by S. J. West
Gabriel’s eyes found mine. “She wants you to help Sarah.”
I think it was the first time the captain realized I was in the room. His head turned to follow Gabriel’s eyes and he stared at me like I had just appeared out of thin air.
“What makes this girl so important?” He asked, his eyes wandering from my hair to the tips of my worn leather shoes peeking out from beneath the hem of my farm girl dress, trying to figure out in a glance why a nobody like me should be so important to a queen.
“Have you ever heard of shifters, Fallon?” Gabriel asked, coming to sit beside the captain on the settee.
“No,” Fallon let his eyes drop from my face as he looked back at Gabriel. “Should I have?”
“Not necessarily,” Gabriel admitted. “What I’m about to tell you might sound preposterous but every word will be the truth.” Gabriel took in a deep breath. “Sarah and I are shifters. We can take the form of people at the moment of their deaths. Sarah will be taking the Queen’s form when she dies.”
“What?” Fallon stood to his feet in outrage.
Gabriel kept his place on the settee, a calm presence in the face of the captain’s anger.
“It’s the Queen’s own plan,” Gabriel assured him. “She fears what will happen to her daughter and to the country after her death.” Gabriel went on to explain to Fallon what parliament was planning and the possibility of Aleksander Chromis becoming Royal Regent. “That is what will happen if Emma’s passing is made public. Do you really want to see our country put through so much turmoil? Haven’t the people been through enough already?”
Fallon sat back down on the settee. Gabriel’s words had forced the strategist in him to surface.
“No, I see the wisdom in her plan.” Fallon looked at me again. His eyes seemed to roam over every inch of my body making me feel naked and vulnerable under his scrutiny.
“And this little girl is supposed to take Emma’s place?” He scoffed before turning his eyes away from me as if dismissing me as nothing more than an inconsequential piece in the Queen’s puzzle.
My back involuntarily snapped straighter.
“I am not little and I’m certainly no girl, Captain Fallon,” I told him, not feeling any need to hide my irritation with his openly condescending opinion of me.
One of his eyebrows arched imperiously as he looked back at me. “Well, you’re certainly no Queen, miss. No matter what form you take.”
His words bit into the heart of my insecurity opening a wound I knew would be hard to mend. He was right. I wasn’t a Queen. It wouldn’t matter that I looked exactly like Queen Emma. I would always be an imposter trying to pass myself off as royalty and I felt the sting of truth from his statement.
“That’s enough, Fallon,” Gabriel said, quickly coming to my defense. “At least show Sarah some respect for doing what her Queen is asking her to do. It’s more than you’ve done in quite some time.”
Fallon’s eyes fell from my face at Gabriel’s none too subtle reminder.
“Can I see her?” Fallon asked in a low voice.
Gabriel stood up and indicated with a slight tilt of his head to me that I should follow them.
As we all walked into the Queen’s bedroom, she awoke as if sensing that the one person she wanted to see most was approaching. A faint smile of pleasure curved her pale, cracked lips when her eyes came to rest on the captain. She stretched out a weak emaciated hand, silently asking him to come closer to her.
Without hesitation, he strode to her bed side joining hands with her.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry, Em,” he replied.
Queen Emma shook her head weakly against the pillow.
“No, the apology should come from me. I’m the one responsible for how your life has turned out. But, I hope to rectify that mistake before I die, if you’ll let me.” She took a deep labored breath before continuing. “And I know I have no right to, but I need to make one last request for your help.”
“I’ll do whatever you need me to do,” he said, sincere in what he knew would be his last act of loyalty to his Queen.
Queen Emma let out a relieved sigh.
“I need you to help Sarah look after Dena for me. Sarah has a good soul and true heart. Try to advise her when she needs it and guide her when she doesn’t even know she needs guidance. Protect my daughter with your life,” I saw Queen Emma squeeze the captain’s hand with what little strength she had left as she made her demand. “She is Vankara’s future. Help Sarah teach her what it means to be a leader of people.”
