by Rinelle Grey
In the hotel, they’d been pretending to be husband and wife, sharing a bed had been part of that deception. Out here, there was no one to see the fact that they weren’t sleeping together, not in any sense of the words.
She’d made one bed simply because it was more efficient use of the branches. She hadn’t stopped to think about the fact that she and Brad weren’t a couple.
That it was dangerous to be this close to him. His presence was too tempting. She had to keep reminding herself that if they slept together again, they’d be mated for life. Lyrian tried to keep her breathing even. Tried not to think about reaching over to give Brad a hug.
On the surface, the gesture seemed so innocent. She could simply be saying thank you for all his help since he’d arrived.
But she knew that if she touched him, she’d lose any last bit of self control that she was hanging onto.
Brad seemed to have no such concerns, he reached out, his hand fumbling for hers, and when he found it, his fingers closed over hers.
Heat surged through Lyrian, and as Brad glanced over and his eyes darkened, she knew he felt it too. He rolled towards her, not touching, but close enough that she could feel the heat emanating from his body, and stared into her eyes.
“What are we doing here, Lyrian?” he asked, his voice soft.
She could feel the breath from his words on her cheek.
It was so tempting. She could just roll over, let her body fall against his, and let nature take its course.
She wanted to.
She was pretty sure he did too.
But he didn’t know the risks.
It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Brad. Not even that she would be unhappy to be bonded to him for the rest of her life.
Maybe he’d even want that too.
But both of them had other lives. Other responsibilities. They couldn’t have this.
She heaved a big sigh.
Brad released her hand, and reached up to her face, turning it gently towards him. “What is it?” he asked. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
How could she even begin to explain? “We can’t do this,” she said softly.
Brad stared into her eyes, his gaze intense. “Why not? What’s stopping us? You want it as much as I do, don’t you? I can make sure, this time, that you don’t get pregnant again, if that’s what’s worrying you.”
That hadn’t even occurred to Lyrian, and it wasn’t her main concern. “We can’t, Brad. We can’t have this. Once we find my brothers, you’re going to go back to America, and I have a clan to rule. It’s just not possible.”
Brad was silent. His eyes shifted away from hers.
Lyrian’s heart fell a little. She’d half hoped, after all they’d been through the last few days, and with Anarian here, that he’d immediately offer to stay. That was selfish of her.
Then Brad looked into her eyes, his expression intense. “Look, maybe there’s some way we can make this work. Flights aren’t that expensive, and I’ll be visiting often to see Anarian anyway. I know it’s not the same as if I were here all the time, but…” His voice trailed off, and he paused to lick his lips. “I really feel something for you, Lyrian. Something I’ve never felt with any other woman, and I don’t want to just give this up without even trying.”
Lyrian’s heart skipped a beat. Oh how she wanted to say yes, and throw herself into his arms.
It took all her willpower to shake her head. “I can’t, Brad. Yes, I want this too, but I know that if we do, you’re never going to want to leave. And I can’t be responsible for tearing you away from your commitments.”
Brad’s hand slipped down to her hip and pulled her towards him.
Lyrian didn’t even put up a token resistance. In reality, she ached to be closer to him. Her body almost sighed in happiness at resting up against his.
She was so tempted to throw caution to the wind, to let fate take its chances.
But she couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair. To either of them.
“We can’t, Brad,” she protested, but her voice was weak. Uncertain.
“We could try.” Brad caressed her cheek, bringing her closer and closer to not caring.
She needed to tell him. Lyrian heaved a sigh. “It’s not that simple for dragons.”
Brad’s hand paused, and he stared into her eyes. “What do you mean?”
Lyrian took a deep breath. “Dragon mating is different to humans. When we mate, we mate for life. There’s no changing our mind later.”
A frown creased Brad’s brow. “No changing your mind? Everyone can change their mind.”
His hand didn’t start moving again. In fact, he pulled it back, staring at her in confusion.
Lyrian almost wished she could take back the words. To go back to the caressing and the closeness. She could have enjoyed it for a little bit longer, even if she knew they couldn’t go all the way.
But it was too late now. She needed to explain.
“If dragons sleep together three times, they form a mating bond,” she explained. “A permanent bond that ties them together, forever.”
Brad stared at her. “A mating bond?” he repeated. “What sort of bond?”
Lyrian wasn’t quite sure how to explain. “It’s a magical connection of souls. Once it’s formed, dragons don’t change their mind. It never even occurs to them to look at anyone else. They have eyes only for each other.”
Brad sucked in his breath, but he wasn’t pulling away. In fact, he was staring at her, his eyes boring into her.
As though they were already mate bonded.
Lyrian could barely breathe. Was he going to choose her?
Could she possibly say no if he did?
Before she could decide, he pulled back, rolled away, and sat up, his back to her. “I’m sorry, Lyrian. I want to. I really do. I’d love nothing more than for us to be a family, all three of us. But I can’t. I just…” He ran his hands through his hair, looking back over his shoulder towards her, his eyes haunted.
