Gone Guy (Sand & Fog Series Book 5)

by Susan Ward

  Her entire face lights up. “That’d be all right by me.”

  “Then, seeing as that’s settled, it sort of makes you my girlfriend. I mean if you want to be.”

  Her smile grows larger, but it lands in my stomach like a spear. Shit, I don’t usually tell girls junk like that. False promises in the moment when you know it’s unrealistic. But she’s so sweet I want it to be true.

  She lightly fingers my shirt. “So it’s official? Exclusive and everything?”

  “You better be exclusive if you’re my girlfriend.”

  I growl, and she laughs.

  She settles against my chest and it feels so damn good.

  “It’s a lovely thought, but it’ll never work out,” she whispers, her voice flat again.

  “It’s going to work out. Something that feels as right as us being together isn’t supposed to end.”

  My arms tighten around her and I touch my lips to her hair. Her tits feel so good pressed against me. I love how her ass fills my hands. Sweet. Perfect. Mine.

  “Eric, if you’re messing with me, stop it. If you haven’t guessed, I’m in love with you.”

  It echoes through my head.

  Right now I want her in a way I’ve never wanted a girl before. “I’m not messing with you, Willow. When I leave Seattle, I want you to come with me to LA.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Eric

  A SOUND, ABRUPT AND clicky, pulls me from sleep.

  My slowly focusing senses identify what woke me. A computer keyboard. Willow’s still at it.

  I inhale deeply and smell the scent of sex from the sheets. Better than a blast of caffeine to shake off the grogginess. Memories of yesterday flash in my head. It was a kick-ass day even after that phone call with Hugh.

  Fuck, did I really ask her to come to LA with me? The thought of having her full-time there is a turn-on. My body stirs. Yep, I did. Then I remember she didn’t give me an answer.

  I still haven’t figured out how it would work, us being together in LA. I don’t think it’s going to go as smoothly as me being in Seattle with her. There are too many problems to work through.

  It’s probably for the best she didn’t jump on the offer. But it bugs that she didn’t. I’m not used to being blown off by girls, not for anything.

  Maybe all that talk about being in love with me is bullshit. It could be a Tara move: upping the emotional cards as a feeler to see if she’s made another conquest.

  I love you, Eric.

  Fuck, if Tara were really in love with me I’d stay in Seattle forever just to avoid her. She has a singular mind-set when she decides something. No, she’s more like a black widow spider waiting to devour her mate.

  I check the clock on my cell. It’s after 2:00 a.m. Willow’s been trying to search engine her way to a solution to get me home tomorrow since we finished dinner last night. Some problems don’t have solutions, but Willow doesn’t believe that. How hard she’s working at this would wound if I didn’t know that’s her character.

  Work hard.

  Live hard.

  Fuck even harder.

  The perfect girl if she lived in LA.

  I gaze over at her, blinking. She’s hunched over her laptop, room pitch black, and computer screen painfully bright.

  “Turn that off and lie with me, love,” I whisper, my voice raspy and low in that way that usually gets me my way with her.

  She exhales loudly. “I can’t sleep. Trying to find a way home for you is a better use of time.”

  Not a better use of time, and it’s not going to happen.

  I stare at her. “If I leave tomorrow this could be our last night together.”

  She stops typing. She runs her teeth over her lower lip several times. Hmm, she’s thinking about it. It also confirms she’s not considering going to LA with me.

  My mood dips unexpectedly. It was one of those in-the-moment things out of my mouth, but I didn’t think it would feel this way for her to say no. Hell, I didn’t think she’d say no.

  I pull her into my arms and start kissing her along her neck. “Stop that,” she protests, trying to wiggle free.

  “Why? We feel good right now.” I run my tongue along her ear and she shivers, relaxing against my chest.

  Perfect. Her tits are where I can reach them. I start to slowly caress and brush her nipples with my thumbs. Her head moves with the touch of my mouth along her nape.

  “You didn’t answer me earlier about going to LA with me.”

