Through the Window 2

Home > Other > Through the Window 2 > Page 35
Through the Window 2 Page 35

by Mary Jane Ballew


  “Why would that be?” Caroline asked, somewhat defensively. “I suppose you do not think that I truly like to read books?”

  Elizabeth furrowed her brow in confusion, “I meant no offense by my comment,” she assured her. “I only said I was surprised to see you here because I thought I understood from Jane that you were to attend a concert tonight with her and Charles, along with Mr. and Mrs. Hurst?”

  Caroline raised her brow, “Oh yes, I had almost forgotten about that,” she said as she carefully placed a ribbon inside the book. “I was not entirely sure I want to go after all. I have been feeling somewhat weary of late.”

  Elizabeth furrowed her brow, “I do hope you are well; it is not like you to stay in.” she remarked. “I thought you were looking forward to going to the concert? It was a wonderful performance; Mr. Darcy and I both liked it very much. I believe Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam commented on it as being very enjoyable as well.”

  Caroline took in a small breath, “I was looking forward to going, however, now I am not sure that I wish to go. As I said before, I have been tired,” she said dejectedly.

  Elizabeth hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Caroline, are you sure that is all that is troubling you?” she asked. “I do not mean to pry, but I have noticed you have been somewhat distant since attending the ball the other evening at Mrs. Wessham’s home.”

  Caroline took in a small breath and did her best to control her emotions. “Really, Elizabeth, I do not know what you are talking about,” she told her. “I have been perfectly fine, I assure you. I promise you I am not upset in the least, only a bit tired. Perhaps I am beginning to see things differently. After all, I believe it was you who remarked that one could attend too many balls,” she said in a rather curt manner. “Mrs. Wessham’s ball was just a bit too much for me, I think. One can have too much company, I believe,” she said as she tucked the book under her arm and picked up her glass of wine. “I think I will go to my room and finish reading my book,” she said before she turned to leave.

  Elizabeth furrowed her brow, “Very well, Caroline; I will not mention it again. However, before you go, may I have just a moment to speak with you about Lord Ashworth?”

  Caroline stopped abruptly at the mention of his name and turned back towards her. “What could you possibly have to speak with me about concerning him?” she demanded to know.

  Elizabeth was somewhat surprised by her reaction. “Only that Mr. Darcy is considering inviting him to Georgiana’s ball, and I thought I would ask you if you thought that a wise decision.”

  “But surely by now, the invitations have already been given?” Caroline said, sounding a little panicked.

  “Yes, that is true; However, Lady Fitzwilliam mentioned that we could always invite last minute guests as some families are just now arriving in town, so I may yet invite Lord Ashworth if you think it wise?” Elizabeth commented.

  Caroline was clearly agitated. She narrowed her eyes, “How should I know if it would be wise to invite him or not?” she asked her sarcastically.

  Elizabeth was taken aback, “Truly, Caroline, I meant no offense by asking you about him,” she assured her. “I only asked because you were of help the other day in deciding who should be invited when Lady Fitzwilliam came to tea. You know so many of the families in London, and I thought you might have some thoughts on Lord Ashworth. I did not mean to cause you any distress with my question.”

  Caroline took in a small breath and did her best to recover from her shock of hearing his name again. “I am sorry, Elizabeth, for reacting as I did just then,” she told her. “As I said, I am feeling rather tired. While it is true I do know a number of the more established families in London; I am not really acquainted with Lord Ashworth. I am afraid I cannot advise you. I do not know the man except by name,” she commented. “Perhaps you might ask Lady Fitzwilliam,” she suggested, then turned to leave. She walked over to the door, then stopped again. She struggled with what more she should say; the thought of seeing him again overwhelmed her as tears formed in her eyes, and she hurriedly blinked them away. If she left now and said nothing, it was possible that Lady Fitzwilliam not knowing his true nature might suggest he be invited. In a moment of weakness, she turned back around and did her best to keep her voice even. “Elizabeth, I was not entirely honest with you just now,” she began to say. She struggled to keep her emotions in check, “For reasons I do not wish to go into, I can only say that from what little I do know of Lord Ashworth, I would not include him on your guest list. In many ways, I would equate his character to that of Mr. Wickham, and as such, should be avoided,” she told her. Before Elizabeth could ask anything else of her, she said, “Please do not ask anything more of me on the matter. I can say nothing more. Only know this: if you should choose to invite Lord Ashworth, I will be unable to attend.”

  Elizabeth nodded her head, “Very well,” she said as she watched Caroline hastily leave the room.

