What should she say? What could she say? After all, Jared’s daughters were right there. Children had great hearing and long memories.
Something about his mother’s intent green gaze made honesty essential between them. “We don’t really know each other very well. In fact—” She stopped, realizing she was about to say too much.
“In fact?” Gloria urged her on.
“There’s a lot about me that Jared doesn’t know, just as I’m sure there’s a lot I don’t know about him.”
“Time could take care of that,” his mother assured her.
“Possibly.”
Gloria appraised her for a few more moments. “My son has walled himself off to everyone but his daughters until now. When he looks at you, I see a change in him that wasn’t there before.”
Emily couldn’t help but ask, “What kind of change?”
“Curiosity, appreciation, possibility. A small crack where a little bit of light is glimmering through. He needs a personal life. He hasn’t had one since his marriage.”
“I don’t think he wants one,” Emily admitted.
“You could be right. On the other hand, the crackle I see between the two of you might be bigger than both of you.”
Crackle. Sizzle. Sexual chemistry. Even if they had that, did Emily want an affair? She’d never had affairs. She’d had one serious relationship—with Richard.
She had so much baggage. Sending a check to Richard every month was a responsibility she took seriously. It would take her years to cover the money he’d siphoned from his pension. What man would want to take that on? Not to mention the way Jared might feel when he knew the circumstances behind her legal bills.
“How old are you?” Gloria asked.
“I’m thirty-two.”
“Have you ever been married?”
“Yes, I’m divorced.” She expected to see judgment in Gloria’s eyes, maybe disapproval. To her surprise, she didn’t see either.
“And Jared is forty-three, also divorced. I imagine you both have history that needs to be put to rest.”
“Sometimes history can’t be put to rest.” Not when it was ongoing, Emily thought…not when she felt as if she had to hide it.
“Would you do something for me, Emily?”
“What?”
“If you have feelings for Jared, don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.”
Courtney suddenly scrambled off the chair and placed the magazine into her grandmother’s lap. “See the horse? I want to ride a horse.”
“Me, too,” chimed in Amy.
Emily was glad for the interruption.
While the girls chatted with their grandmother again, she had time to think about their conversation. The last thing she’d expected to find in west Texas was romance. Yet Jared was the type of man she’d always dreamed of meeting someday. He was sexy and caring and a wonderful dad.
There were so many things he didn’t know about her.
When Jared returned to the room a short time later, Emily was sitting in the chair with Courtney on her lap. Amy was standing at her grandmother’s bed, singing a song she’d learned in preschool.
Emily noticed Jared stop in the doorway, taking in the scene. His gaze was gentle as it rested on his daughters. But when it settled on his mother, he frowned and a distant look came into his eyes. Emily had noticed that same distance in his tone when he mentioned his mom, and couldn’t help but wonder what had caused it. Gloria Madison seemed to be a kindly, friendly woman. What had transpired between mother and son to cause resentment? Was that what Jared felt toward his mother?
Crossing to Gloria’s bed, he said, “I think two little girls are more than ready for bed.”
“We’re not sleepy, Daddy,” Courtney told him, and then yawned.
He laughed. “Even if you’re not sleepy, Grandma needs her rest, too.”
“It was so good to see you.” Gloria gave both Amy and Courtney hugs. To Emily she said, “I’ll be going to a rehab facility tomorrow, but I’d love to see you again.”
“I enjoyed talking to you. I’ll visit you if I can.” The truth was, Emily had missed her mother ever since she’d lost her. And Gloria with her kindness and honest observations was someone Emily would like in her life.
Ten minutes later, Emily sat in Jared’s sedan beside him as he pulled into the driveway at his home. Courtney had fallen asleep in her car seat and Amy was almost there.
“I can help you get the girls to bed,” she offered, not ready to leave him yet, feeling more and more drawn to Amy and Courtney.
“When I bring them home alone and they fall asleep, I have to wake them up. I don’t like to leave one of them in the car while I take the other inside.”
“I can understand that.”
“On the other hand, I don’t want you to feel obliged that you have to do anything.”
“I don’t feel obliged. When we’re not at work, Jared, you’re not my boss. We’re just two people. If you’re afraid you’re taking advantage of me, you’re not. I want to be here.”
She felt him studying her in the darkness.
“All right. Let’s take them inside.”
As Emily carried Amy and Jared carried Courtney, she felt a closeness to him. They didn’t seem to need words to establish understanding. It was almost as if words would muddle up the connection they had. Yet Emily knew the time was coming when she’d have to tell him everything about her. That idea scared her.
Emily helped Jared change the girls into their night-clothes, feeling motherly. She liked the feeling. After she pulled Amy’s sheet up to her chin, she kissed her on the forehead. It just seemed the natural and right thing to do. Jared did the same with Courtney. Both girls curled on their sides, Courtney with Stardust, Amy with a favorite teddy bear.
Emily and Jared walked down the hall into the great room. There she said, “I’d better go. We both have early days tomorrow.”
