“This…is going to be the complicated part,” I said hesitantly. She arched her eyebrows at me, expectant. “Rachel, she told me she’s pregnant, and the toddler is probably mine.”
She blinked, then took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Oh.”
My eyebrows shot up, and I squeezed her arms a little. “Just oh? Nothing else to say?”
She shrugged. “You can't exactly help what happened, can you? And…technically, we weren’t together when you were with her, so…”
I frowned. “Why do you still look worried, though?”
Rachel gave me a shaky smile. “I just really want to know…Jason. What exactly do you want?”
I had a feeling she was asking me who I wanted, and she should have known already that it was never in question.
“I want you,” I told her honestly. “I don’t love her, I never have. She was just a booty call; I had no idea she would even come all the way out here. I’ll talk to her so she and I can settle things out, but you and me? That’s what I’ve always wanted, even when I lied to myself thinking I could forget you.”
I watched Rachel beam at my admission and felt something I hadn't felt tightening go warm and lose in my chest as she pulled me into her home.
Chapter Seventeen
Rachel
I pulled Jason with me inside and closed the door.
“Where’s Jack?” he asked, looking around.
I felt a warmth in my chest when Jason asked about him. If there had been one thing I was anxious about Jason and I being together, it was how he would take to being with Jack. He hadn't spent much time around Jack the times I’d taken him to the ranch. I’d caught him looking a few times, before rushing away like hungry wolves were at his heels, and I hadn't been sure how to take that reaction.
But he looked all concerned now as he looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of my son, that I couldn’t help but be happy.
“He’s sleeping in the bedroom,” I told him, pulling him over to the couch and coaxing him to sit down. “I have the baby monitor here so I can hear when he wakes up. Though, this place is small enough that if he cried in the room, I could hear him.”
Jason looked around the room, and I fidgeted beside him, my fingers playing with the hem of my top as I wondered exactly what he wanted to see. I took a look myself and winced. My place was nothing like the ranch. In my little living room, there was only the old couch and a small, wooden coffee table with a few stools scattered around the room for the rare occasion I received more than a couple of guests.
My kitchen was separated from the living area with an island that doubled as my breakfast counter, where I took most of my meals if I didn’t just eat on the couch. The kitchen area itself was small, with a small fridge and a cooker, and some cupboards to store food in. There wasn’t a lot of food around, though, since I hadn't been spending a lot of time at home, and even then, carrying food over from the ranch. Or just eating dinner there before going home.
I knew how bare the room was. My bedroom would be even worse, and the toddler’s crib squeezed into the spare room with a bed in it that had been my roommate’s before she moved out, ages ago. If I hadn't had Nathan’s help keeping up the rent, I would have had trouble keeping the place on my own and not working anywhere for a while.
There was no way I was letting Jason see any of that.
“I know it’s lacking,” I muttered, looking down.
Jason took one of my hands in his and squeezed it.
“No, that’s not it. I just…can't help thinking how you’d spent all this time on your own, through your pregnancy, and the first months of your toddler’s life.” His lips flattened as he looked around again. “The father should have been there.”
Perfect opportunity, Rachel.
If ever there was a time to come clean to Jason about Jack being his son, he’d just given me another perfect chance. I knew I would be an idiot to miss it the third time. I pulled my hand away from his and instead held both his hands between my small ones. I looked up to meet his eyes, to find him already looking at me.
“There’s…something I want to tell you.” My voice trembled as I spoke, and by the time I’d finished, it had grown so quiet, it was a wonder Jason even heard.
He nodded, his expression expectant as he waited for me to say it.
“It’s…” I started, only for my voice to fail. My stomach fluttered uncomfortably, my heart beating too fast in my chest. But, I was determined to let this out tonight. Before he had to go back to the ranch, back to that woman. “It’s about Jack,” I finally admitted.
“What about him?” he asked. Then his eyes widened in alarm, his back going ramrod straight. “Is there something wrong with—?”
“Absolutely nothing,” I said, cutting him off. “There’s nothing wrong with him. As I said, he’s just sleeping.”
“Oh,” he muttered, obviously relieved as he slumped back into the couch. His brow furrowed in confusion. “But what is it you wanted to tell me? Rachel, you can tell me anything. I swear I won’t mind.”
I hope you remember that in a minute, Jason.
I took a deep breath, then squeezed my hands around his.
“Jack…is your son,” I said slowly, watching him intently.
Jason just blinked, then smiled at me. “Oh,” he said, sounding happier.
I frowned. “Did you hear what I just said, Jason?”
He nodded, grinning at me. “Jack is my son, right?”
“Why aren’t you mad about this?”
He chuckled, pulling his hands out from between mine. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and slowly tugged me into his chest. I allowed myself to be snuggled, feeling incredibly confused. But being in his arms felt too good to resist, anyway.
“I already know,” he admitted.
I gasped and tried to pull away so that I could see his face. Jason kept his hold on me tight, though. He buried his face in my hair, and after a minute of squirming and him not letting go, I let my body calm down cautiously.
