by Maggie Cox
‘I’m not upset. The tensions of any journey can make a person snappy and on edge. But I’d like to be frank too, Ludo. I’m a firm believer that a worry shared is a worry halved. I know that you’re still grieving for your brother, and you’re worried about facing your parents after not seeing them for so long, but might it help you to talk about your concerns with me? Whatever you say, I promise I would never betray a confidence. I’d just listen and hopefully give you some support.’
‘Of course you would.’ His expression was sombre. ‘It’s probably what you do for all the waifs and strays and wounded hearts that come your way, isn’t it? The bed and breakfast that you run with your mother is probably like a local, more comfortable branch of the Samaritans.’ His lips twisted for a moment. ‘And who wouldn’t welcome a vision like you to talk to?’
He didn’t mean to be cruel, but he couldn’t quell the bitterness that suddenly surfaced in him. Why couldn’t there have been someone like Natalie around when he’d heard the news that Theo had died? Someone he would have felt safe breaking his heart in front of? Someone who wouldn’t judge him or see a chance to advance themselves in some way by their association with him?
He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, Natalie. But now is not the time for me to bare my soul. I am not saying I’ve completely closed the door on the possibility, but just not right now.’
She treated him to another understanding smile, and for a few captivating moments Ludo allowed himself simply to bask in it, as though it were warm rain after a cold, dry spell.
‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘Christos was telling me about your garden—that it’s full of orange and lemon trees. Can I see it?’
‘It will be my pleasure to show you the garden, glykia mou.’
Cupping her elbow, Ludo couldn’t help the glow of pride that swept through him that Natalie should be interested in the garden. The beauty and bounty of nature had always been one of his passions, right from when he was a boy, but apart from his mother, who had often talked about the healing power of it, he had rarely encountered women who felt the same way as he did.
Outside, Christos touched the tip of his straw hat in acknowledgement as Ludo and Natalie appeared. Speaking in Greek, he commented, ‘You came at the right time to enjoy the oranges and lemons, Mr Petrakis. If you had left it much later the fruit would not have been at its best.’
‘I know. And, by the way, thank you for all your hard work tending the gardens, Christos. I am convinced it is your magic touch that makes everything grow so abundantly.’
‘It is my pleasure to be of service.’
Ludo was gratified to know that his devoted and respected employee was still happy to be working for him. When Christos and his wife retired he would make sure to provide them with a lovely home and garden so that he could continue enjoying his craft. Moving on, still cupping Natalie’s elbow, Ludo guided her onto the meandering red stone path that led to the verdant green where the trees and fruit flourished so abundantly. Even before the trees came into view the air was drenched with the intoxicating scent of ripened fruit.
Breaking away from him, the woman by his side enthusiastically clapped her hands. ‘This scent is incredible!’ Her bright shining eyes and joyful enthusiasm were so engaging that for a moment Ludo was struck dumb.
‘Walk on,’ he invited smilingly, ‘and you will see the fruit that is responsible.’
It was like walking into the Garden of Eden. Both the perfume and the sight of lush oranges and lemons hanging heavily from slim branches amid a bejewelled floral carpet of emerald-green was nothing less than wondrous. What added to her wonderment and pleasure was that her handsome companion seemed so much more relaxed than he had been earlier. It had given her heart when he’d told her he hadn’t completely closed the door on baring his soul to her. A passing warm breeze lifted the gold lock of hair that glanced against his forehead, and in that instant he suddenly looked so carefree and young that she could imagine him in a gentler time, long before the unbearable tragedy of losing his beloved brother and separation from his homeland had etched indelible scars on his heart that likely would never be erased.
‘It takes my breath away.’ Shaking her head, she spontaneously held the palm of her hand over her heart. ‘It makes me wonder what on earth I could have done to deserve being treated to such a sight.’
Without comment, Ludo walked over and took her by the hand. Unsure of what he was going to do, Natalie felt her heart drum hard as he led her across the grass to a fulsome lemon tree, plucked a plump yellow fruit from one of the branches, then tugged her hand towards him.
