“You’re feeling sorry for yourself.”
She lifted her head to peer at him. “What?” Why wasn’t he giving her all sorts of warm fuzzies and sweet nuzzles of comfort?
He frowned at her. “I can’t believe you’re feeling sorry for yourself. You just had the greatest sex in the history of the Otherworld, and you’re the first Rivka ever to feel what it was like to be truly alive, and you’re sitting there feeling sorry for yourself because you can’t have it all the time.”
She sat up and looked at him. “You’re serious.”
“Damn right I am.” He rolled onto his back and studied her, his green eyes still heavy with the aftermath of their lovemaking. “I thought you were a fighter. Not a whiner.”
She glared at him. “I don’t whine.”
“I didn’t think you were the type, but there’s some serious whining going on inside you right now.”
She stared at him, then broke into a smile when she realized what he was doing. “That’s so low.”
“What is?” He gave her an innocent look that she didn’t buy for a second.
“Taking advantage of your insider knowledge.” She poked him in the chest, then rolled off her bed, suddenly feeling better. “Now you know that insulting me pisses me off and goads me into action, and you’re taking advantage of that to manipulate me and make me feel better.” She walked into the bathroom and flicked on the shower, peeking back at him. “I hate being manipulated.” But I love that you made me feel better.
His arms were behind his head, his ankles crossed, and he was fully naked and not at all embarrassed. He looked rather like he owned her bed and was enjoying that fact immensely. “It was hell on my ego to have you cry after such a magnificent performance by me. I had no choice but to call you on it.”
She laughed as she stepped into the shower. “You sound like Satan.”
He snorted. “I do not.”
“Sure you do. Makes sense. I felt him inside you while we were making love.”
The shower curtain was ripped aside, startling her. His eyes were wide awake now, his body tense. “What did you say?”
She squinted at him through the water dripping off her lashes. “I said I could feel Satan inside you.”
“Are you joking, or did you really?”
She thought back to the flare of recognition when she’d found that part of him, well hidden, but definitely there. It was part of what had connected them. “I’m serious, but what would you expect? You were created by him.”
“Satan’s life force is still in me?”
“So? Trust me, you’ve got a mild case of it.” She turned and wet her hair, letting it cascade over her. Then she froze and turned back to him. “You have Satan’s life force in you.”
His eyes were tight on hers, and he didn’t answer.
There was no need.
They were both thinking the same thing.
After a moment, she found her voice. “Everyone they tried to link the Rivkas to died.”
“We don’t know that they tried Markku.”
“I’m sure they did.” She cleared her throat, trying to suppress the surge of hope bubbling inside her. “Nick, let’s be realistic. You can’t support me, and even if you could, I wouldn’t want to do it. It would make me subservient to you. We wouldn’t be equals anymore.” She met his gaze. “I can’t be your slave, Nick. I couldn’t live with that.”
“I’d never ask you to be.”
“But that’s the way it would be. We wouldn’t be able to help it.” But God, to be supported by his life force, to feel his energy inside her all the time…No. His personality was too strong. I will not trade servitude of one type for another. It’s not enough. She turned away and dumped shampoo on her head, scrubbing furiously. “Besides, even if the linking didn’t kill you, Satan would when he found out you’d taken me from him, man-friend or not. I won’t use you for my own ends.”
She felt his amusement. “You’re a Rivka. You should have no trouble using me,” he said.
“Yeah, well, I like to break the Rivka rules whenever possible.” She turned and let the water wash the soap out of her hair as she heard her phone ring in the other room. “Will you get that? It’s probably Theresa with the location of Satan’s ex-lover.”
He hesitated, and then she heard the shower curtain move and he was gone.
She groaned softly and leaned her forehead against the wall of the shower, letting the water cascade down on her back. Get yourself together, Becca. So what if she’d just had her world altered permanently by the best sex ever? So what if she’d never be able to look at Nick or her own life the same way again? What was she thinking, turning down Nick’s offer? It would give her everything she’d ever wanted, wouldn’t it?
