by Owen Thomas
“Sorry, I…”
“That really hurt! Jesus!”
“Mae. Don’t stop. I’m sorry. I was just so … into it. I was so turned on, I…”
“What is it, exactly, about beating me that turns you on?”
“Nothing. I’m sorry. Can we just…”
I kiss her and work on rebuilding the rhythm. She shakes off the anger as best she can and makes a genuine effort to relocate our momentum. She has stopped with the verbal aggression. We coast to a finish. I have no confidence that her climax is real and mine is disappointingly ordinary.
It is only a little later, lying in bed on top of my sheets, naked and sticky that we both laugh about what we agree to think of as my spasm or seizure brought on by erotic overload. I am relieved that I may not have fucked things up after all.
“Hey,” I say with an unconvincing air of casual indifference. “Mom’s having a party for Tilly tomorrow. You know. She was nominated for Peppermint Grove.”
“Ugh. I hated that movie.”
“Really?”
“She was okay, I guess, but the movie really sucked. I didn’t buy the relationship. In real life, she never would have slept with him. I mean, he’s like what… a hundred years older than her. Although … I guess we are talking about your sister.”
I take a breath and wait for the feeling to pass. I am angry for my sister who, by any measure, probably deserves comments like that, but it still gets to me. I let it pass.
“So, you wanna go?”
“Ohhhh, David.” She rolls over, turning her perfect, now welted ass in my direction, burying her face in the pillow. Eventually, she sits up. “I… no, okay? This was really nice. I mean, aside from being beaten, I really enjoyed seeing you, but I just...”
“Why not?” I fight to sound indifferent and merely curious.
“Because I don’t know what,” she gestures at the tangle of sheets with a wad of tissue, “all of this means, yet. And…and because, I don’t know. Because I think your sister is a stuck up little skank and, and to be perfectly honest, your mom really gets on my nerves. She like, really needs to relax. Your dad’s great. He’s so funny and sweet and attentive and knowledgeable and just so totally unlike the women in your family. But…”
“Tilly’s not coming,” I say hopefully.
“She’s not?”
“No.”
“Then… how…”
“Speakerphone.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Mom’s idea.”
“Yeah, I’m shocked. Like I said, Susan needs to take a pill. And…”
“What.”
“Nothing.”
“Mae…”
“Your brother.”
“What about him?”
“I dunno… he… makes me a little … uncomfortable. I’m just never good with, you know, the disabled. Does that make me awful? That makes me awful.”
“No. It doesn’t make you awful. It’s not a crime. Ben will probably spend most of the time in his room, anyway.”
“I’m really not wild about the idea, Dave.”
“Yeah, I get that. But, why not just come by for a little bit. Say hello. You don’t have to stay. You know. Just …” I resist the urge to tell her that all she needs to do is bake a casserole. “Just make an appearance. Tell them you’re feeling sick but just wanted to say, congratulations or something.”
She sighs and holds her head in her hands, hair cascading in gorgeous black locks to her naked lap. I kiss her shoulder, unable to resist this manipulation, but not knowing why. The momentum of wanting her back can’t be stopped.
“Maybe. Maybe. Go without me. If I’m there, I’m there. If I’m not there, then…”
She doesn’t finish. I know this is as close as I will ever get to a commitment. My heart swells with something that is either relief or dread.
She slips off the bed and pads into the bathroom. I wonder whether Detective North is eating donuts and drinking bad coffee in a car parked four houses down the street. I try to imagine what he is thinking. The worry comes back in ferocious waves. I am simultaneously incredulous that I, David Johns, have these kinds of problems and that I was almost able to forget about them for fifteen minutes.
The water stops. Mae lets out a defeated sigh as she pees. She speaks, I assume, more to herself than to me.
“I’m not telling anyone that I liked her stupid movie.”
CHAPTER 19 – Susan
“Well, um, excuse me… excuse me. Can I get everyone’s attention? Thank you. It’s almost seven, so let me just say a few words before we call Tilly. And then we can eat dinner. So… I’m not very good at making speeches, I guess. Hollis is much better at that sort of thing than I am. But I do want to say a few words about our daughter.”
