by Anna Sheehan
‘It’s nothing to do with me!’ someone with the vocal range of a herald shouted over the din. ‘Those are the king’s orders, and you get to decide how to go about it.’
I tried to ignore their outcry and go back to sleep, but phrases kept drifting to me through the walls. ‘But the best of the joint was used two days ago for that fiasco of a wedding!’
‘I’m not making another subtlety.’
‘How are we expected to whip up another wedding feast when the head chef fell asleep yesterday?’
‘It needn’t be so fancy as we’d been plannin’. After all, we’s in mournin’.’
‘But this be the king himself! We can’t be foisting him off with some dog chuck and call it a weddin’ feast!’
‘He b’ain’t our king.’
‘He is at that, ye young jade!’
‘Calm down, everyone!’ someone announced in a commanding tone. The noises subsided as someone started issuing individual orders. ‘We have until tomorrow,’ she continued, ‘we can have something reasonable prepared by then.’
‘Presumin’ as that witch don’t get herself killed!’
‘I don’t see why he has to marry her. Ain’t she just as evil even if she can be makin’ gold?’
‘Ain’t his gold if he don’t.’
My brow twitched. I’d thought Narvi was asleep. So be it. Willow had passed her test and was innocent. The wedding was back on. She could have her kingdom, and my hands were clean.
In fact, she owed me, didn’t she? I thought I remembered the general direction of Will’s chambers, so I traversed the royal tunnels for an hour, stretching the residue of too-potent magics out of my system. I knew I had found it when I turned a corner and stumbled, not upon a weapon’s cache, but upon two shelves of worn books. I tested the door I found just beyond them and found it opened into a closet full of Will’s things. I closed the door again and perused the shelves.
Will’s secret library was astounding. The shelves went on for quite a little ways, far more books than she had lead me to believe. I realized quickly why. Though she had some seventy odd grimoires, spell books, and books on magic theory, not all the books were actually on magic. The rest were old stories that told of magicians or sorcerers, children’s stories, faerie tales. These had never been banned, but for a princess they were probably shameful. I ran my fingers down them very lightly, feeling for how much power they had, and how much they had been loved. These were beloved books, cherished, taken out one at a time and devoured again and again.
What was it about her? Sometimes it seemed as if this life of a princess would suffocate her. At other times it seemed to be all she wanted in the world. Why hadn’t she run when I offered to help her? Why not abandon this place of greed and sleep and blood, go and find a life for herself? I had to admit I liked that idea. Will, off on a journey with her questing beasts, her tenacity and strength of will sending anyone who opposed her into cartwheels of confusion. She certainly confused the hell out of me.
But I also knew she wouldn’t leave. And she wouldn’t leave because I had cursed her palace and her kingdom and left her the only caretaker Lyndaria had. I’d taken her family from her. That was the one thing I had never lost. We lost our names, our property, our place in the world, but we had always had the family. My ma and the kit, and even Da before he went wandering. In my envy for all the things I had not, I had taken from Will the only good thing I’d ever had.
Will’s question of the night before ate at me. Why had I done it? So what if I hadn’t intended it to be so terrible a curse. Why had I done it at all?
I wanted to be evil. Things would have been so much easier if I really was evil, after all. This act had clinched it. I should take her books and leave the kingdom to its fate. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear the thought of taking her books from her. I had done too much harm to her already. Instead of taking the books I actually pulled the two books she had already given me out of my shirt and replaced them in the glaringly obvious empty spaces on her shelves.
Still, it was time to get back to my own family.
I turned back the way I came, creeping down the passages in the dark. My faerie eyes could see well enough, but there were no distinguishing marks in these royal routes. I had just turned a corner and found myself faced with another staircase that led up, when I needed to stay on the ground floor. I backtracked until I came to the turn off and turned the opposite way. Suddenly I heard a groan come through the walls. ‘Not so grand are you now, eh?’ said a voice, followed by much laughter. ‘Teach you to go about trying to set witches on decent, honest folks!’ I heard a scuff, and then a grunt, and someone cried out in serious pain.
