by J Bree
After we finish eating Harley insists on walking us back to our room. Avery tucks herself under his arm and tells him all about her recital. I’ve already watched her entire performance thanks to Blaise’s recording. When we make it back I find clean piles of folded clothing waiting outside our door and I grab piles, noting a complete lack of underwear yet again. Every pair I’ve sent down to be cleaned have gone missing and I’m running out! Avery lets us into the room and Harley holds the door open for me.
“Remind me tomorrow that I need to talk to the laundry personnel, my underwear is missing again.” I grumble quietly as I pack away my clothes.
Harley, of course, overhears me and snorts out a laugh. “You sure you don’t have some pervert stalking you?”
I shudder. I certainly do have a sociopath stalking me I guess. Avery grabs her pajamas and heads to the bathroom. “Ask Harlow, maybe she’s moved onto stealing lacy unmentionables instead of my fucking shoes.”
I cringe at her swearing and I don’t notice I’ve been left alone with Harley until it’s too late.
“Why is your safety a concern for what we did last night?”
Fuck. Here we go. “Why?”
“What?” He frowns at me.
“Why do you care? You were just sick of your celibacy, right? You were just drinking and made a mistake because Annabelle is off the cards. So what does it matter?” I’m snippy at him but his attitude is grating on me.
Harley stalks over to me and grabs the shirts I’m holding and throws them on my bed. “Maybe it matters because I’m fucking worried about you. Maybe it matters because if someone is threatening you I want to know about it. Maybe I take this friendship pretty fucking seriously. You gave up a diamond for me.”
I groan and scrub a hand over my face. “You don’t owe me for that. I made a decision and the cost of that lands with me.”
Harley’s hands wrap around my elbows and squeeze firmly. “When I beat Hillsong for you last year, called Avery off, told all of the guys they couldn’t approach you, I did all of that because I wanted to be your friend. So let me in. Tell me why you don’t want to get involved with someone who goes here.”
I squirm under the intensity of his eyes and I try to tug away from him but he won’t let me go. Fuck. I have to tell him something. “It’s not about whether or not I want to, it’s just not a good idea for me to get involved with someone from Hannaford. I don’t want to talk about it.”
He glares down at me before blowing out a breath and stepping back. “One day you’re going to trust me to have your back, Mounty.”
Avery uses my missing underwear as an excuse to get a day pass from our classes to go into Haven together the following day. I can’t believe it’s as easy as that but then again, she’s a Beaumont.
She wears a dress, stockings, and heels with her hair curled and perfect makeup. I throw on jeans and a jacket, a messy bun and a touch of mascara. We couldn’t look more different but Avery tucks her arm in mine like there’s no question we’re best friends and then cackles at the looks we get from other students. I laugh because, I mean, what else can I do?
A town car drops us off in front of the small cafe I went to last year and I smile at the waitress Emily as we take a seat in one of the booths. Avery rolls her eyes at me, thoroughly bemused by my insistence on being friendly to people, and we each order our drinks. I know it’s coming before she speaks so I’ve already resigned myself to spilling my guts to her.
“Are you going to tell me who you kissed or am I going to have to pry the information out of you?”
I sigh. “It was Harley.”
“I fucking knew it.” She’s smug and I think about pinching or slapping her or something. She knows she’s treading a fine line and sticks her tongue out in an entirely non-Avery way and I roll my eyes.
“We went to the party, had our little showdown with Joey, shared a bottle of whiskey and danced, came back to the room, and then made out.”
“No sex?”
“No.” My cheeks probably look sunburnt, for Christ’s sake.
“I’m glad you showed some self control. I mean, he wouldn’t have claimed the sweep but you guys couldn’t keep that a secret.”
I can’t look her in the eye. I know who had the self control that night and it certainly was not me. I had the raging hormones and the soaked panties. I had taut nipples and gyrating hips but I definitely did not have any sort of restraint.
“Can we just forget about it? Harley has and I’d like to.”
Avery narrows her eyes at me and shrugs. “Sure. Tell me about the henchmen Joey had there?”
