by Unknown
“I love her,” he told himself.
There. That was not so bad, was it? He even managed to smile at himself. But what was he to do with the knowledge? Anna had come to trust in him, and there was no denying she desired him as much as he did her, but anything more? He just did not know. Even with having broken down her barriers, he couldn’t tell if the feeling was mutual.
Perhaps he would get his answer when he visited her, but what would he do once he found it? He’d never wanted to take on a full-time mistress. Somehow, he could not see Anna deigning to be a mistress. It didn’t suit her. So the only other option was...marriage.
He waited for that inevitable ice to coat his heart, but it didn’t come.
“Marriage.”
No, nothing. He said it again before turning away from the window. “Marriage, marriage, marriage.”
The word didn’t even sound frightening anymore. Instead, it sounded appealing. Christ Almighty, what had that woman done to him?
He’d visit her. Then he’d make decisions. For once in his life, he would think this through carefully. There was too much at stake here.
“Sir?”
The ticket inspector had entered the compartment and was eying him like he was a madman. It wasn’t far from the truth actually. That woman had sent him mad the first moment he set eyes on her. Maybe he’d even fallen a little in love with her then. In lust, certainly, but love...? He smiled to himself. Maybe.
“Sir?”
“Yes, sorry.”
“There’s a fallen tree on the track. We’re not sure how long we will be delayed. It’s a big one.”
“I see.”
“We’re just letting passengers know that there will be trains from Woking Station. It is only a ten-minute walk down the line.”
“Right. Yes.” Harris stood. “I shall walk then.”
The conductor looked taken aback by his sudden movement. “Of course you can stay and wait if you’d prefer, sir.”
“No, no, I’ll walk. Thank you.”
Harris snatched up his travel bag from the storage above and made past the conductor. He pushed down the window and leaned out to open the door. Thankfully they weren’t on an embankment or half of the passengers would be rolling down the hill. He noted quite a few had also chosen to walk rather than wait. He was hardly on a deadline, but now he had come to certain conclusions, he had little desire to wait.
Pushing open the door, he held onto the side and swung himself down, landing on the soft ground. He could stroll ably along to Woking Station and find himself a carriage there. With any luck, he would be at Stourbridge within the hour.
And he’d tell her he loved her. And wanted to marry her.
Would he?
Would she panic? Would she retreat behind that cold wall of hers? He’d thought he’d successfully vanquished that between them, but she was a difficult woman to predict. He had to admit, he liked that a little. Life would never be dull with Anna.
The steady walk behind the passengers who chose to disembark soothed him a little. It solidified the knowledge that he would not be content keeping her as a mistress. She had been through so much in life; she deserved something good and proper. He almost regretted the way in which he pursued her.
Almost, but not quite. Had he not, he had no doubt he would never have managed to get close to her.
When he reached the platform, it was crowded with passengers awaiting the next train. He bypassed them but the people who had disembarked before him had taken up what few carriages were waiting. He peered up and down the road but there was no sign of any other hacks. Damnation.
Well, he would walk the rest of the way. The house was only a few miles from Woking Station. A little more walking would do him no harm and his leg seemed to be holding up well.
He set a quick pace, walking out of the town and along the country roads. No carriages passed him by so he had no chance of hitching a ride with someone. By the time he was well out into the country, with great oak trees and bramble bushes surrounding him, his leg had begun to ache. And still no sign of Stourbridge. How far away was the damned house?
Taking a moment to lean against a farmer’s gate and eye the surroundings, he thought he spotted the tall chimneys of the mansion jutting up from between the gentle rolling hills.
Still quite a way to walk then.
Blast him for being so impatient. He should have waited for the next train.
With a grimace, he walked on, and with each step, his leg grew more painful and more like it was on fire. There was a distinct difference between rowing and walking through London and lovemaking to a country hike. Clearly he was not as well-mended as he’d hoped.
The thought of seeing Anna pushed him on. He had to be a mere mile away when he paused to rest again. Sweat dripped from his brow, and it wasn’t even a hot day. He really was unfit. Terrible.
The rattle of wheels perked him up, and he waved to the driver of the cart.
“How can I help you, sir?” asked the scruffy old man.
“Could you take me to Stourbridge?”
The man gave him a look up and down, as if assessing what kind of devil he might be. Apparently he was not too offensive as the man nodded. “Hop on. Though I can’t take you past the gates. I’d likely be shot if I brought my battered old cart anywhere near the house.”
Harris didn’t argue. Anna fiercely protected her business, and he understood well why. At least, he understood now. She had achieved so much on her own. He had no doubt he would be the same in her circumstances.
They rolled down the lane at a leisurely pace. The ancient horse stopped every now and then in some attempt to take in the scenery of some such—or at least that’s what it seemed to Harris. It would have been quicker to walk but a lot more painful so Harris managed to keep his patience. The old man cussed and smacked the rear of the animal.
“Damn beast. She’s a stubborn thing. Almost as bad as my wife.”
Harris laughed. “Don’t let your wife hear you say that.”
