danny with a blanket. She bent to kiss his scruffy cheek and left him, locking the door quietly behind her. Gage was right behind her. The weight of his stare pressed between her shoulder blades all the way down the stairs to the exit.
Outside the sky was a deep cobalt blue, a thousand stars twinkling brightly overhead. Tipping her head back, she drew in a long breath.
“He like that often now?” Gage asked beside her. He stood close enough that she could feel his body heat and smell his clean, woodsy scent. In that moment, more than anything she wanted to crawl into his arms and have him hold her.
No point in lying. “Unfortunately, yes,” she admitted, turning her head to look at him. “It’s like he’s in quicksand. We’ve tried everything we know of to pull him out. But now I don’t think he even cares if he goes under.” It was weird, but in some ways she missed the rages he’d flown into. At least then he’d shown he still had some fight left. This bitter, apathetic Danny frightened her the most.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Claire. I wish I knew how to help.”
A sad smile twisted her mouth, at his sympathy and choice of words. The F bomb was so Gage. He tended to use it like an adjective, didn’t even seem to notice when he said it half the time despite his efforts to tone it down around her and Janelle. You could take a man out of the Army, but you couldn’t take the Army out of the man, and he’d been in a long time.
“It’s okay. Just hard to accept, you know? Seeing him that way and not being able to do anything.” She was silent a moment before voicing the dark truth that burned like a coal beneath her sternum. “At this point I don’t even like him anymore. Sounds awful and cold for me to say it, I’m sure, but it’s the truth.” It also told Gage how dire things had gotten without her having to explain in detail. He knew how much she’d revered her big brother.