‘Open your palm,’ he instructed.
She obeyed, and he gave the lemon a hard squeeze so that the skin split and ripe juice spilled out into her hand like sparkling nectar, filling her nostrils with the sharp fresh scent of the sun-kissed fruit. As Ludo took his hand away Natalie moved her hand back and forth beneath her nose. ‘It’s glorious!’ She smiled. ‘It must be the freshest scent in the world.’
‘If you add a teaspoon of sugar to the juice and rub your hands together I’m assured you’ll have the best method of softening your skin that you could find.’
‘How do you know that?’
With his sky-blue eyes squinting against the sunlight, Ludo grinned with pleasure.
‘I heard about it from my mother. I used to watch her apply lemon juice and sugar to her hands after she’d washed the dishes. All I can tell you is that her hands were always soft as a child’s. Don’t take my word for it. When you get the chance give it a try.’
‘I will.’
‘Now, let’s go over to the fountain and you can rinse your hands.’
At a magnificent solid-stone fountain, with its crystal-clear waters gushing from the upturned sculpted jug of a young shepherdess, Natalie rinsed her hands, bringing them up to her face to cool her sun-kissed cheeks. She knew it wasn’t just the sun that had warmed them. Ludo Petrakis had cast the most mesmerising spell over her. A spell that right then she had no desire to ever be free of … ‘That’s better.’ She smiled.
‘Then I think we should go in to eat. Allena has prepared us something special, and if my guess is right it will probably be my favourite moussaka, followed by some baklava. I hope you have a sweet tooth, Natalie?’
‘I do have a sweet tooth, and baklava happens to be a favourite of mine.’
Ludo’s glance was slow and assessing, and in the ensuing momentary silence Natalie almost held her breath, wondering what he was thinking. She soon found out.
‘It is very gratifying to know that you can yield to temptation, glykia mou,’ he drawled. ‘Because right now the temptation of you is sorely testing me.’
When he reached for her hand once again she let him clasp it without hesitation, loving the reassuring warmth of his touch and realising she could very easily become addicted to it.
Turning, Ludo led her back down the stone path and into the house …
After enjoying the superb moussaka and fresh three-bean salad that Allena had served them, also the delicious syrup-drenched baklava, they took their coffee out onto the terrace, where Ludo had first taken Natalie on their arrival. It was now almost full dusk, and the glasslike surface of the Mediterranean gleamed not with sunlight but with the bewitching, serene light of the moon.
Natalie leaned back in her rattan chair and sighed contentedly. About to share her thoughts on the beautiful scene with her companion, she saw that his eyelids were closed, and didn’t know if he’d fallen into a light doze or was simply lost in thought. The journey on the plane had certainly been fraught with tension for him, knowing he was going back home for the first time since his brother’s funeral. For now, she decided to keep her thoughts to herself so as not to disturb him.
It was certainly no hardship to relax with all the breathtaking beauty on display, and Natalie couldn’t help but include Ludo in that description. More and more she was starting to believe that he was right. It would break her heart to leave this pl
ace … to leave him. The thought made her sit up with a jolt. The impulse she’d followed in accepting his deal to come with him was dangerously beginning to backfire on her. And tomorrow he was going to introduce her to his parents as his fiancée. As much as she was enamoured of this wonderful country, and longed to have the time to explore some of it, Natalie wondered if she really could go through with the pretence Ludo had suggested after all.
The sudden unexpected movement of his hand over a hard-muscled thigh in his cream-coloured chinos alerted her to the fact that he wasn’t dozing at all, but just sitting quietly.
Reaching forward to collect her cup of coffee from the table, she ventured, ‘Ludo? Are you all right?’
‘Of course I’m all right. Why do you ask?’
‘I was just concerned about how you were feeling. Ever since I told you that my mum had heard about what happened to your brother I’ve had the sense you’ve been retreating little by little. You hardly talked at all on the journey here. I didn’t mean to upset you by telling you what she said.’