“She’s bloody well knows it.” The farmer climbed back onto the bench next to him and managed to persuade the horse to continue its deathly slow pace. “A stubborn wife is both a blessing and a curse. They’re determined creatures and not at all fickle. It’s hard to find a lass who isn’t fickle these days.”
He nodded. Anna would never be fickle; she would never do things by halves. Could she love him? If she did, he had this feeling she would love him fiercely—and he would love her fiercely in return.
“Well, here we are finally. Be warned, young man, all sorts of sinful behaviour takes place in there. You could lose more than a pretty penny.”
“Too late,” Harris said. He hated himself for saying such words, even if to himself, but his heart was gone. Lost to the owner of the den of vice. What a soppy fool he sounded.
“Ah. Well, best of luck to you.”
The farmer persuaded the horse to move again, but the cart stopped a little way down the path. Harris chuckled to himself at the bellows and curses of the old man. Still smiling to himself, he made his way down the long drive way to the house. The elegant facade hid the true nature of the place. Tall sash windows and long pillars echoed a time when it was home to a grand family. And now it belonged to the woman he loved. It was all quite astonishing really.
He scowled at the sight of several carts outside of the house. Boxes sat atop the carts, and there were many men moving in and out of the house with more boxes. What the devil was going on?
He quickened his pace and pushed past the people coming in and out. The main hall that had once housed art and sculptures of the more sinful variety was empty. He peered left and right and stepped into the gambling room. The tables remained, but the bar was empty and no guests were playing. The place, apart from the servants, appeared empty.
Where was Anna? What on earth had happened here?
A young lad moved past him and Harris tapped his arm. “What’s going on?”
The
lad looked him up and down and frowned. “Sir? I’m to begin packing away the tables. Mr Sedgewick said I could.”
“But why?”
His frown deepened. “To be sold of course.”
Harris turned on his heel.
“Should you be in here, sir?”
He ignored the shout of the boy and made his way through the private dining rooms and the various drawing rooms. Still no sign of Anna, but the rooms were as bare and as barren as the hallway. He stopped and cursed his idiocy. Her office. That was where she would be. When he had been staying at Stourbridge when she wasn’t in his room, she’d been in her office. He strode through to the back of the house and tapped on the door.
No answer.
He pushed open the door and his stomach dropped. It was completely empty. Why would she not tell him if something had happened? He’d received a letter from her not long ago, keeping him updated and that she was looking forward to seeing him. Whatever had happened must have happened swiftly.
Damn. Why had he not left Warwickshire sooner? Oliver was as well as ever. One would not even know he had been so close to death by the way he ran his mother and father and all his uncles ragged.
He closed the door. Someone here would know what was happening, he just had to find that someone.
He headed back outside and paced around the house in the aim of finding someone in a servant’s uniform or Anna’s secretary. He stilled when he caught sight of her. She still did it, still made his heart leap. He might have dropped to the ground in relief if she had not turned and spotted him.
“Harris! Whatever are you doing here?” She strode away from the group of men she was instructing and came toward him.
Gone were the tightly done up jackets and severe skirts and in its place was a pretty spring dress with tiny floral embroidery on it. His sisters-in-law would probably call it a teal colour. That was about the limit to his knowledge of fashion.
“I came to see you, of course. I said I would.”
“I had thought you would telegram to let me know when to expect you.”
Her cheeks were slightly red, as though she had been caught doing something wrong. His brows dipped. “I was not sure when I could get away, but I assumed you would be here, regardless. It looks like had I waited much longer, you would have been gone.”
“If you had telegrammed, I would have explained,” she said, a little annoyance in her voice.
He grimaced when his leg gave a timely pang. “You could have telegrammed me. A few words would have been all it had taken. Harris, I won’t be at Stourbridge. I’m running away. Something like that would have been easy enough.”
“I’m not running away.” She eyed him with concern. “Did you walk here?”
“Some of the distance. Tree trunk on the line,” he explained with a wave of his hand.
“Foolish man.”
“Says the woman who was planning on disappearing without saying a word!”
“I was not planning on disappearing! Must you always believe the worst of me?”
This was disastrous. He still didn’t know why she was leaving or what had happened and his leg was on fire and he had officially become grumpier than his brother Ash. What a wonderful way to greet the woman he loved.
“What else am I to think when you are in the process of moving out?”
Anna shook her head at him. “I think you need to sit down.”
“I do not need to sit down. I am perfectly fine.”
“Stubborn fool.”
“Frustrating wench,” he shot back.
“If you came here just to insult me, you may as well go home.”
“I did not come here to insult you, dammit, I came to propose.”
Anna gaped at him. Her lashes rose and lowered several times. “Pardon?”
Damn, he had not meant to blurt it out like that. He’d intended to see how she felt. Maybe figure out what his chances of rejection were. Establish if she actually loved him.
“You heard me,” he grumbled.
“Harris—” Her face paled, and she turned abruptly, hastening back into the house.
“Anna?” He walked after her but his wretched leg meant she outpaced him. Was the idea of marrying him so repulsive that she would run away from him?
