by Chloe Walsh
"Just…just think about it, Karen," I growled as I rushed out of my office with my phone in my hand.
"Hey, man. You okay?" I asked, answering the moment I closed my office door. "Derek, are you all right?" I asked again when he didn't respond.
"I'm…" His voice was slurred and I held my phone tighter in my hand as a million different emotions coursed through me. "I'm…lost."
"Lost?" I asked softly as I made my way down to the lobby. "Why do you think you're lost, buddy?"
"I went for a walk," I heard him say. "But I don't remember my way home…"
"I'm coming, bud," I told him, emotion thick in my voice, as I stepped into the elevator and made my way down to the underground parking lot. "I'll find you. Just…just sit tight and wait for me, okay?"
"Yeah," he whispered. "I'm sorry, Kyle."
"You're fine," I assured him as I cranked the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. "You're gonna be just fine. I'm on my way."
****
Derek
I felt like a world class idiot as I sat on the edge of a sidewalk, in a street I should know, but couldn't remember. I was losing my mind. I couldn't remember why I walked in this direction. I couldn't fucking remember which direction this direction was. The only thing that had been on my mind when I left the house this morning, was to get as fast and as far away from that woman as possible.
Jesus Christ. If I wasn't so numb, I'd be worried. I should be worried, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything. I looked down at my hands. They were shaking, literally shaking violently, and if I hadn't looked down at them I wouldn't have known.
I pinched the skin over my knuckles hard.
Nothing.
I slammed my fist against my forehead.
Nothing.
Was I in my body anymore? I felt like I had floated out of it and was looking down at this worthless piece of shit, curled up on the side of the road, waiting on his best friend to come and bail him out. Again.
My phone started to ring on the ground next to me and it was like I had a ten second delay or something because it took me that amount of time to register the fact that I needed to pick it up and talk.
"Hello," I mumbled.
"Derek, sweetheart it's mom. Don't hang…" I flinched and pressed end. I felt that. Shame. It came in abundance when I thought of my parents. They were worried, but it wasn't enough. It didn't change anything. Fuck.
I registered footsteps approaching a few seconds before a tall figure slumped down on the sidewalk next to me. His arm came around my shoulders and I shuddered.
And then I started to cry.
****
Kyle
"Come on, buddy," I said softly as I squeezed Derek's shoulder. "Let me take you home."
"I can't go anywhere," he said in a panicked tone as he tried to push me away. "Kyle, don't…I need to back. I'm not leaving the hill."
"All right," I crooned as I pulled him to his feet and led him over to the car. "I'll take you back to the hill. I promise…just get in the car for me." It killed me to promise him I'd take him back to the source of his pain, but I knew if I tried to take him back anywhere else he'd run.
He slumped in the passenger seat and I watched him from the driver's seat as he tried to fasten his seatbelt. He couldn’t. His hands were shaking too badly.
Leaning over, I silently fastened his seatbelt before cranking the engine and willing my own hands to calm the fuck down. I was shredded. I was ripped clean open watching him falling apart. "Thanks, Kyle," he whispered.
"For what, man?" I managed to squeeze out.
"For keeping me alive."
My lungs squeezed so tight in my chest I struggled to breathe. "Always, Derek," I whispered. "Always."
We drove in silence back to Thirteenth Street and I spent every second of the drive plotting. I was going to have to call his parents. He would freak, but I couldn’t do this on my own. What if he died? Jesus, what if he fucking died? I would be responsible. He needed help…He needed help and I couldn’t give it to him. I wasn’t good enough for this…
Pulling into the driveway of my old house, I braced myself for battle. "Der," I said as I opened the passenger door for him. "I think it's time to call your folks."
"No," he growled as he stormed up the porch steps.
Taking his keys from his hand, I unlocked the front door and led him inside. "I'm calling them, Derek," I said in a stern tone of voice. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore…" My voice broke and I closed my eyes, inhaling slowly in a bid to calm myself. The image of my mother's body, slumped over the steering wheel of our car flooded my mind. I shook my head and focused on my best friend. "I can't watch you do this to yourself." I stared straight into his lifeless green eyes. "I will not be the one who opens this door one morning and finds you dead. I've been there," I whispered. "I won't sit back and wait for you to kill yourself."