I was already boiling inside. There was nothing more I could do for Will, and my own situation was just as dire as it had ever been, but someone was being ganged up on – someone who approved of ‘witches’ – and I hated that with a passion. Perhaps this I could do something about. I felt around the wall, one wood, one stone, until I found a catch and opened a panel into a grand chamber filled with equally grand sleeping people. On the floor there was one not so grand, dressed in sober black, curled up in a protective ball as three men in Hiedelen livery kicked him into submission.
I had no spindle, little strength, and even less imagination. I realized as I stood there that I had no idea what I planned to do to stop them. The three stared at me as I came out the wall as if I was a ghost. ‘Demons!’ one of them shouted. ‘Run!’ And to my utter surprise, they left off attacking their victim and fled for the door.
I frowned and reached for my hood. I’d forgotten it. There I was, pointed ears, large slanted eyes, dark as a shadow in a bright room. Moreover, I was stained with blood and sticky with dusty cobwebs from the royal passages. ‘Well, that was easy,’ I said. I made sure I was hooded for the benefit of the victim, who was still curled in a tight ball, protecting his face and vital organs. I lunged for the door and locked it behind the fleeing guards.
The pitiful figure on the ground looked up hesitantly. In a surprisingly regal voice he said, ‘And whom do you presume to be, sir?’
I nearly laughed in his face. ‘I’m a friend of the Princess Willow,’ I said. ‘You’re in no position to sound as if I’ve just interrupted court.’ I bent down and examined his chains. ‘What are you bound for?’ I asked.
He glared at me. ‘I don’t know you.’
‘I don’t know you. Tell me what you’re bound for, or you can stay this way.’
‘Did you say you’re a friend of Will’s?’ he said. He shook his head. ‘This is some trick to get me to confess to some wrongdoing. I trust you not.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Your arrogance tells me you’re royalty,’ I said. His arms were free, but one of them was clearly broken. The chains encircled his ankles, and then were bound quite firmly to an iron ring in the wall, ostensibly a torch holder, but firmly embedded in the stone wall for all of that. ‘Damn. They’re iron. I’m not very good with iron; hold on a minute.’ I looked around the room to see if there was anything I could use. My strength was frail and I’d no spindle. The room was abundant in brocade and silver, but very limited on spinning accoutrements. ‘I’m guessing you’re Narvi,’ I said absently. ‘Older than I was led to believe.’
‘No,’ the prince said. ‘I am Prince Ferdinand of Illaria, betrothed to the Princess Lavender.’
‘Oh, him,’ I said, even more absently.
‘And your name, sir.’
I did laugh, then. A high, giddy giggle bordering on hysteria. ‘And it always comes back to that,’ I said. I turned back to him and examined his arm. ‘You might have to stay here for now. I can’t find anything to free you with.’ I pointed at his arm. ‘I can do something about that at least.’
‘Don’t bother,’ Ferdinand said as I pulled one of the shawls off the bed to turn into a makeshift sling. ‘The guards will be back in a moment, with reinforcements, and likely Lesli himself. Don’t worry about me. Find the princess. Free her, help her to l
eave this place.’
‘Tried that,’ I said, working on his arm. ‘She won’t leave. Don’t move, I need to make sure the bone is in place.’
To his credit, Ferdinand bore the pain stoically, without even a grimace. ‘You found her? Spoke to her? When?’
‘Last night,’ I said. ‘Here, hold this.’ I put a corner of the makeshift sling in his mouth. ‘This has to be still if I’m to do anything for it.’
‘You tried to free her?’ Ferdinand said out of the corner of his mouth.
‘Yes. Stubborn as an ox, that one.’
Ferdinand sagged. ‘I knew they didn’t need to torture me. Ow.’ The sound was more confusion than pain. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Trying to knit this together, at least a little,’ I said. ‘Light, I’d kill for a spindle. I need your help; try to think about the arm that doesn’t hurt.’ I performed a rather ineffective repeat of the spell I’d worked with Will at the monument. I twisted the power together in my mind, but I was weak. The break was not healed, but at least the broken bones had a tenuous connection to each other. I sighed. ‘Best I can do without equipment. Should be a little better.’
