by Judith Lucci
Her musings led her through the luxurious atrium of the world-famous hospital into the Hospital Café where she ordered a latte and continued to think about her failed marriage. The marriage to Robert had been perfect in the early years, and she still wondered when things had gone wrong. In truth, Alex rarely saw Robert at CCMC and knew little about his personal life. She was curious about Don’s angst toward him. Her intuition suggested that something or someone was involved but she wasn’t sure what it was.
Alex reflected on her meeting with Don as she slowly sipped her coffee. Other physicians at CCMC presented greater legal risks. The hospital's famous vascular surgeon allowed his physician's assistant to perform cardiac surgery and Alex suspected the nationally known cancer physician practiced active euthanasia. She considered these physicians much more dangerous than a few complaints about Robert.
Alex had considered her divorce with Robert prior to accepting employment at CCMC. Their marriage had been over for four years, and their parting was amicable. Much of their difficulty had centered on Alex's decision to go to law school and postpone having children until she established a law practice. Robert, a product of a traditional home, didn't like the idea of a professional wife who worked outside the home. Over the duration of their marriage, their individual lives took separate paths—Robert's in medicine and Alex's in law. The decision to end the marriage was mutual although Alex believed two miscarriages, during her third year of law school, were the major reason Robert divorced her. Robert had wanted her to quit school at the onset of the second pregnancy, but Alex had refused, noting that she was healthy and too close to graduation. Robert had become depressed when she miscarried again. After several months, he announced he was ending the marriage. He moved out of their home shortly afterward and filed for divorce.
She'd been devastated by the divorce but knew it would have been hard build a life with Robert and meet her professional goals. After the divorce and her graduation from UVA law school, she'd accepted an offer from a chain of Catholic hospitals in Houston.
Alex's tenure with the Catholic hospital group had provided her with experience and practice. Her nursing background added depth to her ability to analyze malpractice cases.
Alex mulled over Don's curious question as she looked around the glass atrium. Why did Montgomery want her to fix Robert? Her instinct suggested something was up, some internal political controversy. She made a mental note to speak with Robert soon.
As Alex entered her office suite, she noted that her secretary was late. Just as she finished checking email, her striking blonde bombshell Cajun secretary, Bridgett, who was almost six feet tall in red spiked heels, knocked on her door and came in.
"Happy Monday, Alex," Bridgett sang. "We've got a new complaint for the book. You’re gonna love it."
Alex looked up and smiled as she waited patiently for Bridgett to continue her story.
Bridgett combed her long blonde hair with her fingers and grinned. "Well, the patient's probably a nut bunny, but then what’s new? Anyway, she's got a great story."
Bridgett was dancing with excitement. She couldn’t wait to tell Alex about the new patient complaint. Her blue eyes sparked at the newest adventure in the legal advisor's office. Bridgett loved her job, and she was good at it. She could sell ice to Eskimos in December and had prevented many lawsuits at CCMC by simply listening and supporting families in crises.
Alex laughed. "Is the story as good as the guy who came in for the penile enlargement but wouldn’t wear his weights?"
Bridgett burst into laughter again. "Unbelievable. Yeah, that thing never did work, did it? The surgery would've worked if he'd worn his weights. I mean, you gotta pull that old thing up and out to make it larger, right?" Bridge dissolved again into infectious laughter.
Alex shrugged her shoulders and grinned, "Who knows? To be honest, I don’t know much about penile implants, don’t want to but I do believe that obeying laws of physics would have made the surgery successful.”
Bridgett, still laughing, thumbed through the book as she thought about her answer. The Crescent City Medical Center book of The Craziest Patients Ever was a compilation of the most colorful, unusual, and creative patient complaints known to the medical center. A new entry to the coveted book was an event known and enjoyed by only a few individuals. Colorful stories included complaints from the penis man, a guy who'd forgotten he'd agreed to have his foot amputated and who’d complained later when it was missing, and a woman who had committed her husband to the Pavilion, CCMC's psychiatric facility. Later she sued the hospital for negligence after she signed him out against medical advice. In addition, of course, there was the New Orleans Voodoo Queen who swore the hospital had “taken” her magical powers after surgery. The suit was still active in city court.