But it might kill Nick. Or make her his slave, changing their relationship forever.
Dammit. Why couldn’t she just say yes? Nick had messed her up. Distracted her from her goal. Made her too damned complicated.
Nick tugged open the shower again, his face grim. “That was Theresa with Rosemarie’s address, but after I got it from her, Paige beeped in. She’s in trouble.”
Paige was in trouble? A fear unlike anything she’d ever felt knifed through her, and she had to grab the rail in her shower to keep from collapsing.
“Becca?”
She flung back the curtain, steeling her heart against the visions of all the harm that could be befalling her apprentice. “Let’s go get her.” Her voice cracked slightly, and she knew Nick noticed, but neither of them mentioned it.
Not that ignoring it would make it go away, but it was all she had.
Becca and Nick made it to Yasmine’s cabin in less than three minutes, reforming on the top of a hill outside.
Bodies were strewn all over the ground outside the cabin, and a big yellow school bus was on fire. No movement other than the billow of black smoke. Becca swallowed hard, her heart slamming in her chest. “Do you see her?”
“No.” Nick’s hand was on her shoulder, and she didn’t shrug it off. “She’s not down there.”
“So, that’s good.” At Nick’s penetrating glance, she shrugged. “Well, because I can’t use her to replace me if she’s dead, right?”
“Give it up, Becca,” he said. “You love her.”
“Shut up.”
He simply took her hand and started down the hill, and she followed him, picking her way around the bushes and a still-flaming tire from the bus. They made it to the bottom of the hill and walked around the bodies. She tested a few. “She’s taken all their souls already.” She stood up. “Paige! Can you hear me?”
There was a squawk from behind the house, and they both broke into a run.
Nick made it around first and skidded to a stop when he saw what was going on.
Paige was lying on her back, writhing on the ground, moaning and sweating and clutching her stomach.
“Paige.” Becca dropped to her knees beside the apprentice, blinking back tears. “What’s wrong?”
“Get them out,” Paige whispered. “Get them out.”
“Get what out?” She felt better when Nick kneeled next to her, realizing that she had a partner. Someone who would help her.
He laid his hand on Paige’s head, gently stroking her hair. “It’s okay, kid, we’re both here now. Get what out?”
“The souls I harvested. It burns.”
While Nick comforted Paige, Becca ran her hands over Paige, then found a pulsating darkness by her left shin. Tears burned her eyes, and she sat back, her heart tighter than it had ever been. “Sweetie, that’s not one of the souls you took.”
“What the hell is it, then? It’s like acid-eating fire.”
Becca laid her hand on Paige’s forehead next to Nick’s, trying to offer comfort like he was doing. “That’s your soul, honey.”
“Mine? What are you talking about?” She groaned and rolled onto her side. “It hurts, Mom. Make it stop.”
Oh, if only she could. She’d do anythi
ng to stop what was happening to Paige. “When you killed all those people out there, did you enjoy it?”
“Well, yeah, of course. I’m supposed to, right?” Paige reached out and gripped Becca’s hand. “I mean, they were there to kill you. They deserved to die.”
“Yes, but there’s a difference between doing what you have to do, and enjoying it.” She patted Paige’s hand, an empty action, but she didn’t know what else to do. “By taking so many lives and enjoying it, your soul is becoming dark. You’re embracing your destiny.”
Paige opened her eyes, her brows furrowed with uncertainty. “You mean my soul is turning black? I’m officially truly evil?”
“Satan’s life force has taken over, yes.”
Paige struggled to a sitting position and Nick moved next to her to help her sit up. “Well, it’s a sucky feeling. Make it go away.”
“I can’t.” She managed a smile that she didn’t feel, crying for Paige’s loss. “It’s what you wanted, Paige. You’ve officially crossed the line, and you’re well on your way to becoming a real Rivka.”
Paige furrowed her brows. “So am I going to feel like this always?”