Jared approached her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “You’ve been a great help ever since my mom’s accident.”
“You didn’t want me to go along tonight, though, did you?”
“You made the visit easier for Amy and Courtney. But, no, I guess I didn’t want you to get more involved in my life.”
Her expression must have shown the hurt she felt at his words.
He grimaced. “That didn’t come out right.”
“I think it did.”
“Emily, damn it all,” he swore. “Every time I’m near you, I want to kiss you. In the hospital bathroom I wanted to tug you into my arms. Damn it,” he said again, his arms enfolding her. “I’ve wanted to do this all night.” He bent his head to hers and kissed her.
Their lips melded together. His tongue invaded her mouth. He was hungry, demanding, possessive. This time, he didn’t restrain his need and she responded to it, seeking the strokes of his tongue, kissing him back for all she was worth.
He backed her up to the sofa and they fell onto it, holding on to each other, breaking the kiss and coming back for more.
Emily liked everything about being with Jared. She loved touching him. She loved the feel of her fingers laced in his thick hair. She loved exploring the taut skin at his neck.
Jared groaned and slid his hands under her top. When his thumbs found her nipples and teased them through her bra, she thought she’d explode. She was lost in what they were when they were together like this. But he must have been aware of reality all along…because he let his hands drop away and slip out from under her top.
Moments later he tore his lips from hers and muttered, “We’ve got to stop.”
“Why?” She couldn’t believe she asked it, but she needed to know.
He looked sad as he stroked her face and pushed wayward curls from her forehead. “Because we don’t want to make a mess of each other’s lives.”
She opened her eyes and stared into his. “Why are you so sure that would happen?”
“I just am.”
“No, I
don’t think you’re sure. You just don’t want to open yourself up to the possibility. You’ve been hurt and you don’t want to take the chance that will happen again. I’ve been hurt, too, Jared. And yes, the possibility of getting hurt again scares me. But I feel a connection to you.”
“A connection…or an attraction?” he asked bluntly.
“Both. Don’t you feel both?”
“Right now, I only know what my body’s telling me. You’re a sexy woman and I haven’t touched a woman since my marriage ended. That’s a pretty powerful driving force. I’m not going to let it drive me to do something we’ll both regret.”
She pushed herself up from the sofa. “Don’t think for me, Jared, and don’t make decisions for me. If you want to back off for your own reasons, that’s fine. But don’t make the mistake of thinking you know what’s going on in my head.” Or in my heart, she added to herself.
He stood now, too, but she didn’t want to see the look in his eyes that told her he thought this was all about sex.
She grabbed her purse from the coffee table where she’d dropped it and headed for the door.
“Emily…”
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Jared. At least there, we know exactly how to treat each other. We know exactly what we have to do.”
She left Jared’s house, his mother’s words echoing in her head. Don’t give up on him if he seems to push you away.
To do that, she’d have to be more vulnerable than she’d ever been before. She wasn’t sure being that vulnerable was a risk she wanted to take.
“I’m going to tell Grady I’m pregnant tonight,” Francesca said the next evening. Emily had just walked in the door as her friend was getting ready to go out.
“Where are you meeting him?” Emily asked, assessing Francesca’s western-cut tan pantsuit. Her long, straight brown hair curved over her shoulder. She looked fabulous.
“At the saddle shop.”
“Alone?”
“Hopefully. This isn’t the kind of news I’d want to give him in public. The only thing is—”
“Are you afraid something else will happen?” Emily guessed, and when her friend’s cheeks turned red, she knew she’d guessed correctly.
“I don’t want a relationship, Emily. I’m not ready for one. And things would never work out between us. We’re much too different.”
Emily wondered how many times her friend had told herself that and if she was using it as an excuse. Francesca was just downright afraid to get involved with a man again.
Francesca checked her watch. “I should be going, but tell me how things went with you and Jared today. You were upset when you came home last night.”
“He was at the hospital most of the day. I didn’t see him. Maybe that’s good.”
“Is it?”
“I don’t know. When did life get so complicated?”
Francesca shook her head. “When chemistry turned into more than a science experiment. See you later.”
Emily had to smile at her friend’s assessment of the situation. She took off her jacket and was about to hang it in the closet when the telephone rang. Crossing to the cordless phone beside the sofa, she picked up the handset and checked the caller ID. It was Jared.
“Hello,” she said, not knowing what to expect.
“Emily, it’s Jared.”
“I know.”
“What would we do without caller ID?” he teased lightly. “At least you picked up. That’s a good sign.”
“A good sign for what?”
The silence on his end almost made her wish she hadn’t asked. Then he replied, “I’ve been thinking about last night. I couldn’t get it off my mind all day.”
She waited.
“You were right. There is a connection between us and I’m not sure it’s one I want.”
“That’s why you called?”
She heard him blow out a breath. “I’m not doing this very well. Just let me say I’m not calling because I need help with the girls.”
“I don’t mind helping you, Jared.”