Queen Emma lost her breath and had to stop speaking to regain it. When she did, her breathing was more labored than before and I could hear the rattle of death with each new breath she took. I knew in that moment she would not live to see another day.
“I will protect Dena with my life,” Fallon fervently promised. “And I’ll help this woman as much as I can, if that is your wish.”
“Thank you,” Queen Emma said, letting her hand drop from the captain’s, too weak to hold on any longer.
Queen Emma directed her gaze to Gabriel and me. Her violet eyes looked dull now from fatigue and sickness, no longer able to hold the light of life.
“Would the two of you mind giving us some privacy? I have some matters I wish to discuss with John alone.”
Before Gabriel and I left the room, I glanced back at the two behind us. The look on both their faces revealed they had truly cared for one another at one time. I couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened between them if the captain had only come to her sooner.
Chapter 5
The captain wasn’t alone with Queen Emma for very long, perhaps only fifteen minutes. When he opened the door to her room, his eyes were haunted by the sadness of regret.
“Would the two of you come back in please?” He asked us, holding the door wide for our re-entry.
After we stepped into the room, Fallon closed the door behind us, making the moment seem more intimate in the confined space of the Queen’s bedroom.
The look of serenity on Queen Emma’s face took me by surprise. She held the countenance of someone who was facing death on her own terms. She was sitting up straighter with the pillows positioned behind her to prop up her fragile form.
“It’s time Gabriel,” Queen Emma said in a voice so calm you would have thought she was asking Gabriel for a glass of wine instead of her own death.
Gabriel was propelled into a state of shock by her statement, his brow furrowed in consternation. “There’s no reason we have to do it now, Emma. You still have a few hours yet to live.”
Queen Emma shook her head, the rattle of her breathing had become even more pronounced during the short time we were absent from the room.
“I don’t think I have that long, and I want the reassurance of knowing Sarah is holding my hand when it happens, ready to accept the responsibility I’m asking her to undertake.”
Queen Emma locked eyes with me like I was the only other person in the room. “Come, Sarah.” She held her hand out. “Take my hand and my place.”
I walked to the Queen’s bedside and sat down next to her. I took her hand into mine and squeezed it firmly.
This was it.
These would be the last few seconds of my life as Sarah Harker.
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Gabriel pull out the drawer in the nightstand beside the bed and retrieve a glass vial filled with a colorless liquid. It triggered a memory long ago buried but resurfacing now calling into question the last time I saw such a thing in his hands.
He took the stopper out and handed it to the Queen. Having made up her mind, there was no hesitation in her movements as she brought the vial of death to her lips and drank the contents. She held the empty container close to her chest, tightening her hold on my hand as if she feared I would suddenly change my mind and try to run away.
I can’t lie and say the thought didn’t cross my mind in those few short seconds. It would have been so
easy to just let go and stay the way I was, but, my parents had raised me too well. I would keep my promises to the Queen no matter how painful the outcome.
“I’m sorry to place such a burden on your shoulders but I know you can handle it,” Queen Emma said to me.
“Why do you have so much confidence in me?” I asked. “You barely know me.”
“Because Gabriel has confidence in you. I trust his judgment and my own. I know in my heart you are a good person, Sarah. You simply have to learn how to be a great leader.” Her eyes left my face and traveled to where Gabriel and Fallon stood side by side. “I’m leaving you with the two people I trust most in the world to help you learn what it means to be the Queen of Vankara. Listen to their advice,” she looked back at me. “But most importantly, listen to your heart. It will never steer you wrong.”
Those were the last words Queen Emma Vankar ever uttered.
Her eyes closed as her body slowly went limp. The glass vial she had been holding fell from her grasp onto the bed. I tightly clasped the hand I held waiting for my transformation to begin.