Bridgett continued to string Alex along, not telling her the new story until Alex erupted into a fit of impatience.
"Tell me. Don't keep me waiting."
Bridgett hesitated a few more seconds. Finally, she began. ”Well this one is straight out of the Emergency Department...”
“Yeah, and hurry up! You never know when someone will interrupt us around here,” Alex said, as she scanned the outer office.
“Well,” Bridgett continued, “This man came into the ED and told the admitting clerk that he had to see a doctor right away because he couldn’t talk...”
“Who was taking for him?”
“He was talking himself.”
Alex stared at Bridgett uncomprehending. “I don’t get this. What am I missing? How could he not talk if he was talking?” Alex flashed a confused look.
Bridgett grinned. “That’s probably a good question. Well, I guess the clerk didn’t even notice it and sent him back to see a doctor. Then they called in a throat specialist.”
“Terrific,” Alex said sarcastically, shaking her head and smiling. “We have a bunch of rocket scientist clerks over there, don’t we?"
“Yep,” Bridgett replied, “but that’s not new news.”
Alex nodded agreement, “Then what?”
“He saw a doctor, some new guy to the CCMC ED, who kept insisting to the patient that he could talk until the patient just went bonkers. He screamed, yelled, and started to run.”
“And then?”
"The doctor left him alone and raged at the ED admitting clerks. Then he wrote an order for a psych consult. Then the throat surgeon came to see the patient. Then the nurses heard a bunch of screaming and the sounds of stuff breaking coming from the person's room. When they checked the patient, he’d torn up the room, climbed up on the wall-mounted TV, and swung back and forth on the TV while it was still attached to the wall.”
Alex looked at Bridgett, dumbfounded. "What did the nurses do?"
"Called security but the man jumped down from swinging on the TV, ran out of into the lobby, and turned the plants over on the oriental carpeting. Dirt was everywhere. If that wasn’t enough, he turned the water fountain machine upside down on the carpet making an enormous mud slide.”
Alex covered her mouth with her hand, “Don’s gonna have a fit. He just had those carpets installed...”
“You haven’t heard the end of it yet, Alex."
Alex stared at her secretary, her eyes huge, “What else?”
Bridgett was excited, her long red nails clicked against the desk. “He ripped the pictures off the wall and smashed the glass all over the marble floor.” Bridgett dissolved into peals of laughter. “I heard Don almost had a heart attack when they called him.”
“Wow. I bet he just about pooped his pants,” Alex said, thinking this must have occurred just after she had met with him.
"Probably. Anyway, the guy was clearly acting crazy and people were afraid of him and ran away. Lastly, he ran over and turned the coffee wagon over. The marble foyer looks like a black, gritty hell.”
“And the art collection smashed to smithereens. Good Lord, how long did it take CCMC security to get there?”
“All of th
is happened quickly, probably 3 or 4 minutes at tops."
Alex smiled as Bridgett continued.
"The guy was fast! The staff is calling him the “Monkey Man” based on his ability to swing from the TV in the ED. He’s also good at slinging coffee and art.” Bridgett was laughing so hard her big blonde curls were dancing and tears of mascara were streaming from her eyes. “We’ve got some great pictures from cell phones and digitals. Don’s gonna have a fit.”
“You got that right, if he hasn’t already,” Alex said, her face amused. "It's all incredible. He spent millions on that renovation.”
Bridgett looked at Alex sideways. "Well, serves him right. Maybe he should spend that money on his staff and patients.”
Alex nodded and asked, “Does Monkey Man have a regular doctor?”
Bridgett looked at Alex sheepishly, “Yep, Dr. Bonnet."
Alex raised her eyebrows and said sarcastically, "Huh, oh great. Robert’s a surgeon. It’s unusual for a surgeon have medical patients."
Bridgett shrugged her shoulders.
"Well, I need to see him anyway," Alex added, remembering her conversation with Don.
