by Rena Marks
He never said a word. But he was worried, I could tell. Would I turn on him, angered with my lack of control?
Little did he know, I’d long since accepted my failures. Embraced them. After all, they marked me as human.
I traced his smallest finger with my index. Slowly, I touched all four of his fingers with the tips of mine and pushed them upward to raise his hand. At the same time, I placed my much smaller hand in his. As if by unspoken consent, our fingers laced.
His voice rumbled in his chest.
“It is all right?”
“Everything’s fine,” I murmured, lightly kissing the tattooed skin beneath my lips. “Thank you.”
His hand closed over my mine, dropping back down. I closed my eyes, ready to sleep, my hand curled tightly in his.
It was symbolic, somehow. The beginnings of trust with the simple hand-holding.
Chapter Six
Just as humans were amazed with my healing abilities, the vampires were too. They were curious creatures, overcoming their basic dislike of me to observe and sometimes whisper among themselves.
I hadn’t had much contact with Ethan after our unspoken night of lust. He was giving me the space I needed. I knew he feared losing the little trust we’d built. Unfortunately, it put me into direct contact with the rest of the inhabitants of the cave.
Jordan’s father, Reese, finally spoke to me. Naturally he was the bravest, being Ethan’s friend and right hand.
“What was it like to have vampire venom injected into your veins?” he asked. “That’s so unnatural. And dangerous. They could have killed you so easily.”
The rest of the vampires were quieter than usual, as they strained to listen to the conversation.
“It was horrible. It burned out many of my veins and I lost my hair. Vomiting was inevitable. Like those old-fashioned cancer cures you read about. Chemotherapy. A lot of children did die from the poisoning but I was lucky.”
“Why were you so young compared to the others?”
“I don’t know. They had a chance to take me from my mother at three. They probably would have waited until I was eight but there were court battles in which I was bounced back and forth from her house to the training facility. They decided to speed things up in case the courts made the decision to return me to my mother permanently. Once I was in the process of being stricken, the court sent me to a neutral place, a church and I only had to return to the camp for treatments. For me, training came later. But the church fought back and got laws enacted to make eight the legal age before one can be stricken. Not that it mattered in my case.” I shrugged.
“Then you don’t really know your mother?”
“Not exactly. I know of her. The nuns at the church taught me what she was like. They taught me to love her. And at the Academy, I would frequently break into personnel files. I know of her like I know myself, by study.”
“What an interesting concept! To love someone you have not seen? How is that even possible? Do you truly love, Extinguisher?”
My eyes narrowed. “I know nothing else. There is nothing to compare it to. It is love to me.”
“But to not know your mother, your child, a sibling?”
“Ethan has no relatives about. Is he incapable of love also?” I sneered.
Reese’s face wiped clean of emotion. His voice dropped to an icy whisper. “He did. Once. He had his mother and sister up until a few decades ago.”
That was a shock. I never knew he had family. I’d always assumed he was as much a loner as I was. “What happened to them?”
“His mother was killed. One of us. His sister, raped first, before death.”
He walked away before I could ask more questions. What did “one of us” mean? Did a vampire, one of them, kill her? Or did he mean she was one of them? A vampire?
I needed more information but Reese had walked away. Later that day in the camp, I listened to the vampires telling stories around me, trying in vain to entice me to talking again. I answered questions as briefly as possible, not offering any more information than was necessary. Because of my quiet state, Ethan insisted on treating me like an invalid.
“I’m fine,” I said, exasperated. “I just need some alone time. I’m not used to nests, there are too many people here. I’ll go find my own food, it’ll give me a chance to relax. By myself.”
He wanted to come, I know he did. But after succumbing to my own curiosities and finding out more than I cared to, I didn’t want any more sharing. I didn’t want to answer any questions about my own abilities. Why was I able to heal as quickly as I did without being vampire? I was always uncomfortable with my differences. Tired of being a circus show freak. Worse, a lab rat.
The sunshine was bright outside. I felt like a cavewoman in my torn and laced-up shirt and the mismatched skirt another female vamp had given me.
Being outdoors did make my stomach growl with hunger. Ethan had found a wild blackberry bush before. I could forage for berries to eat. Certain plants and leaves were also edible, however, not as tasty as the berries.
Ethan was worried that I might not find enough food in the wild to sustain me. He could be right. I had basic survival skills but they weren’t meant for long-term existence. We could plan a trip into the nearest town to steal enough for me to live on. Dried meats, stuff like that.
I eyed a small rabbit hungrily. It wasn’t yet mature enough to be very plump but hey, I heard they taste like chicken.
I sighed. I’d have to bypass my Kentucky Fried idea, or I’d horrify the blond, fuzzy-headed child spying on me.
I knew he was watching, of course. He was lucky I was experienced and not the slightest bit nervous, or he would have been staked long since.
For now, he hid behind a rock, not realizing wisps of blond stood straight up beyond the edge of where he hid. I almost sighed. He always looked like he rubbed a balloon back and forth over his head until his hair stood on end.
