Thoughts of sending him away entered her head. She’d made a few halfhearted tries the day before but she had little willpower when it came to him. She was going to have to resign herself to being with him until whatever heat they had fizzled out. Hopefully if she prepared herself their inevitable break would only be bittersweet.
The sounds of a child crying shook Ellis’s thoughts. Ahead of them she spotted a little boy in a red hooded sweatshirt and denim jacket sobbing. Something in her heart twisted. He couldn’t have been more than four, his sweet face fearful and innocent.
Letting go of Mike’s hand, she carefully approached the child. “Hello, my name is Ellis. Are you okay?”
“No.” The little boy’s lower lip quivered. “I-I-I can’t find her.”
“Who?” Before Ellis realized what she was doing she picked up the boy and cuddled him close. “Who can’t you find, sweetheart?”
“My mommy. I went to look at the red bird but when I turned around my mommy was gone.” A fresh wave of tears streamed down his face.
“Oh, honey,” she breathed, feeling sorry for the little blond child. “I’m sure we’ll find her. Try not to worry.” She looked toward Mike, who was studying her with a slight frown. “This is my friend Mike. He’s a policeman. He’ll help me make sure you get back to your mommy.”
The boy stopped crying for a moment. “Do you have a gun?”
“Yikes, kid! Not at the moment.” Mike shook his head. “What does your mother look like?”
The child’s eyes watered again. “I don’t know.”
“Really, Mike,” Ellis said smoothing a kiss over the child’s wet cheek. “You expected him to give you a full description?” She patted his back. “What’s your name, honey?”
“Jared.” He rested his head on Ellis’s shoulder. “You smell like animal crackers. I like animal crackers.”
“So do I, Jared,” Mike said, giving Ellis a wink. “Come on, let’s head back to the store. I’m sure your mother will show up there soon.”
Twenty minutes and two cider doughnuts later, Jared was reunited with his harried but relieved mother. She wasn’t what Ellis expected when she walked up. The woman was a bombshell wrapped in a pink sweater and tight jeans. Long legs, thin body, breasts too well formed to be all natural, and once her child was safely back in her arms she eyed Mike like he was devil’s food cake and she was on a diet.
“Thank you again for finding him,” she said, placing her hand on Mike’s bicep. “I turned around and he was gone. I’m so glad he found a police officer to take care of him.”
“I didn’t find the police officer, Mommy,” Jared said, sounding annoyed. “Ellis found me and she bought me doughnuts.”
Katie, Jared’s mother, barely tossed Ellis a look. Ellis was used to being dismissed by women who thought they were more attractive. “Of course she did, sweetheart. I hope those doughnuts don’t ruin your lunch.”
Bitch.
“Sometimes a kid needs a little comfort food.” Mike said, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Speaking of lunch, I think it’s time we got out of here.” He glanced at Ellis and then back to the mother and child. “Don’t lose your mom again, kid. You have to watch her. It’s your job to keep an eye on her.”
“Okay, Mike. Good-bye, Ellis.”
“Good-bye, Jared.”
Mike put his hand on the small of Ellis’s back and led her from the store.
“I thought you didn’t want kids.”
“I don’t.” She looked at him, surprised by his accusatorial tone. “I would never lose the baby weight and God knows I don’t need any more weight issues.”
“Really? The way you were looking at that kid, I wasn’t sure you were going to give him back.”
There were moments when she felt a slight ticking of her biological clock, but she ignored it. All women felt that way around very cute small children.
“And the way his mother was looking at you I wasn’t sure she was going to give you back.”
“What?” He shook his head. “She wasn’t giving me the look.”
“Oh, Mikey.” She sighed. “Have you gotten so many looks from women that you don’t notice them anymore? It must be a downfall of being super gorgeous.”
“Super gorgeous, Ellis?” He gave her a smile that melted her insides. “Why, I had no idea you felt that way. What exactly about me do you find super?”