Jason sighed, and the breath washed through my hair and down the nape of my neck, making me shiver. I refused to be sidetracked, though.
“What do you mean, you know?” I asked, just a tad accusing. “That day when you came here, you were such a jerk to me about it! I didn’t even think about why you changed your mind so quickly…”
“It wasn’t quick, though,” he said sadly. “It took a few days, remember? And I found out exactly that day. There’s this ranch hand that kinda made me see reason. I mean, it was totally stupid, but…the first thing I thought was that you’d cheated on me. I didn’t even imagine he could be mine at first.”
I gasped again and tried to pull away. This time, he let me.
“How could you think I ever cheated on you?”
He shrugged helplessly. “I guess…it made more sense to me than you being pregnant and having my child without even once thinking of letting me know. But I didn’t exactly try to reach out to you either…and I know Nathan helped you, right?”
I nodded, biting down on my bottom lip. “You could have told me, you know.”
He scoffed. “You could have told me the truth.”
I had nothing to counter that. When he pulled me into his arms again, I let him sighing as I melted into him.
“I want to be with you, Rachel,” he admitted. “And be a part of Jack’s life. I don’t…want us to be anything like our parents to our son.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around him, feeling my eyes sting with tears. I’d hoped to hear him say that, but never thought it would come true.
A knock on the door interrupted us.
“Oh!” I jumped up from the couch and ran to the door, remembering I’d called someone before Jason came. Mary stood on the other side of the door, smiling at me.
“Hey, there, Rachel. I came to take the little guy out for a walk in the park.”
I smiled back at her. “Thanks, for helping me out with this. Please, come in.”<
br />
She followed me inside, eyes widening slightly when they fell on Jason. We got Jack dressed up for the outside world and put in his stroller, then the two of them were heading out.
“It’s going to be a long walk,” Mary whispered to me at the door with a wink. “Take your time.”
I felt my cheeks blush. It wasn’t what I originally called her for; things just worked out. But I didn’t bother to explain.
Once we were left alone, I pulled Jason with me to the bedroom. There were no words between us because we didn’t need any. We stripped each other down, nice and slow, then moved over to the bed. Jason dove first, pressing his lips to mine as he pushed me back into the bed.
We took our time exploring each other. Lips were pressing kisses wherever we could reach, arms roaming each other’s bodies. We rolled all over the small bed, several times nearly falling off, and I would giggle every time until Jason did something that made me gasp.
When he slid into me, I was already beyond blissed out. And he only made it better, as he made love to me, nice and slow, kissing me and playing with my nipples as his cock moved in long, slow strokes in and out of me. It drove me crazy, it was nowhere near enough, and I loved it. I orgasmed before I was ready for it, clinging onto Jason, and he to me once he hit his climax.
Afterwards, we relaxed on the bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, as we waited for our son to come home.
Chapter Eighteen
Jason
It hurt to leave Rachel at her place and go back to the ranch. But, Rachel had thought it would be better if she and Louise didn’t interact too much. I agreed, but I still didn’t like it.
Louise, of course, was still at the ranch when I got back later that evening. Like getting rid of her would be that easy.
“Hey, there, Jason,” she called as soon as I walked into the house. She was coming down the stairs, still in the get up from earlier, holding her phone in one hand and her purse in the other. She must have been left alone and had to entertain herself while I was out late having fun with Rachel.
A part of me felt ashamed. But, I had warned her that I didn’t have the time to be looking after her.
“Why are you still here?” I asked her. “Don’t you have things to do in the city? A party to attend maybe? Friends, to visit?”
“Aww,” she pouted. “But I’m already visiting someone, and that’s you. Is that your subtle way of telling me to get lost?”
I sighed. “If I wanted to tell you to get lost, then I would do it to your face, Louise. And, just for reminding me, you can get lost right now.”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Nope, not gonna happen. What you can do, however, is take me out somewhere nice and fancy to eat. Can we find any place like that around here?”
There probably could have been a place in town. When I’d been here, all I’d ever eaten, when it wasn’t home cooked food, was fast food. Louise wouldn’t touch that with a ten-foot pole. A lot of times, I’d wondered exactly how she and I got so close, since it seemed we had very little in common.
“There’s perfectly fine food in the fridge,” I said, walking around her and heading to the kitchen. “And there’s the food from lunch. Unless you ate all of it?”
“Are you kidding me?” she nearly screeched. “Do you know how much butter even went into that food? All of that is going to be accumulating in your chest, and you’re going to have a heart attack very young, you know?”
I winced. “Can you please not mention heart attacks? My grandpa just died of one recently. It’s kinda why I’m here.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh,” she whispered. “Shit, I had no idea. See, Jason? This is why you should tell me things!”
I frowned, wondering how she’d turned all that into my fault. But I just sighed and went about warming the food from lunch. It was still all there, and I hated that Rachel wouldn’t even be tasting what she ate. I’d ordered something nice for her and left her with it, so at least she wouldn’t starve.
After a few minutes of moving around, I felt a hand on my arm.