Almost instantly, I felt a wave of intense energy leave the Queen and enter my body through our conjoined hands. The pain was ten times worse than I remembered feeling from the passing of the real Sarah Harker. My body felt like it was on fire, dropped into a vat of molten lava that was melting away my identity and flesh all at once. I released my hold on the Queen’s hand, desperately clutching at the excruciating pain in my stomach as I fell into a crumpled heap on the floor beside the bed.
“No!” I heard Gabriel yell. “Leave her alone, Fallon. You’ll only cause her more pain if you try to interfere.”
I wanted to cry out in agony but couldn’t find a voice to scream with. My bones cracked and shifted. My muscles stretched and pulled. A memory, not my own, formed in my mind. I was chasing a small tow-haired angel around a large oak tree. Her curly locks and sun kissed cheeks glistened against the streams of sunlight filtering down through the oak’s leaf covered limbs. Her laughter filled my heart with a mother’s longing to be with her.
I focused on the Queen’s memory, replaying it over and over again until finally the pain in my body subsided, and I felt the cool comfort of being whole again. I opened my eyes and cautiously lifted myself into a sitting position. I looked up to find Gabriel staring down at me with a grim smile of approval as he took in my new face. My eyes shifted involuntarily to Fallon who wore a mixed look of horror and fascination.
“Do I look like her?” My hand flew up to my throat. I sounded different. I didn’t remember that happening before. But, I was young when I became Sarah Harker. Children aren’t as prone to self-awareness as adults are.
“Exactly like her,” Gabriel confirmed with a certain amount of satisfaction, stretching his hand down for me to take.
When I stood, I noticed I was a couple of inches shorter than I had been before and my dress seemed tighter across the chest. I looked down at the hand Gabriel held and saw the pale white of the Queen’s skin now stretched over my bones.
“What are we going to do with Emma?” Fallon asked, looking towards the bed at the Queen’s lifeless body.
I got the distinct feeling he was purposely averting his eyes from me, a living ghost of his once beloved Queen. I couldn’t blame him in his need to act as though I didn’t exist. I felt certain viewing my new reflection in a mirror with the Queen’s face staring back at me would be a haunting experience, one I wasn’t prepared for just yet.
How long would it be until I forgot what Sarah Harker looked like, just like I had April Pew?
“Emma wanted to be cremated,” Gabriel told us. “I brought a cremation stone with me.”
I actually knew what stone Gabriel was speaking of. It was made by the mages at the College, like almost all magical objects were. When placed on the body you wanted to cremate, the stone would give off a burst of intense heat. I had seen it used when the Queen’s father was cremated. Even now I can remember the high blue arching flames which consumed his body. It was a beautiful declaration to his life and a sad reminder of his loss all at once. In no time at all, the King’s corpse had been reduced to a pile of sparkling white ashes.
“What are we going to tell Inara?” I asked. The Queen’s voice was a bit higher and softer than I was used to. The difference in tone and strength felt strange as it reverberated against the interior of my throat.
“We’ll wrap her up in a sheet and tell Inara its Sarah’s body we’re cremating,” Gabriel answered.
“And what’re you gonna tell her Sarah died of?” Fallon asked.
“We’ll tell her Sarah suddenly became ill with the plague.”
“Won’t she be suspicious?” I asked.
“Suspicious of what?” Gabriel questioned. “A girl she hardly knew dying of a disease that’s wiped out half the world’s population?”
“Suspicious of how quickly I died after catching it,” I tried to reason. “For someone my age, it would normally take up to a month not a few hours.”
“I’ll just tell her you were unusually susceptible to the disease. I doubt Inara will question it too stringently. When she sees her best friend and Queen completely healthy, she won’t be thinking about much else. As long as we hide the Queen’s face, Inara will never know it’s her.”
Gabriel and Fallon began wrapping the Queen’s body up as reverently as they could in one of her bed sheets.
“She deserves better than this,” Fallon grumbled lowly, working the sheet around the Queen’s corpse.
