by Jonah Hewitt
“Dude,” Tim protested.
“It’s for the cause. C’mon, take one for the team, Solo, she’s never gonna talk to some boy without a shirt – it’s too threatening.”
“An’ I wonders why any girl would talk to sumun without a shirt,” Miles interjected.
Schuyler ignored Miles again and continued to make the sale to Tim, “You can wear the blazer.”
Tim eyed Schuyler and the blazer suspiciously.
“Dude, it’s Italian,” Schuyler reassured him.
Tim relented and jerked off the hoodie and then pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it to Sky. Then he put the hoodie back on and zipped it up to the neck. Sky took off the white silk blazer and handed it to Tim who put it over the hoodie. It was a great jacket, but he looked ridiculous. Schuyler pulled on the t-shirt. Miles had to admit, it looked better on Sky than on Tim. Tim was lanky and skinny, but Sky was toned and fit. His six-pack showed even through the shirt. Then Miles watched in disbelief as Sky took a small bottle out of his pocket and squeezed some gel into his hand, put the bottle away, and then ran the goop through his hair with both hands.
“What in bloody heck are you doin’?” Miles asked.
“Young girls can sometimes be intimidated by guys when they’re too good looking. No girl wants a guy with hair better than hers, so I’m adding a little conditioner to grunge it up – tone down the awesome – to make myself a little more approachable,” Schuyler explained this as if it should be a self-evident fact apparent to everyone but Miles.
Miles blinked in disbelief as Schuyler went through this regimen and worked the conditioner carefully down to the tips of his shoulder-length blond hair. After a while he just had to ask, “Now let me get this straight…you don’ carry a spare shirt…but you carry around a bottle a’ conditioner?!”
Chapter Twenty-Four
The Gift shop
“Ugh, this one looks like my grandmother’s sewing room exploded all over it,” Amanda snorted.
Lucy laughed out loud. “How about this one?” Lucy said as she held up a pair of blue ones.
“Ducklings and what are they? I can’t tell…are they teeth? That doesn’t even make any sense, does it? Who are they marketing to? Duck-fancying dental students?!”
“And this one?” Lucy held up a tropical floral print.
“Good grief, Lucy. It’s like the demon offspring of Laurel Ashley and Jimmy Buffet’s concert wardrobe.” Both of them burst out laughing, until the little old lady behind the cash register started giving them dirty looks.
“Well I hate to admit it, Lucy, but I think Dr. Carfax got you the best set of jammies in here.”
It was true. They were all awful. There were floral nightgowns for little old ladies, a few muumuus of circus-tent proportions and some super, sickly, sweet, cute stuff for little kids, but other than that there wasn’t much of a selection. There were piles of stuffed animals and fake plants and get-well balloons galore, but Lucy figured the hospital didn’t have much call for pajamas because most people weren’t here that long or brought their own. Lucy didn’t want to think about how long she would be here, so she went back to the small rack of pajamas.
“This one looks like a sofa cushion,” Lucy said.
“More like a dog pillow,” Amanda wrinkled her nose. She was right. “I’ll have to have a talk to marketing and concessions back at corporate. I don’t think some of this inventory has moved since the eighties.” Amanda smiled at Lucy, and she smiled back at Amanda. Amanda was funny. The stern, cold and scary Amanda hadn’t shown up since they came into the gift shop. Lucy liked the fun and warm Amanda much better. Lucy just figured that stern Amanda was her business/courtroom face – the one she used to show she was serious. Her mom had a face like that, but it wasn’t her normal face, just the one she used to tell her something was really important.
Lucy was having a fun time shopping and making fun of the pajama selection with Amanda. She was like the awesome, glamorous aunt she never had. In fact, it was the most fun she had had…well since her mom had died. Thinking about her mom, it made her feel guilty that she could have fun without her.
“It’s normal, y’know,” Amanda said while searching the shelves for t-shirts.
“What?” Lucy said not realizing she was twisting her hair.
“What you’re feeling. They even have a name for it. It’s called ‘survivor’s guilt.’”
Lucy looked down.
“It’s ok,” Amanda said sympathetically, “You just have to keep telling yourself it wasn’t your fault that your mother died. Some things just…happen, and life goes on…and it will even get better. You’ll see. It just takes time.”