“Jason.”
The way she said my name, sounding serious, made me know that this was something important. I stopped what I was doing and paid attention to Louisa.
“What exactly are you doing?” she asked.
I frowned. “I’m getting dinner ready…”
She sighed and shook her head. “Not that, Jason. Don’t you remember how it was between us? The moment I walked into a room, I had your attention. You’ve barely paid attention to me the whole day, and you were even gone for most of it.”
I pursed my lips. “I’m, uh, paying attention to you right now?”
Louise scowled. “That doesn’t count. I had to hold you by the arm, Jason. You’ve never done that to me before.”
“What exactly do you expect from me then?” I asked, tossing my arms up. “I’m sorry that I’m too busy, Louise. And, I’m also not interested.”
She sighed, then placed loosely curled fists on her hips. “You know, this is unfair. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know there was another woman for you. That’s why I only ever remained your booty call, right? Me coming here didn’t even change anything.”
“Were you…hoping that it would?” I asked, tentative. She could have just asked, and I would have told her it wouldn’t work.
Her eyes narrowed at me. “It’s that woman I met when I got here, isn’t it? The one that has your complete attention. I didn’t ask her name…”
I hummed, turning away from her to look at the food. I didn’t want to accidentally burn it. Louise gave and an exasperated sigh behind me.
“There you go again…”
“Excuse me; I just don’t want to burn down the kitchen. You kind of interrupted in the middle of something important?” I reminded her.
She just huffed, but kept quiet. Once I had everything that could cause a fire off, I turned back to her.
“Now,” I started, narrowing my eyes. “What is this about you coming here for some attention?”
She puffed out her cheeks. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to meet good men these days? I can't find a nice, stable person to date. You know how sad that is, at my age? I’d hoped it could be you, but after coming here…it’s clear your heart is already set on someone else.”
I snorted. “You could have asked, and I would have told you. But we still have to do something about—”
She held up a hand, cutting me off.
“Don’t bother finishing that sentence. I’ll make your day right now and just tell you that I lied. There’s no pregnancy; I just wanted to get under your skin and to get you to let me stay.” She gave me a sad smile. She closed the space between us and rose up on her toes to peck a kiss on my cheek. “I know things won’t ever work with the two of us now, so I’m officially giving up. I wish you well, Jason.”
With those parting words, she turned her back to me and walked out of the house.
Chapter Nineteen
Rachel
I went to the ranch the next morning. I’d thought long and hard about it, and I’d wondered to myself.
Why the fuck am I hiding?
Sure, that girl, Louise, could claim to be Jason’s city girlfriend, but he’d already said it wasn’t like that between them. And, even though there was a part of me that felt insecure just looking at her, I knew I didn’t have to feel like that.
“We’re going on a trip,” I sang to Jack as I packed up the stuff of his that I’d brought along.
Then I picked up my son, and his luggage, and left my apartment. I’d called for a taxi already and would be paying with the money Jason had insisted on lending me when he left yesterday.
I arrived at the ranch, all but ready for war. The taxi driver helped me carry my things over to the door, and I gave him a generous tip, then he was driving off. I turned to the house, taking a deep breath as I walked slowly up the porch steps. The door opened before I got to it, and Jason stood there, smiling happily at me.
“Hey,” he said, grinning. “I was just about to come pick you up.”
He crossed the short space between us, and enveloped both Jack and me in a hug, before pulling back and placing a peck on both our foreheads. I felt a warm flush on my face when he did that. Jack squirmed a little and cooed over the attention from his dad.
Things haven't changed! Thank fuck!
“Let me help you carry your stuff inside,” he said, picking up bags.
I didn’t have time to protest before he was leading the way into the house.
I bit my lip and followed slowly, expecting Louise to jump out from somewhere and attack Jason, or something. I was pretty sure I’d pull her hair if I caught her doing it.
“We’re going to have to outfit a proper toddler’s room,” Jason said as he walked up the stairs. “He’s not going to stay that small forever. He’ll start to grow, eventually, and he should have his room for that. We’ll have to change it up every few years until he becomes a teenager…”
“Excuse me?” I said, blinking at Jason’s back, though I still followed him.
He threw a grin at me over his shoulder.
“I looked it up online. Though there are plenty of books about parenting, I wanted a crash course. He’ll be using the crib until he grows old enough to have his own bed, and it’s going to be a bit small to start with. We’ll switch it with bigger beds as he grows taller…”
I gaped at Jason’s back because it sounded a lot like he was planning our future with our son. And, it sounded a lot like what I’d had planned from the moment I’d known I was keeping my baby.
We stopped at the bedroom where he’d already had a crib moved in, and I watched from the doorway as he put the bags away. Then he walked around the room, looking at it critically.
“Do you like this room, or do you want to pick a different one? There’s a couple more we can choose from, including the one you were using before.”
I blinked at him, feeling lost. “If my room is in part of the options, do I have to move?”
He grinned at me. “Well, of course, you do! You’ll be moving into my room.”
Cowboy Daddy Page 7
