"Seriously, Laney?"
"What? Come on, I gotta keep it lively."
"I know, but every time…"
"Hey, you get to touch sexy injured athletes all day, you don't need humor to keep your life interesting. I, on the other hand, have chosen a life that keeps me up to my neck with lady bits all day. I like to mix it up a bit."
"If I recall correctly, you are perfectly happy with spending your private time with lady bits, too, so how can you complain…?"
Laney washed her hands at the sink and looked back at Jenna over her shoulder, "I never take my work home with me, I keep those particular lady bits separate — thank you very much. Plus, I don't limit myself to ladies, so I have my bases covered. Besides, at least I have a personal life. How's your dry spell coming along?"
Jenna blushed and quickly changed the subject back to mundane complaints about hating the cold weather, because she did not want to talk about any spells — dry or wet.
Lying back, she tried to ignore the discomfort going on in her southern hemisphere as Laney went through her series of procedures for the exam.
It had been a handful of days since she'd lost her mind and rubbed herself against Wyatt as if she were trying to test the flammability of their clothing fibers. Yet, she still couldn't sort out her feelings. Besides the fact that he was totally wrong for her, she had only just delivered a consult on his health. It was true that their limited medical relationship was over, but even if the ethical lines in this instance were fuzzy, there was no denying that entering into a relationship would appear highly improper. She was at a stage in her career where she needed to be above reproach.
With each logical consideration she made against pursuing anything with him, a powerful — and impractical — thought popped up in her mind, and that was her intense need to touch him again and explore this draw he had on her. No one had interested her in this way in such a long time, and it was impossible to ignore him. He'd tried to contact her with a couple voicemails and a text, but so far she had ignored them. She didn't know what to say, even though he was occupying her mind every day.
Wyatt wasn't making it easy on her either. Whether it was a funny text or a picture of a restaurant he wanted to take her to, he just wouldn't let up. It was all starting to wear her down, but she'd made it this far without giving up, she could go a little longer.
"Jenna, your pelvic exam looks good. I'm just going to feel your stomach and do a breast exam, and then we'll be done."
"Great, thanks, Laney."
"You're welcome. So how's work? Have you talked to your boss about that fellowship?" Laney asked, as she pressed on Jenna's stomach and made her way to her breasts.
"I did. It didn't go very well. You know Richard, he likes to act like he's everybody's dad. He just said…"
Laney's face turned very serious and Jenna suddenly felt nauseated.
"Laney, what's up?"
"Jenna, have you been doing your home breast self-exams?" Laney asked seriously, moving her hands to the other breast and then to Jenna's armpit.
"Yes," Jenna answered, with a bit more confidence than she felt. "Maybe not for a couple months, but yes, I generally do. Let me think…"
How long has it been? I try to be so good about this. Oh God, it's like when the dentist asks if you've been flossing. You always say yes, but can you really remember every time? And Aubrey loves to hog the bathroom… Dammit, focus Jenna!
Laney started examining Jenna's right breast again, and then the left…and the crease between her eyebrows worried Jenna.
"Jenna, you've got a few concerning lumps here."
Jenna sat upright and suddenly felt dizzy. All of the humor was gone from Laney's lighthearted demeanor.
"I'm going to refer you to an oncologist. I'll want you to go ahead and have an ultrasound and mammogram, too, but I don't want to take any chances here."
All previous distracting thoughts of Wyatt quickly left Jenna’s mind as she started to panic internally. This cannot be happening to me.
"Of course. I understand." And she did, all too well.
Laney sat down at her desk and started jotting down information while Jenna yanked the gown down across her suddenly shaky body.
"I'm going to send you to Dr. Raj Kannan. He's the absolute best. He is in pretty high demand, but he should make accommodations for another physician, and he's a friend of mine, so drop my name like it's hot, okay, Jenna?"
"What? Oh yes, I've got it. I appreciate it."
Jenna felt as though she were a mile above the ground. Everything was quiet and hollow — so disorienting.
Laney stood in front of her and went on, her lips moving, though Jenna could only barely hear her.