Lifting his hand to his forehead, Ludo rubbed a little, his blue eyes glinting warily as a cat’s when confronted by some potential sudden danger.
‘I sometimes think that Greek people round the world have an uncanny sense of knowing what’s going on with each other even if they’ve never met. I shouldn’t have been surprised that your mother had heard of the tragedy, but I was. If I seem to have shut down a little it’s because any reference to my brother inevitably brings back great sadness and regret for me. I am also going to have to face my parents tomorrow and explain to them why I ran away after the funeral.’
Natalie swallowed hard. ‘Ran away?’
‘Yes. I packed my bags and left straight after the funeral without giving them any real explanation. I couldn’t deal with their grief. It cut me like a knife to see them so heartbroken … not knowing what to do anymore. They had always been just like my brother Theo—steady and dependable. As if nothing, not even an earthquake, could shake their unified solidity.’ He shook his head, agitatedly combing his fingers through his golden sun-streaked hair. ‘And instead of supporting them through that terrible time and providing solace I chose to escape. I wanted to try and blot out the past and all that had happened by losing myself in my work and trying my damndest not to think about it.’
‘And did that help?’
‘Of course it didn’t help!’ Furious with himself, with Natalie, and perhaps with the whole world too, Ludo shot up from his chair, breathing hard. ‘I discovered you can run away as far as you like—even to the remotest place on the planet—but you can’t leave your sorrow and grief behind. Wherever you go, the pain travels with you. All running away did for me was add to my already unbearable sense of guilt and inadequacy. The realisation that as a son I had totally failed my parents—the people I love the most. They devoted their lives to raising me and Theo and look how I repaid them. It’s unforgivable.’
The anguish in his voice immediately made Natalie get to her feet. ‘You didn’t do it deliberately, Ludo. It wasn’t planned. You were hurting too, remember? It was a totally understandable reaction.’
Dropping his hands to his lean straight hips, he trapped her gaze with the sheer desolation in his eyes. ‘The only way I can make it up to them is by introducing you as my fiancée, Natalie. That’s why you have to do this for me. It is not enough that I return home by myself.’
‘Why?’ She stepped round the table to face him. ‘Why isn’t it enough? You’re their beloved son, Ludo. A son any parents would be proud of. And people forgive those they love. Even when they’ve done the so-called “unforgivable”.’
‘Do they indeed?’ His burning blue eyes gleamed cynically. ‘I wonder how you have become such an optimist. It is my experience that forgiving someone who has hurt you, and hurt you badly, is the hardest thing of all.’
‘But if you see that you only hurt yourself more by not forgiving them, then maybe it’s not so hard. For instance, when my dad walked out on my mum and me, I felt so heartbroken and betrayed that I thought I’d never trust him again. How could he do such a thing to us? I thought he was a liar and a cheat and deserved never to be happy again! For a long time I didn’t even want to see him. But through it all my mum wouldn’t hear one bad word said about him and she urged me to forgive him. Trust me, it wasn’t easy … But it had to be done if I was ever to have any peace, because it was killing me holding all that blame and hurt in my heart. Then, when he had his heart attack, the decision to forgive him for everything was easy. I’m so glad I realised it, because now our relationship is closer than ever.’
Her heart was galloping as she came to the end of her impassioned speech—a speech that had asserted feelings she hadn’t expressed to anyone before. Not even her mum.
Combing her fingers shakily through her hair, Natalie was appalled at herself. ‘I’m sorry’ she murmured, ‘We were talking about your parents. I only wanted to illustrate that I believe if you really love someone that love never dies. I don’t doubt for one second that your parents have already forgiven you, Ludo. My mother once told me that the love for your child surpasses any other and lives on even when a parent dies.’
Now her face was burning. The man in front of her had neither moved nor tried to interrupt her. Instead, the long, considered glance he was giving her suggested he was thinking hard, hopefully finding some solace in her assertion that a parent’s love never died, no matter what their offspring had done. Natalie could only pray that it was true.