“Don’t you listen to that. She’s a great speaker. You’re wonderful, Susan.”
“Oh, now, Gayle…”
“No, Susan, seriously. Remember Columbus? Remember… oh, you’re just too modest. Susan and I worked on Eric Fingerhut’s campaign and she spoke at one of the rallies in Columbus. She was awesome.”
“All I did was announce that he was running late. I didn’t really…”
“Oh, now, come on, Susan. Okay, then I’ll tell it…”
“Gayle, really…”
“This was just after Voinovich came out with those despicable attack ads and before we forced him into the one and only debate in that race. And John Glenn had just come out… wait, was that before or…
“It was after, but, really, Gayle...”
“Right, yeah, that’s what I thought. It was after John Glenn called the ads the lowest form of gutter politics he had ever seen. Anyway, so we were at this rally in Columbus and Eric Fingerhut is running a little late and he calls to say he is on the way. Everybody is running around doing different things and Susan takes the call only because Alex’s cell phone was sitting on the chair next to where she is opening a box of campaign buttons. So, Eric needs someone to make the announcement and Susan, who can’t get the attention of any of the senior campaign staffers thinks, well, I’ll just do it myself. And so she strides up on stage and makes the announcement about the candidate running late. And the deputy campaign manager is standing right next to me and, of course, he’s concerned because he doesn’t really even know Susan, I mean she was like me, just a low level campaign grunt, and here she is up at the microphone addressing hundreds of people. Hundreds! So, he’s like riveted, preparing to panic. But Susan just explained, very calmly, that Mr. Fingerhut was running just a few minutes late and that he had just called to thank everyone for their patience. And she started to leave the microphone. But I could see from her face that she has thought of something else she wanted to say.”
“Oh, Gayle, really, I…”
“Let her tell the story, Susan. Keep going, Gayle.”
“Thank you, Nikki.”
“Mikki.”
“Sorry. Thank you, Mikki.”
“Mikki, it’s really not important. It was just sort of a spur of the moment thing. Hollis hates this story.”
“No, Susan. I don’t hate the story. You made a fine little speech.”
“Well…it’s not like you were actually there.”
“I heard all about it. Believe me.”
“You just hated Fingerhut.”
“I didn’t hate Fingerhut.”
“You didn’t vote for him though.”
“Lots of people didn’t vote for him. It’s not the same thing as hating. I said I didn’t respect him.”
“You said you hated him.”
“No, Susan. I …”
“You did.”
“No…”
“Oh, Hollis. You did. You did. Sitting right over there at that table. He did. He said he hated Eric Fingerhut. David heard it, didn’t you, David?”
“Leave me out of this, Mom.”
“Susan, maybe we should just make the call.”
“Hollis…”
“S
usan, we are going to be late if we don’t…”
“Hollis, Gayle was talking.”
“Yes, Hollis. Please? Let Gayle tell the story. I want to hear. Finish Gayle.”
“Thank you…uh….”
“Bethany. Sorry, I’m the stranger in the room.”
“Nice to meet you Bethany.”
“I guess that’s my fault. I should have …”
“Oh, no, Hollis. That’s okay.”
“No, I should have introduced you to everyone earlier. This is Bethany Koan. She’s a good friend of mine from New York. She’s …”
“Hollis met her for the first time a couple of days ago and they have become very good friends.”
“Susan.”
“What? What did I say?”
“…She’s a graduate of Columbia, visiting our fair state shopping for business schools. Her father is a very big name in Japanese banking circles.”
“Hi everyone. Thank you for including me, Mrs. Johns.”
“Oh, please, call me Susan.”
“Susan. Thank you. I had no idea until I got here who your daughter was… is. I’m still kind of in shock. She’s a real, you know, celebrity. Hollis went all this time and never told me. But that’s Hollis, right? Full of wonderful surprises.”
