“See you then.”
He sat back in his chair and pulled in a lungful of air. The praise Belinda had laid on him finally sank in. He’d sweated blood to get to where he was and while he’d always believed in his own worth on the job, his boss’s words promised the future he’d been after.
Until Kagan.
A beer sounded awfully good, so he set aside the stack of work on his desk. It could wait. He grabbed his keys and headed to the Crown & Anchor. More than a celebratory drink, though, he needed a Kagan fix. So bad that he got to the pub in record time.
Apparently a fire in the kitchen did a business good. Shane barely squeezed through the nine p.m. crowd at the official re-opening of his favorite restaurant. He nodded and smiled his way to the bar and found lady luck had left one barstool empty. He sat down and a minute later Milt slid him a beer without his asking.
Shane nodded his thanks and Milt winked.
Through the sea of bodies, Shane tried to find Kagan. Looking over his left shoulder, he spotted Erin and Teague, a few guys from his baseball league, his sister and Luke, but no sign of the woman who had his stomach in knots.
Just then, lips pressed to the right side of his neck, lingered. A warm, soft body caressed his back. “Hi,” Kagan said.
Shane spun around. She was wearing the sexy schoolgirl outfit, black-rimmed glasses and all, and boy did he want to teach her a few things. He situated her between his legs and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hi.”
“Long day?” Something in her green eyes looked off. Their usual sparkle had dwindled. The gleam shadowed by weariness maybe? With the army of people in the pub she’d probably been going nonstop.
“Yeah. It’s been like this since five, but I wanted to say hello.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “You sticking around?”
“I thought I would.”
“I’d like that. I uh, think we should talk.”
“About?” He needed a bone. A big fat one to slow down the tense, impatient drumming of his heart. He never expected to fall for someone like this, and suddenly he didn’t know how to act.
She bit her bottom lip and then leaned in a little closer, played with the hair at the nape of his neck. “You and me.” She stared into his eyes. He stared back. “How I’d like to—”
He cut her off by smashing his mouth against hers. Fierce. Passionate. Kissing her with the kind of wild abandon that led to tearing clothes off each other. Mouths open, they fed from each other, stroked each other, until they needed to come up for air—and Milt cleared his throat.
Kagan pulled back, pushed up her eyeglasses. “That,” she swallowed. “Cannot happen again, mister. Not while I’m working.”
“Why not?” he teased.
“Because…because. See? I can’t think straight anymore.” She slid her hands down the sides of her pleated skirt.
“I’m thinking perfectly clearly,” he boasted as he reached out to tug on her white button-down shirt and get her back between his legs.
She twisted away. “No more touching,” she tossed over her shoulder. Then she gave him that killer smile of hers—the one that made it difficult to breathe.
Shane swiveled back around and sipped his beer. Holding the bottle at the neck, the icy temperature at his fingertips helped cool the inferno inside him. A feeling of weightlessness settled over him. He and Kagan were on the same wavelength, and by the time the Fall Fling rolled around next week, the whole town would know she had most definitely captured his heart for good.
He’d decided. If Belinda asked about Kagan on Monday morning, he’d tell her the truth. Then he’d add he was still the best person for the VP spot regardless of his personal life. And if she didn’t promote him? Hell, he could take what he knew anywhere. Even New York.
When a couple hours later Milt extended closing time to one a.m. because the crowd was still hopping, Shane was positive that if he didn’t get home to bed, he’d pass out with his head on the bar.
He caught Kagan by the arm. “Hey. I’m really beat. Do you mind—”
“Go. Thanks for staying this long.” She kissed his cheek. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Shane stayed five minutes longer, to watch her smile at the customers, move in a way that made certain parts of him twitch even though exhaustion settled in his muscles, and talk with genuine regard.
He silently thanked his lucky stars she was his.
