But this was a very difficult proposition indeed. How could Binoy keep such a major blow in store for Gora, whose imprisonment had redoubled Binoy’s affection for him! And then there was tradition. It is easy to cross society in theory, but to cross it in practice creates so many tensions, big and small! Terror of the unknown and rejection of the unaccustomed keeps pushing one back, without any rational cause.
‘Ma, the more I observe you, the more amazed I feel,’ Binoy declared. ‘How is your heart so pure? Don’t you need to tread on the ground? Has Ishwar given you wings? Is there nothing to confine you, anywhere?’
‘Ishwar has left me with nothing to bind me,’ smiled Anandamoyi. ‘He has swept everything clear.’
‘But Ma, whatever I may say outwardly, my heart still poses constraints. For all that I comprehend, read and study, or argue about, I still realize suddenly that my heart has remained uneducated, after all.’
At this point, Mahim entered the room and immediately subjected Binoy to such rude interrogation about Lalita that his heart cringed in humiliaiton. Controlling himself, Binoy hung his head and offered no reply. After making some extremely insulting remarks pointed sharply against all parties concerned, Mahim left the scene. He argued: ‘There’s a shameless conspiracy afoot in Poreshbabu’s family to ensnare Binoy like this and bring about his downfall. Binoy has been caught in such a trap only out of foolishness. Let them ensnare Gora, that will be something. That’s difficult, indeed!’
Seeing such signs of humiliation everywhere, Binoy was stupefied.
‘Do you know, Binoy, what you should do?’ Anandamoyi asked him. He raised his head to look at her.
‘You ought to meet Poreshbabu once. A few words with him and everything will become clear.’
~51~
Sucharita was surprised to see Anandamoyi so suddenly.
‘I was just getting ready to visit you,’ she exclaimed.
‘I didn’t know that,’ smiled Anandamoyi, ‘but hearing why you were getting ready, I couldn’t wait. I just came along.’
Sucharita was astonished to learn that Anandamoyi had heard the news.
‘Ma,’ said Anandamoyi, ‘I regard Binoy as my own son. Because of that relationship, how often I have mentally blessed you all, even without knowing you! How can I sit still upon being told that you have been wronged? I don’t know whether I could be of any benefit to all of you, but I have rushed here because my heart was full of anguish. Ma, has Binoy done anything wrong?’
‘Not at all. It is Lalita who is responsible for the matter that is causing such turmoil. Binoybabu had never imagined that Lalita might suddenly leave on the steamer without informing anybody. People are talking as if the two of them had hatched a secret conspiracy. And Lalita is such a spirited girl, she would never contradict the rumours or somehow explain what really took place.’
‘We must find a solution,’ declared Anandamoyi. ‘Ever since all this reached his ears, Binoy has lost all his peace of mind; he has assumed himself to be the culprit.’
‘Please tell me, do you think Binoybabu …’ said Sucharita, lowering her flushed face.
‘Look here, bachcha,’ interrupted Anandamoyi, not letting the embarrassed Sucharita complete her words, ‘I assure you Binoy would do anything you ask, for Lalita’s sake. I have known him since he was a child. Once he surrenders himself, he can hold nothing back. That is why I must remain in constant dread, lest he give his heart where there’s no hope of his receiving anything in return.’
Sucharita felt a load had been lifted off her mind. ‘You need not worry about Lalita’s consent,’ she affirmed. ‘I know her mind. But will Binoybabu agree to leave his community?’
‘His community may reject him,’ declared Anandamoyi, ‘but why should he anticipate that by withdrawing from his community beforehand, ma? Is there any need for that?’
‘How can you say that, Ma! Can Binoybabu marry into a Brahmo family while he is still part of the Hindu community?’
‘If he is willing, why should all of you object?’
Sucharita found this extremely complicated.
‘I can’t see how that might be possible,’ she confessed.