“Oh, that’s Hollis all right.”
“Now, Bethany, the guy sitting over there looking out the window for something better to do is my oldest son, David.”
“Funny, dad.”
“He’s a history teacher and doesn’t much care for things that happen in the here and now. He doesn’t like to fish or golf, but he’s a good boy.”
“Aww. That’s sweet, Hollis.”
“And Mikki and Jude Dobbs are there by the fireplace.”
“Hi Bethany. Nice to meet you.”
“And Harris Pinkle behind the chair. And his wife is Peaches, who is… she’s…where’s Peaches?”
“I’m in the kitchen.”
“Peaches!”
“What.”
“Come stick your head out here and say hello to Bethany. There she is. Peaches, this is Bethany.”
“Hi Peaches.”
“No, not my real name, but it stuck. Hollis, where the hell is your Scotch?”
“I’m not much into Scotch. If we have any, it’s on the other side of the cabinet. Okay, and I know you’ve met the Swensons, and the Taylors, and you know who Gayle is, sorry, Gayle…”
“Harley.”
“Right, Gayle Harley. And if she ever gets here you can meet David’s girlfriend, Mae Chang. And you’ve met Susan. And that’s everybody. Who wants some more wine? Peaches, come have a glass of wine.”
“You forgot me, Hollis.”
“Oh, sorry, Rhonda. I didn’t see you over there. Bethany, this is …”
“Didn’t see me? I weigh 275 pounds and I’m wearing aqua, Hollis. Either I should be offended or you’re in serious need of glasses.”
“Oh, no, Hollis is very considerate. He’s about the nicest, sweetest person I’ve ever met. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything bad.”
“Well aren’t you fresh. I’m just pullin’ his leg, doll. I’m Rhonda Davenport.”
“Oh. Very nice to meet you Rhonda.”
“We all think Hollis is a peach. Except Peaches. She thinks he’s a liquor store.”
“I heard that.”
“Thank you, Rhonda. Flattery will get you just about everywhere. Now, as Susan was saying, we would like to welcome you all to our home to pay tribute to our daughter, of whom we are exceedingly proud. She has, as you all know, been nominat…”
“Hollis.”
“Yes?”
“Gayle … was telling … a story.”
“Well, Susan, that’s true. But it’s after 7:00 and I think it might be best…”
“No. She was in mid-story and I think you can probably wait just a minute.”
“That’s okay, Susan. I was just…”
“No, Gayle. You were interrupted.”
“By all means, Gayle. Please continue.”
“Uh, okay. Where was I? Susan has just thanked the crowd for waiting and she starts to leave the stage but then decides she wants to say something else. So she takes a big step back to the center of the stage, and the deputy campaign manager is like, grabbing my elbow super hard and asking me what’s she doing? What’s she doing? I mean, he’s waiting for some unknown catastrophe. And Susan, very calmly, just leans into the microphone and says something like, I don’t have to tell you that Eric Fingerhut is a man worth waiting for, followed by general applause. Then she says, It’s not like waiting for Senator Voinovich to agree to a debate! And the crowd went nuts. And so Susan says, It’s not like waiting for Senator Voinovich to clean up his campaign! And they go crazy again and the deputy campaign manager is laughing, nervously, but he’s laughing. And then she says, It’s not like waiting for Senator Voinovich to start giving a damn about the state of Ohio! Absolute bedlam. I mean they were going crazy. And then, Susan throws her fist in the air, …”
“Gayle, really, you don’t have to…”
“Susan, you were the one who wanted her to continue.”
“I just kind of got carried away. I…”
“Let her finish.”
“And I quote: It’s not like waiting for Senator Voinovich to get his mind and his campaign out of the gutter and acknowledge that gays and lesbians have a right to marry and a right to raise children. But we’re not gonna wait any more, Senator, because by God homosexuals in Ohio have a right to vote! People were cheering and chanting and by the time Fingerhut got there they were all worked up. Best rally of the campaign. I was inspired. I thought we might actually win. I spend most of my time drinking now.”
