by Chris Lowry
“Um, Moo?” Dawes tried.
The cow’s mooed back, all as one in a giant voice that shook their bones.
“Man, I don’t think they like that. Did you cuss at them or something?”
“I don’t know,” said Dawes. “Maybe we should ask her.”
The Admira-bull marched through the herd, the small human woman by his side.
He tilted his head toward her.
“Moo.”
Her tiny voice carried across the tight circle.
“Humans, gaze in fear at the might of The Herd!”
All the cows mooed again, this time longer and louder.
“Dude,” Dawes said as the sound died out.
“Man,” Carver answered.
CHAPTER
There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide and no escape.
An Apache helicopter makes a distinct sound when flying through the air. The whir of the blades echoes, splitting the air like something alive. A giant insectoid sound made even more distinct by the addition of rockets on the rotors.
The black helicopter whisked across the horizon and bore down on the herd of bulls, cows and lone female human as they slowly surrounded Dawes and Carver.
Two figures dangled on lines hanging from the copter.
The bi-pedal cows stared up at the approaching menace, the bulls snorted and pawed the ground. The human woman watched, her large brown eyes wide with interest.
"Shit," said Dawes.
"Man, you can say that again."
Duke dangled from one line. Nuke the other.
They were employing a variation of a skyhook.
Normally, soldiers would send a balloon in the air and a passing plane or helicopter would hook it. The balloon was attached to a rope, which was harnessed to the soldiers.
They would be yanked off the ground and fly off to safety.
This was not quite like that.
Instead of hooks, Duke and Nuke were attached to the end of the ropes. The helicopter flew in fast and did a grinding, twirling halt on top of Dawes and Carver.
The two super secret soldiers swung in like pendulums, and slammed against the astronauts on the ground. They wrapped their legs around their quarry and lifted them up and over the herd.
The helicopter hit the retro's and zoomed over the horizon, leaving only the shrieks of the terrified men flying through the air the questioning moo's of invading alien cows in Iowa.
THE END
Author's Note:
Come on, you know it's not the end. How can you end like that? What happened to our hapless idiot heroes? Were they rescued or captured? Does Houston have a problem? Will the story end now that the cows have come home? Or will it Cow-tinue in book two BOVINE BLOODBATH - HIGH STEAKS?
I think you know the answer.
Absent a beer delivery, which goes great with grilled steaks (don't judge me), maybe you could leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads if you liked the story. Don’t put a considera-bull effort into it, just a few words.
Chris
What happens when you up the ante on alien invaders? Carver and Dawes spread it thick as they try to wise crack their way to saving the earth. Again.
Grab your copy now and get ready for the release on Dec 18.
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