But then the doctor and nurse came in and gave me some kickass pain meds, thus commencing the blur.
I hear voices now, a male and a female. I can’t make out exactly who they are just yet because my brain isn’t working properly right now, but I know I recognize them.
“He seemed so sad,” the female says.
“Yeah, well, I think that’s to be expected. He fucked up, he knows that. And now he’s trying to fix things and it’s not going as well as he hoped it would.” This comes from the man.
“I wish I could help. I know he cares about her a lot. And even after the things he’s done, I know she still cares about him. She just needs to forgive him already, give him another chance.”
“We need to let them be, Angel. This has nothing to do with us.” Angel? Now it’s all coming back to me.
Angel and Torq are here. That’s them talking. And they’re discussing me and Ice Man.
With all the knowledge coming back to me instantly, my eyes pop open and I turn toward the voices.
They don’t notice me right away. Torq is holding Angel, her eyes closed and his face turned away from me. He’s comforting her because she feels bad for what’s going on between me and Ice Man. She shouldn’t, though. Like Torq said, this has nothing to do with her. But I know she just wants what’s best for me, and for me to be happy. That’s why this is upsetting her. I’m just not sure what to do with all of this.
I know Ice Man is sorry. I could see that clearly, even with my head feeling like somebody split open my skull and played my brain like a drum. In his eyes there was pain and remorse. I’m just not sure where those feelings are stemmed from though. Is he really sorry for what he said and how things went down and honestly wants to give this relationship a go? Or is he sorry this happened to me and just trying to do the right thing?
“Can I get a hug too?” I ask, my voice sounding harsher than I’d like from not being used. It’s dry and scratchy. Maybe water would help.
They both jump and look around the room before their eyes land on mine. It’s almost comical. Then when Angel sees me staring at them, she rushes over and practically jumps on the bed with me, taking me in her arms. “Oh my God, you’re awake! I’d been here waiting, for days, talking to you, hoping you’d wake up and now you are, and I’m so freaking happy right now, but oh no, am I hurting you?” she asks, saying everything in a rush.
I laugh softly, hugging her back, though not as hard as she’s holding me. Actually, “Uh, can’t…breathe,” I tell her, and watch as she jumps back off the bed, folding her hands behind her back.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Motioning her back on the bed, I take her hand in mine. “It’s fine, really. Just next time, don’t go all hulk on me, okay? My muscles are a little sore is all.”
She laughs. “Deal.”
Looking over to Torq, I motion him over to me as well. But he only wraps me in a half hug before kissing the top of my head like Ice Man did. “How you feelin’?” he asks.
“Oh, I’ve been better. But I think I’m good. Just tired mostly, and I feel like I’m hungover. But the doctor said that would fade.”
“Have they talked to you about the results of your MRI yet?” Angel asks.
Turning back to her, I say, “Not yet. They said it could take a little.” Just then, the door swings open and in walks the doctor. “Oh, speak of the devil.”
“Hello again. Oh, and I see you have more friends here,” Dr. Montgomery comments, smiling. He’s nice. I’ve heard horror stories about people going to the hospital and having a nightmare of a doctor. I’m just glad that didn’t happen to me.
“Yeah, I guess I’m just the popular girl today.”
“Oh shut it. You act like we’re never glad to see you,” Angel says, lightly slapping me on the leg.
Sticking my tongue out at her, I turn back to the doctor. “So, what’s the verdict, Doc?”
Looking down at the file I didn’t notice before in his hand, he flips through a few papers. “Everything looks good. The areas where there were bleeding has healed nicely, and the swelling in your brain is almost completely gone. I’d like to keep you a few more days just to make sure you’re on the mend, but as far as I can see, you’re going to make a full recovery. It will all just take some time before you are completely back to normal.”
“Oh my goodness, that’s amazing news, thank you!” Angel says excitedly, hugging me to her once more, except this time, she takes my words into consideration and doesn’t squeeze me like a lemon.
“Yeah, well, you’re not the one who has to stay here longer,” I say, then turning toward the doctor, “No offense. I just really want my own bed.”
He holds his hands up and shakes his head. “None taken, honey. I’ll do my best and see what I can do to get you home and in your own bed as soon as possible.”
With that, he leaves the room, allowing me and my best friend to catch up. She tells me about wanting to go see that psychologist and asked if I would come with her. I, of course, said yes. I would do anything for her.
She told me about the dreams she’s been having and not being able to sleep. I noticed that she hasn’t been eating very well either, and asked her about it. She promised she would try to do better.
Then, we talked about things with her and Torq when he left the room to take a phone call. She said that they had a nice talk the other day about things and she thinks they’re on the right track to make things better for her and for their relationship. I’m really glad to hear that. I know we talked a little about this subject before I left to go to Texas, but I was worried she wouldn’t have the courage to talk to Torq. I’m glad to see she finally did, though.
Bear showed up a few hours later, rushing into the room, looking frantic. But as soon as he saw me sitting up in bed, eating the shitty lunch the hospital provided, and chatting it up with Angel, he broke out into a wide smile. I think I even saw a tear in his eyes.