"Jenna, you know most of these lumps turn out to be benign. Just nature's way of being an asshole and keeping us on our toes…but with your family’s history…"
"I know, we can't take any risks."
"Right, come on, hop on down and let me get his information for you."
Jenna nodded and slid her body to the floor, but her feet were numb and she just had to hope she'd find her way home.
Jenna walked into her apartment still on autopilot after her appointment with Laney. She had to get a series of tests done and then wait a couple days to get in to see Dr. Kannan for more poking and prodding. Going to an oncologist right away was aggressive, but no one wanted to take any shortcuts with a doctor, let alone one whose mother died of complications from a catastrophic and particularly challenging form of breast cancer at almost her exact age.
The holiday season made everything slower and more difficult, though Jenna felt like she wanted to put it all off for a while — maybe forever.
She threw her coat and purse down in the living room and made her way to her bed, only to find Tea on it, sprawled on her back, her massive head of hair lying like a beautiful halo across the pillow.
Her body was flopped on top of the duvet, and brochures and bridal magazines were strewn around her like wedding rice.
Jenna rolled her eyes slightly at Tea's position and said sarcastically, "Is it Southern lady drama hour in my apartment? Let me guess, have you 'taken to your bed, Miss Scarlett?'" Jenna teased, invoking the name of the original Southern drama queen. Like many women from the South, Tea had a tendency to be pretty emotional, and it always left Jenna at a bit of a loss.
"No, Jenna, I've taken to your bed."
"What happened?"
"I've started to plan the wedding. Griffen got really excited, which was great. Then he said he wanted me to take his name and that he planned to adopt Johnny, too. It was so sweet, but…"
"Wow, he just went for it all right out of the gate, huh?"
"Exactly."
"Did he say why?"
"No, and it was so much to have to digest all at the same time, I just… I wanted a little break. I didn't want to worry him, so I headed over here." Tea closed her eyes until Jenna sighed and flopped down beside her.
"Are you okay, Jenna?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"What else is new?" Tea grumbled at her.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You never want to talk about your own things, Jenna."
"That's not true."
"It sure is. You pushed me to open up and move on with my life. You tell Aubrey to be honest and open about things, but you won't let us ask you anything. You've always been closed off on your own stuff, but you push, push, push everybody else. Maybe we have a diagnosis for you once in a while, Doc."
"Don't call me that," Jenna grunted out at her, unable to deny what she said, but still angry regardless.
Tea and Jenna were lying on the bed with their arms crossed and faces looking bitter and angry when Aubrey bounded into the room.
"Hey, guys, what are we doing?" she asked.
"Tea is being annoying."
"No, I'm not. Jenna is being pissy, but don't ask her about it."
"Thanks for the recap, I think," Aubrey said,
with a confused frown.
"Point is," Tea answered, "we have taken to our bed."
"Oh, fun, me too! Let me in." Aubrey leapt in beside them until the bed bounced them up and down.
"What's bothering you?" Tea asked.
"Nothing, I just don't want to be left out." Aubrey bounced on the bed merrily until the whole mattress jostled beneath them. "So… Why do you claim Tea is being annoying, Jenna?"
"I'm not being annoying," Tea interrupted. "Jenna just doesn't like that I'm trying to make her talk about what's bothering her." Tea sighed deeply before adding, "I am upset, though. That's true."
Jenna softened and patted Tea's hand. Turning to Aubrey, she said, "Griffen is pushing for Tea to change her name to Tate, and he wants to adopt Johnny."
"Oh, yep, that would do it. Griffen can be so dense sometimes," Aubrey said simply.
"Hey, that's not true, Aubrey. Griffen is so sweet," Tea said, quickly jumping to his defense.
"Sweet or not, he needs to remember he parachuted into our lives — er, I mean your life — and you're still dealing with stuff. He can't just change everything right away," Aubrey said.
"He's just excited, Aubrey," Jenna said. "Did you hurt his feelings, Tea?"
"No. That's why I came here. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."
