“When?” her brother pressed.
“Soon.”
“Whatever that means,” he said. “In the meantime, what about tonight? Come with us. You have to start getting out sometime.”
She frowned at him. Either he was being deliberately insensitive or he was an awfully lousy psychologist who couldn’t even read his own sister.
“Are you crazy?” she asked sourly. “The pub is the very last place I’d ever show my face.”
It was his turn to sigh. “I thought so,” he said, sinking down in a chair across from her. “Your crummy mood obviously has something to do with Michael. You might as well tell me, Kelly. What did he do to you? I’ll kill him.”
“Stay out of it,” she ordered. “I don’t need my big brother fighting my battles for me.”
“Then fight them for yourself,” he said mildly. “Come with us tonight. Show him that you’re not about to let him ruin your life.”
“My life is not ruined just because Michael Devaney broke up with me,” she said fiercely.
“Then prove it.”
“I don’t have to prove anything to anybody. I don’t want to come to the pub. That’s a little too in-your-face for my peace of mind.”
“You like it there.”
“I liked it there when I was with Michael,” she corrected. “If you’d been paying the slightest bit of attention, you’d know that I opted out of spending time there a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t want to have to answer a lot of questions when I eventually wound up in exactly the position I’m in now, cast aside by a man who’s too self-absorbed or too scared to make a commitment to another living soul. Who needs it?”
“You apparently,” Bryan said wryly.
“I don’t need Michael,” she said emphatically.
“Okay, then, you could meet someone else. There’s a guy who’s been coming in lately with Maggie’s folks. Seems like a good guy.” He grinned. “He’s almost as handsome as I am.”
She frowned at her brother. “That’s not saying much.”
“Kelly, don’t shut yourself away. Michael’s my best friend and I love him like a brother, but he’s not worth a broken heart.”
“Who said anything about my heart being broken?”
He regarded her evenly. “Am I wrong? Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll back off. Tell me you have another date tonight, maybe with that doctor you went out with awhile back.”
There was no date and she wouldn’t lie to him. “Can’t you just let me be miserable in peace?”
“Sorry, kid. No can do. Moira and I will pick you up. Be ready at six o’clock.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Why so early?”
“It’ll be easier if you get there first and stake out your turf. Let Michael be the one who’s on the defensive when he finds you there.”
What her brother said made a lot of sense, but Kelly wasn’t sure she was masochistic enough to take his advice. She’d spend the entire evening being miserable. Why go under those conditions? Why risk having her already aching heart suffer another blow if Michael flat-out ignored her? Staying away would be the smart—safe—thing to do. But she’d never played it safe in her life.
And the pitiful truth was that she desperately wanted to catch a glimpse of Michael, to see if maybe, just maybe, he was as miserable as she was. Maybe by now he’d come to his senses, she thought hopefully, then chastised herself for being an idiot. If Michael had had second thoughts, he knew her phone number and he certainly knew where she lived. He’d started coming there as a teenager.
“I’ll go,” she told her brother finally, because she found it all but impossible to resist. “But you bring me home the second I ask you to, okay? No questions and no arguments.”
“Deal,” he said at once. “And if you change your mind and want me to punch him out, just say the word.”
Kelly sighed. “Don’t even tempt me.”
Michael fully expected a visit from Bryan. In fact, he was looking forward to it. He figured a good thrashing was the least he deserved for hurting Kelly, even if he hadn’t meant to, even if he’d thought with some misguided sense of honor that he was protecting her. Instead, though, he heard nothing from his best friend. That left him to sit and stew with his own regrets.
When he finally tired of that, he called his brother. It was time—past time—to act. For a man who’d thrived on action, he’d been way too passive for months now.
“Hey, Ryan, you remember that guy you were telling me about, the one with the charter boats?”
“Sure. You interested after all?” Ryan asked cautiously.
“Maybe.”
“Want me to set up a meeting?”
Michael drew in a deep breath. It was now or never. Maybe this prospect would turn out to be nothing, but he had to start someplace.
“No,” he said eventually. “Is he there tonight?”
“Sure is. You coming by? Everyone’s here. We’ve been missing you. Caitlyn’s been asking for you every day.”
Michael felt his mouth curve into the first genuine smile since he’d broken things off with Kelly. “I can’t disappoint my niece, can I? I’ll be there in an hour. Have your friend stick around if he can.”
“Will do. See you soon.”
Now that he was committed, he managed to shower and dress in record time. For some reason, his heart felt lighter than it had in months. He should have done something like this long ago, instead of wallowing in self-pity and fear. He was feeling almost upbeat by the time he reached Ryan’s Place.
Then he spotted Kelly, sitting at a table separate from the Devaneys and the Havilceks. Bryan and Moira were with her, one on each side as if they felt the need to protect her.
Michael’s heart climbed into his throat. She looked fabulous, and sad. Knowing that he was responsible for her sorrow cut right through him. The guilt was almost enough to make him turn tail and run, but he didn’t. Tonight was all about getting his act together at long last and Kelly was the reason he couldn’t put it off a moment longer.