Lucy didn’t want it to get better. Getting better might mean that she didn’t miss her mom anymore, that she didn’t love her enough, but the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like Amanda was right. Amanda put her arm around Lucy and rubbed her shoulder. It wasn’t quite a hug, but it was close enough to make Lucy feel better without feeling self-conscious.
Eventually they decided on a couple of dark t-shirts, but there were no decent pants at all. Amanda told her she would just have to put up with the princess kitty bottoms for the night, but she promised she would find something for her and bring it back to her tomorrow. She also bought Lucy a bunch of necessities: some shampoo and a washcloth, a toothbrush and a hairbrush too, also a bunch of snacks. She was being really nice. She knew just what she needed to restore a sense of normalcy.
For a minute, Amanda stared intently at Lucy in a curious way. Lucy was just starting to feel nervous about it when Amanda spoke.
“Do you wanna get out of here?”
“What? Oh, yeah…I guess we better be going, the gift shop is gonna close soon, huh?”
Amanda smiled, “Not that, honey…I mean do you want to get out of this hospital?”
Lucy shrugged and then said, “Sure, but that’s up to the social worker, isn’t it?”
“Not entirely,” Amanda responded. “Dr. Carfax will probably want to watch you another night, just to make sure you’re ok, but if everything checks out, you could leave tomorrow.”
“Where would I go?”
“Well…” Amanda began looking at the ceiling as if she was searching for the words, “I was thinking you could come and stay with me.”
“You?” Lucy said surprised, but it came out sounding weird and Lucy was afraid she might have offended Amanda. Amanda just smiled.
“Well, yes. I have a suite at a hotel here. You could have your own room and your own bed, real pajamas,” and as she said this, she gave a small tug on Lucy’s sleeve. Lucy laughed. “Give you back some sense of normalcy, for a start, but then after that I thought I might take you back to my place in Philly.”
“Really?! But what about child welfare? I thought I was going to be turned over to them.” Lucy was twirling her hair again.
“Well, I do happen to know a really good family-law attorney, so I think I might be able to persuade them to let you stay with me.” Amanda gave her a wink and half-smirk. Lucy smiled then thought about something else.
“What about your job?”
“I’ve got plenty of vacation time coming. I thought I’d take a couple weeks off and spend it with you, just until we get things sorted out.”
Lucy got real quiet and pulled her hair behind her ears. “And what about after those two weeks?”
Amanda smiled, “Look, I like you, kiddo.” Lucy’s mom liked nicknames – she always used to call her ‘kiddo’ too. “In fact I like you a lot. I’ve always wanted a daughter, Lucy, and I can’t help but think that fate has brought us together. I don’t know what the future holds. Maybe we should take it slow. I figured we could try it on a trial basis and see how it works out. Whaddya say?”
Lucy was skeptical, but it was hard to shove down the swelling feeling of hope in her chest.
Amanda turned and lowered her body ever so slightly so that she could look at Lucy face-to-face. Then she grabbed Lu
cy gently by the shoulders and gave them a comforting little squeeze. “The important thing, Lucy, is that you are happy. I want you to know that it’s your choice. You have a choice, Lucy. You will always have a choice with me.”
Lucy looked down and thought, but she didn’t have to think long. Anywhere was better than here and Amanda seemed to really like her. Maybe it was possible this whole disaster could have a happy ending after all? Maybe her mom was watching her from beyond and had sent Amanda to her. Lucy looked back up.
“I think I would…like that…I think I would like that a lot,” she answered haltingly at first, but got stronger towards the end as she found her conviction.
Amanda looked at her and her eyes were wet like she was about to cry. She looked like she really wanted to give her a hug, but the relationship was still too fragile. She just stroked Lucy’s arms a little and said, “All right, honey. I’ll get to work on the arrangements right away.” Lucy felt almost contented. Everything seemed like it was going to work out just fine now. She had forgotten about the woman with the long hair and gray eyes and all her troubles. Then she realized that she had forgotten about Yo-yo too. She was still planning to make a run for it with him tonight. How could she abandon him? Amanda must have seen the anxiety flit across her face.