“Oh stuff it, Copper.” She blushed, wishing she hadn’t said that. She didn’t want him to know that her feelings for him were growing. She didn’t want to give him any clue as to how she felt. And though the day was wonderful she knew there wouldn’t be many more days like it.
They walked back to the car, hands empty, both quietly lost in their own thoughts.
“We didn’t buy anything.” Ellis stopped. “How could we leave an apple orchard with no apples?”
Mike tsked and shook his head. “It’s an abomination. We need a pie or at the very least some cider.”
“On the way home we can stop for vanilla ice cream.”
“And maybe some chicken potpies from Roma’s?”
Ellis nodded. “And wine?”
“Absolutely.” He smiled at her as he fished his wallet out of his pocket. “I’ll call in an order. Get whatever you want from the store.”
“Ah.” Ellis grinned back him. “That is probably my most favorite phrase ever.”
*
Mike watched Ellis skip away, the smile still on her face. She was happy today, and seeing that made him feel confident in his decision to pursue things with her. His brain warned him to take things slow but his body was screaming to take her to bed. He would take her to bed again. He just needed to wait a little while longer. He wanted her to trust him, which was odd for him. He never cared if a woman trusted him, but then again he’d never cared about a woman so much before.
“Detective?”
At the sound of his title he looked up to see Jared’s mother coming toward him, minus her child.
“Don’t tell me she lost him again.”
He had to admit the kid was pretty cute, even though he spent the better part of half an hour crying. Mike had limited experience with children. He had a couple of nieces and nephews back in Buffalo but didn’t see them often. When he did, he was always bearing Christmas presents, which made him a very popular uncle.
He didn’t expect to see the look in Ellis’s eyes when she picked up the boy. It was a little bit of longing. It made him wonder if all women had that look in their eyes when they held a small child or if, despite what Ellis had said, motherhood was in her future. She would be a good mother.
His chest suddenly grew heavy. He could picture her pregnant, and this time the thought of fatherhood didn’t freak him out as much as it used to.
“Hi, Mike,” Katie said, approaching. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled at him. Her teeth were too white. He didn’t trust her smile.
“Did you need something?”
“No.” She rested her hand on his arm. “I just wanted to thank you again for finding my son.”
“You should thank Ellis. I didn’t find Jared. She did. I happened to be with her.”
“Oh! Don’t diminish your role. What you did was wonderful. You comforted my son.”
“I really didn’t—”
“I want to thank you properly.” Her smile took on a predatory quality. “My mother is willing to watch Jared tonight.” Katie slid her hand up Mike’s arm, squeezing his bicep. “We can have drinks, maybe go back to your place for a nightcap.”
Shit. Ellis was right. He smiled, wondering how much she would gloat when he told her. “I’m sorry, Katie, but I can’t see you.”
“Is tonight not a good time?” She pouted and ran her fingertips up his chest. “We can make it later in the week. Jared goes to his father’s house Friday night. I’ll have a whole week to prepare for us.”
Mike removed her hand from his body. “I can’t have drinks with you ever. Didn’t you see I was wi
th Ellis?”
“Her? You’re with her? Like on a date?”
Mike frowned, not liking her tone. “It’s more than a date. We’re together.”
“Really?” Katie shook her head. “But she’s—she’s…”
“What?”
“Fat.”
“Don’t,” Mike warned. “Don’t be a bitch just because you got turned down.”
“I’m not being a bitch,” she snapped. “I just couldn’t fathom a man like you going out with somebody who looks like her. But now that I see what your taste level is like I’m glad I won’t be wasting my time on you.”
“Yeah? Even if I weren’t with her, I wouldn’t consider going out with a woman who’s too self-involved to keep track of her kid. Do the world a favor. Don’t have any more.”
Katie stomped off. Mike watched her go, sad that she felt the need to put down somebody else to lift herself up. Shaking his head, he pulled out his phone to place the order he promised Ellis he would make.