…
Kagan had talked to Shane once since Friday night—a brief conversation Saturday morning when he’d told her he’d be at his parents’ house all day. She had to work that night, but she’d thought he might surprise her and show up on her doorstep after she’d texted him she was home.
His reply had come this morning—Sorry I missed your text last night. Have work to catch up on today. Will check in with you later.
Check in? What did that mean? And why was she acting like such a dolt? He had a life besides her. Just because he’d put it on hold to be her pretend boyfriend didn’t mean she should expect anything else from him.
She had a life too. All morning she’d been making bracelets and finalizing the website pages her web designer had emailed. Victoria’s Bloom was about to take flight. She tossed the couch pillow in her lap aside and brought her knees to her chest as her gaze moved to the picture of her and her mom on the mantle. I did it, Mom. I’ve figured it out.
She sat there for a long time, remembering what she could of her mom, recalling those blips in her subconscious that always made her happy. Her mom and dad in the front row of her dance recitals. Her mom and dad filling her chore chart with smiley face stickers and forking over crisp one-dollar bills. Her mom and dad dropping her off at her first middle school dance, their expressions filled with adoration and fear.
Her mom and dad.
She missed her dad. Despite everything he’d done to make her run, she knew deep down he loved her and just wanted the best for her.
Everything had changed for them when they’d lost Mom. Life had been hard for the longest time and then it just was. They went through all the motions of living, but mostly what Kagan cared about was keeping her dad happy and not wanting to disappoint him.
The letter he’d sent still sat on her small desk. Maybe it was time she read it. She picked it up and tore into the envelope before she could change her mind.
His handwriting made her heart leap. When she was little, he’d put notes in her lunchbox. The fond memory lasted all of five seconds, though. This note stated none of the loving sentiments of her youth. It demanded she stop acting like an insolent child and come home.
She tore the letter in half, bunched it up in her hand, and tossed it in the trash. She needed something to make her feel better, and she knew what that something was.
Grabbing her purse and keys, she headed out the door to surprise Shane at work. She remembered he loved sandwiches from Mudd’s so she’d stop there on her way and bring him lunch. Her skin tingled at the thought of seeing him. She’d missed him.
The roads, the beach, the town—everywhere was packed. Everyone, she guessed, wanted to enjoy this last Sunday of the official summer break. By the time she got to Burke & Associates, it was close to two. The parking lot closed, she parked across the street from the three-story glass and brick building and was about to get out of the car when she saw Shane exit the front door with a tall, pretty brunette.
They were laughing. The girl looked like she was in her early twenties and stared at Shane like all the single women of Cascade hoping to hook up did—with a hankering to wrap herself around him.
Kagan rolled her eyes and grabbed the door handle. But then Shane stopped at his car and the woman smiled and nodded before walking around the hood and climbing into the passenger seat.
Huh?
They continued talking while the convertible top folded down, and Kagan knew she should take that opportunity to run across the street and say hey. But instead her chest constricted, and she froze. Watching their friendly c
onversation, she couldn’t get her mind off one word: playboy.
She hated thinking the worst, hated feeling insecure, but why else was this girl in his car on a Sunday afternoon? Some time in the past two days he’d changed his mind about her. Something had spooked him, and he’d gone back to his old ways.
The girl looked away from Shane, toward the street, and Kagan ducked down to avoid notice. She squeezed her eyes shut. How humiliating it would be if she were caught spying.
“Five, four, three, two, one,” she whispered before risking a peek.
They were gone.
Kagan’s stomach churned, her eyes stung. It doesn’t matter. Shane doesn’t matter. She’d come to Cascade to figure herself out and she had. Nothing mattered more than her independence.
Wish granted. Because at the moment, she’d never felt more alone.
Chapter Fourteen
Shane dropped Drew off at her house. Her boyfriend had forgotten to pick her up and Shane knew all about forgetting. He also knew he’d never leave a woman in any sort of vulnerable position again. Even though it was mid-day and they lived in one of the safest towns in America, he wasn’t going to leave Drew in front of the building waiting for someone else to pick her up. She waved good-bye from her parents’ front porch and he sped away, eager to get to Kagan’s before he went into major withdrawal.