“What are you doing here, Jordan?” I called sharply. The vampire child from the cave always tried to follow me everywhere. His parents watched with a hawk’s eye, but they bowed to Ethan’s leadership.
“Watching you. How’d you know I was here? Whatcha doing?” His big eyes and blond fluffy hair made him look cherubic and I had to remind myself he was anything but.
“Eating.”
“It looks funny. That chewing thing. You look like one of those cows that chomps the grass.”
“It’s not so attractive to watch you sink your fangs into someone,” I muttered.
“Ethan said to Daddy if you would let him taste your blood, he can find out who you taste like.”
“Who I taste like?”
“Who sired you.”
“I was not sired,” I said in my superior tone. Who did the kid think he was? “I was infected. I am not a vampire.”
“Someone gave you his blood. We all should know who it was.”
The thought never occurred to me. Somewhere was a nest waiting for the bastard to return. Vampires lived for centuries, although he’d been captured over twenty years ago, would it just be a brief period to a spouse? Or to his…spawn? Was someone waiting, or desperately in fear of his return, losing hope with each passing year, or driving themselves insane with nerves? Should their fears be put to rest so they could realize that yes indeed, he had been decapitated when his spine was ripped from his body?
“Ethan’s not tasting me,” I muttered, more to myself.
“Why, Aftie?”
“I don’t feel comfortable with it.” I didn’t have a real answer. I couldn’t share with the child that Ethan may get more than he bargained for should he taste my blood. For who knew what secrets it contained?
“How’d you know I was here, anyway?” he asked curiously.
“I sensed you.”
“How come I can’t sense you?”
I shrugged. “Because I’m not human?”
“I thought you were.”
“Well I am,” I snapped. “But dif
ferent.”
“You’re an Extinguisher,” he said, agreeably.
“Used to be.”
“So you can morph like we do?”
“Yes.” But morphing was dangerous for humans, it took a tremendous amount of energy, wasn’t always predictable and could only be used in places you’d been to previously. Therefore, you could never guess if an Extinguisher could morph to you or not.
“Humans can’t do that,” Jordan continued.
“I know. Only vampires and other Extinguishers. Hey, does your daddy know where you are?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Well, you think he might be worried about you?”
“Nah.”
“I think so. Come on, little guy.”
I had just risen when I sensed the ripple of air that signified the arrival of an Extinguisher. Panic surged in my gut. Not now. Not while I had a child to protect. But there was no time to escape.
He materialized, fully armored, behind me.
Jordan’s eyes grew wide with terror. Before he could even think to speak out a warning, I kicked behind me, connecting with the male groin.
There was a reason why females were better Extinguishers. We didn’t have that one body part that meant instant immobilization, with or without a scream.
The Extinguisher recovered from his injury quickly enough, though I was sure he’d never sire children. He struck with his fist but I spun around and blocked it with my forearm.
I had a clear look at his face and held my shock. It was the first one, from the park. The one we suspected was infected with my blood. The one I couldn’t sense that first day until Ethan later pointed out why. Now that I knew he shared my blood, I was more apt to be aware of him.
Fortunately, his own blood would regenerate over a few weeks time, completely diluting mine from his system. They wouldn’t keep tainting him with it, for my blood was dangerous. It died, thickening and congealing. Spoiling without refrigeration, infecting him with death.
Had they known it was effective in keeping me from sensing his morphing, they might have infected others for that first element of surprise. But they would never suspect it, since this one would fail in his capture of me.
I had to distract him long enough so Jordan could dematerialize without the Extinguisher following. Problem was, Jordan was just a child. He didn’t have the common sense to save himself.
Ethan would instinctively have known the plan. But this was Jordan, and there was no way I could signal him.
The Extinguisher hit me hard. Square in the breastbone, the punch knocked me back several feet and I landed on my ass in the dirt.
He moved in for the kill but I rolled and rose to my feet before he even realized I’d moved.
Men may have the power but women have dexterity. Strength. Stamina. And a pain threshold higher than most males. Still, I was weakened from lack of proper nutrition. Roots and berries weren’t cutting it. That was the only reason why I decided to retreat instead of outright kill.
I could maim, though. Just to make a point to the rest of them.
He reached for my throat and held tight, expecting me to pull away. Instead I bent forward at the waist, locking his hand to me. Quickly. I bent his wrist backward until I heard it snap, then I struck him in the forearm. Another snap and his ulna was in two.
A raised knee connected with the elbow of the same arm, bending it at an unnatural angle. Bone three. Or four, depending on the radius. Not being a doctor, I wasn’t sure if both had broken when I snapped his forearm like a twig.
It took a span of less than three seconds. Three seconds wasn’t even enough time for his brain to register the idea to scream out his pain. He was still in shock mode that I’d quickly broken not one bone, but three, almost instantly.
He dematerialized immediately, taking his extra pieces with him.
I grabbed Jordan before we could be tracked and morphed right back to the cave.
We landed in the middle of it, a split second before Ethan burst in. “What happened?” he snapped, sensing the ripples in the natural balance of the universe.
