by K. T Fisher
"Fucking let me go, that's my woman down there!" I yell. His hand falters for just a moment. In that second, his grip loosens, and without waiting for permission I'm out of there. I drop down to the track and rush over to Eve, dropping to my knees at her side. I hold back my scream of pain as I look down at her, oh god baby.
I'm vaguely aware of Ink and Cowboy talking to the policeman I just left behind, but right now I just don't care. All I care about is Eve, who lays unconscious. There's another policeman at Eve's side, gently checking her over, talking into his radio at the same time.
I grasp Eve's hand, the only part of her I dare touch. It still feels warm, there's still a chance I haven't lost her
"Sir, sir?" I become aware of the policeman trying to talk to me. "I take it you know this lady?"
"She's my woman." I growl in response.
"I need you to stay calm, there's an ambulance on its way and an emergency bike paramedic should be here any time. She's alive, I don't want to move her in case we cause any problems, so I need you to stay calm for me, and just keep talking to her."
I glance over at Eve's face. I can barely see it for the blood all over it. Her hair is half covering her face. I gently draw her hair back. I can see a faint pulse in her neck. I'm checking her over with my eyes as best I can, aside from the visible damage from the fall and landing on the gravel, she looks okay. No obvious breaks, but a nasty bump on the side of her head. "I'm here for you princess, I've got you now, I'll keep you safe." I whisper in her ear, planting the gentlest of kisses on her forehead.
What the fuck is taking the ambulance and the medic so long? No longer have I thought it than a paramedic in biker gear jumps down onto the track next to us. He quickly examines Eve, and tells us the ambulance will be here any moment. Meanwhile the police officer helps him place Eve on a backboard, just to be safe. They're securing her to the board and covering her with a blanket when the ambulance drives straight onto the platform.
***
I've no idea how long the ambulance ride to the hospital took. I just sat in the back numbly holding Eve's hand, praying for her to open those beautiful blue eyes of hers. The ambulance technician was talking the whole time, giving the driver status updates, telling me what he was doing, and yet I didn't hear a word of it. My entire being was focused on Eve. That's until we hit the ER doors.
A nurse kept dragging me away from Eve and I almost lost it till the fat security guard gave me a warning. They wouldn't let me go with her, so I had to go through to the waiting room and check her in. Fuck! This is the woman I love and I struggled to answer their questions. I couldn't tell them her phone number, just her address. I couldn't tell them her date of birth even, just the date of her birthday. I could have told them the color of her eyes is blue, I could tell them she has the cutest little raspberry birthmark just below her tattoo. I could tell them how it feels to draw my hand across her soft skin, or how I am the luckiest guy on earth when she looks straight into my eyes and tells me she's mine. But I can't answer these basic bloody questions. I feel like I know Eve, but apparently not everything.
There's a ruckus at the doorway and Ink, Cowboy and Elle come rushing in. Shit, I'd forgotten all about them.
"Where is she?" Elle cries.
"They won't let me in." I hang my head. "We've got to answer these questions for them, so they can get her checked in." Elle comes to stand beside me, wrapping her arm around me and faces the receptionist.
"Okay, what do you need to know?" She surprises me by knowing most of the answers they need, and where she doesn't she's given them contact information for Eve's mother. The police will go and get her.
We're directed to sit in the waiting area, and we wait, and we wait, and we fucking wait some more. Eve's mother rushes in at some point on the arm of a policeman, but before I can realize who she is, she's gone. They've taken her through the ER doors that they won't let me pass through.
It's another three hours before I see Eve's mother again.
***
Eve
I'm aware of pain throughout my body. Fuck, it feels like I've been hit by a truck. I don't want to open my eyes but someone is calling my name. I turn to the sound and crack my eyes open to see my mother standing at the side of me. Her face is tear stained and she looks like hell.
"Eve, please wake up for me. I'm so sorry, please wake up." I can't remember ever hearing that tone in my mother's voice before. I'd swear that’s affection I can hear. I fight to open my eyes a little more and she notices. "Thank god! Oh baby, I'm so glad you're awake. I've been so worried about you."
"What happened?" I whisper.
"You had an accident. The Doctors are checking you over now." No shit Sherlock. I'd guessed that it was an accident from the pain I'm in, but she doesn't seem too keen to tell me what happened. I struggle to find a memory to let me know what caused this. The last thing I remember is holding Elizabeth's hand as we walked to nursery.
"Elizabeth!" I scream and my mother rushes over.
"She's safe, she's okay, she wasn't with you. Sharon fetched her from nursery and took her back to hers for now."
Relief floods through my body, but I still don't know how I ended up here. My head is fuzzy and I can't focus properly. The curtain opens and a young doctor walks into the room. She doesn't look any older than me, early twenties maybe. She's smartly dressed under her open white coat. "Now then Eve, I hear you've been through the wars. Let's have a look at you." She flashes a light in my eyes, asks me what feels like a million questions, prods and pokes me all over and finally stands back looking serious.
"We're a little concerned about the blood loss Eve; can you tell me when your last period was?" I try and think back. I honestly can't remember. I know I didn't have one in Australia. What's she asking me this for? I shake my head as my answer. "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" I almost laugh at her question. I can't remember the last time douche bag touched me, and I'm on the pill anyway.