  Once Caroline was safely in her room, she placed the book down on the dressing table and sat down to look at her reflection in the mirror. She thought about how disastrously the ball Mrs. Wessham held went for her. Everything that could have gone wrong did; beginning with her seeing Lord Ashworth again. She looked at herself and thought about how very much he had changed from the man she once knew. His hair was already beginning to gray just a little, and he had put on some weight. Tears formed in her eyes and she struggled to control her emotions. She thought about what had transpired between them and closed her eyes. She forced all thoughts of the man from her mind and turned instead to thinking on Mr. Fitzwilliam. She had hoped that he would change his mind and attend the ball, but he did not. Finally, feeling ill, she asked Charles if the carriage could be called to take her to Windham House where she spent the rest of the evening alone in her room, considering the conversation she last had with Mr. Fitzwilliam. She realized she was unkind in the remarks she said about Kitty Bennet. Kitty was completely embarrassed by her mother’s actions that day, and the expression on her face and the mortification in her eyes spoke of it. She sighed heavily as she thought as to why she said those things. Why did she fall back to gossiping and being cruel when Owen was attempting to spend time with her? She looked at herself and whispered softly, “Because it frightened you,” she finally admitted. “He was paying you special attention, and the idea of getting close to someone I could actually care about leaves me feeling…” she thought about it for a moment, then as tears shone in her eyes, she whispered, “Vulnerable.”

  Caroline sighed again and pulled out a piece of paper from her drawer and picked up her quill. She considered what to say, and then proceeded to write a note to Mr. Fitzwilliam.

  Mr. Fitzwilliam,

  I do hope this note finds you well. I know it is highly unusual for me to be writing to you in this way, but I feel compelled to do so. When we last spoke, you brought to my attention how very undeserving of my remarks Miss Kitty Bennet were, and you were right. It was unkind of me to ridicule the lady in such a way. To you, my behavior must have seemed very disingenuous after only having previously told you that I was attempting to avoid speaking ill of others. I have no excuse for my abominable conduct, Mr. Fitzwilliam, except to say that when I am struggling with my own dark thoughts, I tend to fall back on old habits far more often than I wish to. I am embarrassed by my behavior and truly sorry for having offended you. Regrettably, I find I have not vanquished all those past memories that haunt me still. I find that even in writing this letter to you, I struggle with opening myself up too much for fear of allowing myself to feel too deeply what your good opinion of me truly means to me.

  In truth, I find that I have come to value your friendship a great deal, Mr. Fitzwilliam, and would be very sorry if my careless words have caused me to lose it.

  Kindest Regards,

  Miss Caroline Bingley

  Caroline finished the letter and addressed it before walking over and ringing for the servant. While she waited, she went to her ret
icule and retrieved a few pennies. Moments later came a knock at her door, and she called out, “Come in.”

  “You rang the bell, Miss Bingley?” Howard asked as he stepped inside, leaving the door open.

  “Yes Howard,” she said as she passed the letter to him. “Would you please ask one of your most reliable servants to see that this letter is delivered to Mr. Fitzwilliam within the hour?” she said as she handed him three pennies. “It is very important that it be delivered directly to Mr. Fitzwilliam, and no one else.”

  “Right away, Miss Bingley,” he said as he turned to leave.

  Caroline called out to him. “Howard, could you please not speak to anyone else about this, and ask the servant to do the same? I would like to keep this discrete, please.”

  “Of course, Miss Bingley,” he said as he left and closed the door behind him.

  Caroline was unsure of how Mr. Fitzwilliam would respond to her letter, or if he even would, but she could just not bear the thought of him thinking ill of her. She looked at the clock and decided she would attend the concert with her brother after all. She decided it would be better for her to remain occupied than to sit and be anxious over how Mr. Fitzwilliam would receive her letter.

  Darcy walked into his bedchamber to find Elizabeth sitting at her writing desk. “whom are you writing to?” he inquired of her.

  Elizabeth looked up from what she was doing, “I am attempting to write a note to Lady Fitzwilliam, but find that I am having a great deal of difficulty.”

  Darcy walked over and kissed her on the top of the head, “Why would that be, my darling?”

  Elizabeth considered her conversation with Caroline, “I spoke with Caroline only a little while ago about inviting Lord Ashworth to Georgiana’s coming out ball. She was rather annoyed at first and told me she could be of no help, and that I should write your aunt about the matter.”

  Darcy shrugged his shoulders, “Well, seems to me the letter should be very easy to write then,” he suggested. “Just inquire if she believes he should be considered or not.”

  Elizabeth furrowed her brow, “You do not know the rest of it,” she told him. “Before leaving the room, Caroline suddenly stopped and told me that everything she had just said was untrue and that she would not invite Lord Ashworth. She compared his character and conduct to that of Mr. Wickham, and finished by saying if we should invite him, she could not attend.”

  Darcy narrowed his eyes, “Tell me, Elizabeth, what did you make of what she said and how she responded to you?” he asked her. “Do you believe she is attempting to deceive or manipulate you in some way?”

  Elizabeth shook her head, “No, I do not,” she told him honestly. “Caroline has changed since coming to London with us. I do not mean to say she is all kindness now, but she is perhaps somewhat more agreeable.”

  “You truly believe she has changed, and you do not believe it another ploy on her part?” Darcy asked her.