‘I thank you,’ Ferdinand said. ‘I take it you have something to do with magic? Are you Will’s tutor?’
‘Something like that,’ I said. ‘Now will you tell me why you’re trussed up like this?’
‘I was caught last night trying to open the door to the East Wing. I had my beasts ready for her, and …’ this was the only time any emotion touched his voice, ‘they slew them before my eyes.’
‘Their power was spent, anyway,’ I said gently.
‘They still saved my life a dozen times,’ Ferdinand said. ‘And now Hiedelen and his lackeys have robbed me of them.’
‘If you cared so much about them, why were you giving them to Will?’
At that moment a groan from the bed caused Ferdinand to start. He crept over to his betrothed’s side and took her hand gently in his uninjured one. ‘I owe Willow,’ he said. ‘I’ve performed her a terrible disservice, and I had to rectify it.’
‘What disservice was this?’ I asked.
‘I refused to marry her.’ He shook his head. ‘Her father suggested it, just before Amaranth fell victim to the sleep. If I had, Will would have been safe from Hiedelen’s intrigues.’
‘What makes you think she would have agreed?’ I said, and my voice sounded very small.
‘Oh, there was no question there,’ Ferdinand said. ‘She’s too honest, in her face and her looks as well as her words. The secret is not very well kept. She’s in love with me.’
I swear my very heart stopped for a moment at those words. I didn’t move or blink or even breathe. I stared at Ferdinand’s bent head and heard nothing through the sudden silence that had engulfed me. It took me a few moments to realize that Ferdinand was still speaking.
‘I should have treated her with less friendship. I did not know how lonely she had been in this palace, how neglected she was, how shadowed by her sister’s charm and beauty. I was trying to become her brother. I did not realize her passion, her isolation, her hunger.’ He shook his head. ‘It was cruel of me. And worse. I know I should have rescued her. I know Lavi would have asked it of me, with her kindness and her nobility. And but for her, I could. If Lavender were dead or wed or gone from me, I could do what I must. I could take Will away from here, wed her to protect her station, win again Will’s kingdom in Lavender’s name. I’ve always known she loved me. I’ve known it since before Lavender Slept. Poor Will. She and I are alike in many ways. I could love her if I did not know there was a perfection such as this.’ He brushed the lily-white brow of the princess in the bed. ‘But while there is a chance of Lavender needing me, I must stay by her side. Not such a hero, am I?’
There were a thousand things I could have been saying to this, but none of them surfaced over the sudden rush of realization I was suddenly drowned in. Will was in love with Ferdinand. It made terrible sense. That night in the forest. The way she had whispered his name, as if it hurt her heart to even mention him. She said she was using me, wanted someone to hold her, to make love to her. She had been speaking in generalizations, but it was Ferdinand who held her heart. It was he whom she wished was courting her. It was because of him that she hungered for someone’s touch. It was because of Ferdinand that she had kissed me.
I stared at the prince. He was wounded and haggard, but I could see the masculine beauty in his face. He held his shoulders square, stood like a man, not like my habitual slink. He was almost as tall as Will. Tall and strong and regal, a hero in his own right. And what was I? A nameless, homeless demon faerie, embittered by years of hardship, filled with rage and utterly hopeless.
What did it matter? It’s not as if it made any difference, the comparison between us. Because I didn’t want Will. I hated her. I hated her very existence. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ I said bitterly. ‘She’ll be married to Narvi on the morrow, and you’ll be safe with your sleeping stupidity.’
He either didn’t catch my last words, or let them pass, because all he said was, ‘Narvi? No, the sleep took him the night Willow spun out the thorns. Lesli’s marrying her himself.’
‘Hiedelen? Lesli? That ancient, boorish tyrant who can’t abide magic?’
‘Apparently he can abide it just fine when it’s spinning gold out of dross,’ Ferdinand said ruefully.