“I know. But now I’d like to do something that doesn’t involve them.”
Was he going to ask her on a date? “Like what?”
“There’s a charity banquet and dance at the Rayburn Hotel on Saturday evening.”
“Yes, I know. I was planning to go with friends.”
“How would you like to go with me instead?”
Actually, she’d been planning to tag along with Vince and Tessa.
“Would your friends mind if you changed your plans?” he cut in before she could think it through.
“No, I don’t suppose they would. I’d been planning to sit with Tessa Rossi and her husband, Vince. Maybe the four of us could share a table, unless you had something else in mind.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“If you’d rather sit with Dr. Pratt or Dr. Layman…” Those were the two men who shared Jared’s practice.
“Larry Pratt isn’t going, and Tom is sitting with the hospital board. The thing is, Emily, I’m not asking you because this is a hospital function.”
“Why are you asking me?” she inquired softly, not wanting to put him on the spot but needing to know.
“I’d like to spend some time with you alone, away from my daughters, away from the practice. I realized—” He stopped. “I realized what I said last night might have hurt you, and I never meant to do that. Although it’s no excuse, I haven’t had a personal life for a long time.”
“So this is a date?”
“Yes, it’s a date. Are you accepting?”
“I’m accepting.”
“Good.”
She thought she could hear a smile in his voice. Thank goodness she had the rest of the week to think about what to wear. She might have to go shopping!
“That’s settled, then. Dinner starts at eight. I’ll pick you up around seven fifteen. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine.”
“I’m glad you’re going with me, Emily. I really mean that.”
“I’m glad I’m going, too.”
After he said good-bye and hung up, Emily couldn’t keep from smiling. In fact, she felt like singing. She was definitely going to wait up for Francesca tonight and tell her her news.
Francesca knocked at the door of the saddle shop, her palms sweating. Grady had told her to come around back and park there in the small lot. It was well-lit. She wasn’t afraid of getting mugged.
What was she afraid of?
Seeing Grady again? Feeling the attraction that had tumbled them into intimacy? Here was where it had happened—in his office on the blue-denim couch.
Pushing the images out of her head, she knocked sharply on the door again. There was a dim light inside, a brighter one to the right…in his office.
He opened the door and one look into his deep blue eyes told her he, too, was remembering everything that had happened here. He had coal-black hair that she had run her fingers through. He had broad shoulders that had felt so muscled under her hands. He had a stubbled jaw and that stubble had felt—
“Come on in,” he invited her with a Texas drawl that should have seemed ordinary, but wasn’t.
Her mouth went as dry as the west Texas dirt.
She followed him inside, inhaling the scents of leather, wood, other materials he used for his custom-made saddles. She didn’t pay any attention to the worktables, the bench that Grady had told her his dad had handcrafted for him. Rather she followed Grady into that small lit room.
He went behind his desk and sat in the high-back chair. She didn’t sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Instead she stayed standing. “I won’t take up much of your time.”
He leaned back, making the chair squeak. “Take all the time you want. I’m not really thrilled with returning to the bookwork program on my computer.”
To Grady’s right, a cursor blinked on a ledgerlike screen.
There was no point in making small talk. That wasn’t why she ha
d come. “I’m pregnant.”
The two words hung suspended in the air between them.
“Are you saying the baby’s mine?”
She had never imagined he’d doubt that when she told him. “Of course the baby’s yours. You’re the only man I’ve slept with in a year. But if you don’t believe me, then we don’t have anything to talk about.” She turned, ready to leave, almost eager to leave.
But Grady shot out of his desk chair, was around his desk, and grabbing her elbow. “Hold on there. It was just a question.”
Gazing into his eyes, she realized it was a question he’d had to ask. After all, they didn’t know each other.
“We used a condom,” she said lamely, knowing that form of contraception was usually reliable but not foolproof.
Grady sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. “Yes, we did, but it was a condom I’ve had in my wallet for a while.”
“It could have broken?”
“Possibly. Or you could have gotten pregnant before I put it on.”
She felt heat crawl into her cheeks. There had been foreplay—teasing foreplay as she’d never experienced before.
Completely aware of his hand on her arm, the tingles dancing up and down, she pulled out of his grasp and had to make something clear. “I don’t want anything from you, Grady. We’d already decided seeing each other again would be a mistake. This doesn’t change that.”
“The heck it doesn’t.” His drawl had become more pronounced with each word. “I’m going to want a DNA test after the baby’s born.”
Her heart lurched. She did not want a relationship, especially not with a man who couldn’t trust. The idea of getting involved again, getting penned up, trapped, controlled, almost made her panic.
He must have seen the look in her eye because he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to have this child and raise this child and love this child. But that doesn’t mean you and I have to be…connected.”
“What has you so spooked? You weren’t like this that night.”
No, she wasn’t. That night had been full of wonder and impulse. When she’d met Grady, the chemistry between them had been so strong she hadn’t thought about the next day or a week from that night.
“I’m not spooked. I just don’t want to be involved.”
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