  Elizabeth arched her brow and sighed, “I do not believe that it is. I cannot explain what has brought about this change in her. It is a puzzle to me still, although according to Jane, Caroline has given me some credit for bringing it about,” she told him. She thought about how upset Caroline looked, and how difficult it was for her to keep her emotions under control as they talked. “No, William, I believe she was sincere in her words,” she told him. “I do not believe we should involve ourselves with such a man as Lord Ashworth.”

  “Is this your advice to me as far inviting him to the ball, or do you believe I should take Miss Bingley’s opinion into consideration in my business affairs as well?” he asked her.

  Elizabeth was a bit surprised by his question, “I would not presume to tell you what to do, William,” she said softly. “Of course, I can only relate what I feel and what Caroline has said to me. If you believe Mr. Fletcher knows best, then you should consider what he has said to you.”

  Darcy took in a small breath and smiled at her, “I value your opinion very highly, Elizabeth. If you do not believe we should invite Lord Ashworth, then there is no need to write to my aunt,” he said as he took the quill pen from her hand and helped her to stand up. He pulled her into his arms and gazed into her lovely warm brown eyes, “As for my business dealings, I shall consider very carefully before I agree to go forward with any business dealings with Lord Ashworth.”

  Elizabeth smiled as she reached up and gently caressed the side of his face, “Thank you, William,” she said softly. “I cannot explain why I feel so uneasy about this man, but knowing you are willing to listen and do not just dismiss my thoughts on the matter proves you to be very forward in your thinking, I believe,” she complimented him.

  Darcy laughed, “A forward thinker is not a description I would have ever considered for myself,” he admitted. “However, you have proven yourself to be a good judge of character, I think. Before I continue any further business dealings with Lord Ashworth, I want to do my best to lay to rest any feelings of unease you have. A closer look at the man’s character is in order, I believe. I shall have Mr. Fletcher make some discrete inquiries on my behalf. Will that help you to feel better about things?”

  Elizabeth reached up on her tiptoes, wrapped her hands around the back of his head and pulled him down into a tender, loving kiss. After a few moments, she pulled back from him and said in a rather breathless voice, “It would indeed, my love.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam sat in his brother’s study sipping a brandy, “I wanted to let you know you were right about my speaking with Miss Bennet. I spoke to her while at her sister’s wedding. I wanted to be sure there was no misunderstanding between us. She is a very remarkable young woman and very perceptive, I think,” he told him.

  “She was not surprised that you only held feelings of friendship for her though, was she?” Owen asked him.

  “No, she was not,” Richard admitted. “In fact, she seemed almost relieved to have me confirm that was the case.”

  “I thought she might be. That is why I suggested that you speak with her,” Owen told him just as a knock came to the door, “Come in,” he called out.

  “A letter has come for you, Mr. Fitzwilliam. The person who delivered it wanted to be sure it was given to you directly. He said it was very important,” George said as he walked over and gave him the letter.

  “Thank you, George,” he replied as he examined the address on the letter.

  “Very good sir. Will there be anything else you need?” George asked.

  “No, that will be all,” he said before the older gentleman left the room.

  Richard could see by the expression on his brothers face he was upset, “What is it, Owen?” he asked him. “Were you expecting some news?”

  He looked over at Richard, “Not exactly,” he said as he sat down. “This is a letter from Miss Bingley,” he commented.

  Richard furrowed his brow in confusion, “Why is Miss Bingley writing you a letter?” he asked him.

  “Because when we were last together, we had a falling out of sorts,” he explained. “She was saying some rather unkind things about Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Darcy’s sister, Miss Catherine Bennet.”

  Richard leaned back in his chair, “Oh,” was all he said.

  Owen looked at him. “That does not surprise you, does it?” he remarked.

  Richard shook his head, “No, not really,” he told him, then quickly added. “What I mean to say is Miss Bingley has improved a great deal since coming to London. Even Mrs. Darcy and Mrs. Bingley have said as much. However, we all know that Miss Bingley can at times have a rather high opinion of herself and an equally sharp tongue.”

  “I will be honest with you, Richard; until the other day, I had not witnessed this behavior you attributed to her for myself,” he told him.

  “And now that you have seen it, has it changed your opinion of the lady?” Richard asked him.

  Owen took in a small breath and considered for a moment, “I am not sure,” he told him. “I have grown rather fond of Miss Bingley, but
the other day, there was a mean-spiritedness in her words that I did not much care for,” he told him.

  “Perhaps she has written to you to offer some excuse for her conduct that day?” Richard suggested.

  Owen placed the letter on the desk, “That is the trouble,” he told him. “If she has written to offer some excuse, what am I to make of it? I mean, you are the one who told me how she carried on with Darcy. How did you describe her actions?” he said, trying to remember his brother’s words.

  “I said she was always praising him and feeding into his ego. I said she was not a genuine person, and that she was very good at pretending to be exactly what she thought he wanted her to be in order to gain his attention,” Richard reminded him.

  “Exactly,” Owen sighed, “So what if she is doing the same with me now?”

 

‹ Prev