‘To me it seems very simple, ma! Look, I can’t follow the restrictions that prevail in my own household, hence many people label me a Khristan. When any rituals are performed, I deliberately remain aloof. You will be amused to know this, ma, but Gora doesn’t accept the water served in my room. But why, therefore, should I say, “this is not my room, this community is not my own”? I can’t bring myself to say that. Accepting all the abuse heaped upon me, I remain within this home and this community, with no undue hindrance. If the obstacles become too much for me, I shall take the path that Ishwar shows me. But to the end, I shall claim what is mine as my own; if others don’t accept me, it is their problem.’
Sucharita was still not certain. She argued, ‘The views of the Brahmo Samaj, if Binoybabu doesn’t …’
‘His views are similar too. The views of the Brahmo Samaj are not outlandish after all. He often reads to me the advice published in your journal; I can’t see where the difference lies.’
‘Suchididi,’ called Lalita, entering the room. Seeing Anandamoyi, she immediately flushed in embarrassment. From Sucharita’s expression she instantly guessed they had been discussing her. She would have been relieved to escape from the room, but it was too late.
‘Come, Lalita ma, come,’ cried Anandamoyi. Taking Lalita’s hand, she drew her very close, as if they had developed a special intimacy. ‘Look ma,’ Anandamoyi now said to Sucharita, continuing in her earlier vein, ‘it is hardest to combine the good with the bad, yet even that happens in this world, and we pull along somehow with a mixture of joys and sorrows. Not that it only causes harm: for sometimes, even good may come of it. If that too is possible, I fail to understand why a minor difference of opinion should keep two people apart. Are human affinities really a matter of opinions?’
Sucharita hung her head.
‘Would your Brahmo Samaj also prevent two human beings from coming together?’ Anandamoyi pursued. ‘Would your Samaj outwardly divide people whom Ishwar has inwardly united? Ma, is there no community anywhere that would disregard minor differences and bring everyone together in a major union? Will human beings continue forever to oppose Ishwar like this? Were communities created only for that?’
Was Anandamoyi’s fervour in pursuing this subject aimed solely at removing the obstacles blocking Lalita’s marriage to Binoy? Was there not another motive in her wholehearted attempt to dispel the hint of doubt she sensed in Sucharita? It would not do, indeed, for Sucharita to remain trapped in such traditional ideas. If it was decided that the marriage could not take place unless Binoy converted to Brahmoism, the hopes Anandamoyi had nurtured of late, even in these difficult times, would be reduced to dust! That very day, Binoy had asked her:
‘Ma, must I register with the Brahmo Samaj? Must I accept that as well?’
‘No, no,’ Anandamoyi had insisted, ‘I see no need for that.’
‘What if they pressurize me?’
‘No, pressure would not work in this case,’ Anandamoyi had replied, after a long silence.
Sucharita did not participate in Anandamoyi’s discussion; she remained quiet. Anandamoyi realized that inwardly Sucharita was still not convinced.
‘If my heart has broken free of all social prejudices, it is only because of my affection for Gora,’ Anandamoyi thought to herself. ‘Is Sucharita not attracted to Gora, then? If she were, this trivial issue would surely not seem so important.’
Anandamoyi felt rather downcast. There were just a couple of days for Gora’s release from prison. She had privately imagined that the ground had been prepared for his happiness. Gora must somehow be pinned down this time, else there was no saying what predicament he might get into, or whe
re. But it was not in every girl’s power to pin Gora down. It would be wrong, though, to marry Gora to a girl from the Hindu community—hence she had rejected outright the proposals received from various families burdened with daughters. ‘I shall not marry!’ Gora would declare. People were surprised that as a mother, she never protested even once. But this time, observing some signs in Gora’s behaviour, she had felt secretly overjoyed. That was why Sucharita’s silent opposition to her views was a great blow to her. But she was not one to give up easily.
‘We shall see,’ she said to herself.
~52~
‘Binoy, I don’t want you to take a rash step, to rescue Lalita from a difficult predicament,’ Poreshbabu declared. ‘Social blame does not mean very much; in a couple of days, nobody will even remember what the fuss was all about.’