I wait until Emily has brought us our drinks and then I smirk. “You should have seen his face, he was so pissed his little surprise backfired.”
Avery laughs and I go on, “They were both bottom rung guys, you know, like the lowest on the ladder. I’ve met Trenton before a few times. He’s done some work for Luca and I’ve seen him around. The other guy knew who I was but I’ve never met him. He shat himself, I’m surprised Harley didn’t ask me about his reaction.”
Avery nods and props her chin up on the table with her fist. “I think he’s made some assumptions about who you are. Every time he gets close to figuring you out you throw him a new secret and he has to start all over.”
I shrug. “His family run in a lot of the same circles as the Jackal and others. The only Twelve members who stay out of the lower society dealings are the Crow, the Tiger, and the Lynx.”
Avery looks around but I’ve already done a sweep of the room. No one can hear us from where we’re sitting and I can see who’s coming in and out of the cafe. I raise an eyebrow at her and she clears her throat before whispering, “Can you tell me more about them? What they each do?”
“The Crow deals in information. The type of information you deal in, I’ve always guessed that he’s the bastard son of a big player or a governor or something. The Tiger is a lawyer. He’s actually a decent guy, dirty as they come but he makes bank by digging people out of shit. He’s married, got kids, lives a white picket life while being a member of a criminal institution. It’s fucking weird.”
“The Lynx?” Avery takes a gulp of her drink and I remember I have mine to drink as well.
“She’s a mafia princess. Well, queen I guess, she’s in her fifties. Her family has always had a member in the Twelve and when her father died both her brothers were locked up and couldn’t enter into the Game so she did. She was the first woman to win it. Her brothers both despise that she’s their representative. They can’t touch her because of her power and they have to run all of their business decisions past her. It’s hilarious.”
Avery chuckles and rearranges sugar packets absently. “So, who are the others then? What do they do?”
“The Boar runs the imports and exports, the Viper is a bookie, the Bear does cleanups and party drugs, the Fox runs parties of all kinds, the Ox runs protection and enforcing, the Coyote is the tech guy, and the Vulture sells skin.”
“Is that the guy who paid you with a raging boner down at the docks?” She shudders delicately.
“Yeah. He’s… fucking disgusting. He offered to double my money for Harley. Dickhead move, I could get at least five hundred grand for him in the right circles.”
Avery chokes on her coffee and fixes her watery eyes on me. “Excuse me?”
I laugh. “Ave’s, he’s hot. He’s built, pretty, tattooed, and he’s not at all lacking in the dick department. I’d get half a mil easy.”
Avery slams her cup back on the table and glares at me. “Firstly, how the hell do you know what his dick length is if you didn’t have sex with him and, secondly, but most importantly, he is my cousin and I never, ever want to talk about his dick with you. Ever.”
I blush and fidget in my seat. “We only kissed but I got close enough to him to know what he’s working with.”
“Ugh, hand me some fucking brain bleach.” She snarls and picks up her phone.
“What the fuck a
re you doing?” I hiss and try to snatch the phone out of her hands. She glares and turns away from me.
“I’m letting him know that you’re off limits. Jokes! I’m joking, I’m congratulating him on his dick.”
I could fucking die. “Avery, we’re no longer friends. If you hit send, I’m leaving you.”
“Yeah right, I’m your favorite, remember?” she says, cackling like the evil witch she is.
I grumble under my breath as we get up and head out of the cafe.
Avery directs us both to a tiny boutique store that sells ridiculous underwear that is basically scraps of lace for hundreds of dollars. When I say this to Avery she glares at me and throws me a basket, demanding I fill it up. I put three pairs in and refuse to get anymore. She makes a joke about showing them off to Harley and I pray the ground will swallow me whole. When we’re finished and safely buckled back into the town car, Avery grabs my hand.
“You know, you didn’t tell me what you and the Jackal do.”
I bite my lip. I don’t want to answer this question at all but I’ve trusted her with everything so far and she’s never let me down. “The Jackal does everything. Drugs, guns, extortion, kidnapping, fucking everything. He’s a gang leader, through and through. And the Wolf… is invisible. Collects things. Does things no one else wants to do and the stuff no one else can do. I’m good at not being seen.”
