by Indiana Wake
She broke off when Steven’s hand laid over hers.
“You didn’t know. It’s not your fault. I need to make my peace with it now.” His voice was tight. “She wouldn’t want me mourning all the time.”
“I suppose not.” Andrea bit her lip. “I feel awful now, I’m so sorry.”
Steven squeezed her fingers.
“Don’t be so upset. You didn’t know. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Are you always this forgiving because you’re a missionary or because you’re a good person?”
Steven cocked an eyebrow.
“Don’t they normally go hand-in-hand?”
“Not in my experience.” Andrea shook her head. “A missionary doesn’t always have to be a good man.”
Steven was giving her a strange look. Andrea felt like she was under scrutiny by her tutor when she had done something he hadn’t been expecting.
Then Steven was shaking his head.
“For someone so young, you’re a very cynical person.”
“My parents have often said that.”
“I bet they have.” Steven cleared his throat and stepped to the side. “You know where Mary’s room is.”
Andrea didn’t want to leave. But the awkward atmosphere was making her nervous. So, she nodded and scurried around Steven, keeping her head down as she hurried to Mary’s room.
Mary was sitting up in bed, looking pale but her eyes were bright as she looked up from her book. She beamed when she saw Andrea.
“Andrea!”
“Hey, Mary.” Andrea shut the door and reached the bed, hugging Mary before she sat on the edge. “Amy asked me to drop some supplies by and I thought I would come and see how you were doing.”
“Oh, thank you.” Mary put her book aside. She was smiling now. “You didn’t need to do that. I wouldn’t want to put you out.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m close by and I wanted to help.”
Mary grinned. There was a sly look that Andrea recognized as a scheming expression.
“Help who? Me or you?”
That was a strange remark. Andrea frowned.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing.”
Andrea rolled her eyes.
“I wish you’d stop talking in riddles.”
“Sorry. Force of habit.” Mary smoothed the sheets around her and sat forward. “Now, tell me what’s going on with you? And how’s Amy? I can’t wait to see her.”
Chapter Five
Steven was half-wishing that Andrea hadn’t turned up. The emotions she had brought up before came crashing back again, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with them.
Maisie had been the love of his life. They had been planning a lifetime together... but that hadn’t happened. Steven thought he would never be able to look at another woman like he had looked at Maisie, but Andrea had changed that in one meeting. He felt something hit him hard in the chest and he could hardly breathe. There was something about Andrea that Steven couldn’t pull away from.
It felt like a betrayal to his wife. She had been dead for some time now, but Steven still found himself thinking about her, wondering what she would be saying now. He didn’t want to think about anyone else when there was Maisie.
Maisie would tell him he was being silly, of course, she would. But that didn’t stop Steven from feeling shrouded in guilt.
He had to keep his distance or things were going to get messy.
But, try as he might, Steven found himself hovering near the door, waiting to see Andrea again. It was starting to get dark outside and he had noticed someone waiting around outside. From the look of him, it looked like the man who had accosted Andrea earlier. He appeared to be waiting for her.
Steven hadn’t liked the way the man had been handling Andrea, and Andrea clearly didn’t like it, either. He wasn’t comfortable about letting her go out there alone, even if it was just to cross the street.
After what seemed like an age, Andrea appeared, shrugging into her coat. She was preparing to leave. And Steven didn’t see a chaperone with her. Gareth, his father and brother were too much of a gentleman to let Andrea go home alone, yet here she was.
Andrea was hurrying toward the door, absently tugging on her gloves. Steven jumped in front of her, blocking her way.
“You’re not going out there alone, are you?”
Andrea blinked up at him. It took a moment for her to realize he was there.
“I normally do. What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong with it? It’s dark and I saw that man who accosted you before hanging around. You really want to go out on your own?”
He saw Andrea hesitate, glancing toward the door. Then she bit her lip and shook her head.
“Maybe not.”
That settled it. Steven wasn’t leaving her alone. He took her arm and led her toward the door.
“I’m escorting you. No arguments on that.”
Andrea didn’t say anything as they headed outside. She didn’t even pull away. If anything, Steven was sure she slightly leaned into him. Was that her doing that or was Steven pulling at her? It was more likely the latter, but Steven found himself hoping it was the former.
He had to stop that. It wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be thinking about anything beyond being a gentleman to this young woman. But Steven knew he was lying to himself.
Martin was nowhere in sight when they stepped outside, but Steven was sure he was hanging around nearby. He would have to escort Andrea to the front door.
They crossed the street, Steven still holding onto Andrea’s arm. Without conscious thought, he slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow and held onto her hand with his arm as they walked. There was a small hitch of breath from Andrea. Did her fingers tighten against his arm? Steven hoped so.
Stop it. That was enough. She didn’t want to be pawed.
Andrea was silent as they walked toward the boarding house. Steven looked down at her. Her face was half-bathed in moonlight and her raven hair seemed to be glowing. She looked like an ethereal princess.
“You’re very quiet.”
Andrea chewed at her lip. Steven could see the slight blushing in the faint light.