"I'm on the pill, I can't be pregnant." I answer confidently.
"Have you had unprotected sex at all?" The doctor asks the question so clinically it makes sex sound like a dirty act.
"Well, yes. Over the last three or four weeks I have, but I'm on the pill." I whisper. It's not possible. I can't be pregnant with Gabe's baby.
The doctor looks at me in sympathy, I'm not sure why. "Eve, we think you might have been pregnant. An early pregnancy, and that your body is aborting the fetus."
I want to laugh at her, to tell her how stupid that sounds, but there's a part of me that hears the word pregnant and rejoices. Then I hear the rest of her words and am hit by grief. I might have been pregnant but I'm not now.
The doctor sends me off for a scan. It's a humiliating and scary experience. Because they believe it was an early pregnancy they have to do an internal scan which looks like a bloody vibrator, covered in a condom. The technician looks at the screen, and coldly and clinically informs me that there was a pregnancy, but that it is no longer viable. How can she use language like that, that's my fucking baby she's talking about, not a lab experiment! I'm wheeled back to the ER, tears streaming down my face, and my mother trying to console me. There's nothing she can say that will make this any better, and I turn on her.
"Tell me what the fuck happened! What did I do, why have I lost my baby?" I scream the words at her. I know it's not her fault, but that doesn't change what's happened.
"The policeman told me the witnesses said someone stumbled against you at the station, and you were too close to the edge of the track sweetie. You fell back and landed on the track, it was quite a drop." I hear her voice quiver a bit at the end.
"What was I doing at the station?" Then I remember. I remember going to meet Elle, being excited to see her again, and then I remember seeing her on the bridge and Gabe was with her.
"Where's Gabe? I need Gabe." I sob. My mother looks at me confused. She has no idea who Gabe is. "My friends were at the station, that's who I was supposed to
be meeting. Please go find them for me, they must be frantic. Please mum, I need Gabe." My mother looks unsure, I can tell she doesn't want to leave me yet, no matter how much I beg and plead.
Just when I think she's about to cave, the doctor comes back into the cubicle. "Right Eve, I've got the results here. I'm sorry but it looks like you were in the very early stages of pregnancy, the fall caused some damage to the placenta. It's too late to save the baby I'm afraid. What it means is that we need to take you up to theatre, we need to perform a D&C to make sure we remove all traces of the placenta so you don't get an infection." She carries on explaining the procedure to me, the reason for it, but all I can hear is that they are scraping my baby away from inside of me. I can't believe this is happening to me.
"An orderly will be along to take you up to the gyno ward and they'll take care of you from now on. There's a slight risk of concussion so we'd like to keep you in overnight after the procedure, just to keep an eye on you." She pats my hand and leaves the cubicle.
My mother is sobbing at my side. She looks at the grief on my face and comes over to pull me into a hug. "I'll get you settled on the ward then I'll go see if I can find your friends." She offers. I don't say anything in return, I can't think of what to say. The doctor’s words have left me mute.
Friends... Is that all Gabe is to me? A friend? Why is he here anyway, did he decide he did have feelings for me after all? In fact why are Ink and Cowboy here as well? Something's not right about this whole situation. How the hell do I tell Gabe I was pregnant, and that I lost it because of a stupid fall, a silly accident? How can life be so cruel as to give me a gift like that and then take it away in a second?
The orderly appears. He's a cheerful guy who chatters away to my mother as he wheels me along the bland white corridors and into a lift. He's telling me they'll soon get me comfortable on the ward and take care of me. Yeah, how will I ever be comfortable again knowing I killed Gabe's baby with an act of stupidity.
***
Gabe
I've sat. I've stood. I've walked. I've paced. I've even been outside and hit my fist against a brick wall, but there's been no news of Eve. Then her mother appears. She looks like she's an old woman, although I know she's only middle aged. Her face is tear stained and she looks grief stricken. She approaches the reception desk and has a short conversation with them, and then the receptionist points her over in our direction.
I stand. Fuck, please don't let it be bad news.
"Are you Gabe?" She asks. She doesn't look me up and down and scrutinize me as I'd have expected. Her voice is so weary I doubt she's got the energy left. She just looks at me.
"Yes, I'm Gabe. You're Eve's mother? How is she?"
"I think we'd better go sit down, seems I have a lot to tell you." She gestures to the hard plastic chairs where we were just sitting.
Eve's mother spends the next few minutes reassuring us that Eve will be fine, but then the bottom drops out of my world with her next words. She tells us that Eve hadn't realized she was pregnant. It happened while she was in Australia, and sadly the accident caused her to lose the baby.
"Eve was pregnant?" Elle gasps. At least she could find the words; I'm fucking lost for them. I sat there numb. If Eve was pregnant it must have been mine. I know she wasn't with anyone else whilst she was out in Australia. We made a baby, half me and half her. And now it's gone, just like that.
"Accident?" Cowboy questions, a puzzled look on his face.