  “We can’t even get you to LA, Eric.”

  She laughs, then jerks when my hand slides inside her pajama bottoms. “Is that the only reason you didn’t say yes?”

  She shakes her head.

  I don’t know why I’m pushing because it’s better where she left the question. Before I can stop myself, I ask, “You going to tell me what that means?”

  “The shake of a head means I don’t know. It’s all too sudden.”

  She’s got that right.

  Leave it alone, Eric.

  Make love to her instead.

  That’ll keep your mouth from saying any more stupid shit.

  I run my thumb across her clit and go back to kissing her neck. Her butt wiggling against my cock gets me fully hard and pulsing. Fuck, I’m just going to enjoy being with her and not think.

  I sink a finger in her and she groans. “I did find one way you could get to LA tomorrow night that might work.”

  “Wonderful. Tell me about it later.” She’s breathy and wet, and my mind’s focused only on her. There’s no room for anything else.

  I turn her over on my chest and claim her mouth, massaging her butt so her clit moves against my dick.

  She breaks our kiss. “Eric, there are charter private aviation shuttles between Seattle and Los Angeles. They’re expensive, but it’s not a commercial airline. You don’t need ID to get on a flight. Just money.”

  I’m grinding into her.

  It takes a moment to focus on what she said.

  Then my eyes widen.

  She’s right. Fuck, why didn’t I think of this?

  Then some of my excitement wanes, because I know enough to know there’s no way could I scrape together enough money in twenty-four hours to buy a seat.

  “I have practically no money,” I remind her. “It’s gotta cost a grand to take a private air shuttle.”

  She nods.

  She gnaws on her lower lip.

  She’s debating something.

  “What?” I ask, unsure whether I want to know or get back to fucking her.

  “I’ve got that much saved.”

  I freeze. “No, Willow. I couldn’t borrow that much from you.”

  She lifts her nose. “You’d pay me back, right?”

  “I’d pay you back. But it still wouldn’t be right.”

  “Pfft.” She rolls her eyes. “It would only be wrong if you didn’t pay me back. But since you will there’s no problem.”

  She scrambles off me and grabs her laptop. After clicking through screens, she turns it to me. “See. There’s a seat available at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow night. It’ll get you home in plenty of time to be at your meeting Wednesday.”

  Sinking my fingers in my hair, I shake my head. “No—”

  “Why not?”

  I lock eyes with her above the laptop. Why does she have to stare at me all happy and expectant? Taking money from her for my flight home would make me feel like more of a shit than I’ve been.

  She gave me a place to crash.

  She’s paid for our dates.

  But this?

  “It’s too much, Willow.”

  I start to close the screen; she stops me.

  She’s typing again. “I’m doing it. I trust you, Eric. I know you’re going to pay me back.”

  Emotion is strangling my throat. “Every cent.”

  She glances over her shoulder at me and smiles. “Everyone needs help
sometimes, Eric. Don’t go all macho male pride on me now. You can do something special for me next time.”

  I lightly finger the flannel covering her leg. “Something special, huh? You’ve got a deal. On one condition.”

  “Oh yes. I forgot you’re a one-condition freak. Even when getting a huge favor from a girl.”

  I take a moment to collect myself, because this isn’t the right move. It only feels like it is—or rather the expedient way to feel less lousy—and I’m trying to make the moment pass.

  She looks up and searches my face. Her eyes are unblinking, intense, and the shimmer in those midnight orbs pulls me to her in effortlessly.

  “Book two tickets, Willow. And come to LA to collect what I owe you personally.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Willow

  MY BODY SHUDDERS AS he gently glides into me. I’m still in the full hold of my orgasm, disembodied, or maybe I’m hovering on a cloud or something.

  Is this what love feels like? Is this why I’ve never felt this way with a guy before?

  My thoughts scatter like leaves on the wind as he picks up the pace. His throaty moans fill my ears and my senses. His passion-damp skin begins to quiver beneath my fingers as his hands scoop me from the bed to meet his powerful thrusts.