Binoy had no doubt that it was only to do his duty by Lalita that he had braced himself for battle. He knew such a marriage would cause awkwardness in the community, and more importantly, that Gora would be furious. But using only his sense of duty as a pretext, he had dismissed such unpleasant thoughts. Now that Poreshbabu suddenly sought to abjure that sense of duty completely, Binoy was loath to let it go.
‘I can never repay all of you for your affection,’ he responded. ‘If I cause the slightest trouble for your family even for a couple of days, that too would be intolerable for me.’
‘Binoy, you don’t quite understand. I am delighted that you hold us in such high esteem, but if you are ready to marry my daughter only to repay that debt, it would not gain her much respect. That is why I was saying that the predicament is not grave enough to require the slightest sacrifice from you.’
So, Binoy was relieved of the burden of duty. But his heart did not rush out to embrace freedom like a bird that swiftly flaps its wings and flies away upon finding its cage door unbarred. He still did not want to move. For on the pretext of duty, he had demolished the dam of long-imposed self restraint, deeming it unnecessary. Where his mind would earlier advance very timidly and step back in shame like a culprit, it now firmly occupied a large space. Now it was hard to turn him back. When the sense of duty that had led him there now urged him: ‘It’s needless to remain here any longer bhai, let’s turn back!’ his heart replied: ‘Return if you find it needless, but here I shall remain.’
When Poresh left no more room for subterfuge, Binoy blurted out: ‘Don’t imagine for a moment that I am ready to accept something painful to answer the call of duty. If all of you consent to it, there could be nothing more fortunate for me. My only fear is, lest …’
‘Your fears are baseless,’ the plainspoken Poreshbabu declared unhesitatingly. ‘I have learnt from Sucharita that Lalita is not averse to you.’
Binoy felt a lightning flash of joy in his heart. A deep secret of Lalita’s heart had been revealed to Sucharita. When and how had this happened? Binoy was pierced by a sharp, mysterious bliss upon learning that through hints and suggestions, such intimate knowledge had passed between these two women.
‘If you all consider me worthy, nothing would bring me greater joy!’ cried Binoy.
‘Wait a little. I’ll just go upstairs once.’ He went to seek Borodasundari’s consent.
‘But Binoy must convert,’ she said.
‘Indeed he must,’ Poreshbabu assented.
‘Arrange that first,’ she insisted. ‘Why don’t you send for Binoy?’
‘So we must fix a date for the conversion,’ Borodasundari said, when Binoy came upstairs.
‘Is there any need for conversion?’ Binoy asked.
‘Any need? How can you say that! How else can you marry into the Brahmo Samaj?’
Binoy remained silent, hanging his head. Upon hearing that Binoy was willing to marry into his family, Poreshbabu had instantly assumed he would convert and join the Brahmo Samaj.
‘I have a high regard indeed for the spiritual beliefs of the Brahmo Samaj, and my conduct up until now has not contravened them either,’ Binoy pointed out. ‘So is formal initiation necessary?’
‘If your beliefs are consonant, what harm in seeking initiation?’ Borodasundari argued.
‘It is impossible for me to declare that I have no connection with the Hindu community,’ Binoy replied.
‘Then it was wrong of you to bring up the subject at all,’ Borodasundari declared. ‘Have you consented to marry my daughter out of kindness, in order to help us?’
Binoy was deeply hurt. He realized that his proposal had indeed become humiliating for all of them. It was a while since the law sanctioning civil marriage had been passed. At the time, Gora and Binoy had sharply opposed it. For Binoy to accept civil marriage now and announce himself ‘not a Hindu’ was also very difficult.
Inwardly, Poresh could not accept the suggestion that Binoy should marry Lalita while still a member of the Hindu community. Sighing, Binoy rose to his feet and joining his hands in a namaskar, he said:
‘Please forgive me. I shall not add to my wrongdoings.’
He left the room. Approaching the stairs he glimpsed Lalita alone at a small desk in a corner of the veranda ahead. She was writing a letter. Hearing his footstep, she raised her eyes to look at him. That momentary glance instantly set Binoy’s heart in turmoil. His acquaintance with Lalita was not new after all; she had often raised her eyes to his face; but today, what mystery did her gaze unfold to him! Sucharita had learned a secret concealed Lalita’s heart. That intimate secret appeared to Binoy’s eyes today like a moisture-laden, gentle cloud that had gathered, full of pathos, under the shadow of Lalita’s dark lashes. In Binoy’s momentary glance, his heart’s anguish also flashed across like lightning. With a farewell namaskar in Lalita’s direction, he went down the stairs without addressing her.