Rage surged through my veins. That greedy, exploitative slime eel! That puffed-up, arrogant tyrant! That darkness cursed, overbearing goose-catcher with delusions of godhood! Will, marry him? Horrifying images flooded my brain, of Will in a white dress standing by his side, of her feeding him the traditional honey cake at the feast, of her huddling in bed waiting for his massive bulk to come and crush her, bearing his horrid children, turning to him, bowing to him, saying, ‘Yes, my husband,’ the sparks in her winter eyes shrouded by misery, her strong form reduced to fat through domestic captivity, image after image of my Will deteriorating in the clutches of that beast.
My Will? My Will? I had to stop thinking of her like that. She wasn’t mine. I didn’t even want her!
Didn’t I?
I hated her. I detested the Lyndal line, blamed them for my misery, and Will was a part of that, a strand in the rope of hatred that had been slowly strangling me my whole life. I despised her.
I had to hate her. Because if I didn’t hate her then the intensity of what I felt for her had to be something … else.
If I had known my name, I would have realized how I felt before that moment. It wouldn’t have taken a litany of mental tortures to tell me that I … loved … her ….
Damn! Damn damn, damn damn, damn damn, damn and damn! I was in love with her. Hopelessly, desperately in love with the blasted princess of Lyndaria. Of all the stupid, atrocious things to go and do! I was tempted to go up to Ferdinand and tell him to slap me, right hard. How had I fallen in love with her? True, she was witty and lovely and honourable and brave and, oh, love of Light, how was I supposed to endure this?
I had to kill this. I had to slaughter this right now, before it grew so deep I was wounded forever. I knew how this kind of thing had to end. But it didn’t matter, because it was already too late. Married. Married to the king of Hiedelen. Married! There had to be some way of stopping this. ‘We have to get her out of here.’
‘You said she wouldn’t go,’ Ferdinand said. ‘I know she won’t. They tortured me as a lesson to her. If she runs, I die. She’ll never let that happen.’
My guts clenched, and I nearly hit him. ‘You can’t let her go through with this,’ I said. ‘You care for her, don’t you?’
Say no, a part of me begged.
‘Of course I do,’ Ferdinand said without emotion. He caressed the princess’s cheek. ‘But Lavender …’
‘How could you choose that nothing over Will?’ I demanded.
He dropped to his knees, his chains clanking. ‘I don’t expect you to understand,’ he said. He looked up at me. ‘We�
��re in love.’ He turned back to her. ‘So long as there’s still a chance … the slightest chance ….’
Clearly Ferdinand was going to be no help. I jammed my hands into my pockets, and what I found there made my fists clench in bitter hope. An idea had come to me. It was elegant in its simplicity, and another step on my path to utter damnation. ‘I’ll kill Hiedelen,’ I said.
Ferdinand’s eyes snapped to me. ‘Kill Lesli?’ he asked. ‘How? He’s protected at all times. Guards stand around him with crossbows at the ready.’
‘I have a way,’ I said.
‘What way?’
‘I’m a magician, remember? Where is he?’
Ferdinand cocked his head. ‘Likely on his way here,’ Ferdinand said. ‘Do you hear them? Coming to investigate his guards’ call of “demon”. Was that an illusion? I didn’t see it.’
‘They’ll only bring more guards. I need Lesli.’
‘He’ll come,’ Ferdinand said with confidence. ‘Anything to do with magic and Lesli expects to be contacted personally. He killed my hound himself.’
‘Then expect the world to be rid of one more dictator,’ I said, and opened the panel of the royal passage. ‘Keep him talking as long as you can. I’ll need time to pull this together.’
It wasn’t long, and Ferdinand was right. I’d barely had time to prepare before the door was burst open by a dozen heavily armed guards, whose eyes darted back and forth across the room, crossbows at the ready. Following these, his face serene, was Lesli Hiedel himself, twisting a narrow piece of wood, probably a pen, idly between his fingers. ‘Why, Ferdinand. I expected you to be eaten up by demons. A few of my men here had quite a shock for a moment.’
‘What they saw was a manifestation of their own guilt, binding and beating an innocent man,’ Ferdinand said, his head held high in defiance. ‘Come to finish the job, King Lindwyrm?’
‘Calm yourself, Prince Ferdinand,’ said King Lesli, with an oily smile. ‘I’m here to release your bonds.’