“Only while you’re going through the transition. Right now, your body is fighting the transition to the dark side, but once it…consumes you, you’ll be fine.” She’d seen it happen with other Rivkas. They were cold, empty, and inhuman. Entirely without remorse or the capacity for any kind of human emotion at all. It made life as a Rivka so much easier, but after what she’d felt with Nick…she wouldn’t want to be spared the pain. She wanted every minute of light she could get, no matter how much harder that made it to return to her real life.
Paige pursed her lips together. “Well, that’s cool. How do I finish the transition? Because I feel like hell right now.”
“It’ll just happen as you do more of these types of things and learn to embrace it.” She patted Paige’s arm. “Congratulations.”
Paige beamed at her through the pain. “No wonder you’re Satan’s best Rivka. Making me turn black already. How long did it take your soul to turn black?”
She sat back on her heels. “Mine isn’t. I never let it happen. I never enjoyed my job, not really. So my soul never got black, which is why I’m different than other Rivkas. I’m just tortured and miserable. But you…you enjoyed it, and that changes everything.”
Paige’s mouth dropped open. “You’re serious? Your soul isn’t black? You haven’t been consumed by evil?”
“Yes.” She felt Nick’s gaze and looked up at him, humbled by the look of respect in his eyes. “It doesn’t make me special,” she told him. “It made me miserable.”
“It made you amazing.” He leaned over Paige and kissed her softly, but she could feel his emotions even from the short kiss.
She tightened her lips against the new surge of moisture in her eyes. What was wrong with her? So what if he was impressed? Since when did she care what anyone else thought of her? Stop being so emotional. You’re a Rivka, for hell’s sake.
“Well, forget it, then. I don’t want a black soul.” Paige staggered to her feet. “I’m not doing it if you didn’t do it.”
“It’s too late, and you won’t care soon anyway. You won’t care about what I think or Dani or anyone else. You’ll just care about Satan.”
Paige stared at her. “I’ll stop caring about you? And Dani? And Nick? And Yasmine?”
“Yes, but that’s for the best. It’s so much easier that way—”
“No!” Paige stomped her foot. “I refuse to do it. I will not give up my friends and my mom.”
“Paige—”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before? How could you let me do this to myself? You’re supposed to protect me!” Paige glared at Becca and Nick. “I hate all of you.” Then her eyes widened. “Omigod. My blackened soul liked that emotion. It twitched! I can’t hate, can’t I? I have to love! That’s how I’ll beat this.” She threw her arms around Becca, knocking her to the ground. “I love you.” Then she leapt up and tackled Nick, who caught her before she could take him out. “I love you, Nick.” She twisted off him and started circling them. “I love the trees. I love the blue sky. I love the sun.” She held up her arms and lifted her face. “I am love! I am good!”
Becca propped herself up on her elbows and watched her apprentice worship the sun. Go, Paige. Yeah, it would make Paige’s life tougher to care about others, but it was so much better, too.
Then she frowned. Since when did she believe caring about others was better?
Since she met Nick.
The man in question held out a hand.
She grabbed it and let him pull her to her feet, and something leapt between them at the touch, something more than what used to be there, and she knew why she’d changed.
Nick had changed her.
She frowned, and he lifted her hand and kissed her fingertips. “I want you to consider my offer. Let’s try to use me to support you.”
“So Satan can kill us both?”
Nick’s eyes flashed with anticipation. “I’m not afraid of him. Let him come after us. I’d love to give him payback for all the grief he’s given you. This is what you want. Why are you turning it down?”
“I…” She swore, not able to articulate her fear of him dying for her. She couldn’t live with his death on her hands. “It’s complicated. Just let it go. I’ll find another way.” She ignored his look of frustration and turned to Paige, not quite able to bring herself to let go of his hand. “Paige, we’re going to find Satan Jr.’s mother. Theresa’s husband found out where she is, so we’re going to check it out. We think she’s the one who bubbled Dani. You want to come, or you want to stay here with Jerome and Yasmine?”