He forced himself to go right past her table, to stop and utter an impersonal greeting to all three of them, though his gaze never left Kelly’s face. Her chin jutted up and she met his gaze without flinching.
“Everything going okay?” he asked her.
“Fine,” she said in a terse tone that said everything was far from fine. “I see you’re walking with a cane now. That’s great progress.”
Michael nodded, not sure what to say to that. “I’m here to talk to that friend of Ryan’s about a job.”
For an instant there was a spark of genuine excitement in her eyes. “The charter boats?”
He nodded.
“I thought you weren’t interested in that.”
“I’ve had second thoughts,” he told her, his gaze unwavering. “About a lot of things.”
“I see,” she said, returning to her mask of cool indifference. “Well, good luck, then.” She glanced at Bryan. “I’d like to leave now, if you don’t mind.”
Bryan cast a hard look at Michael, then stood up. “Sure thing, Kelly. Moira, you want to wait here? I’ll be back in ten or fifteen minutes.”
Moira nodded. “I’ll wait.” She gave Michael a pointed look. “Why don’t you have a seat?”
“Moira!” Kelly protested sharply, hesitating with her coat halfway on.
“I’m not going to kill him,” Moira said. “I can be as civilized as the next person.”
Michael grinned at that. “I don’t doubt it, but I have a couple of prior engagements, first with my niece and then about a job. You’ll have to give me a rain check on the inquisition.”
Moira sighed. “Too bad.” She stood up and grabbed her coat. “I guess I’ll go along with you guys, then.”
Michael stood where he was and watched them leave. Kelly never once looked back.
“Woman problems?” Ryan asked sympathetically, coming up beside him.
Michael nodded. “I’m still not sure how I let things get so out of
hand. I never meant to hurt her.”
“Then fix it,” Ryan said simply.
“I’m not sure I know how. I do know that finding a job is the first step, one I have to take for me before I can give any thought at all to the future.”
“Does Kelly agree that work should come before her?”
“Probably not,” Michael admitted. “But that’s the one thing I am sure of.”
“Okay, then, let me introduce you to Greg Keith.” Ryan led the way across the restaurant to a man seated at a table in the corner. Not until Michael was next to the table did he realize that Greg Keith was in a wheelchair. He had to fight not to show any visible sign of his shock.
Greg grinned at him. “You can ask,” he said, when Ryan was gone and Michael had taken a seat opposite him.
“Ask what?”
“About old ironsides here. We’ve been together a long time now.”
“It’s none of my business,” Michael said.
“It is if you’re going to come to work for me. I don’t see much point in ignoring my limitations. If I do, then they’re controlling me, and believe me, that’s not a situation I can tolerate.”
Michael nodded. He was just beginning to relate to the sentiment. “What happened?”
“A bullet in the spine during an operation in the Persian Gulf War. I came out of the SEALs with a nice pension and some money in the bank. As soon as I got out of the hospital, I started looking around for a boat to buy. I couldn’t imagine my life anywhere except around water. I have a fleet of ten charter boats now, everything from a tall ship to a couple of fishing trawlers.” He regarded Michael with a penetrating look. “I assume you’re here because Ryan told you I’m always looking for good captains.”
Michael nodded slowly, trying to digest what Greg Keith had done with his life once he’d been dealt a devastating blow. It was one more reminder that he had nothing to complain about.
“I’ll be honest,” he told Greg. “I’m not sure if this is for me, but I’d like to take a look around, see if it feels right.”
“Fair enough. Does tomorrow morning suit you?” Greg grinned at Michael. “I guarantee you that once you set foot on deck and get back out to sea, it’ll give you a whole new lease on life.”
Michael thought of the woman who’d just left the pub and the future that could await them, if he ever found the courage to try. “I truly hope so.”
To his shock and ultimately to his relief, Michael discovered that he liked being back on the water, even if he couldn’t be heading out to face some sort of incredible danger. The serenity he’d always found at sea hadn’t changed just because the type of vessel had.
He also discovered that Greg was a remarkable man, whose accomplishments and whose positive outlook on the hand he’d been dealt quickly became an inspiration to Michael. In no time at all, he felt as if he’d found a new life that was worth living. There was just one thing missing—Kelly.
He finally worked up the nerve to call her, only to be told that she was away on an extended vacation. An hour later, Bryan called him back.
“What the hell were you thinking calling here?” he demanded. “You’re the one who made the decision to end things with my sister. Leave her in peace.”
“Is she at peace?” Michael dared to ask. If she was, maybe he didn’t have any right to try to stir things up again. Maybe the love he felt for her, but hadn’t acknowledged in time would never be enough to make things right.
“She’s getting there,” Bryan said.
“Look, I know I made a lot of mistakes,” Michael told him. “I just want a chance to fix things.”
“Fix them how?” Bryan asked skeptically.
The truth was that Michael wanted what they’d once had back. He wanted to marry her, but he was not saying that to Bryan before he had a chance to say it to Kelly. Her reaction was the only one that mattered.
“That’s between Kelly and me.”
“No,” Bryan said flatly. “You’ve done enough to mess up her life. I’m telling you to stay away from her. If our friendship ever meant anything to you, you’ll listen to me and do as I ask.”