"What did you tell him?" Aubrey asked.
"I thanked him for being so supportive and helpful about the wedding but that I had plans with you two, so I couldn’t work on anything today. See? I'm growing."
"Riiight," Jenna said slowly.
"Stop it, Jenna. I just needed some time to think through things. If I take his name, if he adopts Johnny…it feels like Jack would just…disappear."
"You and Griffen would never let that happen," Jenna said with a softer tone, stroking Tea's hair softly.
"It's just so real now. Do I go and have another wedding with a white dress and cake and all the trimmings? Do I just become a new person? I was 'Tea Taylor' for so long. I'm not sure who 'Althea Tate' is."
"You don't have to know now, do you?" Aubrey asked.
"But she has to deal with it at some point, Aubrey," Jenna answered. "She can't just ignore it and disregard Griffen's feelings."
Jenna felt guilty for being so tough on Tea, but focusing on other people's problems, rather than her own fears, was all she could handle at that moment.
"Oh please, Jenna, that pretty boy is going to be fine." Aubrey turned to Tea and added, "You baby him too much." She laughed softly, and then continued, "Okay, so, we know Tea's issue. Jenna, why are you being pissy?"
"I am not being pissy! I just had a bad day and don't want to talk about it."
"Of course you don't. You never want to talk about your shit," Aubrey said.
"Thank you!" Tea responded in a sarcastic tone.
"Oh, stop. Is this pile up on Jenna day?" Jenna said, elbowing Tea, only to get elbowed back, until they were in a full-on cranky pants, mutual hissy fit.
"I like the sound of that! Tea, let's pile up on Jenna!" Aubrey's long, limbed body and Althea's mass of hair suddenly overtook her vision as they tickled her until it hurt.
"Stop! I give, I give."
"Good," Aubrey said, a little breathless from her onslaught. "I say enough, you little babies. You know what you two need?"
"What?" Jenna asked warily. Aubrey's brilliant ideas usually ended…colorfully.
"You both need to go out with me…and get drunk."
"Hmm," Tea answered thoughtfully. "I'm listening."
"I suggest we go to the casino on the North Shore and party like some blue haired old ladies. Though I think we should also get dressed up all sexy and let lame visiting businessmen buy us drinks all night."
"I'm in," Tea said gleefully, dragging Jenna off the bed with her.
"Come on, you, no more moping," Aubrey ordered with a grin, and Jenna decided to give in and have fun for a night, too.
"Okay, I'm bored with the slots. Let's go to that big bar with all the TVs over there," Aubrey ordered to Jenna and Tea.
Jenna's head was already spinning, but it definitely sounded like a great idea. When Jenna was drunk, it always seemed like Aubrey came up with the best ideas.
"Sure, Aubrey. They have alcohol there, right?" Jenna asked.
"Of course! They have alcohol and plenty of opportunities to make bad decisions. It's just right over there," she said in a singsong voice, gesturing and slopping a bit of her candy-colored appletini onto her hand.
"Sounds good to me," Tea answered, toddling over to the huge bar and dragging her barely-covered ass up onto a stool.
"Sold!" Jenna said, following quickly behind her. She was in the market to make some bad decisions.
Jenna had played by every rule, done everything right, looked after everyone, and delayed every form of self-gratification her whole life.
And for what? she wondered. To possibly have the same outcome as my mother? To face the promise of a painful, early death?
"Hey, Jenna, why'd you get so sad looking? Tell us," Aubrey demanded.
"I know what it is," Tea answered.
"You do?" Jenna suddenly felt panicked through her alcohol fog. The last thing she wanted was for her friends to know about those lumps — they didn't need to be scared, too.
"You need to get laid, girl. You are being seriously uptight. If you won't sleep with Wyatt, what about Trey? He's pierced, tattooed, delicious, and he seems interested in you," Tea suggested.
"Ooh, good idea, Tea," Aubrey added. "Trey is like an international bad boy of mystery. I think he was a spy before."
"You're probably right," Tea said seriously. "That does make sense."
