by Robyn Thomas
“You don’t know what you’re missing by not cultivating a close relationship with your family.” He thought she’d finished but she’d only paused for breath. “How ironic is it that I’ve got a richer life than you do?”
An involuntary sound was wrenched from his throat and he recognized, with a strange sense of detachment, that it was the sound of his heart breaking.
“Scoff all you want,” she said, clearly misinterpreting his pain, “but you can’t put a price on the things I value. Those of us who aren’t full of our own importance consider things like love and family and engagements life-changing.”
“You have changed my life.”
She worked her engagement ring off her finger, her eyes never leaving his. “Yeah? Well, you’ve taught me my instincts aren’t to be trusted.” She offered the ring to him. “I don’t feel right about taking it with me to the hotel.”
“It’s yours. I want you to have it.”
“It’s a beautiful ring, Jake, but wearing it tests my sanity. I can handle reading about our engagement for a while, but the ring is like a promise that won’t be kept.”
Shadows didn’t belong in her eyes. She held herself so tightly in check that he feared she’d snap in two. His hand itched with the need to smooth over her jaw, trail down her neck, draw her closer via slight pressure on her nape, kiss her— “You should come to Brad and Skyla’s wedding,” she said, as if sensing the need to put a lid on his thoughts. “It’s on a boat and we’ll cruise around Port Phillip Bay during the ceremony and the reception. If you listen closely to their vows, you might learn something.” She pressed the ring into his hand. “You know what? I want you to come. I dare you to. I don’t fancy spending the whole evening explaining to Brad’s family why my new fiancé was unable to take time out of his busy schedule to accompany me.”
“Dammit, Beth,” he said roughly. “You know I can’t attend a public event.”
“You’d be surprised what I know.” She spoke with quiet dignity, her hand folding his fingers over the ring. “But you should know that it’s an ideal location as far as security goes, and no one would question your presence at Skyla’s wedding because obviously you’d be there with your fiancée. It’s your choice, but opportunities like that don’t come along very often.”
She knew he wouldn’t attend the wedding even though he was desperate to go. How could she read him so well?
He wasn’t quite sure how she’d removed them, but when she turned away, her spike-heeled shoes were dangling from her left hand. With her hair free of its constraints, her enormous collar askew and her feet bare, she looked like she’d returned home from an elegant function. With him.
His traitorous mind leapt ahead to add a softly rounded baby bump to the image and he’d reached for her before he knew it.
The mere idea of her pursuing that dream with someone else was unbearable.
“Jake?”
She had every right to question him, and yet he couldn’t give her an answer. Telepathy was about the best he could do and so he sent a very clear message. I love you and I wish I could be the one.
“Sssh.” He drew her body back against his. She didn’t resist, and yet he sensed her reluctance. He was confusing her. And himself. She’d been about to walk away, out of his life, and he needed something from her before she left. One more crumb. One tiny, insignificant moment that he could swell out of all proportion and remember always.
“Dance with me, Beth.”
“I can’t.”
There were tears in her voice, and he felt his own eyes well up.
“Then just stand still and let me dance with you.”
He hadn’t cried in years, but couldn’t help himself as her body sank back against him. She didn’t turn around, didn’t speak.
She didn’t need to. He tightened his arms around her waist and thousands of sharp-edged beads abraded his hands. They seemed to warn him off, yet she was soft beneath the pointy surface. It was wrong that his last memories of her would be studded with pinpricks of jagged crystal from a dress she hadn’t chosen.
She started and touched her fingertips to her neck. One of his tears had landed on her. With a strangled sob, she broke free of his embrace and sent him an anguished look before scurrying down the steps to the observatory door. He heard her muffled conversation with Keith, but remained where she’d left him long after the heavy wooden door had clicked shut.
She was gone and nothing would ever fill the gaping Beth— sized hole right through the center of his soul.
…
With blind faith, Beth accepted the heavy piece of clothing Ken handed her and thrust her arms through it when he told her to.
Tears blinded her, yet she understood that he wouldn’t let her cross the yard without a disguise. Her house was crawling with people, the Emperors, heaps of security personnel, Leanna and her crew, even Hugh and David and their entourages, but she’d never felt more alone.
She let Ken spirit her inside through the kitchen and managed to mumble something about her bedroom when he looked to her for direction. He checked the hall, then escorted her to her room, giving her shoulder an awkward pat before turning his back on her and folding his arms across his chest. Presumably he was going to guard her door. She had more important things to worry about than his overzealous work ethic.
With the door locked she unzipped her fancy beaded frock with its tattered hem, and she let it slither to the floor like the worthless piece of window-dressing it was. Wearing a designer gown didn’t change who she was. Jake had wasted his money. She climbed into bed in her underwear, drew the quilt up, tucked it under her chin, and prepared herself for an outpouring of tears.
Her head was as heavy as a watermelon, her throat ached, and her eyes were gritty and swollen, yet she felt far too empty to squeeze tears out.