Lyrian tried to tell herself she was okay with that. Tried to tell herself that he was making the right decision. She knew. She understood. But in reality, her heart was breaking. She didn’t want it to be true. She wanted him to say he could find a way.
Brad kept talking. “I care about you, Lyrian. You know I do. But I can’t just walk away from my job without warning. It's just all happening too quickly.”
Despite how much it hurt, Lyrian knew he was right. This wasn’t about her, or their feelings for each other. It was about something bigger than that. For both of them. As a dragon princess, she had responsibilities too. She should be the one pulling back from this, not sitting here hoping he’d decide it was worth it anyway.
She sat up and put her hand on his back, the closeness of that action tinged with bittersweet sorrow. “I understand,” she said softly. “I can’t give up my clan either.”
Neither of them said anything more. What was there to say? This just wasn’t an option. For either of them.
The sooner they accepted that, the better.
But for some reason, Lyrian’s heart refused to accept that.
Chapter 6
The next morning, Brad helped Lyrian fasten Anarian into the carseat, then they drove into Mungaloo. Their aim was to find Lisa, but Brad insisted on stopping at a café for breakfast first. They hadn’t had much to eat last night other than a few chocolate bars he’d packed for his flight and hadn’t eaten.
Lyrian was obviously impatient, but she didn’t object too much. From the way she wolfed down her breakfast, she was hungry too. Probably more so than him, since she was feeding Lyrian.
After they’d eaten, Brad headed for the pub, keeping a sharp look out for the car they’d seen the dragon in earlier. Brad had no idea where she’d gotten the car, or even if she’d be driving the same one again, but it was the best he could do.
Every dark coloured car that moved made him jump, but they made it to the pub without incident. Brad headed up to th
e room to grab the map as quickly as possible. He left the key on the counter when he was done, avoiding talking to the woman who was serving someone at the opposite end of the counter. He didn’t want to get caught in conversation. Every moment he was a way from Lyrian was a risk. If that dragon appeared again…
The thought hurried his feet, and he headed back out to the car, where Lyrian was thankfully safe. Brad felt a lot better once that first step was achieved. Then they drove to the first possible address they had for Lisa. His stomach was a bundle of nerves, and he wasn’t even sure if he hoped Lyrian’s brother was here, or not.
Their talk last night wouldn’t be banished.
Lyrian had seemed accepting of the fact that he couldn’t just walk away from his job. She didn’t seem to think it was all just an excuse, even though Brad felt it was.
It was easier to let her believe that he was being noble, and staying to help his people, than to admit that he was too afraid of failing her. His world was ordered, in control. Even in an emergency at the hospital, there were a set of procedures to be followed. And if you followed those to the letter, then even if something went wrong, you could tell yourself you’d done the right thing.
That there was nothing more you could do.
Out here, it seemed to just be chaos. When it came down to it, these dragons didn’t even seem to keep to their own rules of keeping their presence hidden. There was nothing you could count on. No rules or certainty to base any sort of plan on.
Brad just didn’t know how to cope with that.
He was just going to have to comfort himself with the fact that if he helped her find her brothers, then they would know what to do. They would be able to keep her and Anarian safe.
He drove slowly, on the pretence that he was scanning the sidewalk for dragons and the sky for freak thunderstorms, but in reality, he was just putting off the inevitable.
Because once they found Lyrian’s brother, it would be time for him to head back to America.
Alone.
Oh, sure, he’d come visit often. He wanted to be as much of a part in his daughter’s life as he could. But he and Lyrian couldn’t even have a casual relationship when he visited. With this dragons mating for life thing, that wasn’t an option.
Even if it did sound like the most wonderful thing in the world.
He should find it difficult to believe, that dragons had some weird, magical mating ritual that bound them for life. It was certainly something he would have laughed at if he’d seen anything like it printed in a medical journal. Or he would have a couple of years ago. But that was before meeting Lyrian. Before experiencing how he felt about her.
He already felt like leaving her would be like tearing himself in half. And that was before they’d formed this bond apparently.
He counted, just to be sure, but he and Lyrian had only slept together twice.
He almost wished she hadn’t told him. That they’d just slept together, and he could worry about solving the problems later. But he didn’t want the resentment that would have caused.
It was better this way, even if it didn’t lead to the solution he wanted.
“I’m sorry, Brad.” Lyrian’s voice was soft, and filled with the same pain he was feeling.
He turned back to her, a lump forming in his throat, his heart aching. “There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he said, his voice gruff. “None of this is anyone’s fault, it just is. No amount of wishing it were different would solve it.”
Lyrian shook her head, her eyes big and sad. “No, but I should have told you earlier. Back before you left the first time.”
Would he have believed her? She probably could have convinced him, shown him enough to make him believe.
But it wouldn’t have changed anything. Especially not now they had a baby together.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, tired now all of a sudden. “We can’t change the past, we can just push forwards to the future. Right now, we need to find your brother. After that, well, we’ll have to see what happens then.”
For once, he wasn’t planning ahead. He’d already seen that was pointless around dragons.
Plus, he didn’t want to.
In the here and now, he was with Lyrian. Chances are, he wouldn’t be in the future. So he didn’t want to know about it.