"Enough of that, you two. Okay, One — I've told you, Trey and I are friends, we like each other, but not that way and — B, er I mean, Two…Tea, seriously, you're acting like the expert on getting laid now?" Jenna asked skeptically. "Ms. 'I will keep my vagina on ice for almost six years, thank you very much' is suddenly the voice of constant sex."
"Hey, if I lived with Griffen 'The Sex Machine,' I'd be a sex-pert, too," Aubrey said in defense of Tea.
"I thought you already were a sex expert, Brey." Tea giggled.
"That's true. Let's go on the road then, Tea. We could do seminars. I’ll call my advice, 'Brey Bites.' And you can call your advice something like: 'Cups of Tea' or 'Tea bags.'"
"No way, Brey!" Jenna exclaimed. "You can't do that."
"Man, still no-fun Jenna. We were joking."
"We're supposed to be making Tea feel better," Jenna said. "Tea, do you feel better?"
"I think so, I guess I just got a little overwhelmed…"
"You poor thing. You have a hot millionaire that loves you and can't wait to marry you. Wah-wah, boohoo," Aubrey teased with a biting tone, as she twisted two fists in front of her eyes.
"Stop it," Tea said through laughter, while swatting at Aubrey's hands.
"Do you not want to marry him?" Jenna asked fuzzily, fingering the smooth rim of her martini glass — almost hypnotized by it.
"Of course I want to marry him. I said yes, didn't I?" Tea said sternly.
"I know, but it's okay if you're having regrets now. It's okay if you don't want to," Aubrey said, leaning heavily against Tea on the bar.
"Shut up, Aubrey, you just want her to bang him and then hang out with us all the time. That's not a relationship."
Aubrey just snorted and said, "Sounds like the perfect relationship if you ask me. Have sex with a hot guy who treats me right and then makes himself scarce so I can have time with my favorite ladies."
"And you helped me approve the ring for Griffen, Aubrey — enough with your mixed messages."
"Enough of that, you two. I love having Griffen around. I love Griffen. Everything about him. I never thought I'd even date again, much less marry… Now, I don't picture a day in my life that he's not in it." Tea's eyes got weepy and her voice cracked, and then she hiccupped a little.
"All right, sweetie, we get it. Calm yourself.
You're getting all red. God, you are the most emotional drunk ever, Tea!" Jenna shouted out at her, more loudly than she'd intended.
"Ex-cuuuuse me, Doctor Tough Cookie. Keep that temper down, you. It's just a matter of time before you want to go pick a cat fight with some trashy girls, you bad-ass," Tea warned her.
"I got in one fight once in college…"
"And that time we went to the Outer Banks for vacation," Tea added.
"Oh yeah, you remember that. Don't change the subject, we were talking about you being all weepy. So you love Griffen? What's the problem?" Jenna asked.
"I'm crazy about Griffen, but it’s all even more real than ever. Jack? That life we had? It's really gone, and that makes it feel like he's died all over again, but then I see Griffen and my whole heart swells. It still gives me a thrill just being near him, and I know it always will. I just need to reconcile that happiness with the knowledge that I had a life before, and it's gone."
"It’s only gone if you let it be," Aubrey interrupted.
"Right! It's not gone. You have Johnny, and Griffen loved Jack, too. You need to tell Griffen why this name thing freaks you out. I mean, he's probably scared, too. Why don't you tell Griffen what you're feeling?" Jenna asked.
"Because we just got everything sorted out between us. This is my thing to get over. I can't risk losing Griffen, so I have to figure it out on my own. I put him through hell for a while there. It'll hurt him too much — he won't get it."
"If you're marrying him, he's gonna have to get it."
"No. I'm not making the same mistake twice. I'm going to protect this relationship at all costs. Even if it's against myself."
"Tea, you've been so focused on the protecting part of your plan that you forgot about the other mistake you kept making," Aubrey said seriously.
"What do you mean?"
"Communication. If you have worries then you have to tell Griffen about them," Jenna said.
City of Champions Page 13