“I’m still embarrassed by what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to cause offense.”
She was still upset about that? Steven gave her a smile.
“I know you didn’t. Don’t fret so much about it. This was some time ago now.”
“How long were you married?”
“Three years.” Steven swallowed back the hard lump in his throat. “She died two years ago now, but it’s been very hard to let go.”
“I can understand that.”
“You can?”
Andrea nodded sagely.
“It was a good chunk of your life, someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. It’s going to hit you hard, naturally.” Then she was sniffing and swiping at her eyes. “I think we’re going to have to stop this conversation now. I’m going to cry if I carry on.”
“Oh, Andrea.”
Unable to stop himself, Steven slipped an arm around Andrea’s shoulders. Andrea leaned into him, her head leaning on his chest. It was a long time since a woman had leaned on him like this. Steven had forgotten how much he had missed it.
“You silly fool,” he said softly. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be crying, not you.”
“I know.” Andrea sniffed. “But I have a big soft heart.”
“I can tell.” Steven’s arm tightened around her. “You’re a good person, Andrea.”
“Does that go hand-in-hand with a soft heart?”
“Definitely.”
Any man who came across Andrea would be able to see that. It wasn’t difficult to see. Steven had spotted it straight away. How she wasn’t married already was beyond Steven.
Then again, men might have seen it already. But Andrea kept pushing them away. Maybe she didn’t feel the same. Or maybe she was looking for someone special.
That someone special wasn’t going to be him. Steven knew that. He wasn’t an ideal candidate for anyone. No one wanted to be placed second to a deceased woman. But there was a part of him that wished he would be.
It wouldn’t happen, and Steven should have let Andrea go and walked with her as it was appropriate, not with his arms about her with Mrs. Buxley clearing watching them from the window.
But he couldn’t. Wild horses wouldn’t be able to drag him away.
He was going to get himself in even bigger trouble if he wasn’t careful.
Chapter Six
“Oh, Andrea, I think you’ve got a visitor.”
Andrea looked up from her sewing to see Mrs. Buxley standing by the window.
“What do you mean, Mrs. Buxley?”
“It’s that young man from the mission, Steven. He’s heading this way.” Mrs. Buxley gave a knowing smile. “I think he’s coming to see you.”
Andrea felt her pulse race. But she knew it was foolish to get so excited over seeing Steven. Two weeks had gone by since he had arrived in San Francisco, and Andrea ended up seeing him almost every day, either at the boarding house or at the mission station. It was as if they gravitated toward each other, like moths to a flame. Andrea knew it was foolish to want anything more from a widower who clearly still loved his wife, but she couldn’t help herself.
She had to be sensible about this.
“Don’t be silly, Mrs. Buxley. He’s not coming to see me.”
“Well, he’s been coming over here every other day for two weeks now just to see you. What else would he be coming here for?”
“Maybe he wants to have a decent meal?” Andrea shot back.
Mrs. Buxley laughed.
“Cheeky.” She swatted Andrea’s shoulder with a duster as she left the room. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“That’s no…”
But Mrs. Buxley had already left. Andrea heard voices out in the hall, and then Steven appeared in the doorway. He looked vaguely amused.
“What was going on there?”
“What do you mean?”
“With Mrs. Buxley. She was talking in riddles. It’s like talking to Mary again.”
Andrea sighed and put her sewing aside as she stood.
“I shudder to think what she’s up to. Besides, haven’t you got God’s work to do down the mines? There isn’t really anyone to save over here.”
Steven laughed. Andrea had to bite her lip as a shudder went through her. Since when had a laugh been as attractive as the man?
“I’m not one for getting dusty. Gareth, Ben and Paul may like it, but I prefer to be above ground.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“Besides, I wanted to check how you were.” Steven nodded toward the window. “I saw Martin hanging around in the street. I wondered if he’d been bothering you.”
Andrea sighed. Martin had been bothering her, but from afar. He had been keeping his distance since Steven had put him on the ground. Andrea often saw him looking at the boarding house but he was not approaching it. Mrs. Buxley was a fearsome woman when she wanted to be, and seeing Steven coming over often seemed to have Martin scurrying back into the shadows.
Andrea hoped it would be like that for good. Not seeing the infuriating man up close was a relief. She just wished he would walk away and leave her alone. He must realize by now that she would never marry him... only Martin just couldn’t get that into his head.
“He’s backed off since you faced him down, but he just hangs around outside sometimes.”
“He’s not come in?”
“I think he’s a little scared of you.”
Steven smirked.
“Me?”
Andrea rolled her eyes.
“Don’t be smug about it, Steven. You can be intimidating when you want to be. And I think he’s a little scared of Mrs. Buxley too.”
“I’m not surprised. I’m a little scared of her.”
“Surely not?”
“Oh, yes. She’s got a way about her that can make a man squirm.” Steven glanced toward the window again, moving further into the room. “Sounds like Martin’s got the message.”
“Well, you did nearly twist his arm out.”
Steven spread his hands and grinned.
“What can I say? I’m a knight in shining armor. I rescue damsels by any way necessary. Anyway, I think he had it coming.”