He got to her place, parked, and raced up her walkway. He should have brought flowers, he realized. He’d never given flowers to a girl before, but he wanted to plant an entire garden for Kagan. He wanted to set down roots with her, and take her on ridiculously romantic dates for the next fifty years. He wanted to get rid of his emotional armor for good.
His leg shook while waiting for her to answer the door. Why the hell was he so nervous?
She wants to talk.
He didn’t need to worry about Kagan’s feelings for him. There was no way he’d mistaken the desire in her eyes, the sense of urgency in her kisses, the connection whenever they touched.
Right?
Just as he was about to give up, she parked her car at the curb. He kept still and watched. Today’s dress was a long, flowing yellow outfit perfect for the last days of summer. Her hair sat atop her head in a messy knot. She held a bag from Mudd’s in her hand.
“How’d you know I was hungry?” he called out.
Her head snapped up, her eyes widened. A slew of emotions—surprise for sure, uncertainty maybe, the rest he didn’t want to name. Her brows furrowed, her full lips in a tight line…looked like happiness wasn’t one of them.
“I, uh… when did you get here?” She met him at the bottom of the steps leading to her front door.
He leaned in to kiss her, but she dropped to sit on the stairs before he made contact. “A few minutes ago.” He sat and put his arm around her. “What’s up, Kay?”
She stayed stiff, her head canted away from his.
Shane didn’t know what had happened to upset her, but he wasn’t about to let her close herself off now. He turned her face toward his so he could look her square in the eyes when he said, “Talk to me.”
Eyelashes fluttering, she held his gaze. Her bottom lip trembled. Shit. Somehow this was about him.
“I stopped by your office to bring you lunch.”
“Damn. Sorry I missed you. How about we eat it now?” She must have shown up right after he’d left with Drew. It couldn’t be the reason for her frown, though. “And you can tell me why you’re upset.”
“You didn’t miss me. I saw you in front of your office with a girl and it looked… I didn’t want to interrupt you guys. So I—”
Whoa. Her words—her roundabout accusation—felt like he’d been sucker punched.
“What did you think I was doing?” Anger thrummed through his veins. Kagan was not a milquetoast kind of woman, and the idea that she’d thought he what? Wanted to fool around with someone else and string her along too? And then she slinked away without calling him on it?
“I thought…” Her eyes darted away from his. “I thought the worst.”
“After everything we’ve done together? Everything we’ve shared? How could you think that?” he bit out.
She flinched. “I don’t know! You do have a reputation.”
“Not for being a two-timer.” He jerked his hand through his hair. “You’re the smartest woman I know, and I can’t believe how stupid you’re being right now.”
“Excuse me?” She dropped the Mudd’s bag and turned, squared her shoulders. Her lips twisted and damn if he didn’t want to kiss the living daylights out of her so she’d be reminded of what was happening between them.
He held back when she glanced at his mouth like maybe she wanted to kiss him too. Good. At least part of them was on the same wavelength. But if she didn’t trust him, how could they move forward?
“I’ve been the perfect boyfriend while Brett was here, and—”
“Exactly. Our pretense is over.”
“And you think that means we are? I thought we were clear on this. Where’d the woman go that I kissed Friday night? Did that feel like good-bye?” The sun beat down on him like a laser beam and sweat coated his back.
“A kiss doesn’t mean we’re clear, Shane.”
She confused him to no end. He’d felt that kiss down to his bones. He’d watched her pupils swallow the perfect green of her eyes and heard her breath hitch. In that moment, the kiss had said more than any words.
“Have you trusted anything I’ve said or done since we became friends?” He fanned his T-shirt away from his stomach.
“Of course.”
“Which parts? Let’s hash this out right here, right now.”