She squeezes my hand. “I think you’re good at being underestimated. Joey’s proved that over and over again.”
Chapter Fourteen
Harley starts sitting with Avery and me at breakfast in the dining hall before classes. He still doesn’t really speak to me, which is fine, but he laughs and jokes with Avery again and she’s so ecstatic about it that I’m once again feeling guilty about how much I’ve changed her relationships with the guys. When I say this to her she smirks at me and tells me they all deserve to grovel at her feet for her affection. I laugh because, well, it’s such a Beaumont thing to say.
I wake up to Ash sleeping on our couch more often than not. When I ask Avery about it she sighs and admits Joey is sending them both threatening texts again and he’s worried Joey is going to show up at our door again. Ash is still moody and scowling at me but he doesn’t try to speak to me. I take it as a win.
My tutoring sessions with Blaise has become one of the best parts of my day.
He starts to bring me more than just our playlists. He slips me partial lyrics he’s working on and little scratchy sketches drawn in the margins of his workbooks. They’re all little pieces of the real Blaise Morrison, the person he is onstage and away from the toxic wealth of Hannaford, and I’m totally enamored by it. He stops smirking and gives me these heartbreakingly cocky little grins instead. Our time studying alone together leaves me with an ache deep in my chest that won’t go away. I also frequently require a cold shower afterwards to calm my hormones the fuck down. I do not want to be making the same mistakes with him that I have with Harley but I’m starting to forget that he used to hate me. We work together so well as I help get him to the GPA he needs.
We spread out on the floor because Blaise works best when he’s comfortable and he likes the cushions in front of the TV best. He kicks his shoes off at the door and leaves his blazer draped over the couch. He only does this when Avery isn’t here, I think she’s threatened him for it before. His shirt is unbuttoned and his tattoos are peeking out. I can’t take my eyes off of that little patch of exposed skin, not even when Blaise looks up and catches me staring.
“Fuck, Mounty, don't make this even harder for me than it already is.” He groans and I look up, licking my bottom lip.
“What's hard?” I croak, the desire in my voice so clear and foreign to me. I sound like a sexed up harlot. Sweet lord.
Blaise exhales and tips his head back to blink at the ceiling like I'm testing him. Oh. Right. My mind kicks back online and I realize I'm drooling all over him and he's just trying to study. He's so beyond not interested that he's actually repelled by me. Fuck.
“Sorry.” I mumble and I turn away from him, focussing my eyes back onto the assignment in front of me and trying not to vomit in shame. I'm fucking pathetic.
Blaise doesn’t speak again. I mark everything he’s finished and we put together a page of notes for an upcoming test. I manage to calm down and focus on the work enough that I almost forget about how humiliating my reaction to him was. When my phone pings with a text from Avery to say she’s heading back from Ballet class I’m shocked the hour is already up. I put away my supplies as Blaise watches me. I avoid his eyes.
He clears his throat and when I refuse to look at him he raises up to his knees before me. I startle, my head jerking up to finally meet his eyes, and then he pushes me back into the cushions until he's lying on top of me. His eyes on my face are molten, fierce and smoldering, and I can't breathe as he slowly lowers his lips to mine.
It's soft and languid for a second, just the barest of touches, like he's worried I'll run away. When I kiss him back, opening my mouth and tasting him, he groans and kisses me harder until I think I'm going to pass out. His chest is a solid weight on top of me. My nipples are hard as they push up against him and I try not to instinctually rock my hips in time with the thrust of his tongue in my mouth. His lips are hungry as they consume me until I’m a shaking mess in his arms. I’m so fucking wet for him with just one kiss. My legs part so he can settle between them and he breaks away from me, panting.
“Is that better?”
A bucket of ice over my head would have been less devastating than those words.
I scramble out from under him and onto my feet. My hands are shaking and I curse myself under my breath. Blaise scowls at me and I'm so deeply ashamed of myself. I want to crawl under my bed and die.