The comment was so ludicrous that Andrea burst out laughing.
“I can just see you in a suit of armor and chainmail.”
“Out here? Not a chance. The sand would get in the joints.”
“Ouch.” Andrea then saw the weather outside and groaned. “Oh, great. I need to get the sheets in. It looks like a storm’s coming.”
“There was the promise of rain today.” Steven smiled. “Do you need a hand?”
Andrea smiled back. She wasn’t about to part with Steven just yet.
“I won’t object to that.”
It was difficult not to move too close to Steven as they headed out the back and hurried over to the sheets on the line. The wind had picked up and they were flapping and in danger of pulling loose.
This was ridiculous; Andrea shouldn’t have been thinking like this. She was going to be falsely led to believe something was happening. Only she knew that Steven may have seen her as a friend, someone to help, but that would be it. Nothing more would happen, and Steven’s actions had made it clear it was only to be friendship.
Andrea just wished she could tell him to stop coming over to see her, as she was beginning to fall for him and he was now always in her thoughts. This was going to go badly wrong. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell him to walk away.
They began to gather the sheets in, laughing as the laundry tried to billow out of their hands and fly across the yard. Andrea didn’t think there was any point in folding it, not with the wind picking up. But she did try, which caused a lot of problems. Steven just snatched everything from the line, leaving the pegs where they were, and dunked the sheets into the basket, which had been rolling around like a tumbleweed.
“Watch out!”
Andrea looked up seconds before a sheet hit her in the face. She squealed and flapped about, but it tangled around her. She could hear laughing from Steven, and she flailed in his direction.
“Stop giggling and let me out!”
“Sorry, I thought you saw it coming.”
Hands reached for the sheet on the outside and then Andrea had the sheet taken from her face. Steven was still laughing. He had lost his Stetson in the wind, his dark hair being ruffled briskly. His eyes twinkled as he tried to peel the sheet off Andrea.
“Come on, silly. Let’s get you out of there.”
“I’m not silly! I didn’t see that!” Her arms still imprisoned, Andrea shoved him. “Just get me out of here.”
“In a moment.” Steven stepped back and folded his arms. “I just want to capture the moment.”
Andrea groaned. Then she launched herself at him, colliding with Steven. Steven tried to keep his balance, but he toppled over and landed on the ground, Andrea on top of him.
“Hey!” Steven coughed and rolled them, pinning Andrea down. “That’s not fair!”
“It’s very fair.” Andrea managed to tickle him through the sheet. “You’re being mean.”
“Oh, really?” The smile died a little. Steven’s eyes darkened. Then he lowered his head. “What about now?”
Andrea was too startled to react when he kissed her. It was a brief, sweet kiss which made her mouth tingle as he eased back. Instinctively, she tugged her arms out of the sheet and reached for him.
“Steven…”
But before she could grab hold of him, Steven was rolling away, pushing himself to his feet. He didn’t turn back as he snatched up his Stetson and plonked it on his head. Andrea managed to sit up, pushing the sheet aside.
“Steven?”
“I’d better go.”
His voice sounded tigh
t. Andrea panicked. She jumped to her feet.
“Please, stay.”
“I can’t. Otherwise someone will be calling the banns on us.” Steven glanced up toward the house, and that was when Andrea saw Mrs. Buxley standing at the window. “I shudder to think what your landlady thought seeing me paw you like that.”
Andrea darted forward, grabbing Steven’s arm.
“I don’t care.”
Steven looked at her hand on his arm, and then he looked up at her. Andrea almost burst into tears at the distress in his eyes. He gave her a sad smile before squeezing her fingers and removing her hand.
“You might not, but I do. You deserve so much better than me.” He pressed a kiss to her hand before dropping it. “I’ll leave you alone now.”
“Steven…”
“Bye, Andrea.”
Andrea reached for him again but only grabbed air. Steven was already walking away. And Andrea felt empty. Very empty.
Chapter Seven
“Mary?”
Mary sighed and rolled onto her back as someone touched her shoulder, the mattress dipping. She opened her eyes and looked up at her husband’s face. His expression softened, and he stroked her cheek.
“How are you feeling?”
“A little better.”
Mary’s stomach was still feeling awful. The baby, even in its very early stages, was incredibly restless. She hoped it wasn’t going to be like this for the rest of the pregnancy, or she would be telling Gareth they were having just the one. It wasn’t worth the hassle.
She sat up slowly, Gareth helping her.
“Sorry about earlier, honey. I couldn’t face going to dinner.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Gareth slipped an arm around her shoulders and indicated the tray on the nearby table. “I brought some with me. Mother thought you might want to eat something on your own when you’re ready. It’s bland as well so it shouldn’t upset you too much.”
Mary smiled.
“That woman is a saint.”
“That she is.” Gareth eased back and leaned against the headboard, Mary leaning on his chest as he wrapped both arms around her. “She told me her pregnancies weren’t easy, either. Father would say otherwise, but he wasn’t the one carrying them. Mother was glad she only had three and not eight like her sister.”