“Sorry, man. You know I respect you, but I don’t think I can do that.”
“Dammit, Michael, having you walk out on her devastated her. Isn’t that enough?”
“I want to make it right,” he said again.
“I don’t think that’s possible,” his friend said bluntly. “This vacation she’s on, she went with someone.”
Michael’s heart began to thud dully. “The preppy doctor?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business. Just stay away from Kelly, or I’ll make you regret it.”
Michael might have laughed, if Bryan hadn’t sounded so deadly serious. The fact that he was willing to resort to violence to protect his sister told Michael volumes about how badly Kelly had been hurt. Heartsick, he sighed heavily.
“I’ll stay away,” he promised at last.
Michael kept his promise to Bryan for weeks, going to work seven days a week, hiding out in his apartment during his little bit of free time. He was getting exactly what he deserved for being such a first-class jerk. Kelly had offered him the sun and the moon, to say nothing of her heart, and he’d thrown it all back in her face.
It was a visit from Ryan and Sean that finally pulled him out of his latest bout with self-pity.
“Okay, bro, we’ve had it,” Sean said. “We’re tired of waiting for you to come to us, so here we are.”
To forestall the pep talk they so clearly intended, Michael offered them beers and some of the large pepperoni pizza that had arrived just ahead of them.
“You’re not getting off the hook that easily,” Ryan said, as he polished off the last piece of pizza. “We came here, in part at least, because we think it’s time to go to Maine and meet Patrick.”
The announcement took him by surprise. “Why now?”
“Because of you,” Sean said.
“Me? What the hell do I have to do with it?” He looked at Sean. “I thought you wanted to put this meeting off till doomsday, if at all possible.”
Sean nodded. “I did till I started seeing how the past is affecting you.”
“Nothing in my life has anything whatsoever to do with the past,” Michael said emphatically.
“I think you’re wrong about that,” Ryan said, just as fiercely. “Unless I’m very much mistaken, you’ve just abandoned a woman you love the same way our parents left us. Maybe it’s not even the first time. Don’t you think, for your own sake, you need answers so you can break the pattern before you spend the rest of your life alone? I certainly needed a wake-up call to get my life on track. So did Sean. Otherwise, we both might have turned our backs on Maggie and Deanna.”
Michael wasn’t interested in their version of pop psychology. “Are you crazy?” he demanded. “Breaking up with Kelly had absolutely nothing to do with the past. If anything, it had to do with the future. It took me a while but I finally got over that. Unfortunately, it was too late.”
“Says who?”
“Her brother.”
Ryan stared at him. “You took Bryan’s word on something that important? What the hell were you thinking?”
“Why would he lie to me?” Michael asked defensively.
“To protect his sister,” Sean suggested. “Geez, bro, that one’s so obvious, even I could see it. For an ex-SEAL, you’re awfully gullible.”
“He said she went away with someone,” Michael retorted. “That sounds as if it’s too late to me.”
Sean groaned. “She did. She and Moira went to Ireland for a week.”
Michael stared. “Ireland? With Moira?” He’d given up on her because she’d gone away for a few days with her best friend? Maybe he had been a little too quick to accept the possibility that she didn’t care about him because of his past. Maybe he’d bought into the idea that he wasn’t worth loving. He could see it so clearly now, how he’d been influenced by his parents’ ab
andonment. After all, if they had found him so unlovable, then sooner or later wouldn’t Kelly likely reach the same conclusion? Why fight for someone he was destined to lose anyway? If that had been his thinking when he took Bryan’s words at face value, then he really was pitiful.
As for Bryan’s role in all this by deliberately misleading him, Michael resolved to deal with that later.
He stood up suddenly and headed for the door. “You guys stick around and finish your beers,” he told his brothers. “I’ve got someplace I need to be.”
“Think he’s going out for more pizza?” Sean joked.
“Not if he’s half as smart as I think he is,” Ryan retorted.
Michael grinned at them. “I’m smart enough to go after the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Of course you are,” Ryan confirmed. “Whatever the past, at least the three of us have started a new Devaney family tradition.”
“What’s that?” Michael asked.
“We hang on to the people we love.”
Chapter Fifteen
The trip to Ireland had been everything Kelly had always imagined it would be, but she hadn’t enjoyed herself. An image of a dark-haired, moody Irishman back home kept intruding. If it hadn’t been for Moira, she would have cut the trip short and gone home early.
But to what? she wondered despondently. She had her work, of course, but there would be no social life, not as long as the memory of one man refused to let her alone. She’d never been the type who could counter a broken heart with a whirlwind of dating, especially when none of the men ever measured up. Maybe she needed to accept the fact that she was a one-man woman and always had been.
She looked across the table in the pub where she and Moira were having dinner and saw that her best friend was regarding her with a worried frown, the same frown she’d been wearing for most of the trip.
“We might as well go home,” Moira said with resignation. “You’re obviously having a terrible time.”
“Don’t be silly,” Kelly said, instantly consumed with guilt. “I’m not going to spoil your vacation by cutting it short.”
Michael's Discovery Page 18
