by Nikki Mays
My eyes turn into slits at his words. He just shakes his head. “Don’t give me that look. You know damn well that it won’t be long before some dude swoops in and makes her his. You’ve got to find a way to get your shit together and fast.”
I hate it when he makes sense, it’s really fucking annoying. “Okay, I agree with you there. But seriously, how am I going to get her to come anywhere near me willingly?” I’m pretty sure that she would rather be anywhere but near me at this point.
“Ask Paige.” He shrugs.
I look at him in disbelief. “Ask my almost fifteen-year-old daughter for help regarding my love life? How many beers have you had?” I ask making a grab for his bottle. His fool ass has to be drunk!
He swats my hand away. “Knock it off! I’m not drunk you jackass. Apparently, I’m the only one with common sense between the two of us.”
I take a sip of my beer. I have a feeling that I’m going to need all the alcohol that I can get for the rest of this conversation. “How do you figure?” I drawl.
He gives me a triumphant grin that’s making me slightly nervous. “Paige and her twins are the same age...in the same school...most likely in the same classes. Jesus man this isn’t rocket science. Ask Paige to help you out by having the twins come over to study or something.”
Maybe I’m the one who’s drunk because his idea doesn’t sound half bad. “Maybe...we’ll see.”
I’m staring at my girls completely dumbfounded. There is no way in hell that I just heard them correctly. Nope...definitely not. Is thirty-four too young to start having hearing loss?
“Repeat that again please. I think that I have wax in my ears and misheard you.” I say to the identical walking hormones in front of me.
Missy and Becca look at each other and do the creepy twin telepathy thing that freaks their father and I out constantly. Worst part is, it’s like looking in a mirror of myself years ago, with a few of Danny’s traits added in. “Can you please drive us over to Paige Joseph’s house so that we can study and hangout?”
I had heard them correctly. I just cannot believe that this is the type of luck that I am currently on the receiving end of. I try to think my way out of it.
“What about asking Daddy to take you?”
They both shrug...in unison. “He’s with his agent all day today. Dad said that he would take us but Jeff the Jerk would have to come too. We hate that guy.” Becca says with a sneer marring her beautiful face.
“Don’t we all.” I mutter more to myself than them. Seriously, Jeff is a giant douche canoe, but he makes Dan a ton of money so we’re all forced to deal with his sleazy, self-important, rude ass.
My shoulders sag realizing that there is no way out of this. “Fine, I’ll take you.”
“Geez Mom, don’t sound so excited. We’re making new friends. Isn’t that what you and Dad tell us to do?” Missy asks.
Just my damn luck that they pick someone attached to the man that I want to lick like a lollipop. The same man who avoids me at all costs these days. Parenting really freaking sucks some days.
“It’s not that I’m not ecstatic that you two have decided to make a friend because I am. It’s just that I don’t know how far away her mother lives and I need to finish up some work.” Bullshit...total bullshit, but they don’t need to know that.
They both give me a look that states that they think that I’m stupid but are smart enough not to voice that out loud. “Both of her parents live in town.” Becca says oh so slowly. “And her dad only lives like five minutes from here. She said that she’s with him this week. So, it’ll be quick.” She chirps merrily.
So, there goes my hope of not having to see JJ. I move my shoulders around and crack my neck. Fuck it! I’m a grown ass woman who has raised two children since I was a teenager. I can totally put on my big girl panties and deal with this like the well-functioning adult that I pretend to be most days!
“Okay girls!” I clap my hands. “Get your stuff and let’s get going then. I’ll meet you in the car.” I grab my bag and rush out to my car before I lose my nerve and call my kids an Uber.
With the girls right on my heels I feel like the universe is throwing me a huge middle finger today.
Once we’re all buckled in, they give me the address so that I can put it in the car’s navigation system.
“Mom, why do you seem so weird today?” Missy asks as we drive down our street.
“What do you mean sweetie?”
I glance in the rearview mirror and see both of them looking back at me. Have I ever mentioned how creepy having twins can be? Becca narrows her eyes, while Missy purses her lips.
“You’re acting really squirrely.” Becca states. “I mean you’re weird a lot but you’re not usually this bad.”
I frown at them. “I am not weird.”
“Yes you are.”
“Can you two please stop with the creepy shit for a few minutes?” I scold.
“See, squirrely. You never yell at us for something you know that we can’t really control.” Missy states and I unfortunately can’t disagree with her. I usually deal with their quirks a lot better than I am right now.
I hang my head a bit and slump my shoulders while still following the automated voice that’s inching me closer and closer to the man that I don’t want to see. Fine that’s a lie, but if I say it enough it might become true.
“I’m sorry girls. I just have a lot on my mind and have been really busy with helping your dad get this gym set up.” There is no way in hell that I’m telling them the real reason.
The navigation has me going just a few blocks over from us. We don’t live in the uber wealthy part of town, but we’re not in the ghetto either. I guess it would be considered upper-middle-class.
They both shrug, easily forgiving me. I mean, I did give birth to them, so they kind of have to. “It’s okay, Dad’s been on edge a lot lately too.” Becca tells me. “But I think he’s upset over that last gold digger he dated.”