"The policeman told me there was an accident at the station. Someone stumbled into Eve and she fell onto the track." Holy fuck! They don't know that this was deliberate? "My daughter seems quite desperate to see you all, but you're going to have to wait until she's out of surgery, so while we wait why don't you fill me in on just what's been happening. How come you three are here the day after she gets home?" Eve's mother is obviously a smart lady. Her eyes linger on me.
As much as I want to see Eve and hold her right now, I know they won't let us in for hours yet, so taking in a deep breath I sit back and tell Eve's mother everything that happened while her daughter was in Australia.
***
Eve
I hate coming round from anesthetic. I feel dopey, my mouth is dry and it feels like something died in there. I'm guessing I'm due some pain killers as I hurt everywhere, but nowhere more than my stomach.
I place my hand below my stomach, remembering where Elizabeth's tiny baby bump used to sit, and I whisper sorry to my lost child. Sorry seems so inadequate really.
The door cracks open and I see Gabe peering into the room. My heart lifts for a moment at the sight of him. God, I need my man right now. The thought and elation are fleeting though, as guilt is a much stronger emotion, and it smacks me right in the face as he enters the room, smiling.
"Princess. Thank fuck you're okay. I've been going crazy out here waiting for you to wake up." He moves to the side of the bed, leaning down to place one of his gentle kisses on my forehead. I need him to grab me and hold me tight, not be gentle with me. I'm guessing he's not going to want to know me in a few minutes when I tell him what I have to say.
"Gabe, sit down a minute, there's something I've got to tell you." I look down at my hands; my fingers are twisting and knotting together. Gabe spots this, gently prizing my hands apart and holding them in his own.
"Princess, it's okay. I know, your mom told me. I'm sorry I let you go, this is all my fault." I can see grief in his face, but I'm not sure if it's for the baby, or guilt.
"How is this your fault? I'm the one who fell off the fucking platform." I hiss. I'm angry, I know I shouldn't be angry at Gabe, but right now he's the one that's here and the one I need to vent on.
"Fell? Princess, it was fucking Satan that pushed you off! He's been following you." I see a look of guilt on his face. I don't understand, I must still be drowsy or something because I'm sure he just said Satan pushed me off. That couldn’t be true.
"But Satan's in jail. This is all over." I whimper.
"No princess, the police fucked up somehow. His lawyer got the charges dropped and he was on the same plane here as you. I've been scared out of my fucking wits for the past few days trying to get here and keep you safe. Speaking of which woman, you need to make a habit of making sure you have your phone on. When I do get here, I had to stand there and fucking watch while that psycho pushed you in front of a fucking train!" There's a hard edge to his voice now. Restrained anger tensing up his body.
"But the police told my mother it was an accident, someone stumbled into me."
"I know, that's what the witnesses thought, but I saw him. I'm the only one who saw him. If I try and explain it to them it will cause so much fucking aggro. I need to stay here with you, not answer their fucking pointless questions. I've got people on it, the club's called in some favors. We'll take care of it." His hand drifts slowly down the side of my face, a gentle caress.
"Right now, you need sleep. I need you to get better for me. I'll let your mom know you're okay." I look over to the door, half expecting to see her. "She's at home with Elizabeth, don't worry. She didn't think you'd want your girl to see you like this."
I look down at myself, understanding. I can't see my face right now, but what I can see of my body is bruised and battered, numerous grazes and ugly purple and yellow contusions. He's right; I don't want Elizabeth seeing me like this.
Gabe holds my face with both hands, placing the lightest of kisses on my lips. I don't want light, I want Gabe to give me one of his deep, toe curling kisses, but I guess he doesn't feel like that anymore. Not after what I've done to him, losing our baby.
He sits by my side, holding my hand in his, and stays like that until I finally drift off to sleep.
Chapter Eight
Eve
I open my eyes slowly to see Gabe sitting at the end of the bed. He’s still in his leathers. His dark blonde hair is messy from raking his hands through it so many times. I look around the bright, clinical room, it's plain and bori
ng and it makes me groan, still in the hospital I see. I must have fallen asleep again because my head is still a throbbing mess. Looking at the sad expression in Gabe's crystal blue eyes reminds me why I'm here and what I've lost. What we lost. Holding back my tears I manage a weak smile which he returns. I notice movement out of the corner of my eye. It's Elle, and from the look of it she's just woken up too. Her blonde hair is still tidy, just a little messy on one side where she was leaning on the arm of the chair, her green eyes are red rimmed and she has a cute little crease on her cheek from sleeping. When she sees that I'm awake her eyes widen. I notice her bottom lip tremble. Gabe gives me a soft kiss, winking at me before getting off the bed. "I'll give you two sometime alone."
I nod gratefully, watching as he walks out of the room. That confident swagger of his is so sexy; my eyes gravitate to his firm ass. Damn that man is hot. Here I am looking like a piece of crap lying in this hospital bed. God, I feel so confused! I thought Satan was arrested yet it seems he's free and still wants to kill me, thank fuck he wasn't successful. Then I realize that he killed my unborn baby instead. The baby I didn't even know I was carrying! I never got the chance to celebrate my pregnancy, that was taken away from me the instant Satan pushed me from the platform.