Chapter Seventeen
Stupid Things I’ve Done to Look Skinnier
Plastic wrap around my belly, arms, thighs and ass. (I felt like lunch meat.)
A corset over a girdle over two pairs of Spanx. (I felt like sausage.)
The lesson in all that: Learn to love the way you look.
“Why are you so quiet?” Mike asked Ellis. “Is something wrong?”
She was seated next to him on her couch, piping-hot chicken potpies in front of them. They had been back from the orchard for twenty minutes. As soon as they stepped inside her house Ellis excused herself to her room. She washed her face. Changed her clothes. Stalled so she could get herself together. She didn’t want her mood to affect their day. She tried to keep the smile on her face. Tried not to wear her heart on her sleeve, but she knew she was failing miserably.
“I’m fine,” she lied.
She had seen what transpired between Mike and Jared’s mom. She heard the disbelief in the woman’s voice when Mike told her that they were together. Saw Katie’s thoughts even before she had said the words.
You’re with her?
She should have been used to it by now. Every time they went out together, every time they passed a woman on a street they would get looks. Women who wondered how the hell she managed to get a guy like Mike or women who silently cheered her on.
Way to go, fat girl. You’ve got a cute boyfriend.
The confident Ellis wanted to shout them down. Of course Mike was with her. Why wouldn’t he be? She was beautiful, too. But the insecure girl thought they were right, thought that Mike should be with somebody who looked the part. Somebody thin like her sister, like every other girl Mike had dated.
“You tired?” Mike put down his lunch and placed his hand on the back of her neck, slowly rubbing away the tension with his thumb. “Did not picking apples at the orchard take it out of you?”
She nodded, unable to speak for a moment.
“So, no five-mile hike in Wilbur Park tomorrow?”
“No.” She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. Her eyes were burning.
Knock it off. Be happy. Don’t be a whiny fat girl.
“What’s wrong, Ellie? I’m not used to you being so quiet.” The concern in his voice was deep. “I don’t like it.”
“I’m fine. I promise.”
He didn’t believe her.
“If I asked any other woman that question she would blab for hours. Talk to me.”
Stop it, damn it. Don’t cry. Don’t let some bimbo with a boob job and a tight sweater ruin your day.
He cupped her face in his hands and pulled it away from his body. His gentle concern made it worse. She couldn’t look at him. She shut her eyes tightly to keep them from filling with water. She was sick of not feeling good enough.
He likes you. You like yourself. What’s wrong with you?
She had blamed Jack for making her feel that way but maybe she should shoulder some of the blame. Maybe her confidence wasn’t what it ought to be.
“You haven’t said a mean thing to me in hours.” He pressed kisses to both of her cheeks. “I’m starting to think you don’t like me anymore.”
“You have ugly man feet,” she managed.
“Thanks.” He gave her a half smile, pushed her down on the couch, and pressed his lips to hers.
Her body sighed, with pleasure, with relief, as his came into contact with it.
Thank God.
*
Something was up with Ellis. Mike couldn’t put his finger on it but he could tell by her expression that it was more than just sleepiness affecting her. It made his gut clench, made him want to make whatever it was that ailed her better.
Fix it for her.
He pushed her down on the couch, the overwhelming need to kiss her driving him. Her soft thighs came around his waist, welcoming him. He felt at home.
Shit.
He wasn’t used to this. Caring so much. Wanting happiness for another more than he wanted it for himself. He hated the feeling, but more than that he hated not knowing how to fix something.
He wanted her to tell him what was wrong but Ellis wasn’t in the mood for talking. Kissing. Yes. Lovemaking. Absolutely. Her body relaxed beneath his. He ran his hands up the back of her bare thighs, as a little part of his brain whispered that what he was doing wasn’t right. But damn, it felt good.
He broke his kiss to study her face.
“Don’t stop.”
Lord knows he didn’t want to. “We should talk.”