“Not Scotch you don’t. Not tonight anyway.”
“Peaches.”
“Well. Thanks very much for that, Gayle. As I was saying, Susan and I want …”
“I’m just saying that Susan is actually a very good speaker.”
“MmmHmm. Okay. It’s after 7:00. Susan and I want to thank everyone for coming to this celebration of Tilly’s nomination. It was important for us to do this. We always knew our daughter had talent, that she was smart and determined. There is an old Buddhist saying: It is a wise father that knows his own child. And I do count myself as a wise man, because I have always known that Tilly would make a name for herself. Her success has always been inevitable.”
“Here, here.”
“Well said, Hollis.”
“You’re so sweet, Hollis. I can’t believe how lucky Tilly is.”
“Hollis, you think … just maybe … it would have been good to have Tilly on the phone to actually hear those words?”
“Well, I was just going to say, unfortunately, Tilly cannot be here because she is filming another picture…”
“She’s not filming another picture, Hollis.”
“She’s filming another picture and …”
“She’s not.”
“And so we have to settle for the speakerphone. So I went out today and bought this little beauty…where is it…oh, hand me that phone there, David.”
“Hollis, don’t put it on the floor. No. No. Don’t do that. Here. Put it on the top of the television. It’s up higher …”
“This is fine, Susan.”
“No. It really isn’t fine to have the phone way down at everyone’s feet.”
“This is fine. Okay. Is everyone ready? Peaches?”
“What now?”
“Where are you? Are you still…”
“You said there was Scotch. There’s no Scotch in here.”
“No, I said if we had any…”
“Peaches, leave the man alone. Come on out here.”
“Bring the wine when you come and make sure everyone has a glass.”
“She’s a guest, Hollis, not your bartender.”
Beep… beep, beep, beep…
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Susan. I think Peaches just might be Hollis’ bartende
r.”
…beep, beep, beep…
“Stick it Rhonda. If there’s no scotch then you can help me look for bourbon.”
…beep, beep, beep, beep…
“Hello?”
“Tilly? This is Dad.”
“Oh…dad? I was expecting…”
“Welcome to your nomination party, Sweetheart!”
“Uh, thanks, Dad.”
“Let me tell you who we have gathered in the living room. Your mother, of course, is here.”
“Hi, darling!”
“Hi mom.”
“And Bill and Dana Swenson.”
“Congratulations, Tilly!
“Wonderful performance, Tilly. You know, as your first doctor, I take some small credit for your success.”
“Hi guys. Thanks Doc.”
“And Mikki and Jude are here.”
“Hi Tilly!”
“Nicely done, Til’.”
“Thank you.”
“And Chris and Amanda Taylor are here.”
“Hi Tilly. I know we’ve never met, but we’re big fans and great friends of your parents and we’re real proud of you too.”
“Thank you. Nice to meet you.”
“And Harris and Peaches are here.”
“Hi’ya, Tilly! Uncle Harris here. Way to knock ‘em dead kiddo. Peaches, get out here. Peaches is in the kitchen. She says hi. ”
“Tilly, tell your old man to get some good Scotch for these celebrations. Can’t celebrate without Scotch.”
“Hi Peaches. There’s a drawer to the left of the sink, right above the floor….”
“Tilly…”
“Pull the drawer all the way out and reach your hand back behind the drawer. Always a good stash of booze back there.”
“Peaches, don’t bother with that, Tilly’s just pulling your leg. Tilly, if you can behave, I want to continue with your fan club.”
“It’s your show, dad.”
“Rhonda Davenport is here.”
“Hey, doll. Haven’t seen you in ages. Many pounds ago. Not since Jack died.”
“Hi Rhonda. I’m sure sorry about Jack.”
“Lot of water under the bridge, baby. I’m keeping up with you in the papers.”
“Oh, honestly, Rhonda.”
“It’s okay, Mom. Just, don’t believe everything you read, Rhonda.”
