by Susan Ward
It’s like I’ve known him forever—only you haven’t, my inner self points out, followed by an unwelcome refrain that I don’t know him at all.
Not really and truly.
I haven’t met his family.
Seen where he’s from.
It’d be crazy to go to LA with him into a total unknown.
I pause for a moment and stare.
His bright blue eyes are shining with—amusement? Irritation? His jaw is tense; he’s annoyed. Steady gaze, relaxed posture, his adorable chin slightly bobbing, but he doesn’t have me fooled. Gary’s spewing something that’s bugging him.
Gee, how do I know he’s annoyed?
He doesn’t look it.
Ugh, Willow.
You love him.
That’s how.
I make one last trip across the wood counter with the cleaning rag, focusing on my hands, trying to calm my inner turmoil.
Jade pats me on the back. “Why don’t you clock out, sweetie? I can finish the rest for you.”
The offer surprises me, but then the vibe between us has been strange, painfully careful all morning. Then I remember earlier in the kitchen, pouring out my heart and tears to Jade as she held me. All the things I said. Needing to get them out of me. And that my sister got quieter and gentler with each word.
Even absorbed with my sadness, I didn’t fail to note how she was. It was nice, more like the Jade before Mom died. Then I knew the second I left her to wake Eric and dress for work why she’d been quiet and gentle.
There must have been something on my face or in my voice that made her afraid that if she pushed in her typical Jade fashion I might change my mind and take off with Eric.
That’s not going to happen.
We both know it.
But it’s sweet she loves me so much she’s afraid it could. I shouldn’t like scaring her that way. Yet I do. I really do. Weird, but it makes it hurt less that I have to pick my family over Eric.
When I leave the back room after putting away my apron and changing my shirt, Gary’s sitting on a stool near my sister and Eric’s alone at the table.
“Jade said I can leave if I want to.”
Eric looks up and his brows crinkle, confused. “She did?”
“Not that.” I manage a laugh. “Work.”
“Oh.” His eyes shimmer. “I was pretty sure you hadn’t said anything to her about our plans. It’s been too quiet in here—other than Gary talking about nothing for four hours—and something tells me it wouldn’t have been if you’d talked to her about moving to LA with me.”
I make a face and shake my head. “I did tell her everything this morning.”
“You did? What happened?”
“She’s my sister. She let me talk and she listened.”
“No advice?” He sounds shocked.
“No, this morning she was just my sister.”
His lips push together, the corners downward as if he’s mulling that one over. “I can’t believe you told her, but if she’s not giving you a hassle, that’s good. Besides, it was probably better to give her a heads-up. I don’t think you could leave for California with me without her knowing. Leaving for the airport carrying a suitcase—even Gary could figure out that one. So what now? Back to your room to pack? Or back to your room for something…better? A romp and a nap before we hit LA.”
“No romp. No nap.” He pouts, and I laugh. “You know what I’d really like to do? Can we go walk or something? I need air.”
He shrugs. “Sure. Whatever you want.”
My inner me wags a finger in my face. Coward.
I really need to tell him I’m not going to LA.
But not here.
After I grab my sweater, we leave the bar.
It’s a gray morning. The clouds haven’t burned off even though it’s almost noon. Not unusual, even in summer, but it annoys me.
Sun today would make the world look less depressing and uncertain. And my mood might move in the direction of what my eyes see if the streets were bathed in a warm, orangey glow instead of coated with a dull gray.
He slips his hand into mine and gives my fingers a squeeze. “Are you going to miss it here?”
“Of course. Wouldn’t you if you left home? Everyone misses where they’re from when they leave it.”
He purses his lips. “Yeah. I always miss southern California when I’m gone for too long.” His eyes fill with a gleam. “Then I get back and wonder why.”
I laugh. “Don’t believe you. You don’t want me to think you’re all sensitive and stuff. But I know better.”
“Oh, you do, you do?”
I curl around the arm holding my hand. “Yep. You try to act tough but inside you’re a teddy bear.”
He grimaces. “A teddy bear? Ah, no.”
“It’s not a bad thing. Why do you act offended?”
“Because it makes me sound all wishy-washy like Gary. I’m not even close to that way. I’m a go-for-it kind of guy.”
I point at a bench. “Do you mind if we sit for a while?” He touches it to see how cold the metal is, and I roll my eyes. “Gee, for a guy who spends part of his life in London you have thin blood.”
He quirks a brow. “Must’ve got it from my mum.”
“What’s she like?”
I plop down and wait for him to join me.
“She’s beautiful. She’s a blond-haired, blue-eyed California girl.”
“But what else? I want to know everything.”
He considers it for a moment. “She’s a brilliant musician. Smart and nice. A little shy until she knows someone, so don’t be put off if she doesn’t do a lot of talking around you. But she’s an all-around terrific mum.”
“I think I’d like her.”
“You’re going to like her,” he corrects.
I take his hand holding mine and spread it flat, palm upward, on my thigh.
He frowns. “Do my calluses bother you? No way around it playing the guitar.”
“No.” I make a silly face. “I just wanted to look at your palms. Put the other one next to it.”
