‘That was partly it, but it could have been sorted by us living here in Willowmere, as you suggested, close to James and the twins, without us breaking up.’
‘Exactly, but you weren’t prepared to agree to that, were you?’ he said, wondering where all this was leading.
‘I couldn’t, as it would have made no difference to the real problem.’
‘And what was that?’
She took a deep breath. ‘Do you remember me telling you that I’d been hurt in the car crash that killed Julie?’
‘Yes, of course I do, and before I could ask how you were and show my deep concern, you gave me my marching orders in such a way that every other thought was wiped from my mind.’
‘I’d only been out of hospital a few days when you showed up and was still trying to adjust to what had happened to me while I was in there,’ she explained.
‘I know,’ he said gently. ‘It must have been dreadful every time you thought about your sister-in-law and your brother left with two children to bring up on his own.’
‘It was,’ she agreed bleakly. ‘But there was something else that had shattered all my hopes and dreams. I had severe internal injuries and was told by a gynaecologist that he had no choice but to operate. I had to have a hysterectomy and came out of hospital knowing I would never be able to give you the children that you want so much. I couldn’t put you in a position where you had to choose between me and a family so I told you that it was over between us without giving you the true reason.’
As she’d been speaking Anna had watched the colour drain from his face, seen the horrified dismay in his expression, and known that she hadn’t been wrong in imagining how he would react to what she’d had to tell him.
Maybe it had been a mistake and she should have carried on with the miserable charade, but at least she’d given Glenn the chance to walk away from her childlessness now that he knew the truth.
His face was a frozen mask of pain as he asked, ‘How could you keep that from me?’
Feeling as if her heart would break, she cringed away from him.
‘I can’t believe that you have placed such a dreadful burden upon yourself and have carried it alone for all this time,’ he continued, and she became still. ‘Yes, I want children, Anna, but I want you even more. How could you ever think otherwise? And if we did want children, there are so many desperately needing loving parents. Our home need never be empty of them.’ He was smiling now and gently stroked her cheek. ‘Even though I wish you’d told me before, I’m humbled to know how much you must have loved me at that time to send me away like you did.’
As his words filtered through, Anna’s heart swelled with hope and happiness. ‘Nothing has changed,’ she said softly. ‘I’ve never stopped loving you and I never will. I honestly thought it was the right thing to do, and I’m so sorry for all the wasted years…’
He pulled her into his arms, stopping her stumbling words with kisses, and Anna knew that she was finally where she belonged. Not hopefully but completely.
‘We’ve got the rest of our lives to make up for lost time,’ he said, his lips now against her brow. ‘What I want to know is, will you marry me, Anna?’
She was weeping, sparkling drops on her lashes like diamonds as she sobbed, ‘Yes, I will marry you, Glenn. I do love you so much.’
‘And I love you too, more than anything or anyone else on earth,’ he told her softly.
She looked at him, her eyes luminous with the tears. ‘So you’re not asking me out of pity?’
‘Pity!’ he exclaimed. ‘Pity! Of course not. I came to Willowmere to see if there was any hope of us getting back together before I accepted what I thought was the inevitable, and there have been times when I’ve felt that the magic was still there, but you wouldn’t admit it.’
‘I was afraid to. You’re a kind and decent man and I couldn’t bear the thought of you taking me on out of compassion if I told you about my childlessness, but after this morning, when I thought I might lose you for ever, I knew I couldn’t let you go on thinking that I didn’t love you.’
As his arms tightened around her he said whimsically, ‘It was worth crawling over the freezing ice and having to fish that poor fellow out of the water with it crumbling all around us just to hear you say that you’ll marry me. What about the children, though? I can’t carry you off to Africa while they need you.’
‘James has sorted it. He’d guessed how we feel about each other and has found himself a great nanny in Jess, and Helen, who was our housekeeper when he and I were young, has agreed to cook the meals and keep the house clean.’
‘So the way ahead is clear,’ he said jubilantly. ‘I can’t believe it! If we go to Africa, it need only be for a year or so, then you won’t be away from the children too long, or we can stay here in Willowmere if you’d rather not.’
She shook her head. ‘No. I was just as keen as you to go there in the old days and nothing has changed, so let’s go and tell James our wonderful news.’
‘Yes, let’s,’ he said triumphantly, and kissed her thoroughly again before they went back to the car and drove back to Bracken House.
James had been delighted to hear what they’d had to say when they’d returned with the turkey and had suggested, ‘How about we invite a few friends round for a drink tomorrow night to tell them your glad tidings? I can’t think of a better time to celebrate than Christmas Eve.’
They’d agreed and then gone next door to the annexe, and once inside Glenn had produced a beautiful emerald ring that had been his grandmother’s. ‘She was the only other woman I’ve ever loved,’ he said gravely, ‘and ever since I’ve come to Willowmere I’ve carried it with me. Green and gold are your colours, aren’t they, Anna? But if you don’t like it, we can choose something else.’
‘It’s beautiful,’ she said. ‘I can tell that it means a lot to you and I’d love to wear it.’ She held out her hand and he slipped the ring slowly on to her finger. As they both looked down at it the future that they’d never expected to be theirs was opening up in front of them.