"I think the guy is a charity case, from the clinic where Dr. Bonnet volunteers. Alex," Bridgett said, "There’s lots of rumors about Dr. Bonnet goin’ around. I know people aren't comfortable talking with you about him since he's your ex and all..."
"What rumors?" Alex's voice was sharp, her former good mood gone. She knew Bridgett had good connections on the grapevine, from her twin sister, Angela, a nurse in the emergency room.
"Just that he's been irritable and unpredictable lately, and some of the nurses think he's been drinking when he makes rounds." Bridgett looked at Alex's face and was sorry for repeating the rumor.
Alex's face darkened. "That’s news to me. Keep me posted about our new complaint.” Alex jerked her head toward the door, “I guess I better get to this pile of work." She tried to sound noncommittal, but Bridge could tell she was concerned.
Bridgett walked toward the outpatient surgery department and thought about the constant battles between Alex and Don Montgomery. She couldn't understand how someone couldn't get with Alex. Alex was great, a regular person. She was patient, kind, and a bunch of fun. Part of Alex's beauty was she didn't know she was beautiful. Besides that, she was a real down to earth person. She's not snotty like that uppity female lawyer before her. Thank goodness for that!
Bridgett hoped she hadn’t upset Alex. She felt a pang of guilt for talking to her about Dr. B. Alex is a humble person. I doubt she even thinks of herself as exceptional. She never noticed how people look at her when she walks into a room. She's gorgeous. If anything, Bridgett thought, my boss seems a little shy and unsure of herself. Guess it takes a forever to get over a bad marriage.
Bridgett continued to muse. A divorce from Dr. Bonnet would be hard. Her cousin told her he ran a free surgery clinic in the bayou, saved the arm of a little boy who had been bitten by an alligator, and didn’t even charge the family. He was good to the Cajun community. Dr. Bonnet was good to everyone. Bridgett flipped her blonde hair back and decided she didn't believe the rumors about the handsome surgeon.
After Bridgett left, Alex sat at her desk and pondered her secretary's remarks about Robert. She valued her communication with the nursing staff and was pleased they perceived her as one of them. Her relationship with nursing service had come in handy more than once.
Alex reflected to the times Robert had drunk more than she thought he should. She'd attributed it to the pressures of hospital life and hard work but nothing to worry about. There were a few times when their personal difficulties caused bouts of drinking, particularly after her miscarriage. It depressed her a bit to hear the rumors. Hope they're just rumors, she thought. I don't need this.
Several hours later, Alex had just reviewed a slip and fall case when Bridgett buzzed her to say that Dr. Bonnet wanted to see her.
Within moments, Robert was in her office. "Alex, how good to see you. How are you?"
Alex felt a blush creep up her neck. At 42, Robert was an astonishingly attractive man. He was tall with sandy blonde hair with the slight build of the New Orleans French population. His voice was deep and soft with a subtle Creole accent. His eyes were brown and expressive, kind eyes, she had always thought. Alex immediately stood and offered her hand.
"Robert, how good to see you. It's been a while," Alex said formally.
Robert appraised Alex critically. "It has. This hospital is so big that months go by before I see many of my colleagues. Alex, you look beautiful! New Orleans agrees with you. Tell me about your family. How are Grand and the Congressman? I read in the morning paper that he's here in New Orleans. Business?"
Alex felt a flush come over her again and she could feel the warmth as it moved all the way up and down her body. I can't believe that I'm feeling like this about seeing him. I must look like a teenybopper to him. She was breathless and a little nervous as she responded. "Yes, Granddad’s here. Some big political pow-wow, coalition-building thing with Governor Raccine, I believe. And, Grandmother's doing fine. She broke her hip last September, riding her horse. Fortunately, her fall didn't slow her down much. Still rides every day. She's still managing the family, the Washington house, and the horse farm."
In truth, Alex's grandmother, Kathryn Lee, was the strongest force in her life. Unlike her shy, reclusive daughter, she had an endless strength, yet she was gracious and practical. She had the patience of a saint and the soul of an angel. Grand had served as Alex’s role model all of her life and much of her strength of character and integrity was inherited from Kathryn. Her grandfather often joked that Alex had inherited her grandmother's bad points as well. Congressman Lee insisted that both women were the most stubborn and willful women on earth.