“Avery is going to be back soon. I need to get ready for bed.” I keep my eyes glued to the floor as he packs his bag and leaves. I want to apologize to him but I can't find the words. I don't move or speak until I hear the door shut behind him.
Then I climb into bed and try not to lose myself.
My alarm wakes me. I turn it off and try to go back to sleep.
Last night I had pretended to be asleep already when Avery got home and she pretended to believe me which was very kind of her. She’s too smart sometimes, too intuitive, and it’s a blessing and a curse. I listen as she gets up and showers, then when she pours us both a coffee each and starts to make pancakes, without uttering a word to me, I break exactly how she knows I will. Evil dictator.
“Blaise kissed me.”
She lets out a little yelp that is so not an Avery Beaumont noise. I hear something drop and smash in the kitchen. My eyes squeeze shut and tears build up but I refuse to let them fall. I was kind of hoping this would roll off her back and be no big deal but the universe conspires against me. Great, now I’m just as dramatic as Blaise is. Fuck.
“He did what?! When? Did you kiss him back? Was it a peck or a proper kiss? Jesus Christ, what did you do?” Avery screeches as she storms back over to my bed. I don't look at her. I just can’t.
“We were studying and he was just being nice to me. When he packed up as we finished he pushed me back onto the cushions and he kissed me.”
Avery sinks down onto the bed. I still can't look at her. “Wow. I did not think he would do that.”
Fuck, my stomach roils all over again. “He only did it because he feels like he owes me for helping him study. I'm that fucking pathetic that he felt like he had to.”
Avery clears her throat and says, “Did he say that?”
“He may as well have.”
Her eyes narrow at me. “Tell me exactly what he did say.”
I groan and sit up. Avery looks worried, like really fucking concerned and now I feel like I attacked her friend. I know he kissed me but if I made him so uncomfortable that he felt forced to do it then it's still me in the wrong, right? Fuck, I have a headache. This just proves I should stay away from guys.
“He said I w
as making it harder for him while I was watching him study. I apologized then he kissed me. Then he pulled away and said ‘is that better’.”
Avery frowns at me and then down at her phone.
“I’m staying in bed today. I’m going to be a coward and just fucking hide here. He's coming back to study tonight and I need to figure out how to help him while I'm crawling with shame.”
Avery starts typing a message even as she scowls at me. “He kissed you, that's on him. Why should you be feeling shame?”
“Because he doesn't even like me. He was only kissing me so I'd keep tutoring him. Fuck, I'm so fucking stupid. Now Ash is going to lose his goddamn mind and Harley is going to get pissy at me for meddling in their shit again and Blaise is going to tell everyone I'm a pathetic stalker.”
She stands up and pulls back the blankets so I’m hit with the chill of the morning air. “Get up and go to class. I'll fix it.”
I groan and scrub at my face like it will change how awful I’m feeling. “Ave’s-“
“No, Lips. I will fix it. You have a test in Biology and I’m not sitting through Choir and Harlow’s crap without you. Shower and eat, I’m going down to eat with the boys and fix this.”
I sigh and do what she says.
I make it through Choir without looking at Blaise. He pointedly doesn’t look at me either which makes it both easier and more gut wrenching. Avery watches us both with keen interest, like she’s waiting to have to pry us apart when we try to kill each other. I feel like I should tell her that I don’t want to kill him but I do want to die.
I flee the class the second I can and when I sit down next to Harley in our literature class I give myself the pep talk of a lifetime. I’m been stabbed, shot, burned, snapped, chained, broken, and beaten. I need to get some perspective and get over the embarrassment of that pity kiss. I get close to believing myself.
Ms. Lucia had assigned ‘A Brave New World’ to the class as a reading over the winter break and we’re given a pop quiz the moment she arrives. I love the book, having read it in middle school, and I could have done the quiz in my sleep. I’m finished with twenty minutes to spare and I grab my notes for Biology to make absolutely sure I’m going to ace the test in the next class. Harley finishes up five minutes after me and he pulls out his own notes, immaculately written and so much better than mine. Ms. Lucia smiles at us both and then promptly ignores us as she marks our quizzes.