I wrinkle my nose in disgust. “Ahh, don’t remind me about her.” Crazy, skanky-ass gold digger is what she was. I swear I need to find him someone because he has the world’s shittiest taste in women...me excluded obviously.
They both nod their heads. “She was cray-cray and not in a fun way.” Missy says. “Did you know that she told Dad that he should spend more time with her instead of us since we’ve known him longer?”
“That bitch was nuts!”
“Becca watch your language!” I scold even though I agree with her. That bitch was nuts. Who in their right mind would ever ask a father not to spend time with his children?
“What?” She asks innocently. “She was.”
“That doesn’t mean that you can use that type of language young lady.”
“Wow Mom! How does it feel?” Missy asks with a mischievous grin that has my hackles raising.
I glare at the view in my rearview mirror. Well as much as I can while making sure that we don’t all die in a horrific car crash. “How does what feel?”
“How does it feel turning into Grandma?” Becca asks with a smirk.
It’s totally acceptable to love and hate your smartass kids at the same time, right? “Ya know, you two are throwing a lot of shade for two girls who can be grounded and forced to do a ton of chores.” I reply smugly.
They both cross their arms and give me a nasty look but are thankfully silent for the rest of the drive. Mom for the win
The automated voice tells me that we have arrived at our destination. I look and see a small blue house with white shutters. The yard is immaculate and even has flower boxes on the windows filled with a beautiful arrangement of all different colors.
It’s obvious that JJ takes a lot of care with the appearance of his house. I would bet anything that the inside is just as well taken care of. I mean a man who takes such good care of himself physically, would naturally take care in every aspect of his life.
And now I’m thinking about those muscles that I really w
ant to see up close and personal. Preferably while licking whipped cream and chocolate off of his abs and that V that I just know he has. Or those dimples. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind licking chocolate out of those gorgeous craters.
I jump as a hand suddenly waves in front of my face. “Hello! Earth to Mom! We’ve been talking to you for like two minutes with no response.” Missy says.
Becca gives me a curious look. “Why is your face so red? What were you just thinking about?”
I cough into my hand and hope that my voice sounds normal. “Sorry, just spaced out. And it’s red because I was thinking about most likely having to deal with Jeff later today. You know how much that man pisses me off.” Not a total lie. That jackass really does piss me off.
They both give me a skeptical look. “Umm, O-kaay. So, are you going to come to the door with us?”
My eyes go wide at their question. “Why would I do that?” Shit, even I can hear the panic in my voice.
“Because as a good parent, you should want to meet the parents of the girl whose house we are going to be at all afternoon. You know, to see if you approve of them or get a weird vibe.” Missy states calmly. It’s annoying that they think so rationally most days.
I sigh out in relief. “Oh, there’s no need girls. I’ve met her dad JJ a few times. He works with Kayla’s husband. It’s all good in the hood.”
“Mom, never say that again firstly.” Becca states in disgust. “And if you know him, shouldn’t you come up and say hello? You know, the adult thing to do.”
I hate adulting! I really, really freaking hate adulting. I give them a tight smile. “You guys are totally right. Let’s go.” I say with as much enthusiasm as someone going to the dentist for a root canal. Actually, I think that I might prefer that right now.
We all get out of my metallic dark blue Porsche Cayenne Turbo that Danny bought me for my birthday last year. Crazy generous dope.
“Hurry up Mom!” Missy yells from close to the front door. What the hell? Did they speed walk? We just got out of the freaking car!
Picking up my pace...slightly. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” I mumble.
Becca rings the doorbell just as I reach the bottom of the steps. I can hear a girl’s voice yell “Coming!”
The door opens and a beautiful girl that I assume is Paige stands there with a huge smile on her face. There is absolutely no denying who her daddy is. She is the female version of JJ...dimples and all, except gorgeous.
“Hi guys!” She chirps. “Come on in. Dad and I were just making pizzas to eat.”
Paige stands off to the side to let us all in. Just as I figured, the house is just as immaculate on the inside as it is on the outside.
It has a very manly feel to it with the dark leather furniture and huge TV but you can tell that a female lives here as well. The throw pillows and blankets are a dead give-away. No matter a woman’s age, there is no resisting pillows and comfy blankets.
We follow her into the kitchen and I stop dead in my tracks while the girls all take a seat at the island. If I thought JJ was pure perfection before than I was wrong.
JJ in just a white muscle shirt – with well worn blue jeans and bare feet. He is the epitome of every fantasy that I have ever had. Add in the fact that he is rolling out dough to make homemade pizza and I’m surprised that I’m still able to stand.
When he catches me staring, he gives me a salacious grin and wink.
He looks me up and down and licks his lips. “Hey Sage.” I can feel my panties spontaneously combusting.
“Hey.” I say all breathy. My only saving grace is that I held in the whimper that really wanted to come out when he licked his lips.
Having Sage in my kitchen looking flushed is an incredibly appealing look. I need to remember to buy Rocco a case of beer for his genius idea.
I was a bit worried when I first asked Paige for help and told her Rocco’s idea. I shouldn’t have though. Paige couldn’t hide her excitement at the possibility of finding me a girlfriend. She was a little less than thrilled when I had told her the whole story of what happened.