Paige stopped spinning and leapt over a pile of leaves to wrap her arms around Becca’s waist. “Jerome and Yasmine are at Dani’s place. Jerome was freaking out and couldn’t deal, so Yasmine took him.” Her eyes flashed. “And of course I’m coming. I have to kill that son-of-a-bitch for blistering my best fr—” She stopped suddenly, her eyes widening. “Dammit! I can’t kill him. I have to love him?” She scowled and kicked the turf. “This sucks.”
“Killing is okay if it is done to save those you love, and if there’s no other option,” Nick said.
“Oh.” Paige brightened. “Well, let’s go then. I’m sure I can find a reason why I have no other choice.”
Becca wrapped her arms around both of them and held them close. “Okay, Nick. Where to?”
“Northern Maine.” He said the address, and she closed her eyes and took them just outside their target.
They peered over the grassy knoll at the scene below. There were tents everywhere in the meadow, the sounds of lovemaking coming from many of them. And three copulating couples that hadn’t bothered to make it to the tents. Nick grimaced and covered Paige’s eyes.
She smacked his hands away. “Oh, come on, Nick. I can handle this.”
“You’re too young.”
“She’s a virgin,” Becca added.
“I’m Satan’s spawn,” Paige grumbled. “I think I can handle a little sex.” She flared up a fireball and waved it at Nick. “Back off.”
He was about to argue with her when he saw Becca’s body tense. “What’s going on?”
“Those men below…do they seem familiar?”
He dropped next to her to study the scene below, frowning when he noticed the shimmering air rising from the mating couples. “They’re Markku.” A sense of belonging wrapped around him as he stared down. “This must be where the one who attacked me came from.”
“Markku? Really?” Paige wriggled up next to him and looked down the slope. “They’re seriously bad news, aren’t they? Indestructible and all that?”
Nick recalled what his assailant had said about them vanquishing the post-battle weakness. If that were really true…“Be careful around them.”
“I’m always careful.” Paige plopped down on her belly next to Becca. “So, what’s with all the
sex? This place is like a brothel.” At Becca’s sharp look, she shrugged. “I spent my first three weeks in hell. They’re all over the place. But not like this. I can practically feel the sex vibes coming from down there.”
“You can? Really?” Becca looked down there again, and then nodded in understanding. “There are Penhas down there.”
“Payne-yas?” Paige repeated. “What’s that?”
“Penhas?” Nick opened his senses and was hit with a rousing slam of lust that had him growing hard instantly. He growled and slammed up his shields. “Damn.”
“Their weapon is sex,” Becca said. “They’re so alluring that I’ve heard of mothers sacrificing their children for Penhas sex. They’re like a drug. Once they get in your head, you’ll do anything they want in order to get them to have sex with you.”
Paige looked wary. “Are you going to sacrifice me?”
“No, because I just had—” She looked at Nick. “Their power gets stronger the longer it’s been since you’ve had sex.”
Paige pursed her lips. “Well, hell, I’m totally screwed, then. I should stay up here, huh?” She scowled and bunched her fists. “I wanted to help, not hide.”
“You can help by keeping watch. You’ll be able to see things we won’t. Call me if there’s something we need to know.” Becca turned back to the meadow below, her gaze landing on a deluxe RV in the shade. “I’m thinking the RV is the command center.”
Nick threw his arm around her shoulder. “Let’s go check it out.”
When they reformed behind the trailer, Nick nearly staggered from the Markku vibes all around him. He reached out for them and felt their lust as they rutted away…and at the same time, he sensed regret. Frustration. A loss of control. Desperation. “The Markku are being controlled by the Penhas,” he whispered. “There are female Markku here as well, and they’re all at the mercy of the Penhas.” He had a burning need to help them, but he willed himself not to be distracted. He was here for Dani, not to save the other Markku. They would have to wait.
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Hot Page 21