“A mere mortal blinded by a rock god,” she whispered. She hadn’t meant to believe the lies they’d spun, hadn’t planned on falling for him, and should’ve had the sense to keep the extent of her folly to herself. He was terribly upset on her behalf, and that was unfair. It wasn’t his fault she couldn’t distinguish between cold hard reality and a convenient farce designed to mislead the press.
She leapt out of bed and started packing a bag. Jake had enough drama in his life without finding himself engaged to a weepy moron who couldn’t read the exit sign dead ahead of her. She’d had more worries than she knew what to do with even before he’d arrived on her doorstep.
Pulling a pale pink tracksuit out of her wardrobe, she slipped into it and jammed her feet into running shoes. Physically outrunning the press wasn’t an option, yet she felt like she’d be able to do it if the need arose. She opened her bedroom door and peered out into the hall, surprised to see both of the Kens watching her through the two-inch crack.
“Um, hi.” She kicked herself for her lack of eloquence. “If it’s okay, I’d like to go to—”
“The Grand Hyatt,” the Kens said in unison.
“Exactly.”
There were plenty of reasons she’d prefer not to go to a hotel, but physical distance between her and Jake was vital if she still hoped to pull off the wedding of the year on Saturday.
She wasn’t sure how long it would be until she could return and the need to take some personal items with her was overwhelming.
“Excuse me,” she said to the broad back that, more often than not, was all she saw of either of the Kens. “Would you mind?” She pointed to a framed photo of her parents that hung on the wall, out of her reach. “That one there on the left,” she directed as his hand hovered in the general vicinity.
Her heart squeezed when he withdrew a clean whitehandkerchief from his jacket pocket and dusted her photo. She turned away and assessed the twenty or so pocket-sized photos on top of the crystal cabinet. The most recent photo of her and her mum caught her eye and she brushed her thumb across the glass, scarcely able to believe that a two-dimensional image was all she had left. It sat beside a photo of
her and Brad when they’d both been about nine, and a hinged frame that held photos of both sets of grandparents. A wave of nostalgia tripped her and she found herself blinking back tears as she chose a handful of her favorites.
Her life had been reduced to a bunch of captured memories, and that wasn’t the worst of it. There were any number of photos of Jake in print and on the internet, but she didn’t have a single one of them together. Not one.
Unable to see through the blur of fresh tears, she tried to summon some enthusiasm for the five-star night ahead. No one here would miss a bunch of family photos, but she’d be grateful for them while she lazed around alone in the unfamiliar lap of luxury.
“I’m all set,” she said a few minutes later, and laughed through her tears when the Other Ken withdrew an identical clean, white handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her with a theatrical flourish. When they’d first arrived she’d thought the Kens lacked any sort of compassion, but lately her customary ability to read people had failed her.
That wasn’t important. Her best friend was getting married on Saturday, and she had a thousand tiny details to attend to prior to then.
…
Jake’s songwriting session was a dismal waste of time. The solace it usually gave him was absent because his heart wasn’t in it. Beth had left and the loss was too raw and intensely personal to express outwardly. She’d been willing to abandon everything that was familiar and dear to her in order to distance herself from him, but in the five or so hours since she’d left, he hadn’t accomplished anything, not even the taming of his own chaotic thoughts.
Her home was oppressive without her in it. Even the wall seemed to be mocking him for making himself comfortable here while she was stuck in the kind of plush but impersonal hotel suite he loathed with a vengeance. She’d probably give anything to be able to load up her kitchen counters with glorious home-baked goods, but he’d stolen that option. He had access to all the things she relied on to get her from one day to the next, and they weren’t doing him a scrap of good. How ironic was it that they’d switched lives and neither of them was happy?
He’d wondered if Beth’s sanctuary would give him the samekind of boost it gave her, and now he knew the answer. It wouldn’t.
The lines had blurred while she was here, but they were razor— sharp now. Her history here was what gave her home its power.
Strumming a melancholy tune on his guitar, he imagined himself standing in the shadows at the foot of the stairs again, watching the reverence with which Beth touched her collection of tiny framed photos. Parting with some of them, even temporarily, had reduced her to tears. The people in those photos, all of them as far as he could tell, had been awarded a piece of Beth’s heart.
And it tore him apart that he wasn’t one of them. He’d never be one of them because the cost of sharing his life was too steep for her.
“Is he in here? Is this where he is?”
Brad’s voice, as sullen as ever, met his ears. He nodded to himself, accepting the inevitability of Brad’s visit, and waited for the door to burst open. Beth’s ex was nothing if not predictable, and yet he felt a strange affinity for the guy. Jake, too, would defend Beth every chance he got until the end of time. It was a side effect of caring for her. He wouldn’t have thought it was possible to fall so far, so fast, but he could share more in one minute with Beth than in a month with anybody else.
The door opened without any drama. One of his security team had taken control of it. Brad paused in the hallway, looking somber, and a wave of dread assaulted Jake. His time with Beth scrolled through his mind in a series of rapid-fire images, stealing his ability to move, speak, or even breathe. If something had happened to her he’d never forgive himself for allowing her to leave.
“Take it.” Brad stepped into the room and jiggled a glossy checkerboard envelope in his outstretched hand.