I’m pretty sure she murmured the words jerk, moron and idiot a few times. I decided to ignore those since she wasn’t saying anything that wasn’t true.
I was a bit apprehensive when she said that she would talk to Sage’s girls and come up with a plan. Mainly because trusting a bunch of teenage girls to handle my love life seems like a recipe for disaster. And then I kind of figured that they might hate me for the whole not calling their mom or asking her out again thing.
With the way that the twins are staring at me I’m pretty sure that I’m on their shit list but they’re willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. They have a serial killer stare that would make Damon proud. Huh? Maybe it’s a twin thing.
The girls pretty much devised the entire plan and Paige made sure to explain it to me like I was stupid. She informed me that the twins agreed to get their mother here and that all three girls would make themselves scarce.
Paige suggested my homemade pizzas since it would take some time to make and give me more time with Sage. Plus, she said it’s one of my best creations. I’m not gonna lie, I do make some damn good pizza. I even make the dough from scratch.
“How does homemade pizza sound?” I ask the gorgeous woman in front of me.
She gives me an uncertain smile. “I’m sure the girls will love it. Pizza is one of their favorites.”
I give her a smile full of dimples. I’m going to use everything I’ve got right now. “I meant you.”
She blinks repeatedly. “Huh?”
“Did we forget to tell you Mom?” One of the twins asks. I still haven’t been introduced to them properly but that can be handled later. “Paige and her dad invited us over for dinner?”
Sage purses her lips and it looks as if she’s shooting fire out of her eyes. “No.” She replies tightly. “You said that you two were coming over here to study with Paige.”
“Oops.” The twins reply in unison. Yup, just as creepy as when Damon and Declan do it.
I can see her coming up with an excuse to leave. “I even made sure to make enough for all of us, since Paige said that the three of you would be here.” I give her a charming smile.
Paige starts bouncing in her stool. “Dad makes the world’s best pizza! You have to stay! He makes the dough and sauce from scratch. It is soooo good!”
Paige is laying it on thick but luckily Sage doesn’t know her well enough to figure that out.
Sage raises her hand and rubs her forehead. “Ah, see, I need to get back to the gym and save Danny from his jacka...I mean jerk of an agent.”
“Why would you say that? Dad’s not with Jeff the Jerk today, that’s tomorrow.” Twin A says looking innocent as can be. Those eyes though speak volumes.
Sage’s head whips around so fast that I’m actually concerned she might’ve given herself whiplash. “I thought you said that your father was with Jeff all day and that’s why he couldn’t drive you over here?” She says this with the fakest smile I’ve ever seen through gritted teeth. I’m surprised we didn’t hear a crack.
“My bad.” Twin B says. Shit, I really need to figure out which is which. “I told you that Dad was with Jeff today. I totally forgot that it’s tomorrow that he’s busy. But at least now you can stay for pizza since you don’t have to save Dad!”
The girls are truly earning their keep and I consider taking them on a shopping spree as a thanks.
Paige stands and claps her hands together. “Awesome!” She looks over at the twins. “Let’s go to my room. My books are all in there and we can lay on my bed to study. It’s a lot more comfortable than sitting out here.”
“Okay.” The twins say as the get up simultaneously. I wonder if other people think of the movie The Shining when they see them? Especially when they were little and probably had tricycles.
Paige walks up to me making sure that Sage is at her back and gives me a wink and then a kiss on the cheek. “Holler w
hen the pizza is ready. I’m starvin’ like Marvin.”
“Aren’t you a little young for that saying?” I ask.
She shrugs and bats her eyelashes at me. “It’s not my fault that you’re old and say that all the time.” Smartass.
“I’m not that old!” I take a handful of flour and toss it at her causing all three girls to flee from the kitchen.
In their haste they almost knock Sage over forcing her even more into the kitchen.
“You okay?” I chuckle at the comical look on Sage’s face. It’s part horror and part disbelief.
She nods her head slowly like she’s choosing her words carefully. “I’m just surprised that you threw flour at her.”
I tilt my head and give her a curious look. “Why?”
Her eyes widen. “Because you literally just threw flour all over your kitchen!” She states like I’m crazy.
I just shrug my shoulders. I also don’t miss the way her eyes track the movement, causing me to internally smile. “Eh, it’s just some flour. Nothing that a vacuum or a broom can’t handle.”
While I like having a clean house, my experience as a cop has taught me not to sweat the small stuff. The mess can be cleaned up later.
I nod my head toward the stools that the girls just vacated. “Take a seat. You can help me put on all the toppings when I’m ready.”
She gives me a saucy smirk and puts her hands on her hips. “And what makes you think that I’m going to help you make the pizza, let alone stay to eat it?”
I raise an eyebrow, enjoying the banter. “We both know that if you weren’t staying that you would’ve been out the door already.” I lean in closer to her and whisper. “Plus, if you don’t help you might end up with pieces of pineapple on yours.”
The look of pure disgust on her face makes me chuckle. “I told you! There is something wrong with people who put that on their pizza. They’re probably future serial killers or believe in aliens or some crap like that.”