  “You get me so fucking hot, Willow.” He slams into me, and the vibration runs all the way to the tip of my toes. “I’m going to come, love. Can’t hold back.”

  I wrap my arms and legs around him. And with my body I urge him onward.

  “I love you, Willow,” he sputters between groans.

  In this instant everything feels real.

  Him.

  Us.

  What he wants.

  The emotions rushing through my veins.

  He said he loved me, and even though I know it doesn’t count if the first time a guy says it is during sex, my heart refuses to believe me.

  My rapid breaths seem to float on his as our bodies slowly descend. Then he turns until he’s beneath me, his strong tattooed arms molding me tightly against him, and I lift my lids to find his chiseled features bathed in an aura of pure contentment.

  “Say yes,” he whispers against my lips. “Say you’ll come to California with me, Willow. I’m not leaving Seattle without you.”

  I let our kiss play out as I try to decide if he’s serious about taking me to Los Angeles with him. It might only be something he said to make himself feel better about borrowing money from me to get home.

  He probably doesn’t mean it.

  We’ve only known each other five days. It’d be crazy to run off to California with him because it hurts right now knowing that when he leaves we’re over.

  That’s a lousy reason to turn my life upside down.

  “Why don’t you move to Seattle instead?”

  He touches light kisses across my chin. “I can’t, Willow. My life is in California. My career is in LA. Everything is finally coming together for me except one part. You won’t be there. Come with me. You have no idea what you’re in for if you join me there. Things you can’t even imagine.”

  It’s scary how much I want to. “And then what? What would we do? Do you even have a place to stay there?”

  “I’ve told you. I have an apartment in the Hollywood Hills. That’s where we’d stay. I wouldn’t ask you to come with me if I couldn’t take care of you. All you have to do is say yes and hang on for the ride.”

  The ride. I feel his warm flesh and his cock teasing my skin. “I have to be in Charlottesville in two weeks. I start college there soon. I’ve already paid my fall tuition.”

  “Then be with me two weeks and decide later if you’re staying.” His palms flatten against my butt, grinding me into him. “I know you want to.”

  “Leave for college as planned in two weeks?”

  His cobalt blue eyes turn large and gleaming. “If you decide to leave, I’ll understand and let you go. I won’t like it. But I’d get it.”

  How Eric stares at me scrambles my thoughts.

  Fuck, I’m nodding.

  My heart wants to follow him.

  The rest of me is in free fall.

  Did I really just agree to pack my bags and head to LA with him? I must’ve. He looks so happy.

  “You’re going to love living in LA with me, and you won’t ever think about leaving.”

  Then his mouth closes over mine, devouring, and the feel of him sweeps me along with him into this fantasy.

  And that’s what it is: a fantasy.

  Guys like this are in romance novels, not in real life. Well, not in the real life of girls in Seattle who live above a bar. Not girls without money or glitzy lives. Not girls with nearly nothing going for them.

  This is the kind of thing that doesn’t happen to girls from Capitol Hill. The hot guy who falls hopelessly in love with her, climbs the fire escape, and brings every kind of wonderful into her life.

  He works his way down my body, planting searing hot kisses in a trek to my clit, and I moan as my fingers close around his hair.

  I won’t ever find a guy who can make me feel this way ever again. I want what he’s offering me to be real so badly I hurt.

  After Eric goes down on me, he falls asleep, his head on my pillow and his body turned in my direction. I can’t drag my gaze from him. How is it possible he’s even more gorgeous when he sleeps? I want to roll over, ease back into him, and let him hold me.

  I slip from the bed and go quietly toward the kitchen. There’s a pleasant kind of stillness to the rooms. Jade and Gary are sleeping. There are hardly any street sounds. But that won’t last long. It’s almost dawn.