Robert smiled and said, "I miss seeing her. She's quite the lady. How’s the Congressman?"
"The same. You know him—still serving the conservative people of Virginia. He's actively drafting crime, drug, and immigration legislation. He’s opposed to the health care reform act. He’s convinced that it is going to ruin health care as we know it in this country. And, of course, he has his own ideas about health reform—and they don't, as I'm sure you can imagine, complement those of the present administration."
"I can imagine," Robert replied wryly. "I don’t think our views would match but they would serve for some lively conversation. I miss seeing them. Have you seen your grandfather yet?"
"No. He's busy tonight. We’re planning to get together tomorrow afternoon. He's taking the red-eye to Virginia tomorrow night."
"Give him my best. Do you get to the farm much?"
Alex nodded as her blue eyes took on a faraway look as she imagined her grandparents' farm, "Wyndley," located halfway between Richmond and Washington, D.C. in Hanover County, Virginia. After her parents had divorced when she was three years old, Alex had spent most of her childhood at Wyndley with her grandparents and her reclusive mother.
“No, I'm hoping to get up for a long weekend in April or May. Virginia's beautiful in the spring and Grand just bought a new Arabian brood mare. Wyndley's becoming a well-known thoroughbred farm. I need to go more often. It helps me sort through things and get them into perspective."
Robert nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I understand that. That's why I often go over to my summer home in Gulf Shores. I was there last weekend and I'm going this weekend for that very reason... to escape Mardi Gras. The ocean, sun, and a few nights at the Floribama bar will allow me to relax."
Alex's thoughts immediately returned to the rumors of Robert's drinking. They'd spent many evenings 'wasting away' in Gulf Shores, Alabama at the coveted Floribama Lounge, the legendary home of Jimmy Buffet where few people left alert. Of course, the Floribama was gone now, washed away by Hurricane Katrina. “Be careful.”
"Will do. By the way, Don Montgomery said you wanted to see me. What's up?"
Alex looked at him sharply, her paranoia kicking in. "That w
hy you're here? When did you see Don?" Alex was suspicious.
"I saw him last week at a medical staff meeting. He mentioned you wanted to see me. You never called, and today my morning OR schedule was canceled, so I dropped by on the chance you'd be in.”
Alex tingled with anger and suspicion. She felt ambushed. "Did Don give you any idea about why we needed to meet?" Alex's voice was distrustful.
Robert noticed the edge to Alex's voice. "No. Why? What's going on?” Noting the flush on her cheeks, his voice raised, “What! Alex, no games. We go back too far to play games with each other." His voice rang with concern.
Alex's intent was to be professional, and she chose her words carefully. "Don's concerned because we've received three complaints about you in less than six months. One may end up as a malpractice action. He thinks three complaints are too many for that period of time."
Robert just stood there and said nothing.
"Besides, Don likes to micro-manage," she added apologetically.
Robert ignored Alex's dig at Don Montgomery. He scowled at her, his voice reserved and formal. "I want to be clear here. I assume the action you're speaking of is the one where the elderly gentlemen with cancer developed a post-operative infection and died following colon surgery."
Alex nodded and Robert continued, "I warned the patient, the family, and the oncologist of this risk. He was a poor candidate because of his battered immune system and he was a sitting duck for a massive infection." Robert stopped for a moment and reflected. He shook his head sadly, thinking of the man's prolonged and painful death. "I'm not the only physician named. You should be able to defend that claim. You are a UVA lawyer! What else?”
Alex flinched at Robert’s sarcasm, and her own stress began to increase as she felt her heartbeat pick up. "Let me pull the files. I can't recall the other two off the top of my head.” As she left her office, her gut tightened and the nausea began to mount. She had a sick feeling. Something's going on, she thought. What the hell is going on? He’s freaked. This isn't the confidant, brilliant, and self-assured surgeon I used to know. Alex took several minutes to compose herself and review the files before returning to her office.