Pure relief arrowed through Jake, giving rise to curiosity. He set his guitar aside and walked closer. The envelope was flat so it was unlikely to contain a bribe, but he couldn’t imagine what else might be in there. When he tried to take it, Brad’s beefy fingers tightened. The contempt in his eyes was unmistakable, which only added to the absurdity of his words. “My mother wants to meet you.”
Unable to think of any response, let alone a suitable one, Jake
yanked the envelope from Brad’s grasp and slid it open to reveal a wedding invitation. What? Beth’s ex-husband was unusual, to say the least, but he wouldn’t print invitations to a farcical wedding that’d already been canceled. Would he?
Jake stared blankly at the stylish black-and-white invitation until the names on it finally registered. Brad and Skyla.
“You want me to come to your wedding?”
Brad made a rude noise in the base of his throat. “Not particularly, but Skyla wants to meet you without a video conferencing link, and my mother’s already phoned Beth to offerher congratulations. She has an engagement gift for you both that she’ll present during th e speeches on Saturday.” Brad paused and then shrugged in apparent nonchalance although he was far too tense to pull it off. “It’s a family cookbook, an heirloom that’s very close to my mother’s heart. And before you ask, Skyla knows and she wants Beth to have it. Usually it’s gifted to a daughter-in-law when she has her first baby, but my mother feels compelled to break a long-held tradition.” He gestured in the general direction of the dining rooms. “We’ll all get to sample the recipes because Beth will work her way through it.”
Jake’s world tilted sharply as he realized he wasn’t being asked to attend the wedding on his own merits, but rather as
Beth’s fiancé. Against all reason, Beth’s ex was here on her behalf.
Brad didn’t think much of Jake and yet he was willing to overlook that to save Beth the embarrassment of attending his wedding without her new fiancé.
“Skyla is welcome to visit here, but I can’t attend a public function.” He spoke bluntly, hoping to keep it simple and end the discussion. “Security would be impossible. I’m sure your mother will understand.”
“She’s a reasonable woman,” Brad allowed. “So is Beth.”
Brad might as well have screamed “Make an exception, damn you,” but he wasn’t aware that Beth had already returned the ring.
The engagement, even the outward pretense of it, was over.
“Beth and I aren’t together. Anymore.” Beth was entitled to her privacy, and yet it seemed she got precious little of that from Brad, so it was difficult to know where to draw the line.
“Does she know that?”
“She knows. It was her decision.”
Brad shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “She’s in love with you. People would sell their soul for what you’re walking away from—before I met Skyla, I was one of them.”
Jake was left staring at the other man’s back.
Brad paused in the doorway. “I caught your interview on the entertainment channel. Beth looked like someone you’d normally
date, but she shot that image right out of the water as soon as she opened her mouth. Interesting, don’t you think? Or haven’t you bothered watching it? The ads I’ve seen say it’ll show again at six.”
Brad turned and disappeared from view.
Jake walked into the hall and watched security escort him out
the front door. The fact they’d allowed him in was odd, although Beth had probably arranged a high-priority security clearance for him. He checked his watch. Almost six, so he headed for the couch in his and Beth’s sitting room.
Three hours later, having recorded the interview and having watched it countless times, he switched the TV off and dropped his face into his hands. With a very personal ax to grind, knowing that his family was categorically off-limits in interviews, Leanna had tried to trick Beth into answering for him.
And Beth had accepted the challenge. Initially he’d been appalled that she was willing to speak publicly about a situation— and peop
le—she knew nothing of, but she’d spoken with authority and integrity and somehow managed to cast a flattering light over everyone involved. It was the closest thing to a miracle he’d ever seen. And in return, he’d banished her from her home without thanking her or explaining that Leanna had been the cause of the rift within his family.
Not only that, he was making himself comfortable in her private sanctuary knowing that on Saturday, while she was standing up for her ex-husband at his second wedding, she’d be bombarded with questions about her new, yet absent, fiancé.
There wasn’t a man alive who could justify treating Beth that way. And if he had to crawl to her disapproving, overprotective ex for help to avoid it, then that’s what he’d do.
He couldn’t be a part of Beth’s life long-term, but for one day, he’d pretend otherwise in order to get her that cookbook. His own mother’s heirloom quilt meant the world to him and he sensed that Brad’s family felt the same about their precious cookbook. If Beth had it, she’d be an integral part of their family forever.
He’d share Beth’s family vicariously, sucking up the crumbs
Skyla tossed his way even if it meant he had to confess he was her brother. He’d thought having a sister would fill the void he’d had since he lost contact with his family, but it wouldn’t. He wanted to belong with Beth, to know what she was celebrating and what she’d cooked to share with her loved ones. Maintaining a connection with Beth, however tenuous, would define who he was in a way nothing else could. She was like his private source of kryptonite, but her power came from this house. He couldn’t stay, she couldn’t leave, he couldn’t cut ties.
It was a mess. It was also the most hopeful moment of his life.
…
Being stuck in a luxurious hotel suite without access to Jake made Beth’s nerves feel raw. Her emotions were barely contained, and both Brad and Skyla were winding her up tighter and tighter.