He pulled up in front of a low set brick house, and stopped the car. “You wait here,” he told Lyrian. “I’ll find out if Lisa lives here.”
“But I want to come too,” Lyrian protested.
Brad hesitated, but he really didn’t think that was a good idea. The less people who saw Lyrian and her vibrant blue hair and unusual pale skin, the better. “We have three houses to check out,” he reminded her. “It’s unlikely this is the right one. And we don’t want to wake Anarian until we’re certain.”
The baby hadn’t objected to the carseat as much this time, but Brad suspected if they were getting her in and out several times, she might change her tune.
Lyrian looked crestfallen. “All right,” she agreed reluctantly. “But be careful.”
“I always am,” Brad assured her. He’d had enough run ins with dragons this week. And the police.
He glanced up and down the road, but there were no signs of either police, or strange dragon women, so he slid out of the car and headed up the front path, planning his opening lines on the way.
His knock on the door produced a young woman, but not Lisa. Her blonde hair was straight. “Yes?”
“Hi, I’m looking for Lisa? Does she live here?”
To his surprise, an amused look came over her face. “You’re not the first one,” she pointed out, “You might have come a little further than most of them though. Are you from America?”
Brad felt a little stupid. Of course there would have been others looking for the mysterious woman who flew with dragons.
“Yes, I am,” he admitted. “Though I was here in Mungaloo for another reason.” He didn’t think it was a good time to mention his uncle, he didn’t really want anyone knowing who he was. And it didn’t matter anyway.
“Is she here?” he asked, dropping all the stories he’d made up about why he was looking for her.
The woman laughed. “No, no relation. She’s over on Stephen Street.”
That narrowed his search down. “Thanks for your help,” Brad said with a smile.
He headed back to the car, feeling his shoulders itch as the woman watched him curiously all the way.
He slid in next to Lyrian.
“Is she there?” she asked eagerly.
Brad shook his head. “Wrong address. But the woman did tell me where she is.” He pointed to the dot he’d marked on the map. “This one.”
“Are you sure?” Lyrian asked anxiously.
“Not completely, but it seems likely,” Brad said, as he started the car.
He headed over to the address he’d been given.
Lyrian stared out the front windshield, biting her lip. Brad couldn’t help glancing over at her. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Lyrian nodded. “I just can’t believe, after all this time, that I’m going to find Verrian.” Her eyes filled with tears.
Brad knew why.
Once they found her brother, that was it. It was over between them. If Verrian was, indeed, here, then Lyrian had responsibilities that she couldn’t leave. And a family.
He could see, in Lyrian’s eyes, that she was feeling the same thing. Except for her, her brothers were real people. Or real dragons anyway. Dragons that she loved as much as he loved his brother.
For her sake, he hoped Verrian was here, even if it meant he had no more excuses for staying.
She hesitated, staring into his eyes. “It will be so good to know that Anarian will have a clan,” she said softly, as though trying to explain why this was so important to her.
“Even if he isn’t here, you and Anarian won’t ever be alone,” Brad said softly. “You’ve got me.”
She turned towards him then, and
gave him a wide smile, reminding him achingly of that carefree summer a year ago. “You’ve been wonderful, Brad, but you have responsibilities back in America. I know you care about us, but you don’t need to be tied to me.”
Didn’t she get it? He already was.
Her, and Anarian. They were part of his heart. Part of his existence, whether he was here beside them, or home in America wondering what they were doing. Wishing he was here. There was no way now, or ever, that he could walk away and just forget they existed.
That realisation hit Brad like a hammer to the chest, making it hard to breathe for a few minutes.
He stared into Lyrian’s eyes, wishing he had some way to tell her all that.
Wishing there was time.
But there wasn’t. They needed to find her brother, so that she and Anarian could be safe. So that Verrian could do the job that Brad knew he couldn’t.
Brad would save his explanations for later, when there was time to make them. And maybe by then he’d have thought of a way to say it all without sounding like the blubbering fool he felt like.
So instead he just said, “You and Anarian will always be a part of my life, Lyrian. Surely you know that? But right now, we need to find your brother. So let’s go.”
She didn’t reply, just searched his eyes, biting her lip.
For some reason, Brad’s heart was jumping all over the place. He almost held his breath.
Slowly, she nodded. “Yes, we should do that.”
But she didn’t move.
Maybe she was as affected by all this as he was?
Brad wanted to stay here, like this, until she admitted it.
But they were sitting in a charred car, in front of a possible dragon hideout. Probably not the best place for it.
He put a hand on her knee. “We need to go.”
His words broke the moment. Lyrian nodded, stared at him again, then nodded again, more determinedly now. “Right, let’s go.”
Both of them climbed out of the car, then Lyrian paused. “Should I get Anarian out?” She turned and looked through the back window. “She’s asleep.”
Brad hesitated. He glanced over at the house, quiet and still, then back at the car. “Perhaps you should wait here with her. If Lisa isn’t here, then we won’t be staying. Seems pointless to get her and out when we don’t know yet.”