“She was the one who planned everything, Fallon,” Gabriel said, his voice sounding tired. “We’re simply carrying out her last wishes.”
Once the Queen’s body was prepared, Gabriel went out to the front room and sat at a small writing desk situated in the corner nearest the Queen’s bedroom against the wall of windows. He took out a piece of parchment, a stylus and an ink pot quickly scribbling out a short note. He placed the note in a small wooden cylinder. From a decorative bird cage standing in the opposite corner of the room, Gabriel took out a bird made of rose and gold colored metal. When he placed the wooden cylinder beneath its gold clawed feet, the bird automatically latched onto it. Gabriel pulled out an ornate key from the top of the bird cage and inserted it into a key hole next to one of the bird’s wings. He cranked the key until a click was heard. Gabriel walked back to the desk and lifted the sash of one of the windows. The mechanical bird spread its wings and flew out.
“Where is it going?” I asked.
“It will carry our message to Inara. I’m sure you noticed the compartments are completely separate from one another.”
“Why isn’t there a connecting door? Wouldn’t that be easier?”
“It’s a security precaution for the most part. If someone were to board us, they would have a hell of a time gaining control of the ship with Inara safely tucked away within the navigational controls. It’s virtually impossible to get in there.”
“Has anyone ever tried to take the Queen’s ship?”
“Once, a long time ago, but they didn’t succeed. In fact, the commander of the ship at the time simply flew them directly to Gromstrand prison.”
A couple of minutes later, we heard a tapping noise outside the window marking the bird’s return. Gabriel quickly read the brief missive inside the wooden cylinder it carried.
“She says we can make the stop in another hour. She knows of a clearing where we can land and cremate the body.”
I looked through the open doorway and saw Fallon still standing at the foot of the Queen’s bed, watching over her like a sentinel of the dead. I wondered what he was thinking. Was he remembering better times with the Queen when they were lovers? Was he regretting not coming to her sooner to mend their relationship before it was too late?
There was one question which plagued me most about John Fallon: did he still intend to honor the dying wishes of his Queen and serve me as loyally as he would have served her?
There was no doub
t my naiveté on matters of state would hinder my ability to lead Vankara as well as Emma Vankar had. I wasn’t delusional enough to consider myself anything else but a farmer’s daughter. I knew I would find myself in dire straits if Fallon decided advising me was beyond his capability.
The three of us were in our own little worlds while we waited for Inara to take us to the Queen’s final resting place. I think we were all in silent agreement that talking about the future while the Queen’s body still rested on board the ship was highly inappropriate.
Sometime later, I noticed the speed of the airship decrease.
“You’ll need to change out of those clothes,” Gabriel said to me, looking at the plain blue dress belonging to Sarah Harker. “There is a red dress in the wardrobe. Emma picked it out for you to wear. She’s been wearing black since her husband died, but she said you should arrive at the palace wearing the red one. It will mark the end of her mourning and give you the opportunity to choose a husband when the time is appropriate.”
“A husband is the furthest thing from my mind.”
“Well, you never know,” Gabriel said with a gentle smile. “The right man might sweep you off your feet before you even realize it.”
“Are we there?” Fallon asked, finally leaving his post beside the Queen.
“I believe we are getting close,” Gabriel informed him.
I went into the bedroom careful to keep my eyes averted from the Queen’s sheet wrapped body lying on the bed. I changed out of my simple cotton dress as quickly as possible and donned the red silk gown hanging in the Queen’s wardrobe. The dress was simple in cut with a full bodied skirt and tailored matching jacket which fit snuggly across the waist but had sleeves which seemed to bloom at the shoulders and taper down to the wrist. A small matching top hat decorated with with black feathers and gold jewelry was also in the wardrobe but I didn’t have the courage to try and figure out how I was supposed to wear it on my head.
I felt the airship come to a complete stop as I was lacing up my black leather boots. When I stepped out of the bedroom, Inara, Gabriel and Fallon were huddled together discussing the best place to cremate the body.