She let out a shaky breath and pressed her hands into her lap. “I can’t.”
“Because?” Pain marred her smooth complexion, lines trickling out from the corners of her eyes and mouth, and he hated that he was the cause of it. Even through his own anger and hurt, it pained him to see her shoulders wither, the light around her dull.
“I don’t work that way. I need to think about things. And the only thing I can think about right now is how seeing you with that girl reminded me of something.”
“Did an old boyfriend cheat on you?”
“No.”
“What, then?” He gently slipped his hand between hers and laced their fingers together before pulling her arm up and kissing her knuckles. Her skin was soft, delicate.
Her gaze flicked to his wrist and the leather band she’d made him. He’d yet to take it off.
“Kagan?”
“That love is an illusion that never lasts.” She drew her hand back.
He weighed those words in his mind with more care than he’d ever taken before. The next thing he said might make or break his chances of convincing her she was wrong.
She’d gotten him some peace over his past with Mia, gotten him over his fear of someone counting on him, and he wasn’t about to let her get away with any illusion crap when she loved him. Yeah. She loved him. He doubted she realized it, but that’s what she’d just alluded to. And he was built to last.
Shane shrugged. He couldn’t force her to let him back in, but he could give her time to think. He got to his feet. She looked up at him, her elbow lifting out to the side and her hand slanting across her forehead.
Walking away was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.
Knowing she hurt inside, and he was the cause killed him. But he needed time too. How could she not trust him? Thinking the worst after she’d changed him and stolen his heart wasn’t just unfair. It cut him down to nothing.
He wasn’t about to apologize. And he wasn’t about to explain who Drew was so she could contemplate her mistake while he kept his distance. She either trusted him or she didn’t. Loved him enough or she didn’t.
“I guess I’ll see you around then,” he said. “If and when you want to talk, let me know.”
“O-okay.”
That one softly spoken word would haunt him the rest of the day. He t
urned around and strode to his car without looking back.
…
On Friday Shane took off early from work to head over to Watters Park in the middle of town. He’d told his dad he’d help set up Station Twenty-Nine’s dunking booth for the Fall Fling tomorrow. Because the event was so large, preparations always took place the day before and security guards roamed the area overnight.
His help really wasn’t needed, but he wanted to keep an eye on his old man and make sure Captain Henry Sullivan let the young guys do the heavy lifting. After ten days, his dad was back in fighting shape, and Shane wanted to keep him there.
“Let me help you with that,” he said to Mrs. Witt, scrambling out of his car in time to grab the stack of Frisbees in her arms before they toppled over.
“You’re making this a habit, coming to my rescue.” She teetered as he took the plastic discs. “Thank you.”
“Anything for a pretty lady.”
“Shane Sullivan, do not flirt with me.” She tapped his arm with a playful swipe. “You need to use that charm of yours on Kagan, not little old ladies.”
He stifled a groan and fell in step beside her. From what he’d gathered, this week’s main topic of conversation had been him and Kagan and whether or not they’d “kiss and make up.” Not that anyone knew the particulars, just that they hadn’t been seen together in a week and Brett had gone back to New York.
It had been the longest week of his life.
He missed Kagan like crazy. His heart seriously ached to see her. Smell her. Touch her. Tell her he’d made vice president.
He’d put it all on the line, and despite his confession he’d fallen in love, Belinda had awarded him the promotion. She’d appreciated his honesty and told him she’d be a shitty boss if she didn’t want her employees happy in their personal lives too. But—and she’d winked when she’d said it—she hoped some innocent flirting wasn’t out of the question if the need arose.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said to Mrs. Witt. And so maybe he’d also left work early in hopes of seeing Kagan today. He knew she’d planned to have a booth to sell her bracelets. And since she’d yet to get in touch with him, he needed to do something. “What are these for?”
Her Accidental Boyfriend: A Secret Wishes Novel (Entangled Bliss) Page 17
