by P. R. Paige
"Is that it?"
"How much time do you have?" I ask him.
"How much time do you need?"
"I'm not even sure I can work this job anymore," I say to Perrin as I pick myself up from the floor.
"May I ask why?"
"I think I may need to take a year off to discover who I really am."
"I already know who you are. You're a nut."
"Yeah, but what else?"
With ideas twirling around in my head, I say, "Maybe I'll be like the woman in Eat Pray Love and take a year off, travel from city to city and find myself."
I drop down on Perrin's bed and he sits across from me.
"Are you ready to tell me what's really going on?" Perrin asks me.
"I think my period is coming, and I'm a little emotional right now."
"You can't blame this kind of show on your period," Perrin reminds me. "Why did you leave Rome?"
As soon as I hear that question, it jolts me into a state of alertness. "I already told you."
"Tell me again," he demands.
"Because he's married, or at least he used to be, to a woman who is still living with him as his wife. What chance do I have? And to top it off, this woman is a good friend of mine. How sick is that?"
"Pretty sick," Perrin says, "but you're pretty happy now, right? I mean since leaving him and all?"
I'm certain Perrin is trying to be funny, but I answer him anyway. "Not really."
"So, why don't you go back?"
His suggestion is like shock treatment to me, and I immediately lunge into a standing position. "I will do no such thing. I'm not going back to that sick relationship. I won't hear of it."
"But you want to, though, don't you?"
"Maybe just a little," I say reluctantly.
"Sometimes a little is all you need."
"Besides, they wouldn't want me back anyway."
"Like you really believe that," he says to me. "Did you ever see the Woody Allen film, Whatever Works?"
"No."
"It's about finding happiness wherever you can, just so long as it is legal and no one is harmed."
Perrin makes a great point, but I'm not backing down. I made my bed and now it's time for me to live in it.
An hour later, I snap out of this stupor that I am in and force myself to move forward. Though unmotivated, I do what I can. I organize Perrin's kitchen cabinets, grocery shop for all of his goodies, pay his monthly bills online, change the sheets on his bed, wash two loads of laundry, and prepare meatloaf and mash potatoes for his lunch.
Later that evening, feeling somewhat stable, we watch the movie, Whatever Works and it's a good one. I am inspired and filled with a hint of hope. Not wanting to return to my empty apartment, I stay in Perrin's guestroom.
I pull back the covers and slip into bed. I'm like a gypsy or something with no permanent home to call my own. Less than forty-eight hours ago, I was living in the House of Rome. Twelve hours after that, I was checked into the White Carpet Inn Hotel. Less than twelve hours after that, I was back at my own apartment, and now here I am in Perrin's guestroom.
What is it with me?
Am I like one of those drifters who travels from bedroom to bedroom, in search of nirvana?
My white tea diet is officially over.
Wearing nothing more than a white tank top and lace panties, I relax in Perrin's kitchen stuffing my face with Frosted Flakes and cantaloupe. The sounds of instrumental jazz resound from the living room stereo, and I am passionately remembering the greatest moments in my life, and there are many.
Today is a great day to be alive. I am beaming with energy, enthusiasm, and zest.
Could it be because the sun is shining? NOT.
Could it be because the birds are singing? NOT.
Or, perhaps, it is because I have a wondrous idea that I can't wait to explore. With a sizzling smile on my face and a little bounce in my step, I dance into the living room and pluck the Webster's dictionary from the shelf. In the center of the room, I thumb through the pages and finally find what I'm looking for.
My thoughts are now crystallized.
An Aha moment is defined as a point in time, event, or experience when one has a sudden insight or realization.
And today is my Aha moment.
Episode Twenty-Five
It's a blistering ninety degrees when I exit my Volkswagen Beetle in the driveway of the House of Rome. The sun is shining, and the air is warm and calming. I am at peace with myself and everything around me.
I remove my Gucci sunglasses, then fetch the glossy psychedelic gift bags and Dom Perignon champagne from the back seat and sashay myself towards the front door. Cloaked in confidence, I lift my head back, stare up at the sky and smile. I am bursting with a worldwind of positive energy, and most of all, I'm fearless.
I inch my way closer to the entrance, and I feel as though I am being cheered on by one of my favorite songs, Renegades by X Ambassadors blasting from inside the house. At this moment, I am exactly where I want to be.
Before I have a chance to ring the doorbell, the front door swings open. It's Rome, and he's wearing tailored white shorts and his signature Fedora hat.
He is one tall glass of handsome.
The warmth of his welcoming smile burns a hole in my heart, and I am hypnotized by his soothing brown eyes staring into mine.
I smile back at him, take one step forward and kiss his chin. Then he does something he has never done before. He removes is Fedora hat and gently positions it on top of my head. For moments on in, there is a large silence. I absorb his red-carpet energy, then I say it.
"I'm ready to come home now."
About P.R. Paige
P.R. Paige is a devout journaler, having kept a written record of her life since age 13. Her favorite movie of all-time is "The Wolf of Wall Street" as she cannot get enough of eccentric characters, whether in real life or fiction. She never forgets people who tell her personal secrets as she is the most curious person on the face of the planet. Though she loves to talk, she is an even better listener. Kind people occupy a special place in her heart. Her three greatest loves are: People, books and doggies. Contact her at: [email protected].
See the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pr8SyjxdWfc