****
Derek
"I'm not going to kill myself, Kyle," I said quietly as I stepped past him and went into the kitchen. "I wouldn’t do that."
He followed me into the kitchen and grabbed my shoulder, swinging me around to face him. "Are you sure about that?" he demanded and I could hear the anguish in his voice. His blue eyes were glassy and I knew I was hurting him. "You've been doing a fucking fantastic job at proving me right so far," he hissed as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Drinking yourself unconscious. Whoring your body to every piece of skirt who looks twice at you…"
"You're calling me a whore?" I roared, shoving him in the chest hard. He didn’t even stagger so I shoved him again. "You're one to talk, Kyle. Just because you've turned into Brad fucking Pitt now, doesn’t mean I don't remember your life pre-Angie."
"Brad Pitt?" Kyle shook his head as stepped away around me. "Pre-Angie? What the fuck are you talking about, dumbass?"
"You're a family man now," I snapped as I moved to the kettle and flicked it on. "And I'm happy for you. I am. But don't you dare criticize me for doing the very things you used to do before you met Lee." Shaking my head in disgust, I leaned against the kitchen counter and stared out the window. "I've supported you through thick and thin, Kyle," I growled. "When Frank died. When you had the car accident with Rachel. When your girl lost her baby…When you needed help with Hope…Everything. I've had your back through everything. Don't even think about selling me out to my parents now."
"It’s not about selling you out. It's about keeping you al…Goddammit, Derek," Kyle growled as he slammed the door of the refrigerator shut. I swung around to meet his glare. "You think you could buy some fucking milk?" He looked me up and down and winced. "Or maybe some food? You are starving yourself. Don't you look in the goddamn mirror anymore?" he hissed. "You're bones are jutting out…everywhere."
"Sorry, mister fucking money bags," I snapped as I poured some water into a mug along with a spoon of instant coffee. "We're not all flush with cash, asshole. We normal folk don't have a spare couple million in our change jar." Handing him a cup of black coffee, I glared at him. "Guess you're gonna have to slum it with me today. It's this or go back to your mansion, trust fund baby." I felt like an asshole the minute the words had slipped out of my mouth.
It was below the belt and I knew it.
Kyle froze, his face remained impassive, but the hurt in his eyes made me want to slam my head against the wall. He clicked his tongue as he stared at me. "Trust fund baby," he mused in a quiet voice–in an eerily quiet voice. He tilted his head to one side and folded his arms over his chest. "You can throw whatever shit you want at me," he said in a soft tone of voice. "Blame me. Take all your goddamn issues out on me. Punch my face in and hate me for everything if it makes you feel better," he said, his voice growing thicker, huskier. "But don't ever call me that again."
I shook my head. I was disgusted with myself. "Dude, I'm…"
"You don't have the slightest clue of what it feels to slum it, Derek," Kyle choked out. He was right. I didn't. I didn't kn
ow what it felt like because he was carrying me. "You have no clue," was all he said before turning around and walking out of the room. The front door slammed and I sagged against the counter.
Well, I'd done it this time.
I'd pushed away the only friend I had left…The only friend who mattered to me.
Rubbing my hands over my face, I willed myself to calm down and breathe, but it wasn’t happening.
I was screwed…
The front door slammed again and Kyle stormed back into the kitchen. "Goddammit to hell," he roared, kicking the refrigerator door on his way over to where I was standing.
Grabbing me by the shirt, he glared down at me, his eyes full of trepidation. "I won't call them. But if you even think about hurting yourself," he whispered. "I will personally drive you to closest hospital and sign you in. Is that clear?"
"Clear," I whispered as I shoved his hands away and pushed him back. We both stood frozen, chests heaving, eyes locked on one another, until both of us lunged forward simultaneously and hugged it out quickly.
"You good?" Kyle asked gruffly as he pushed me away and stepped back.
I sighed heavily. "I will be. Are you?"