~53~
When he came out of prison, Gora saw Poreshbabu and Binoy waiting for him at the gate.
A month was not a long time. Earlier, Gora had traveled for more than a month, away from relatives and friends. But seeing Poresh and Binoy as soon as he emerged from a month of separation in jail, he felt he had been reborn into the familiar world of his old friends. On the highway, under the open sky, in the glow of dawn, seeing Poresh’s calm, affectionate, naturally dignified face, Gora touched his feet in an unprecedented ecstasy of devotion. Poresh embraced him.
‘Binoy, I have shared my entire education with you, right from school,’ smiled Gora, taking Binoy’s hand. ‘But at this school, I have given you the slip and outstripped you.’
Binoy could neither smile nor speak. His friend seemed to have emerged from his mysterious ordeal in prison with a stature far greater than that of a friend. In deep reverence, he stayed silent.
‘How is Ma?’ Gora enquired.
‘Well enough,’ Binoy replied.
‘Come my dear boy,’ said Poreshbabu, ‘the carriage is waiting for you.’
As the three of them were about to mount the carriage, Abinash arrived there, panting for breath. He was followed by a crowd of boys. Seeing Abinash, Gora tried to hurry into the carriage, but Abinash blocked his way before he could succeed.
‘Please wait a little, Gourmohanbabu,’ he said. He had not finished speaking when the boys burst into song at the top of their voices:
Gone is the night of sorrow, the day has dawned.
Broken, broken, are our chains of bondage.
Gora flushed. ‘Quiet!’ he roared, in his thunderous voice. The boys were stunned into silence.
‘What’s all this, Abinash?’ Gora demanded.
From the folds of his shawl Abinash produced a thick garland of kunda blossom, wrapped in banana leaf. Taking his cue, a young lad produced a piece of paper printed in gold lettering, and in a voice as shrill as a clockwork organ, started rapidly reading out a message congratulating Gora upon his release from prison.
Forc
efully flinging aside Abinash’s garland, his voice choked with suppressed rage, Gora exclaimed: ‘Is this the first act of your show! Have you been practising all month to make me the clown in your jatra party here at the public roadside today?’
This had been Abinash’s long standing plan; he had hoped to create a dazzling impression. Such annoying public spectacles were not current at the time we are speaking of. Greedy to take the entire credit for this extraordinary event, Abinash had not even discussed it with Binoy. In fact he had himself drafted a report for the newspapers, planning to send it off as soon as he got home, after filling in a couple of missing details.
‘You are unfair,’ protested Abinash, upset at Gora’s reprimand. ‘We have suffered no less than what you underwent in prison. Every moment, this last month, our ribs have been scorched by the inextinguishable flames of burning husks.’
‘You are making a mistake Abinash,’ Gora insisted. ‘Look carefully and you will see at once that all the husks are still intact, and your ribs have suffered no fatal damage either.’
Abinash was not subdued. ‘Those in power have insulted you,’ he persisted, ‘but today, on behalf of the entire land of Bharat, we offer this garland of honour …’
‘This is becoming intolerable!’ interrupted Gora. ‘Poreshbabu, please get into the carriage,’ he urged, brushing Abinash and his party aside. Poreshbabu heaved a sigh of relief as he mounted the carriage, followed by Gora and Binoy.
Travelling by steamer, Gora arrived home early the next morning. He saw a large number of his party members assembled in the outer portion of the house. Somehow extricating himself from their clutches he went to Anandamoyi in the privacy of the antahpur. Having bathed early that morning, she was ready and waiting for him. When Gora came and fell at her feet in obeisance, tears gushed from Anandamoyi’s eyes. The tears she had suppressed all these days could not be restrained anymore.
Gora (Modern Classics) Page 35