He laughs as he does it. “Why? Are you going to read them?”
No, I want to memorize what they look like. I shrug. “I could if you want me to.”
“Dark-haired, dark-eyed like a Gypsy. Why doesn’t it surprise me that you’re a fortune teller?”
I give him a shove with my shoulder. “If you make fun of me I won’t do it.”
“You have to do it now. You’ve gotten my curiosity up.”
I start tracing the lines with my thumb. “This one is your life line.”
“Is it any good?”
“Long and curvy.”
“What does that mean?”
I don’t know anything but what the main lines are. Ivy taught me that, but I’m making this up so I can touch his hands and not have it be weird.
“You’re going to live long but it’s going to be full of crazy times.”
His expression glows. “See? What’d I tell you? That sounds like a rock star’s life. Even my palms say it’s going to happen.”
“Leave it to you to read what you want into what I tell you.”
“Optimism is a virtue. Positive thought really works. You can get through a whole lot of shit if you stay positive. Do you want to know what my grandpa Jack always says?”
I perk up. “Your grandpa’s name is Jack?”
His brows furrow. “Didn’t I tell you that?”
I shake my head.
“This is a first. I’ve gone five days without quoting him. Great poet. Great guy.”
“Is there a point to this? You were going to tell me what he said.”
“There is a point to this.”
Then his face pulls that adorably confused expression, and I know he’s pretending not to remember. “Tell me,” I growl.
He chuckles. “It’s one of my favorites. ‘Sometimes seeing things
how you want to rather than how they are is the only thing that carries you into the next day.’ Fucking epic and true. Don’t focus on how things are. Focus on how they can be.”
I smile, and my shoulders slouch a bit. “I like that. Fine. Believe what you want with my read of your palm.”
He leans in for a fast kiss. “Thank you. I was going to anyway. Can’t go against Jack’s advice. Not ever.”
“Then don’t.” I drag my gaze from his and go back to his palm. “See this one? It’s the head line. Long and wide. Yep, you didn’t lie to me when you said you were born an arrogant prick. Palm doesn’t lie.”
He relaxes back against the bench, trying not to laugh. “I should have let you read my palm a long time ago. Then you’d know all on your own that I wasn’t spewing crap to you.”
“Lots of crap and a bit of truth, I think. Reading your palm would only help me separate it.”
“Crap? What do you think I spewed that was crap?”
His features are taut.
I meet his eyes directly.
“It’s OK, Eric. No big deal, and I’m not telling you what you’ve told me I’ve figured out is malarkey. All guys spew a few lies. We girls expect it.”
“This isn’t fun anymore.”
“I’m not stopping now. This is interesting.”
He exhales—annoyed—but he doesn’t take back his hands from me.
“This is your heart line. Long and prominent again. You have a lot of love in your heart to share.”
“I told you I was a great guy.”
I fight not to laugh. “Try arrogant prick again.”
“No difference.”
“But see these lines cutting through it?”
“Yes?”
“You try not to love or let the people in your life see how much you love them.”
I feel him tense, then he leans over, blocking my view of his palm. “Those aren’t lines. Those are calluses. They don’t count.”
“Doesn’t matter. Not for my read.”
“Well, it should. I don’t like that.”
And I can’t help it…I raise my eyebrows at him. “Your fortune is your fortune whether you like it or not.”
“Can’t we neck on this bench instead?”
“No. I’m going to finish this. I have to, Eric. It’s too important not to.”
He eases back, and I can hear that his breathing has changed. All my senses are hyperalert to him. It shouldn’t surprise me that his are to me as well, and he can feel my escalating inner frenzy from having decided to use this silly reading as a way to tell him I’m not leaving Seattle with him.
His eyes narrow a little. “Fine.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat and lower my gaze. “This line here is your memory line.” Only it’s not. It’s his fate line. “You remember everything in your life and the people you meet forever. You don’t ever forget anything.”
“That’s true.” There’s nothing playful in his voice.
I lift my chin. “And after you leave Seattle, you’re not ever going to forget me. I’ll always be someone you remember and be special to you.”
He’s motionless, staring at me, and I see the exact moment he gets what I’m saying. “What’s going on, Willow? Why did you say that?”
Tears spring unwelcome in my eyes.
This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
I give him a small apologetic shrug. “I can’t move to LA to be with you. Worse, I don’t think you really want me to. And if I went it’d be the wrong choice for the both of us.”
I see barely contained surprise in his eyes.
My heart clenches.
“I wouldn’t have asked you, Willow, if I hadn’t meant it. If that’s why you’re backing out on me now.”
I shake my head. “I can’t go. That’s why I’m not. I’d let my family down and I can’t do that, Eric.”
“I understand family, love. Believe me, I do. But you’ve got to do what’s best for you. What do you want?”
“To go with you.” It’s the truth.
His hands close on my face. “Just hear me out before you flat-out say no. That part about me not really wanting you to say yes, well, that was true when I first asked you. But afterward I started thinking about having you with me and I realized I’m fucking jazzed a girl like you wants to be with a guy like me. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re the best girl I’ve ever known.”