“You ok, honey?”
“Hmm? Oh! Sure…everything’s fine!” Lucy said a little too anxiously.
“Anything you want to tell me?”
‘Um…nope! Everything’s peachy.” “Peachy?!” thought Lucy. Why had she said “Peachy?!” That was bound to sound forced. Amanda was smart. She would suspect something. Amanda looked sideways at her for a moment, but just then her cell phone rang.
“Darn it…work never ends.” She stood up abruptly and pulled a sleek, black phone from her elegant clutch.
“What is it?!” The cold stern Amanda was back. It was such an abrupt change it made Lucy jump.
“WHAT?! Are you certain?!” Her voice was suddenly terrifying. Amanda’s eyes suddenly locked on Lucy and she flinched again, but her gaze immediately softened when she realized Lucy was looking at her.
“I’m sorry, Lucy. Work,” she rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders in an exasperated gesture her mom often did after a long day at the middle school library. Still there was something odd and forced about the expression. Lucy imagined that corporate life must be pretty cutthroat, but her urgency seemed to suggest something else.
“No…no…listen to me!!...no…just…wait…hang on!” The stern Amanda was building up to a rage. Amanda slapped her hand over the phone. She forced the friendly Amanda back to the surface to talk to Lucy, but the stern Amanda was burning through her eyes. “I’m sorry, Lucy, but this is an old colleague of mine, a very old colleague, and he’s not that familiar with cell phones. Can you excuse me for a few minutes? I’ll be right back.” Then she held up a finger as the friendly Amanda strained to hold the harsh Amanda back. “Don’t. Leave. The. Gift. Shop. Promise?”
Lucy just nodded. She didn’t feel like talking to the other Amanda anyway. Amanda made a forced smile and marched out of the gift shop, barking into the phone, “How did this happen?!!!”
Lucy grabbed her head in both hands and let out a muttered grunt of anguish, “Unarrrrgh!” That attracted another disapproving glare from the cashier. Lucy milled about the store, uncertain what to do next. There were only a few people there so she wandered over to the stuffed animal section where no one else was standing. She was even more confused than ever. Just an hour or so ago, she was certain of her plan. She and Yo-yo were going to escape and make their way to her house outside Ephrata, but Amanda had thrown all that into chaos. Now that she thought about it, the whole plan had been chaos to begin with. Exactly how was she going to get to Ephrata anyway?! And once she got that far then what? It was a stupid plan – a stupid childish plan. And that’s just what she was, a child, a kid that needed someone grown up to take care of her, someone like Amanda. She decided that she would take Amanda’s offer and tell her about Yo-yo. Maybe she could help him, maybe she couldn’t but it was the safest thing for her. But as she thought that, she couldn’t help but wonder if the cold and austere Amanda was the real Amanda behind closed doors. Lucy just slumped down face first into a pile of fuzzy teddy bears and screamed. Thankfully, the plush toys muffled her frustration.
That’s when she felt it. She wasn’t really certain what it was, or whether it was real, but she felt something, a presence, like a ghost, passing close, near by. She unburied her face from the pile of scream-silencing bears and looked around. There was nothing obvious in sight. The sensation had gone, but as she turned to look around, she saw something out of the corner of her eye that instantly drew her attention. And that’s when she saw him. He was only a boy, but for some reason Lucy couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He was tall and young, a teenager, maybe 16 or 17, lean and fit and somewhat graceful looking. He had his back mostly towards Lucy and she could only see the side of his face. She found herself wishing he would turn around so she could get a better look at him. He was casually looking over the get-well card selection wearing a brown t-shirt and black jeans. He crouched down, perused the choices, selected a card and stood up and turned towards Lucy. As he turned he ran his fingers unassumingly through his shoulder-length dirty blond hair. As he tossed the hair back, Lucy caught a look at his face. He was gorgeous. A glint of light seemed to sparkle magically from his crystal clear blue eyes.
It took a minute for Lucy to realize that she was staring at him, with her mouth hanging open. She pulled the white robe tightly over the peeping kitten pajamas, and snapped her mouth shut so quick it made her teeth clack. She looked around embarrassed to see if anyone had heard it and ducked behind the bin of teddy bears. She rolled her eyes and groaned a little inside. Could this night get any more embarrassing?!! As if losing your mother wasn’t bad enough she needed a reminder of her impending puberty right now.