He strode into the house, silently cursing himself. Of course it was. What could he offer her? Anna had everything she needed. He had nothing to give that she did not already have.
When he came into the main hall, she was standing in the middle of it, looking hot and flushed.
“Anna?”
“Forgive me.”
“Are you not well?”
“In a way.”
He peered at her and noted the tiniest smile on her lips. She did not hate him then.
“What is going on, Anna?” he asked wearily.
She motioned to one of the few sofas remaining, and he sat gratefully.
“I am not running away, I promise. But I have sold Stourbridge.”
“Why? It’s your life’s work?”
“And it was my life. It took over every aspect of who I was and I had realised I did not want to be that person anymore.” Her smile broadened. “I have you to thank for that.”
Bloody hell, did she have to be so beautiful when she smiled? Those dimples he’d once kissed graced her cheeks and made her seem so young and enchanting.
In spite of looking slightly damp with sweat, he wanted to stroke her face and kiss her until she loved him as he did her. All this love stuff was going to take some getting used to but as near as he could tell, it meant he did not just want to take her to bed.
Who’d have thought Harris Cynfell would ever fall in love?
“I am not sure what I’ve done.”
She put a hand to his face. “More than you realise.”
“So you are selling Stourbridge? What shall you do with the money?”
“Well, I have already invested some. My assistant has decided to go into the hotel business.”
“As you planned.”
“Indeed. I am her investor. She’ll be taking on all the workers who wish to stay with her. Nora was far too clever to work for me forever, really. I’ve secured good work for everyone else.”
“So the den of sin is no longer. What shall you do now?”
“Well, that depends on you.”
He swallowed. “It does.”
Anna glanced shyly at him. The look was far too enchanting. She had him mesmerized. If she said she intended to strip him naked and hang him from Stourbridge’s flagpole, he’d likely agree.
“Were you sincere in your proposal?”
“As much as I buggered it up, yes.” He took in a breath. “I love you, Anna. I want to support you, whatever the future holds.”
Her dimples deepened. “I am gladdened to hear you say that because, well, I love you too.”
Harris stared at her for several moments. He hadn’t been sure he’d been expecting her to capitulate so easily. Anna hadn’t been easy to win. Surely she did not love him already too? Surely he had months and months of work ahead of him to persuade her that she just might?
“Have I shocked you?”
“A little, yes,” he admitted.
“Even though you love me?”
“Well, yes.”
“I always was good at shocking people.” She placed her hand across the back of his. “Are you prepared for another shock?”
“I-I’m not sure.”
How was it this woman was capable of throwing him so off course. No other woman had ever managed the same. Who else could turn Harris Cynfell into a bumbling fool?”
“I am also carrying your child,” she said quickly.
“Bloody hell,” he breathed.
“I know. It was a shock to me too. Apparently the sponges are not all that effective, I have discovered. You would think I would know such a thing.”
“You are an innocent in a sinful world, Anna.”
“Not to others I am not.”
“I see you, Anna,” he told her sincerely. “I see you for the woman you are and not for who the gossips say you are. You are strong and caring and vulnerable. I care little what others think. All that matters is what you and I think. No Cynfell has ever gone untouched by scandal, however, I should like our child to avoid it as much as possible.”
“I do too. That is also why I sold Stourbridge. A chid cannot be raised in a house of sin.”
“No.” He pressed his hand over where she cradled his. “Nor should they be raised without their father’s name.”
“Does that mean...?”
“I believe that was a proposal. I don’t seem to be getting better at them.”
She laughed. “And here I thought you to be an eloquent man.”
“I thought I was too, but I thought many things until I met you, Anna. Now will you be my wife or not?”
Anna flung her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Of course I bloody will.”
Epilogue
Anna paused to admire Alice as she stood by the window, looking out over the lawns of Glasbroke House. The afternoon sun streamed about her, warming her chocolate hair. Her daughter smiled in a way that looked so much like her father.
Anna could not help but copy that smile. A sweet fullness filled her chest. At twelve, Alice was slowly growing into a witty, intelligent woman, and was unfortunately as stubborn as her mother. It did mean not all moments were peaceful like this, but she couldn’t help admire her daughter’s spirit. She suspected with her father’s affability and her own determination, Alice would go far. She was the perfect balance of them both.
“Have you seen your papa, Alice?”
“Yes, he left to see the horses not long ago.”
“Did you not wish to go with him?”
“Not today. Miss Grovesnor says I have to concentrate on my French today.” She rolled her eyes. “I can already speak better French than her.”
Anna held back a laugh. Miss Grovesnor was a fine governess, but she did fear Alice was going to outgrow her very soon.
“I’ll take a walk down to see your papa shortly.” She had spent most of the morning tucked away in the office, answering letters and consulting with the housekeeper. Their stud farm had been running successfully for over five years now and was as busy as ever, but thankfully it did not take as much work as Stourbridge had. Besides, having her husband join her in this venture halved the work. Between them, the farm had become quite the success.