He moves into me like he’s going to take me in his arms, and I hold up my hands. He could flip my decision on its head so easily if I let him.
I lift my nose. “And you’ll still know me. Remember, you leaving doesn’t mean we stop knowing each other. That’s what you told me. It wasn’t just bullshit, was it, Eric?”
“No,” he murmurs, his voice full of intensity.
“Then this isn’t goodbye. Not unless you decide after you’re gone it should be.”
“I won’t, Willow.”
“I’ll understand if you do,” I say softly, but feel agonizing pain giving him an easy-out door. I rip my gaze away from his before I—too late. Fat tears plop from my eyes to roll down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry. You can believe me when I say I don’t want what we have to be over. It’s a two-hour flight, Willow. Nothing. Remember?”
I nod, and he slips an arm around me.
I curl into his chest and let the tears flow unchecked. So much for my pride, but I don’t care. I’ve never met anyone like Eric and I know I won’t ever again. Life can be so unfair sometimes. It’s better not to meet a guy like him than to find out he does exist but you have to let him go.
He starts fishing in his pocket and pulls something out. He tries to lift my face, but I won’t let him. I don’t want him to see it all blotchy and red and wet. “I’m going to give you this, Willow. To hold on to for me. It’s a claim ticket for a watch I got a loan on at the pawn shop. I have to be back on Sunday to buy it from the owner or I’ll lose it forever. It was my grandpa Jack’s. No way am I not coming back for it.”
I can hardly keep up with his words as he puts the paper in my hand and closes my fingers around it.
He kisses my forehead. “You keep it so you know you’ll see me again. You can believe me, Willow. I’ll be back. On Sunday.”
The emotion gushes out of me and I melt against his chest. His arms turn into a tight cocoon around me.
He holds me and kisses my hair, and some of the misery inside me is soothed. This time when he lifts my chin, I let him. “I’m coming back, Willow. I don’t want to lose you. If you can’t be with me in LA, then I’ll fly wherever you are. Seattle. Virginia. It doesn’t matter. Because I’ve fallen in love with you and that hasn’t happened to me before.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
His smile is something I feel not see. “I know. Crazy, huh? If you think about how we met.”
I choke on a laugh.
But holy hell.
Is this real?
Can I believe him?
I look at the pawn ticket in my hand.
Not a promise ring, but I’m pretty sure it’s better.
There’s a knock on my bedroom door. “The Uber’s downstairs,” Jade announces.
The last two hours.
They went by so fast.
I glance around my room, lost and disoriented.
I feel the bed dip beside me, and Eric’s stare on me, but looking at him is too risky. “Willow, come to the airport with me.”
“No. I’d rather say goodbye here.” A lump rises in my throat. I don’t want to start crying again. I did enough of that during our walk.
“It’s not goodbye, love,” he whispers, slowly guiding my face toward his. “We’re not saying goodbye at all.”
Damn. This is why I didn’t want to look at him.
I see him.
My heart leaps.
A frantic, thumping beat from only how h
e gazes at me. Those bright blue eyes are shining with a smile. Funny, I didn’t notice that before. There’s always a smile in his eyes, no matter his mood or what we’re doing. The smile never completely disappears from those captivating orbs.
I close my lids for a second, then look again.
My pulse ticks faster.
How does he do that? Have it hit me each time as though it were the first time I’d seen him.
Unbelievable.
I stare up at him. “Can I ask you something?”
His eyes widen as if surprised, but I can feel that he’s not. He’s nervous instead. I’m not sure why, but he’s running his fingers through his hair. “Go ahead. Shoot.”
His immediate seriousness makes my question seem silly now. “It’s just, I wanted to know. Why me?”
“Why you?” He noticeably unbends, scoops me up into his arms, and rolls until I’m lying atop him. “What kind of question is that?”
I lift my nose. “A good one, I think. Why do you love me?”
His mouth scrunches up as if he’s searching for a reason, but those eyes of his look like they’re grinning now. “It’s not something I can explain.”
“Don’t mess with me, Eric. And you better explain.”
He suppresses a laugh. “I better, huh?”
My eyes fly wide. “Yes.”
I give him a playful shake on the shoulders. This is deadly serious to me, but I’m glad he can’t see that.
“It’s not like there’s a single reason—”
“Try to come up with one.”
“One reason. OK.” The light in his eyes changes into something deeper, richer. “Because you are you.”
“What?” I frown even though he’s trailing his fingers up and down my back, and unexpectedly, that answer feels like the most significant thing any guy’s ever said to me. “You better think up something else quick, Eric, or you may not have a girl waiting in Seattle after you leave.”
“Why? That’s the reason you should hold out for to be willing to wait for a guy.”
I search his face. “Is it?”
“Yes. The one you should want a guy to say to you. It’s even more than saying I love you.” He kisses me then adjusts until we’re spooning and I’m wrapped in the warmth of his body. I feel his lips in my hair, close to my ear. “I’ve heard because you are you said a thousand times by my dad to my mum. But I never understood why those words made them look at each other the way they do. Not until you, Willow. But, fuck, I get it. I love you because you are you. That’s everything.”