  Without switching on the light, I sit on a chair at the kitchen table and stare blankly at the wall. I should have never told him I’d go with him. But those were the words in my heart. In my head. And as much as it hurts every time I think of him gone, I think it would hurt more right now if I hadn’t allowed myself to say it.

  Tears spill down my cheeks. My sister’s right. Girls are unhappy because when what we want is staring us in the face, most of us are afraid to take it. Happiness doesn’t fall in your lap. A girl has to reach out and grab it.

  But when he gets on that plane, I won’t, and we’ll be over. My heart doesn’t want to believe it, but I know that’s what happens next.

  I hear footsteps, and I brush at my damp face as the light turns on. Jade stares at me. “Why are you crying, sweetie? Are you OK?”

  I shrug and shake my head. Don’t know.

  She pulls a chair near me and sinks down so close our knees touch. She brushes back the hair from my face. “Did something happen? Tell me what’s wrong.”

  I lean back in my chair and take a deep breath. It feels like it’s rattling around inside me with nowhere to settle. “Eric’s going home tomorrow.” No that’s not right. I correct myself quickly. “Today.”

  New tears pool in my eyes.

  Jade takes her lower lip between her teeth, biting hard as she studies me. “You knew that yesterday and it didn’t make you cry. Why are you crying?”

  I lay my cheek on my knees and stare at the floor. “He asked me to go to LA with him.”

  “What’d you tell him?”

  “I said I’d go.”

  It sounds like Jade sucks in a full chest of air. I chance a peek at her from beneath my lashes. Crap. I shouldn’t have told her.

  “Is that what you’re going to do?”

  Thank you, Jade, for not saying what I can see in your eyes. Every reason why I can’t go. A soggy laugh pushes its way out of my emotion-tight throat. “No.”

  Her brows crinkle. “Then why did you tell him you would, Willow?”

  “Because I want to, and I can’t. Dad’s going to need me here helping him after he gets out of the hospital and it’d break his heart if I didn’t go to school. But I wanted to say it. For a while feel how it would feel if I could really go with Eric and have it real just for
a few hours.”

  I can feel her studying me, trying to understand that.

  “It isn’t that you can’t go, Willow. It’s that you know you shouldn’t.”

  She’s right, but it’s not that simple. What if Eric’s the one and I let him slip through my fingers? Jade would tell me he isn’t if I said that. I don’t know what to say to her.

  She pulls me in her arms.

  “If you went,” she whispers, lightly stroking my hair, “it’d be a mistake and you’d regret it. I don’t want that for you, sweetie.”

  I nod. More tears come anyway.

  “You’re right,” I say, sniffing. “I’m sure it would end awful. But it’s nice to believe for a few minutes that it wouldn’t end awful and that there’s every kind of wonderful out there even for me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Willow

  THREE HOURS INTO THE morning at the bar I’m a jittery mess. No matter how I try not to think, my thoughts and emotions continue to shoot inside me like balls in a pinball machine.

  It would’ve been nice if Jade could have given me this one shift off. I need time to process my emotions so at least I don’t make a fool of myself with Eric at the airport.

  I check my watch. 11:00 a.m. Thank God I can cut out soon. That leaves four hours before we have to be at Sea-Tac.

  Ugh. I haven’t even told Eric I can’t go with him. I woke this morning intending to and somehow didn’t. I know it’s wrong, but I don’t want anything ruining my last afternoon with him.

  That second thing I shouldn’t have said to him yesterday—that I love him—wasn’t a lie. And Ivy’s right. A girl needs to keep her pride in the tough moments. I don’t want to cry all over him as I tell him goodbye.

  I glance nervously around the bar and find Eric at the table he’s been at all morning with Gary. When I look at him, my heart leaps. The electric charge zapping beneath my skin makes my breath hitch.

  I want him.

  In that always-be-with-him way. More than I’ve ever wanted with any guy.

  But I just can’t have him.

  I’m sure Jade and Ivy would find my thoughts silly, but the connection I feel to him is real. A presence in my body, pulsing in my veins, and holding captive every part of me.