“About what?” She lifted her head off the cushion to kiss him.
“Mmm,” he moaned. “Stop that! We should talk about what’s bothering you.”
“The only thing that’s bothering me is you not kissing me.” She let out a frustrated sigh. “What’s wrong with you anyway? What kind of man would rather talk than have sex?”
“What kind of woman would rather have sex than talk? Oh, and for the record I’d rather have sex.” He rubbed his lower half against hers to prove his point. She smiled that naughty smile, and part of the tight ball in his stomach dissolved. “I want to know what’s wrong with you.”
She blinked at him. “Why do you care?”
“Why don’t you understand how much I like you?”
She still didn’t trust him, and as much as it bugged him he almost understood why. His track record, his past with her sister—none of that inspired much confidence, and for the first time in his life he realized that what he had was too good to give up. He was going to have to take things slow with her.
“Kiss me,” she ordered.
He wanted to force her to answer him but instead he did as she asked, feeling her melt as he slid his tongue into her sweet mouth. Her hands slid up the back of his shirt, causing his skin to burn, causing him to want to peel off every inch of their clothing. Skin to skin. Body to body. The memory of their last time still hung in his mind. Just thinking about her made him hard. Knowing what she felt like around him made it impossible not to want to slide inside her and pump away until they both melted into oblivion. But it wasn’t the right time. Not yet. He had to prove to her that she was different from the others. That he could be different with her.
“Mike,” she panted when he broke the kiss.
He placed his hand between her thighs, inside her panties. She was wet. Wet and he hadn’t touched her breasts, or stroked her nipples. He hadn’t done much more than press his lips to hers.
He rubbed his thumb across her nub, causing her to shiver and smile and moan all in the same moment.
The way she looked when they made love made him want to memorize her face to capture the moment forever.
“You’re so pretty, Ellie.” His kissed her jawline, the smooth skin of her cheek, the tip of her nose. All while his hand worked to bring her pleasure. Her orgasm came mere moments later. The intensity of it left them both panting and him so turned on that he had to leave her. If he didn’t he wouldn’t be able to control himsel
f.
She had that kind of effect on him.
“I have to go, honey.” He watched the confusion, the hurt sweep across her face before he leaned in to kiss her. She would understand soon. He wasn’t about to end things.
Chapter Eighteen
The Cracks That Kill
As a girl who spends her days trying to help other women look their best, there is something I simply must say. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to see the crack of your no-no space.
You have to realize it’s out. Seriously? Don’t you feel all the air rushing down the great divide?
“An unsolicited visit?” Phillipa said as Ellis stood at the door of her parents’ home. “What good deed did I perform to deserve this? Wait a minute.” Her hand shot out to check Ellis’s temperature. “Are you sick? What’s the matter? It’s the time of year where you tend to get sick. Are you congested? Constipated? I have cod liver oil in the bathroom. That will work out whatever you got stuck up there.”
“Mother,” Ellis groaned. “How do you manage to speak so many words in such a short amount of time?”
“I’m talented.” She ushered Ellis inside, kissing her cheek as she did. “Tell Mommy why you came.”
They sat together on the couch, Ellis muting the television as she did. “Daddy called me at work today and told me to come for dinner.”
“He did?” Phillipa frowned. “He didn’t tell me that. He tells me everything.”
“I wanted to surprise you.” Walter walked in wearing a pumpkin-printed tie with a starched salmon-colored shirt. “I called Tomatillos and ordered you a cheese quesadilla, rice, and beans with no cilantro.” He nodded. “You don’t like cilantro. You said it tastes like soap.”
“Thank you, darling, but I already started making my low-fat vegan macaroni and cheese. We’ve been eating out a lot lately, and I thought you would enjoy a home-cooked meal.”
Ellis watched her father nod and walk away. She smiled. Her father only did that when he was about to say something that might hurt Phillipa’s feelings.
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