Why was she feeling this way?! She had seen cute boys before, but they had never affected her quite like this. Oh she had been awkward and geeky and quiet and shy but she had never actually hidden behind something before. There was something magnetic about him, almost magical, like she was under a spell, but she decided it just couldn’t be that. He was just a boy. It must have to do something about her and her situation. Times of stress often left you vulnerable to swings in hormones. She was not herself, that’s all, but she could easily regain her composure through an exercise of willpower she decided. Yes, that’s all it was. She stood up. He was still there. She quickly slid back again. So much for willpower!
A couple years back boys didn’t faze her at all. She had played kickball and soccer with them without even thinking about it. But now she was thirteen – almost fourteen really; well, thirteen and three quarters actually; okay, thirteen and two-thirds – and everything was awkward. This was just another thing that made her miss her mom. She had just started talking about boys with her mom before the accident. It was horribly embarrassing. Every conversation was punctuated by squirming discomfort, but it did help her cope. She had learned all about the birds and the bees long ago, thankfully, so that hurdle hadn’t been too traumatic. She instantly wondered if Amanda could talk to her about boys. That would be nice. She seemed really confident and certain, though she had been divorced. She had no idea how that might skew Amanda’s impressions of dating. “Great, I haven’t ever been on a date and I’m already contemplating divorce!” she thought.
Oh, who was she kidding? She was just a kid. She desperately tried to shake the whole idea from her head but somehow couldn’t. She quickly peeked over the bin of stuffed animals to see if he was still there. He was. She quickly ducked back down. She couldn’t be certain, but she thought she saw him look her way.
Her whole life right now was such a disaster it seemed wretchedly unfair to be reminded of the dreaded minefield that was every adolescent girl’s social life. In any fair universe, losing a parent should exempt you from such mundan
e worries like boys for at least a week but obviously not. She decided the whole thing was a silly distraction. She had far more important things to think about now anyway – like living with Amanda or helping Yo-yo. She would just stay here and wait for Amanda to return. Yes…that’s exactly what she would do: hide behind a bin of teddy bears…from a boy she didn’t even know. “Ugh,” she groaned at her own lameness. Then she took another quick peek. He did look really good. Then she shot back down.
“Well this is stupid!” she thought to herself. Then she thought of her mother and Amanda and about what utterly confident, self-assured women they both are…were. They certainly wouldn’t go through life hiding behind bins of fuzzy animals would they? No, they would not. She suddenly thought, “I know what they wouldn’t do, but what would they do?” She really didn’t have an answer. What did she want to do? Well, she didn’t want to stay hidden behind a bunch of plush animals, that’s for sure. She wasn’t going to do anything rash, she decided, she wasn’t even going to go up and talk to him. She just wanted to not feel like a child for once. So, she was going to just walk around the gift shop like a normal person and if she just happened to find herself looking at cards near where he was, that was just fine too. She made up her mind, however her legs didn’t move but remained stubbornly crouched. She sighed, concentrated and then she shot up, a little too quickly perhaps. She pulled the robe tighter around her and stood up – straight and proud for a moment – then she saw him and she cringed a little, but at least she didn’t go back down.
He wasn’t looking her way but was still intent on selecting a card. Good. Now what? She couldn’t just go walk over there, not directly. Instead, she had to nonchalantly wander around the store, and THEN find her way to the card section to avoid suspicion. So where to start? She started by picking over the teddy bears, but she had already done that and there was only so much to pick over. So then where? She went to go look at the refrigerated cooler full of flowers. This required her to turn her back to him for a moment, but she pulled her hair in front of and behind her ears a few times and managed to turn just enough to keep him in sight. Great. Flowers seem satisfactory, now over to the glass shelves of knick-knacks: snow globes, key chains and shot glasses that said “Fabulous Harrisburg!” Lucy picked up one with a view of the capitol. Who buys this stuff? And in a hospital? Amanda would have said something witty about that. She put it down. She peeked back over her shoulder, still there. Take a breath, where to next?