He apologized over and over again about not getting there sooner, but I told him I understood. Club stuff is important and I get that. And it’s not like I was going anywhere anytime soon. He scolded me, told me to do what the doctors said, and not be difficult. I looked him right in the eye and told him being difficult was in my nature. Redhead, remember.
It was after dinner time when everyone left. Bear somehow talked the nurses into letting me eat pizza with them, for which I was truly grateful. Especially when I found out meatloaf was on the menu at the hospital. Yuck.
Now, I’m lying in bed, thinking about the day, and I keep coming back to Ice Man. The things he said about wanting to be with me make my heart skip a beat, but also scare the shit out of me. When I told him I was falling for him, I wasn’t lying, though I came to realize I had already fallen. But it was so sudden and I didn’t even take the time to think about it. Now, I have that time and I wonder if it was the right thing to do. Tell him I wanted to be with him, or try to see where whatever was going on with us led. I had been single all this time for a reason. Were the feelings I thought I had for him even real? Or is it all a fluke?
I thought about it all night as I quietly waited to see if he’d come back. The way the nurses made it sound, he had been staying past visiting hours, never leaving my side while I was in the coma. Would he be back tonight or would he listen to me when I told him to leave me alone? I fell asleep kind of hoping he didn’t listen.
***
Two days have gone by and I finally get to go home. Dr. Montgomery said that he’d like to keep me just one more day, but he knows how badly I want to go. And since everything still looks good on the scan they did yesterday, and all my blood work and vitals are good, I’m good to go. I just need to take it easy. He went over all the side effects a traumatic brain injury can cause; blurry vision, some memory loss, migraines, light sensitivity, and a whole lot more that I don’t remember right now. But he put it all down on paper so we all know what to look for. He said he’s not sure how long these sid
e effects could last because it’s different for everyone, but it could last a week or it could last years. I guess this will just have to be something I get used to. It’ll take some adjustment. But I’m scheduled to come back to see him in a week for a checkup, so maybe we’ll know more then.
Angel was here this morning helping me get everything she brought over for me packed up and ready to go: my bathroom stuff, a few books, my tablet, and some clothes. She said she’d be back with Torq and Bear to pick me up. She said she was going to run over to my house and make sure everything was in order, do some shopping, things like that.
Before she left though, I finally asked her about Ice Man. He hasn’t been back since the morning I woke up.
“Have you seen him?” I had asked.
“He’s been staying at my apartment. Since the clubhouse is so loud and busy all the time, and he hasn’t really been in a sociable mood lately, I didn’t think he’d want to stay there.”
She didn’t let on about anything else, so I had to finally ask, “Has he said anything about me?” I hated the way I sounded, but it couldn’t be helped. I was so confused where he was concerned. One second I wanted him to go back to Texas and forget about me and what could have been between us. The next, I was staring at the door, waiting for him to walk in and tell me again that he was sorry and that he wanted us to be together. And then he’d take me in his arms and kiss me. But it never happened.
“He calls or texts every hour, asking how you are and if you need anything. He wanted to come see you, but he didn’t want to upset you while you were trying to recover. He said it didn’t go over well when he was here when you woke up, that you didn’t want him here. And he was trying to stay away so you could have some time to think over what he said and so you could get better,” she told me, not really looking at me.
“What?” I had asked, knowing there was more.
It took her a little while, but finally she stopped putting stuff in my bag, sat on the chair, and looked at me with a serious expression. “I only know what little you’ve told me and what he’s said happened. And then Torq told me a little about what happened when he was here the other day.”
I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t right away. It’s like she’s waiting to see if I’ll add anything to that, but I don’t. She pretty much knows everything, either from me or the guys. And I trust that they wouldn’t say anything that isn’t true.
“I just don’t understand what the problem is, Amy. I mean, I know you care about him. Like, a lot. You have since before you went to Texas with him. And he’s crazy about you. I know what he did was wrong and hurtful, and I’m not standing up for him, but he knows he messed up and he’s sorry. He wants to make it better. He wants to make it up to you and be with you. And I remember when it was me in your shoes, well more or less. I had you telling me how much of a brat I was being not giving Torq a chance. And I’m so glad you did, because we wouldn’t be where we are right now without you pushing me.”
This time, when she doesn’t go on, I ask, “What exactly are you trying to ask me, because I know there is a question somewhere in there.”
“Are you going to forgive him and give him a chance? Because I honestly think he deserves it. He’s here because he cares about you and wanted to win you back, doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“I’ve already forgiven him, I told him that. But I’m just not sure it’s enough, ya know? I mean, I wanted to give this a try with him, but instead of talking it out, discussing what we were both comfortable with or what our concerns were, he just lashed out and pushed me away. Did he not think I was scared of the unknown too? Because I was. I’ve never been in a relationship before, let alone wanted one. And no, I’ve never had my heart broken, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have scars or walls put up. And it was like he didn’t care. No discussion, no thought, it was just a flat out no. I put everything on the line for him, and I got nothing in return but pain.” It hurts thinking about it all again.