Beneath the white linen shirt he was wearing Ludo’s broad athletic shoulders lifted in an enigmatic shrug that revealed very little about what he felt, and her anxiety skyrocketed—she had blundered in where maybe she shouldn’t have.
‘Whether my parents forgive me or not, we will find out tomorrow. But right now I intend to go for a very long walk so I can reflect on our reunion.’
‘Would you like me to go with you?’
One corner of his mouth lifted slightly towards a high bronzed cheekbone. ‘No. This is one walk that I must take on my own. If you want some entertainment ask Allena to show you what we have available. And if you think of anything else you need, just ask her. If you feel that you want an early night, go ahead. Don’t trouble to wait up for me. We can talk again in the morning over breakfast. Kalinihta, Natalie. Sleep well.’
Stepping closer, Ludo almost absentmindedly brushed her cheek with his warm lips, and as he turned and walked away the warmth from his body stirred the air, mingling with the scent of bougainvillaea draped heavily over the terrace walls, as if the flowers too registered his leaving and couldn’t help but be saddened by it.
CHAPTER EIGHT
HE LIKED THE night. Even more, he liked the night air of his country. No matter where a person went on the island, they breathed in air that was drenched with an eclectic variety of sensual aromas. Some of the most pervading scents were of olives and pine, bougainvillaea and jasmine, crusty bread baked in traditional fire ovens. And wherever people ate the delicious aroma of roasted meats and the freshest fish imaginable would tempt even the most jaded of appetites. But more than the tempting food and scents that lured tourists to the country time and time again Ludo loved the sight and sound of the Mediterranean and the Aegean best of all. It had always calmed and centred him, no matter what worry might be plaguing him at the time.
But the day he’d heard that Theo had drowned in the waters off Margaritari was the day that Ludo had come to despise the sea. How could he ever take pleasure in it again after it had so cruelly taken his brother from him?
Walking along the near deserted beach, he stopped to gaze up at the bewitching crescent moon that hung in the inky dome above him.
‘Make a wish on the crescent moon,’ his mother had often told him and his brother when they were boys. ‘If you do, it is bound to come true, my children.’
Well, Ludo had wished to be as rich as Croesus. No doubt Theo had made a much more humanitarian plea to be
of service to those less fortunate than himself. Even as a young boy he had exhibited uncommon kindness and patience. But, no matter how wealthy or powerful he became, Ludo knew he would instantly give up every single euro he had if he could have his brother back.
Once again, a familiar arrow of grief pierced him as though he were on fire and, rubbing his chest in a bid to try and ease the pain, he made himself walk farther on down the beach. One or two tourists greeted him, and after reluctantly acknowledging them he quickly moved on. He wasn’t in the mood to be sociable tonight.
Having removed his canvas shoes as soon as he’d stepped onto the sand, and despite the sorrow and regret that weighed him down, he briefly luxuriated in the sensation of sun-baked golden grains on the soles of his feet. The thought came to him that he should have brought Natalie. Why had he turned down her offer to accompany him? He should know by now that her presence soothed him. Soothed him and aroused him.
He suddenly felt a strong urge to hear her voice, to listen to the encouraging advice that seemed to come to her so naturally. What if he let down his guard and admitted he no longer wanted to endure the fears and concerns that plagued him on his own? What if he asked Natalie to share them? Would she be willing to do that for him?
But even as he mulled the idea over in his head Ludo remembered how she had urged him to believe that his parents had already forgiven him for his negligence. It had dangerously raised hopes that would be cruelly dashed if they had not. Then where would he be? His so-called success meant nothing if he didn’t have their unconditional love and respect.
His thoughts returned to Natalie. Would she have taken up his suggestion and had an early night? During their meal that evening she’d shielded a yawn from him more than once. She was probably looking forward to a good night’s sleep—while he undoubtedly faced another torturous night wrestling with his fears about how tomorrow would go.