"I will be," he said with a smirk as he sauntered off in the direction of the living room. "When I kick your ass on FIFA."
"Oh, man," I chuckled as I trailed after him. Kyle couldn’t play Xbox to save his life. "Lead the way."
****
Chapter 14
Boy's gonna shine
Lee
I often thought back to the days when I didn't have a cell phone. Those were simpler times. If someone wanted to speak to me they could seek me out and if I didn't want to speak to them I could close my front door. I glared at the screen of my phone as it flashed the word Home over and over. My heart felt like it was being squeezed inside of my chest. It was almost as if the man could put his fist through the phone and into my rib cage. The fear, even from a phone call, caused my hands to sweat and I held the phone a little tighter for fear of dropping it.
The way I saw it I had two choices. Answer my father and listen to his demands and threats, or ignore him and wait in fear until his patience ran out and he came looking for me. It was easier to ignore my mother. She wouldn't come for me, not like daddy would.
I knew he would.
There was an altercation between Kyle and my father when I was in hospital. Kyle told me that he arrived into my hospital room, while I was in theater, drunk as a skunk and slurring abusive threats and demands. Kyle had him sent him on his way with a return ticket to Louisiana, but I figured that was more for Tracy's benefit than mine. She didn't want my father to know where she was and Kyle was more than obliging when it came to her…
However Daddy had returned the day before I was discharged and demanded that I come back home to Montgomery with Hope. When I refused and told him I wasn't leaving Kyle, he had flipped out and accused me of abandoning him. I had quickly figured out he'd read the papers and discovered the vastness of Kyle's wealth. I think daddy always knew Kyle had money, but when we had spoken on the phone I never mentioned anything about his wealth–or the fact that I was having his baby.
Daddy discovered my new family when Kyle had flown him to Colorado to be tested for a kidney. I was pretty ashamed to admit, even to myself, that I was glad I was in a coma and in the safety of a hospital when Kyle dropped that bombshell…
When I refused to go home with him, he had plenty to say on the matter. I couldn't count the number of times he had called me a slut before slapping my face. It wasn't a hard slap, but Kyle happened to walk into the room as it happened and went berserk. I'd never seen him lose control like that. He was spitting and snarling and the speed of his fists had been a blur in my vision. Both of them had ended up being escorted from the hospital grounds.
When Kyle finally coaxed his way back in, four hours later, he had a black eye and a busted lip. Kyle had promised me that daddy was out of our lives. He told me daddy wouldn't be back, but I wasn't that naïve. Kyle had money, a lot of money, and my father was an opportunist. He would be back. I had no doubt about it. I could feel trouble brewing and I was quickly learning that things never sailed smoothly for us.
"You gonna answer that, Hun?" Linda asked, startling me from my reverie. Hope and I were sitting in Kyle's office with Linda, having been dragged out of bed at six o clock in the morning by a very agitated Kyle, and driven to the hotel to 'hang out with' a very unwell looking Linda. Seriously, the woman looked like death warmed up. I actually thought she needed a doctor more than company. Kyle hadn't seemed to notice, but I had. I'd asked her several times in the past few hours if she was feeling okay, but she kept avoiding answering my question so I dropped it. I knew what it felt like when people nagged and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable…
Kyle had some important meeting in Denver with his father and according to Kyle, I distracted him from business... I didn’t understand him. Not one bit. I'd been doing well, spending a few hours every day with the past couple of weeks, on my own at the house with my baby. I hadn’t broken any of his rules and I never went outside. If he didn’t want us to be in the house without him then he should have kept us in the hotel. It made no sense…or maybe it made too much sense and I was afraid to delve into the reasons why Kyle was keeping us tucked away. Every time I thought about his possible motives, one name popped into my head.
Rachel…
"No," I mumbled as I sent the call to voicemail before switching it off and forcing my fear to the back of my mind. "It's not important."
"She's getting so big, Lee," Linda cooed as she gazed lovingly at Hope, who was sleeping in her stroller next to my chair. "It's frightening how much she looks like Kyle."