“An ex-Exting-guisher,” Jordan yelled, his overexcited voice way too loud in the strained silence of everyone else trying to listen.
“Are you okay?” Ethan asked, reaching for me, running his hand over my arms, my legs. My scarred shoulder. Checking for injuries, his touch stayed neutral.
“She’s not broken. The other Extinguisher was,” Jordan said.
Ethan looked sharply at me. “I didn’t have the strength to terminate him.” I still refused to think of harming a colleague as killing.
“You’re still weakened.”
“A little,” I agreed. For it wasn’t a lie. I had completely healed but I hadn’t eaten enough to regain strength.
“But she broke his bones! I could hear them pop! It was gross, and one even came out of his skin. And did you see his elbow, Afton? Did you see how it bent the wrong way?” While Jordan was excited beyond belief, his mother looked a little green at the gills.
“Shh, little guy. Let’s use a quiet voice,” I murmured, after the quick glance at her.
“Okay but did you see it? And bones look funny, don’t they? All white and bloody at the same time. Eww. But it was cool, how fast you could move. Even when you’re sick. I don’t think I could move that fast when I’m a grown-up vampire. I barely saw it, like a blur.”
“Speaking of which, what were you doing with my son?” asked Reese.
I stared directly at Jordan. I was not taking the fall for this one. No way.
“Umm. I was just checking to see what she was doing, Dad.”
“Pardon?”
“I, umm, was kind of spying on Afton. A little bit. She saw me.”
“Are you supposed to morph out of the camp?”
“No, sir.”
“Come with me.”
Little Jordan knew better than to protest. He immediately followed his father, head down.
Ethan turned to me. “And you, Afton. Come with me.”
One look from me and he added a word. “Please.”
I walked the few steps over to him and he took my hand. It felt right and comforting and for the moment, I could pretend I needed him. That I didn’t always rely only on myself. When we were out of earshot of the others, I asked where we were headed.
“I’ll take you to the pond. You can wash the blood off you.”
I glanced down, surprised. I hadn’t been aware of any on me. It wasn’t mine.
Sure enough, the spray of blood from the fight with the Extinguisher mixed with dust had caked into dirty mud over my arms and legs.
“We’ll need to get you some new clothes.”
“Ethan,” I said gently. “The cold water will wash the blood out. I’m not staying. Not long enough to need a wardrobe. I need to move on.”
“You have nowhere to run. You’re an outcast. One of us.”
“I’m not one of you. I’m not a vampire.”
“You can be, bella. You’ve ingested our blood. Technically, you’re halfway there.”
My hackles rose. “I am human, Ethan. And I was stricken. I didn’t ingest.” How many times did I have to remind everyone of my humanity?
“I know, sweet. I know.”
Maybe he just meant to pacify me but right now it was exactly what I needed. My heart raced and I breathed deeply, trying to control it. Nothing else got my adrenaline flowing as quickly as the conflict of my origins. And my blood was already heated from the fight with the Extinguisher.
A fact he knew well.
We’d reached the edge of a stream. It was unusually warm. The sun reflected from the rocks around the water’s surface, sending tendrils of steam to rise gently. It was beautiful, calming and ethereal.
But then he turned me to face him, a look of despair racking his face. “Why, bella? Why did you up and leave me without looking back?”
I stared at him, studying each feature of his beautiful face. He waited for my answer, ne
ver aware of the clouds rushing across the sky on the silent demand of his emotions. I had to tread carefully, he could strike up a lightning bolt without even being aware of it.
It was so long ago, why did he just think to bring it up now? Yet I could recall every word we’d spoken as if it were yesterday.
“Tell me why you can’t stay with me,” he had demanded.
“What kind of a life would it be, Ethan? There’s no white picket fence and kids. We can’t even procreate, we’re two different species. There’s just blood and death and running.”
“Your point?” he’d asked mildly, as if none of that were important.
“You live in a vampire nest. I’m a loner. I can’t adapt.”
“You can’t adapt to living with others?”
“Not just others. Vampires. They are…you are…too different.” I shrugged.
“You’ll get used to us. Just as they’ll get used to you.”
“You’re speaking for everyone.”
“I am their leader.”
“Let’s just seize the moment. Not think about the future or forever or anything else.”
He’d gripped my arm. His touch had been unusually rough, as apparently he was a man used to getting his way. “When will you understand you are mine? Not for now. Not for later. But always.”
I had extricated his fingers from my arm. “There are lots of other people in the world. Don’t attach yourself to one.”
“Is that what they taught you as a child, bella?”
Oh, God.
“Dammit, Ethan. Why must you always bring up my childhood?”
His voice had been soft. “It makes you who you are today.”
We’d been at a standstill, back then. We’d had this conversation a hundred times, with no resolution. A fork in the road, forced to turn right or left. But we were unable to continue the way we were. That was when I’d realized I’d have to steal away like a thief in the night. As soon as the decision was made, I’d wasted no time. I’d left immediately, leaving my demanding lover behind.
I snapped back to the present. “It was better that way. You were too possessive.”
“You are like trying to catch the rain.”