I just don’t think she can understand where I’m coming from. Sure, Torq hurt her, but this is different.
“What happened with you and Torq wasn’t the same. Plus, there’s a part of me that doesn’t believe he’s here because he wants to fix things,” I add, not really thinking about what I’m saying, it’s all just coming out without thought. Kind of like word vomit.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean, is he here because of the accident and I was in a coma and there was a real possibility I wouldn’t have woken up? And now that I have, he has to follow through with what he was saying he’d do?”
Suddenly she stands up and seems really upset with me. “You have got to be joking, right? If that’s what you think, then you don’t know him at all. I don’t know him half as well as you do, and even I know that’s shit, even if I didn’t know for a fact that isn’t the case here. He came because he needed you back. He needed your forgiveness. He didn’t even know you were in an accident when he showed up until I told him.”
After that, I was so shocked by what she said, I couldn’t speak. And she didn’t add anything else. Was she telling the truth about Ice Man coming before he even knew about the accident? Did I have this all wrong? I guess I’ll just have to think about what he said and what Angel said more when I get home. Then I can decide what I should do.
And that brings me to now. I’m sitting in the chair, the one that Ice Man sat in when he was here, waiting for the doctor to come in and sign my release papers. The nurse has already been in to go over everything with me, and I told Angel that I’m close to being released. She just texted me about five minutes ago and said that she was on her way to my apartment to drop off the groceries she picked up. She had to put them away, and then she’d be on her way once the guys got there to pick her up. I guess they didn’t want her to come alone, though I know Bear really wants to be here when I get released.
My accident really hit him hard. He doesn’t say so, but I can see it in his eyes. He’s aged at least ten years since I saw him before what happened. He’s worried about me, and I’m sure he’ll have a hard time letting me be alone after this. It was the same with Angel, except he wasn’t as bad since Torq was there with her.
Finally, the doctor walks in with paperwork in his hands. “Now I know the nurse has already been through all of this with you, so I won’t keep you. But promise me you’ll take it easy until the next time I see you, okay? And if you get a headache that won’t go away with rest and sleep or the medicine we are giving you for pain, you need to come into the emergency room. That is very important, Ms. Worthington, because if you don’t, it could cost you more than you’d be willing to pay. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Dr. Montgomery. I promise, I’ll take it easy. I’ll even make someone do the housework for me and give me sponge baths. You best believe I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth,” I tell him, smiling. I get serious. “But if my head starts hurting, I will be sure to call you right away and have you tell me what you think I should do.”
He smiles and pats me on the hand as he sets the paperwork down. “Good. That’s a good girl. Now, just sign this paper right here and I’ll have one of the aides wheel you downstairs for your ride.”
I want to argue, tell him I don’t need a wheelchair, but I know it will be useless. It’s hospital protocol, and I don’t want to do anything that would delay me leaving here. I can’t wait to get home and take a nice hot bath, curl up on my couch, watch TV, and eat real food. So I just nod and sign the paper on the line.
“You’re good to go, Amy. But I’ll see you in two weeks,” he says, then leaves the room, whistling as he goes.
Soon after, a man walks in with a wheelchair in tow. “I hear someone is ready to fly the coop,” he says, stopping in front of where I’m sitting.
“Yes, I am,” I say, standing up without waiting for his help, but he lets me. Good. It’s bad enough that I have to leave here in that damn chair.
Onc
e I’m situated, he places my bag on my lap. “All right, miss. What do ya say we get you the heck outta here, huh?”
“Yes, please.”
He wheels me into the elevator and down to the first floor. He says hi to a few people we pass, but he continues going without stopping. For that, I’m grateful because I can see through the glass doors that it’s sunny outside. And I can see the trees swaying in the wind. I can’t wait to get out there and feel them both on my skin. It feels like it’s been forever since I was outside. And I guess, in a way, it has been.
Once outside, he stops by the entrance. “You do have someone to pick you up, right?” he asks.
“Yes. They might be a few minutes though. I thought it might take longer than it did to get signed out of here,” I tell him, looking down the street.
A moment later, I see an SUV pulling in. I can’t see in the window, but I’m sure it’s Angel and the others here to pick me up. Maybe this is the new car she told me she got, though I don’t remember her saying it was this big.
The SUV stops right in front of us. The driver’s side door opens and out steps a man I’ve never seen before. I guess it’s not Angel after all.
I turn to look back down the road, but out of the corner of my eye, I see the man pull a gun out of his shirt and aim above me. Before I can say anything or move, the gun goes off. It’s so loud, it hurts my ears and head. I feel something warm drip on my shoulder before I hear a loud thump behind me, and I know that the man who brought me out here has been shot. I don’t know for sure, but I’m pretty sure he’s now dead.
I scream, but stop when the man puts the gun to my head. He doesn’t say anything. He just forces me out of the wheelchair and pushes me toward the car. And that’s when my fight or flight must kick in, because I try to whip around out of his hold, but he grabs a huge chunk of my hair, pulling me back into him.
The Biker's Religion (Rough Riders MC Book 2) Page 22