When the children were told the next morning that there was to be a wedding, the thrill for Polly of discovering that she was to be a bridesmaid in a pretty dress almost equalled the excitement of Christmas. Jolyon greeted the news of his future role of pageboy with his usual reserve, but seemed to approve.
As Anna and Glenn had sat talking late into the night they’d decided to arrange the wedding for the end of January. Until that time everything would stay as it was at the surgery, and in their domestic situations he was going to move in with her. At Bracken House Jess and Helen would step into their roles in the lives of James and the children, and by the time she was ready to leave for foreign lands with Glenn, Pollyanna and Jolyon would be used to the new arrangements.
At the party that night were Jess and her parents, Georgina and the blond man she’d danced with at the ball, who she introduced as Nicholas, Elaine, and Clare and her mother, and when James announced the reason for the gathering, there was much surprise and excitement.
‘We’re not going to lose you both, are we?’ Georgina asked them.
Anna replied, ‘Yes, but not for too long. We’ll be coming back to Willowmere to live. The wedding is at the end of January and then we’re flying out to Africa.’
‘Yes,’ Glenn agreed. ‘We’ll be back again in time for next Christmas. That will be long enough away for both of us.’
The guests had left, James had gone up to bed, and as the fingers of the clock moved to twelve, Glenn took Anna in his arms and said softly, ‘At one time I thought that the only way I would ever get to hold you like this would be under the mistletoe. I never dreamt that here was where you’d want to be.’
His glance went to the children’s presents, ready and waiting under the tree, alongside the traditional sherry and mince pie that had been left out for Santa, and he smiled.
‘James usually polishes those off,’ she told him. ‘He must have forgotten in all the excitement, so you
had better do the honours. It wouldn’t do for the children to find that Santa hadn’t had his snack when they get up.’
‘No sooner said than done,’ he agreed, ‘and then I have a present for you.’
When he gave her the watercolour she was entranced. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she told him, ‘and is going to go with me wherever I go.’
‘Even though your love of the place was almost destroyed by what occurred when the ice broke?’ he questioned. ‘I’d almost decided not to give you the picture after that, but you brought the magic back to Willow Lake by what you did in the evening.’
With his voice deepening, he went on, ‘I won’t ever forget that moment. You brought me out of darkness into light when you told me that you still loved me. Suddenly I could see the way ahead.’
As daylight began to creep over Willowmere on Christmas morning, the church bells rang out into the silence that hung over the village, and as the two men watched the children’s delight in all the things that Santa had brought, Anna said, ‘I’m going to take some flowers to Clare. I won’t be long.’
She lived in the apartment above the gallery and when Anna rang the doorbell Clare appeared with a robe over her nightdress and exclaimed, ‘Anna! Merry Christmas!’
‘I’ve brought these for you,’ she told her, handing her an arrangement of red roses. ‘They are just to say that I’m thinking of you, and to ask if you and your mum would like to come round for coffee when some of the excitement that Santa’s visit generates has calmed down a little.’
‘That would be lovely,’ Clare said, and almost as if she’d read Anna’s mind, she added, ‘I’ve got my appointment to have a consultation with an oncologist between Christmas and New Year, so that’s good, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, it is,’ she agreed, and as she wished her goodbye she hoped that the news that Clare was dreading might not be quite as devastating as she was expecting it to be.
It was raining, a sudden shower, and she had no umbrella, but there was something else she had to do now that the flowers had been delivered. Something that she wanted to do on her own while the only people about were herself and the bellringers.
Julie’s grave was in a quiet corner of the churchyard. At this time of year there were snowdrops on it, tiny white flowers with drooping heads. Later in the day James would come with sweet-scented lilies for his moment of remembrance, but now it was just her, wanting to know if she had the blessing of the children’s mother and hoping that she might feel Julie’s presence near her in the churchyard.
The rain had stopped as suddenly as it had started, and a watery sun was shining up above as she stood beside the grave in silence, but the feeling that Julie was close by wasn’t there.
What had she expected? she asked herself. Those other times when she’d felt Julie had been near could have been imagination, tricks of the mind or wishful thinking. The minutes were ticking by and, cold and wet, she turned to go despondently.
It was then that she saw it, arched in the sky, beautiful beyond compare, a rainbow, and if there was one thing that Julie had loved to see, it had been a rainbow.
On the day that she, Anna, had been discharged from hospital, James had brought the babies with him when he’d gone to fetch her, and as they’d driven home with her on the back seat beside the two baby carriers, she’d been in the depths of grief and despair until she’d looked out of the car window and seen a rainbow in the sky.
There had been one after the other all the way home and for the first time in days she’d found a degree of comfort because it had seemed as if Julie was somewhere near and from that feeling had come the strength to face what lay ahead.
When she reached the lychgate at the entrance to the churchyard Glenn was standing there and she asked, ‘How long have you been here?’
He put his arms around her and held her close. ‘Long enough to know that there was one thing you still had to do before you could move on. Did you get the answer you wanted?’
The rainbow was fading slowly but she was smiling as she looked up at her future husband. ‘Yes, my love. I did.’
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
® and TM are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.
First published in Great Britain 2008
Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Abigail Gordon 2008
ISBN: 978-1-4603-5636-4
Christmas at Willowmere Page 15