"Yeah," I said as I smiled down at my daughter. "Just as long as she doesn't get his attitude. I don't think I'm ready for a female version of Kyle. Can you imagine trying to make her listen to me when she's a teenager?"
"You have no idea," Linda chuckled as she sat back in her chair. "Boy's like a wrecking ball. You'll have your work cut out for you if she has his pigheadedness. I went gray within the first month of knowing him."
"What was he like when he was younger?" I asked, curious to hear more about Kyle as a teenager. Linda had been the one who'd taken care of him when he moved in with his grandfather. Kyle adored her.
"He was horrible." Linda smiled fondly which was a contradiction to her words. "Rude, hormonal, wild and headstrong. He never listened to a word Frank or I said. A typical moody teenager."
"Wow," I muttered unsure of what to say. I wasn't like that as a teenager. I wouldn't have dared. Oh god…I glanced nervously down at Hope which caused Linda to laugh.
"Relax, Hun," she laughed. "If she has a tenth of Kyle's determination running through her veins she'll be okay. Why do you think Frank left everything to Kyle?"
"Kyle told me his grandfather left him the hotels out of guilt," I mumbled. "You know…because of how his father abandoned him."
"And you believe that?" Linda shook her head and laughed. "Lee, if Frank wanted to stem his guilt he would have given Kyle what he gave Mike. A nice little apartment and a few thousand dollars to start him off in life. Frank left everything to Kyle because he knew Kyle was the best man for the job. Frank wasn't a fool, Lee. He always knew that David didn't have the head for business. His mind has always been focused on spending money, not earning it. Mike didn't have the drive or determination. Kyle had every single quality Frank felt was needed in his successor. He was damn proud of that boy."
I gaped in confusion. "But Kyle said…"
"Kyle says a lot of things," Linda said with a smirk. "A lot of which is bullshit. He sees the world in his own peculiar way. He drums to his own beat. He always has. That's what makes him so successful. He's ruthless and soft-hearted all in one. Do you know in the three years he's been in charge the annual turnover for sixteen of the hotels has increased by twenty-eight percent? And thirty seven percent for the other four?"
/>
"No," I whispered and I felt like an idiot for not knowing any of this. This was the man I was going to marry and I knew nothing about his professional life.
"He has the same golden touch his grandfather had," she said in a soft tone. "Frank adored Kyle. We both did."
"Were you in love with Frank?" I covered my mouth with my hand in mortification. I shouldn't have asked that, but I'd always been curious. Kyle had told me that Linda and his grandfather had raised him together–that his grandfather had been very fond of his hotel manager. I'd always wondered if they had been romantically involved.
"I was," Linda said with a fond smile. "You're the first person to ask me outright."
"But…he was old," I blurted out. Jeez, could you be any more blunt, Lee?
Linda laughed. "Just how young do you think I am?" she asked through a fit of coughing.
"I don't know…" I mumbled as I studied her face. "Forty-eight. Forty-nine?"
"Ah," Linda grinned. "I knew there was a reason I like you, Lee Bennett. I'm sixty four years old."
"Wow," I mumbled. "I hope I look like you when I'm your age." Linda was beautiful. I would have never guessed she was a day over fifty. Well, maybe today I would. She looked…below par.
She grinned at me before folding her arm and resting in the chair. "I first met Frank when I was twenty-five years old." She smiled at nothing in particular as she carried on. "I remember the first time I laid eyes on him I was crushed. He was breath-taking." She smiled knowingly at me. "He was all wild hair, blue eyes and dimples, hot-tempered…so handsome."
I blushed, feeling a little awkward thinking about how hot Kyle's grandpa was. I squirmed in my chair and watched as Linda's smiled faltered. She sighed heavily. "Frank was a mess when we first met," she said heavily. "He was grieving his wife, Lucy, and struggling to deal with their son's erratic behavior while running the hotel. It was just this hotel back then." She leaned forward and stared at me steadily. "And if you think Kyle is hard work, you should have met his father when he was a teenager." She shuddered. "David was impossible. Spoilt, entitled and deliberately cruel. He used to play on the fact that his mother was dead to get what he wanted."
